This is a double update, make sure to read Chapter 13 before reading this one!

Saet-byul trembled as she stood resolutely next to the lamppost, the yellow glow from the light above dim against the rising morning sun that peaked through the clouds. She gripped her phone tightly between her fingers as she held it to her chest, her eyes darting around for any sign of Taek-woon or N. She let out a shaky breath as she tried to calm her nerves, the crisp, morning air biting through her clothes and chilling her body. But she wouldn’t move; of all days, she would wait until the end of time if she had to.

Today was the first day Taek-woon was going to let her spend time with N on her own.

She could almost squeal in excitement, the idea that N wanted to see her again and that there could be a possibility that things could go back to the way they were filling her with happiness. However, she found that her excitement could only grow so much, the image of Hyuk’s hurt expression and how he ran away from her still fresh in her mind as if it was yesterday.

She had been hesitant about telling Hyuk about N coming back, knowing that the other boy hated N for leaving her the way he did. She couldn't stand the idea of Hyukkie hating N, the idea of anyone hating N, but she couldn't tell him what really happened, why N had really left. He would hate her, be scared of her like Hong-bin or how Taek-woon was now. Hyukkie, while nowhere near how she loved N, was extremely important to her, and she didn't think she could stand it if he was scared of her too.

She glanced down to the phone in her hand, the small flip phone N had bought her so tiny compared to the smart phone Hyuk had given her. Biting her lip, she glanced around for any sign of Taek-woon or N before pulling Hyuk's phone out from her purse, bringing it to her ear and praying that he would answer her call. She whimpered when he didn't answer, the voicemail that at this point she could recite by heart causing her heart to clench.

She decided to send him a quick text to come out and meet with her and N, hoping that she could make it up to him somehow.

She couldn't stand the idea of him avoiding her too.

"Saet-byul." She snapped her head up to see Taek-woon standing in front of her, her eyes immediately darting to the side to see both N and Hong-bin hiding behind him. She couldn't hide her disappointment at seeing Hong-bin, having hoped it would just be her and N, and Taek-woon seemed to notice.

"I'm sorry, I can't leave Hong-bin alone at home. As long as he's with Hak-yeon he's fine, just try not to agitate them."

"I promise," she said immediately. She watched as Taek-woon turned around to the two, his face passive as he fixed their scarves and made sure their hats on their heads were secure. She wasn't sure how she felt to see him babying them like that, wasn't sure how she felt him babying N like that, but she decided not to say anything. The last thing she wanted was for him to take N away. After the umpteenth time of fixing N's scarf, N stopped him, holding his hands tightly.

"Go to class, Taek-woon ah."

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Taek-woon asked, and she pouted slightly at the indication he wasn't comfortable leaving them with her. "If you want, I still have time to take you back-"

"We'll be fine. Go or you'll be late."

Taek-woon hesitated, his fingers hovering over N's before slowly pulling away, brushing Hong-bin's fringe one last time and telling him to be good and listen to N. Hong-bin promised sullenly, his eyes glued to her the entire time. "If you need anything, or anything happens, call me right away, do you understand?"

"Yes," she promised again, hiding her agitation, and it seemed enough for Taek-woon. He bid them all another goodbye before he finally managed to leave, though not without sending them all continuous glances until he was out of sight.

She brightened when N turned back around to look at her, his face puffed out from the tight scarf wrapped around his neck and his hat pulled down just above his eyes. She reached out and took his hands, his gloves coarse against her bare hands, and she heard a squeak next to her. Hong-bin quickly shoved her away as he pulled N towards himself, glaring harshly.

"Don't touch!"

Before she had a chance to say anything, N put a hand on Hong-bin's and slowly pushed them away. "Binnie," he said softly, brushing his cheeks when Hong-bin sent him a hurt, betrayed look, "I need to do this. Please believe hyung." Hong-bin whimpered, looking close to crying, when N kissed his forehead.

Her hand around her phone tightened, her breathing heavier as she held herself back, her fingers shaking.

N could only kiss her.

"Don't cry, little Binnie," he cooed, brushing away his tears with a smile. "Crying hurts hyung too." At that Hong-bin hurriedly wiped away his tears, sniffling loudly. "That's a good boy. Just let hyung do this, and I'll reward you later, okay?" After a few more minutes of the two whispering things that she couldn't hear, Hong-bin eventually moved behind N, refusing to look at either of them as N stoically put his hands in hers.

"Where would you like to go?" he asked. She felt the initial rush of excitement at his question, the sweet question reminiscent of the way things used to be. But...but...it all felt wrong. There was nothing behind his voice, nothing in his eyes, nothing that showed he was here beyond pure obligation. She didn't like it. She stared into his eyes, searching for some hint that this was her N, swallowing heavily when she saw nothing.

