“Taek-woon oppa, do you have time today? Would you like to try some of my coffee?” Taek-woon sighed as he stared at the bright phone screen while still in bed, Hak-yeon and Hong-bin’s arms wrapped around his waist. He usually had no problem whenever Saet-byul asked to see him, as she never asked often, but he was particularly uncomfortable leaving this time. He had greatly miscalculated Hong-bin’s dependence on him, thinking that his insistence on independence had meant he was getting better. He had planned on staying home today to watch him. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll have to come another time.” He had just managed to place his phone on the nightstand before he felt the hands around his waist tighten. He sighed quietly as he looked down at Hong-bin, the younger boy’s face pressed firmly against his stomach. Without making a sound, he reached over and placed a hand on the other’s head, stretching his fingers through his hair. 

Hong-bin’s eyes blinked open, and he froze when they blearily looked up at him. He didn’t say anything, his body so stiff against Taek-woon’s. Slowly, he untangled his hand from Taek-woon’s shirt, reaching out tentatively to Taek-woon’s face, his fingers shaking–

They both jumped when Hak-yeon suddenly jerked upright, and one look told Taek-woon that something was very wrong. He hurriedly sat up and grabbed Hak-yeon’s face in his hands, running his fingers over his cheeks. “Hak-yeon,” he said quickly, noting how wide his eyes were, the pupils dilated. “Hak-yeon-” 

Hak-yeon’s hands shot out and held onto his own, his arms shaking as his mouth opened, gasping desperately. He began to panic when Hak-yeon started to hyperventilate, his chest heaving as his head lolled back. Hong-bin panicked next to him, crying out Hak-yeon’s name but too afraid to touch him. Taek-woon quickly laid Hak-yeon down, keeping one hand on his cheek and the other over his chest. His chest was tight, and even though he was continuously gasping, he wasn’t breathing. 

Hak-yeon became more and more desperate, his arms flailing and his hands grabbing onto anything and everything. Taek-woon hissed when he scratched his arms, blood pooling over his skin. Right when he thought that Hak-yeon couldn’t possibly go without breathing anymore, he suddenly screamed, grabbing onto Taek-woon’s arms as he hunched over.

“Hak-yeon!” he cried out fearfully, gathering the older boy in his arms and crushing him close, the other’s head. Hak-yeon continued to scream, loud screams that pierced Taek-woon straight to his soul- he was petrified. This never happened before; Hak-yeon never acted like this before. He didn’t know what this was and he didn’t know what to do. He suddenly felt so useless, the only thing he could do for the other was to just hold him, and that was probably the worst thing he could do. 

Hak-yeon continued to jerk painfully in his arms, his legs and arms lurching as if hit. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, him holding Hak-yeon so tightly the other couldn’t move and Hong-bin hiding deep in his closet.

But just as quickly as the episode started Hak-yeon stopped mid-scream, falling limp in Taek-woon’s arms. 

It was so abrupt that he didn’t realize for a good minute, and when he felt the other was completely still save for small breathing, he finally opened his eyes. Carefully, he loosened his arms and let Hak-yeon lay down on the bed, noticing how his skin was shining with sweat. His eyes were unfocused, staring at nothing particular even when Taek-woon whispered his name. He the elder’s cheek, trying to get some response from him, but in the end decided it best to clean him up. 

Without a word, he left the room and brought a cool, wet towel, bringing it in and using it to wipe Hak-yeon’s face. Hak-yeon didn’t react at all, even when Taek-woon wiped his eyelids and nose. He moved down to cleaning his hands, pausing as he held his healed, mutilated hands. He ran his thumb over the jagged scar on his right hand, the ridge pointy and unnatural. He stared sadly at Hak-yeon, a wave of guilt rushing over him. He gently lifted his hand to his lips, kissing them and tasting the salty sweat. 

“Hyung?”

Taek-woon jerked away, looking up embarrassedly at Hong-bin, the other having crawled out and now stood by the bedside. His eyes were locked firmly on Hak-yeon’s hand in Taek-woon’s, and for a second Taek-woon thought he was going to snap again and push him away. But instead Hong-bin merely knelt on the floor, laying his head next to Hak-yeon’s, resting his hands on the bed without touching him. 

Taek-woon stared at Hong-bin for the longest while, wrestling with his desire to stay by Hak-yeon’s side and knowing it was best to leave the two alone. In the end, he did what he knew was best; he pried Hong-bin’s hand open and placed the wet towel in it. “Hong-bin, watch him. Make sure to clean his face when he sweats.” 

Hong-bin stared at him with wide eyes, unsure, watching him wordlessly when Taek-woon stepped out of the room. 

He moved to the kitchen, only making it to the counter before nearly collapsing, holding onto the countertop for support. That...that had been terrifying. Hak-yeon had had episodes before, though they were only when he hears a voice he doesn’t recognize or sees someone he doesn’t know. And even then they were only mild. This....this had been something much worse. Feeling Hak-yeon trying to breathe but unable to...the look of pure terror on his face... He squeezed his eyes shut as he took a steadying breath, his shoulders heaving. 

Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he could really take care of the two on his own. 

He was just starting to calm down when his phone started ringing, and he shot like a bullet back to his bedroom to grab it. He looked to the caller, growling when he saw it was just Saet-byul, answering just to quiet the phone. 

“What is it?” he growled irritably, running out of the room before he could disturb the two. Luckily, it seemed like neither had heard. 

“Taek-woon oppa...” He frowned when he heard how sluggish her voice was, her words slurred. He heard a gasp on the other end that sounded vaguely like crying. Concerned, he forgot all about his annoyance and answered her sincerely. 

“Is something going on Saet-byul?” 

“Taek-woon oppa...” Again she let out a long sigh, and again she sounded like she was crying. “Will you please come out and meet me? I...I’ll make you coffee.” He glanced in the room, Hak-yeon finally starting to move as he held onto Hong-bin’s hands tightly, and he sighed into the phone. 

“I...”

“Please...it won’t take long. I just...I just need to see you.” He hesitated answering, watching as Hak-yeon started to quietly sob, burying his face into Hong-bin’s shoulder as the younger boy awkwardly held him in his arms. His fingers tightened, watching how Hong-bin, the damaged boy who knew nothing, was able to comfort his friend better than he could. 

“...alright. I’ll meet you in a half hour.” 

--

His eyes widened as his mouth dropped the moment he saw Saet-byul sitting in the empty cafe, the guy behind the counter sending him a dangerous glance. She noticed her co-worker’s glare, looking around curiously until meeting his eye, smiling. His fists tightened as he watched her struggle to smile, her swollen cheek shaking as her blackened eye fought to stay open. “T-Taek-woon oppa,” she called out, her words slurred, raising a shaking hand to wave him over. 

His eyes met with the cashier one more time before he carefully made his way over to her, sitting across from her. Her hand limply fell down into her lap. “Thank you so much for coming out to meet me,” she continued, ignoring how his eyes ran over her face. “Was it really cold outside?”

“No,” he finally answered, swallowing heavily. “Saet-byul, who-”

“Let me make you coffee,” she quickly cut him off, shooting to her feet and wincing. He shot out of his seat, his hands helping to steady her, and he could see her flinch away when his hand brushed her side. Without waiting for her to protest, he ripped her coat open and lifted her shirt slightly to see a darkened bruised running across her ribcage. He sent her a scathing look but she ignored it as he she angrily shoved him off, wrapping her coat tightly around herself. 

“S-sit down,” she demanded, her hands shaking as she went straight behind the counter, ignoring the questioning look of her co-worker. While dropping the subject was the last thing he wanted to do, he eventually forced himself to sit back down, his eyes watching her carefully. She refused to look up at him, and all he could think about was that someone had hit her. Whoever it was, it was someone she was trying to protect, seeing as she refused to tell him. But something was niggling in the back of his mind. 

Was it coincidence that the day she comes in bruised and beaten was the same day where Hak-yeon had his episode? 

The two of them had always been close, far more connected than he could probably understand. But it was impossible; there was no way that could be possible. He drummed his fingers against the table until she finally came back, plastering a smile on her swollen face as she set his cup down in front of him. In order to stop himself from asking questions again, he took a sip of his coffee. His face scrunched up immediately, coughing at the extremely bitter taste. Saet-byul fretted. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Saet-byul, this tastes awful.”

She flinched as she looked to the coffee, frowning. “But Hyuk said it tasted good.”

He shook his head as he placed the cup back down, not ready to take another sip. “Hyuk lied.” 

She pouted, shoving the phone she had pulled out of her pocket away. “I’ll scold him later,” she said playfully, and he knew she was trying to distract him. 

“Did it happen this morning?” She froze, and both knew exactly what he was referring to. She didn’t answer, so he continued softly. “Was that why you called me?”

“I-I called you because I wanted to make you coffee.” 

“No you didn’t.” He spoke gently, knowing what would happen should he raise his voice. The two always reacted negatively when he shouted, and he could only imagine how fragile Saet-byul really was. She looked down into her lap, her one good eye tearing up. “Did your parents do it?”

“No,” she breathed, shaking her head. “Ji-hyun and Sang-hoon never touch me.” 

“Was it someone at school?” She shook her head. 

“Was it someone you knew?” She hesitated before nodding her head, biting into her lower lip. 

“...was it Hyuk?”