"I-I want to wait for a minute," she said quickly, hiding her discomfort behind a large smile. She was finally with her beautiful N, she wasn't going to waste it by being sad. N sent her a slightly confused look, his fingers twitching in her hand, and she gave him a reassuring laugh. "Hyukkie...I invited Hyukkie to come with us. I want to wait for him."

A ghost of a smile grew on N's lips, an almost bittersweet expression crossing his features. "Is little Hyukkie joining us?"

"I hope he is," she said sincerely, hoping she would be able to finally clear the misunderstanding between them. She fervently wished for everything to go back to normal before her mother ruined everything. She wished desperately. "Though you should see him now. He's really tall." N didn't say anything, just staring without really looking at her, and her smile faltered.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, doing anything to get N to speak again. He was so quiet, just staring, and it was starting to worry her.

"We ate," Hong-bin snapped, making a face at her before quickly hiding when N turned to look at him.

"T-then, do you want to watch a movie? I'm not really sure what's playing..." she trailed off when Hong-bin tugged on N's sleeve, watching their interactions with pursed lips and a furrowed brow.

"Hyung, what's a movie?"  N smiled as he cupped Hong-bin's face, his response too quiet for her to hear. She couldn't help the jealousy that rushed through her, wanting more than ever to shove Hong-bin away from him and take N far away, to hide him away so no one else could see him. N was her doll, he should only be touching and looking at her like that. She didn't really know much about Hong-bin, or his relationship with N, but she would never approve how much they touched each other. That was for her alone. Even before, N had never touched or spoke to her the way he did now, and it made her furious.

But before she was able to say or do anything, a familiar voice called out.

"Little star!" Hong-bin and N both jumped at the shrill voice, though she turned with a wide smile at the surprising sight of both Jae-hwan and Won-shik approaching them.

“Jae-hwan? What are you doing here?” She initially flinched when Jae-hwan wrapped his arms around her in a hug, though she held her breath as she forced herself to stay still. She could feel N’s eyes on her, and she wanted to make sure he saw how she changed. Jae-hwan was surprised she didn’t move away, though he didn’t say anything. She shifted in his hug enough to look at Won-shik, her smile waning slightly. “When did you get back?”

“Wonnie came back last week,” Jae-hwan announced, clapping the other boy on the back loudly with a laugh. “America must have been amazing, he’s been moping around all week.”

“Shut up hyung!” Won-shik hissed, nudging Jae-hwan sharply in the side before coughing, sending her a small wave. “Hi Saet-byul.”

She waved back carefully and Jae-hwan finally let go. “So what did you need, little star?”

“Need? I didn’t need anything. I was actually wondering why you were here-"

“Really?” Jae-hwan fished out his phone, flashing her the screen to show his text messages. Her heart sank. “Sang-hyukkie said you needed something and asked me to come see you.” He paused for a second before his face grew serious, his voice lower. “Did you guys fight?”

“Hyukkie…” she said slowly, reading over the texts carefully, seeing with her own eyes Hyuk avoiding her and saying he didn’t want to see her. She felt her chest tighten, swallowing heavily. “Did...he really not want to see me?”

“The kid’s an idiot when it comes to you, but you must have done something really bad if he’s hiding. Did you reject him? Cause if you did-” Jae-hwan stopped mid-sentence when something hard clamped down on his arm, and he squealed as he whirled around to see N’s face inches from his own, a deep, furious scowl on the latter’s face. Won-shik swore loudly as he tugged Jae-hwan out of harm’s way, the both of them staggering back and sending her fearful looks. She ignored them as she held N back, reassuring him that everything was fine and to calm down. It was a tense few seconds before N finally stilled, them all blinking in shock at how quickly all the rage from earlier vanished completely, the blank look he had from before back on his face.

”S-Saet-byul-”

She bit her lip, preparing herself before turning around. “I had meant to tell Hyukkie first...but...this is N. Do you remember?” They both leaned in to get a better look, eyes squinting as they tried to look past N’s gaunt face and lifeless eyes. When it looked like they couldn’t recognize him, she reached up and pushed his bangs away, both immediately squealing again.

“Holy ,”  Won-shik cried out, “it really is him!”

Jae-hwan was less thrilled, taking her arm and pulling her behind him, his eyes narrowing as he glared at N. N immediately stepped forward, eyes flashing as he tried to grab her back. Jae-hwan attempted to push him away, arm reaching out to shove him when N’s hand shot right out, twisting Jae-hwan’s arm behind his back and shoving him to the ground. He moved toward him, malicious intent deep in his eyes, and she shot out and pulled him back, crying his name.