“Of course not!” she snapped viciously, glaring in a way he had never seen from her before. In fact, he didn’t think he had ever seen her angry before. His eyes widened as her fingers gripped the side of the table tightly, her eyes lighting up as her lips turned into a growl. “How dare you-”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, reaching over and placing his hands over hers tenderly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” It took some coaxing before she finally relaxed, allowing him to knead her fingers until she let go of the table and relaxed back into her chair. “I didn’t mean to make you angry. I’m only trying to figure out who hurt you.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. 

“Yes it does,” he pressed, eyebrows knit. “Whatever happened to you happened to-” His eyes widened when he realized he spoke too much, hurriedly snapping his mouth shut, but it was already too late. Saet-byul shot up in her seat, scooting forward and leaning as close as she could. 

“What? Something happened to N? What? What happened to him? Is he hurt? Taek-woon oppa, tell me!” 

“I didn’t want to worry you-”

“I don’t care,” she nearly shrieked, her hands shooting out and grabbing his coat sleeves, trembling in pain. “What happened to N?”

“He had an episode,” he said, barely above a whisper. “It was an extremely violent one that left him exhausted.” Her fingers released in surprise, her eye wide in shock as she fell back into her chair. “It looked similar to the way you were hurt, so I can only wonder...” His voice trailed off when he saw Saet-byul reach into her bag and tenderly pull out a small, cloth doll.

He hadn’t seen that doll since that fateful day in the hospital, her always hiding it away and refusing to take it out. It looked extremely worse for wear, the thing ragged and large rips stitched together poorly. But what fascinated him most was the way Saet-byul looked at it, such love filling her eyes as a finger reached out and its face. “I...I’m sorry,” she croaked out, wiping imaginary tears away from its eyes. “I wasn’t thinking and I hurt you. I’m sorry.” 

“Saet-byul-”

“Please tell N I’m sorry,” she murmured, cupping the doll in her hands. “Please tell him I didn’t do it on purpose.” He nodded, thinking that speaking would only fluster her further. She didn’t say anything for the longest time, pressing the doll lovingly to her chest and shuddering. “Was...was he hurting a lot?” 

Taek-woon sat frozen as he kept his eyes low, not knowing exactly how to answer her. Hak-yeon had looked like he was in a great deal of pain, his pain-filled screams still echoing in his ears. Yet there were no physical indications that he had been hurt, and afterward he seemed to be almost numb. He must have waited too long to answer, Saet-byul repeating her question a little louder. 

“Did he hurt a lot?”

“No,” he eventually muttered out, shaking his head. She didn’t look convinced, opening to say something when a sharp ring rang out in the silent cafe, Taek-woon snapping to attention at the ominous sound. He assigned that ringtone for only one number, a number that made his heart stop with just the sound. He wasted no time fishing the phone out and bringing it to his ear.

“Hak-yeon-”

“Taek-woon hyung,” came Hong-bin’s strained voice, large sobs blaring through the speaker. He shot to his feet, Saet-byul shouting when his coffee spilt all over the table. 

“Hong-bin?” he asked worriedly. How did Hong-bin call him? Hong-bin had no idea how to use the phone, never cared to learn. It had always been Hak-yeon that would call. “What’s wrong?”

“Hak-yeon hyung...please save Hak-yeon hyung.” 

“What? What happened to him? Where are you now?” He shifted the phone to his other hand as he snatched his coat up, struggling to put it on. Saet-byul froze mid-cleaning, staring up at him with wide eyes when she realized he was leaving. He paid her no heed as he snapped at Hong-bin, hearing the boy starting to fall into sobs again. “Hong-bin!”

“Hak-yeon hyung...he-”

“Let me out! Open this door Hong-bin!” Taek-woon paused at the sound of Hak-yeon screaming, loud banging audible in the background. He fished some money out of his pocket and hastily shoved it in Saet-byul’s hand for the coffee, scrambling to the door. Something was wrong. The two never fought, had an infinite amount of patience for each other, and to hear one of them yelling at the other meant something was terribly wrong. 

He shouldn’t have left. 

“I’ll be there soon Hong-binnie,” he said reassuringly, slipping in one of Hak-yeon’s pet names to try and calm the other. It had some effect, the boy’s crying softening enough to whisper an okay. “For now, just make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.” 

“O-okay. Hurry hyung.” 

“I will.” He hung up the phone as he turned to cross the street when he felt a hand pull him back, and he turned furiously to see Saet-byul holding onto his arm. She immediately flinched back when she saw his glare, taking a couple steps back. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked carefully, studying his face. 

“I’m sorry Saet-byul, something came up and I have to go. We’ll have to meet up another time.” He turned back and crossed the street, blinking in surprise when she moved to follow him. “What are you doing?” he demanded, and for once she looked at him confidently. 

“It’s N, isn’t it?” she asked, nearly jogging to keep up with his long strides. “At least let me go with you to make sure he’s okay.” 

“No.” 

“You sounded really worried. It must be something big, right? Let me just check-”

“The last thing either of them need is you. Don’t follow me.” He didn’t have time to feel guilty of the hurt look that crossed her face, instead focusing his attention on getting home as soon as possible. He hailed a taxi, disregarding him barely having enough money for rent let alone something as frivolous as a taxi. He checked his phone constantly, just in case Hong-bin managed to call him again, and jumped when he received a text. He breathed out a small sigh of relief when it was only Saet-byul, his shoulders drooping when all it read was a small, I’m sorry. 

It was another ten minutes before he finally raced up the stairs to his apartment, whipping his keys out and unlocking the door. Almost immediately a body shot out from the hallway, launching into his arms and burying its face in his chest. 

“Taek-woon hyung!” Hong-bin wailed, his nails digging into Taek-woon’s back. 

“It’s alright Hong-bin,” he said soothingly as he pat the other’s head tenderly. “Where is he?” 

“Bedroom,” the younger boy whimpered out, raising his head enough to look at him with tear-filled eyes. “He suddenly got very angry and tried to run away. Bin didn’t know what to do and pushed him into the bedroom. I blocked it with the couch. He’s angry at Bin and Bin got scared. So Bin called Taek-woon hyung-”

“Alright, alright,” he hushed, shutting the front door behind him and pulling Hong-bin close to his side, an arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders. With the both of them quiet, he could hear a loud banging noise coming from the bedroom, and when he stepped into the hallway he could see the couch pushed up against the door. A loud scream followed by another bang against the door rang out, Hong-bin flinching at the sound and pressing even closer to his side. 

Without saying a word, he pushed Hong-bin behind him, walking up carefully until he stood right outside the door. He could hear Hak-yeon crying inside, at this point having tired himself out and only halfheartedly pushing at the door. “Hak-yeon,” he whispered, leaning against the door, reaching over the couch to rest his hand on the doorframe. 

“Taek-woon!” Hak-yeon cried out in revived fervor, pounding on the door again. “Open the door Taek-woon ah!” 

Taek-woon turned to Hong-bin. “Help me move the couch, Hong-bin.” Hong-bin didn’t answer, keeping his scared eyes locked on the door, but eventually moved to the one end of the couch all the same. He wasn’t sure how the younger boy was able to get the couch all the way here on his own, him now barely able to even lift it off the ground. They only managed to move it a few inches away before Hong-bin’s legs gave out under him, falling to the ground in frustrated indignation. 

However, Hak-yeon heard them moving and wasted no time swinging the door open, the door only able to open enough to stick his arm out. He growled as he swat uselessly at the couch, trying to push it.

“Calm down, Hak-yeon,” he said hurriedly, afraid Hak-yeon would end up hurting himself. He shoved the couch away with little effort, lunging himself forward and grabbing Hak-yeon before the older had a chance to escape. 

“Let go of me!” he howled, clawing desperately to get free. “I have to go! Let me go!” 

“Where do you have to go?” He moved his head back when Hak-yeon nearly scratched his face. 

“I have to save her! Taek-woon, she’s in pain. I need to protect her and keep her safe. Please, let me save her!”

He momentarily paused, Hak-yeon still squirming. There was only one ‘she’ that he could be talking about, one that both of them knew, but how did he know about her injuries? He’d only found out because he had met up with her, but Hak-yeon had no knowledge of anything. Suddenly the idea of them having a deeper connection didn’t seem so impossible. He looked down to see the elder still squirming, at this point uselessly pounding his fists against his chest and crying. 

“I have to,” he whimpered pitifully, “I have to.”

“It’s alright, she’s safe. She’s safe, so you don’t need to worry.” 

“No...I know she’s hurting. I can feel her hurting.”

“I promise you, she’s fine. I promise.” He managed to climb up into a sitting position, leaning tiredly against the wall. While Hak-yeon shivered in his lap, Taek-woon looked over to see Hong-bin curled up in a ball by the couch, his hands over his head and his face buried in his knees. He sighed as he rolled his head back until it clunked against the wall. “It’s alright,” he continued to say soothingly, hand running gently through his hair, “everything’s alright.” 

He didn’t know who he was comforting anymore. 

Hello!

I wanted to bring it up now that this story is going to move a lot slower than My Special Doll did, so it will be a while before Hak-yeon, or even Hong-bin, is going to get better. I promise that they will get better, it's just going to take time. I've seen people unsubscribing and writing to me that it's moving too slow, so please know that there is a plot and it will move along eventually! Please don't worry!

I also want to say that I might update more often this month, since I have more free time after my classes finished. But I might update less between June and August as I'll be incredibly busy.

Please look forward to it and thank you again for reading.