“Stop N! Don’t hurt him!”

“What the hell is wrong with him?” Won-shik demanded, helping Jae-hwan up and making sure there was a good distance between them.

“Please don’t misunderstand,” she cried, hugging N around the waist protectively, half because she didn’t want him going after them again and half because she wanted to protect him. N couldn’t protect himself at the moment, so she would. “He thought you were going to hurt me.” She turned to N, shaking him until he looked down at her, confusion in his eyes. “This is Jae-hwan and Won-shik. You remember Won-shik, right? They’re my friends, please don’t hurt them. Please.”

He stared at her as if it was taking him time to process what she said; he slowly looked up at the cowering boys and blinked, a slow minute passing by before his eyes widened and he let out a breath in surprise. “Won-shik...that was your terrible tutor, right?”

“Yes!” she shouted hurriedly, ignoring Won-shik’s angry shout behind them. “He’s not my tutor anymore but he and Jae-hwan are my friends. They’re nice, they won’t hurt me.”

N didn't move, just staring at Won-shik as if he was a bug until a small "hyung," whimpered behind them. It was amazing how irrelevant she became at that moment, N pushing her away in favor of wrapping a comforting arm around Hong-bin's shoulders, whispering soothing words again that only managed to make her blood boil. She turned away, unable to keep watching, and the other two slowly crept over towards her, feeling safe enough to move towards her.

"Saet-byul..." Jae-hwan started, swallowing heavily as he kept his eyes on the two. "Is that really...is that really him?"

She nodded, eyes focused intently on her shoes. "Taek-woon oppa said...he said he became like that after a while. It's the only reason he let me see him."

Jae-hwan watched them closely, taking a deep breath before whispering, “Is it really bad?” They watched as eventually Hong-bin stilled enough that N pulled away, the two of them turning towards them and staring in that way that terrified her. She could feel Jae-hwan and Won-shik stiffen behind her, so she quickly moved to break the stifling silence.

“D-do you still want to go to the movies N? I’m sure we could find something to watch.”

Making a very conscious effort not to touch her, Jae-hwan leaned forward, eyes never leaving N, “Do you want us to come with you?”

No, she really only wanted N, and maybe Hyuk if he had come along. She didn’t want either of them there, and she especially didn’t want Hong-bin there. Though, she sent them a small glance, if she could get them to somehow distract Hong-bin, she would have N all to herself. She turned toward Jae-hwan with a wide smile, nodding her head. “Yes, why don’t you come with us? You could help us choose a movie.”

N let himself be dragged down the street as they headed to the movie theater, them all in a line; her holding N’s one hand in the front with Hong-bin trailing behind while holding the other. Jae-hwan and Won-shik led the way, whispering quietly to each other as they glanced back at them every so often, frowns marring their faces. She knew she didn't explain things well to them, and they probably had a million questions. She looked down to N's hand in hers, his fingers hanging loosely between hers, his skin hard.

She didn't care if they were left in the dark.

The only thing that mattered was bringing her N back to her side.

She glanced back to see Hong-bin waddling behind, his eyes firmly locked on his hands gripping tightly onto N's.

And somehow getting rid of Hong-bin.

They decided on a light children's movie, N finally speaking as he said that Hong-bin couldn't watch anything scary or loud. She didn't mind, grabbing N's hand and yanking him to her side and away from Hong-bin. "N and I will buy the tickets and food," she said hurriedly, "so you guys can wait here."

Hong-bin's eyes widened at the sight of her taking N away; he lunged forward and pulled N back, holding onto him desperately. "Hyung," he cried out pitifully, "don't leave me."

Won-shik winced next to her, running a hand through his hair. "Hey, just go by yourself. I don't think it's a good idea to separate them."

"No," she insisted, pushing Hong-bin off and stepping back. "Stay with Jae-hwan and Won-shik, they'll take care of you while we're gone." She ignored Hong-bin's stifled cries as she dragged N away, wincing when she looked up to see N's disapproving glare on her.

"Don't be jealous Saet-byul," he said quietly, his gaze never wavering as she awkwardly paid for the tickets. "There was no reason to be so harsh on Hong-bin."

"But you're my doll," she blurted out, unable to lie in front of N. "I don't like how much you touch him. You never did that with me."

"Hong-bin is different," he continued as they got in line for the snacks, and as he looked at her like that she found she suddenly wasn't as hungry. "I may be your doll, but the circumstances are different. We're no longer under your mother, and I am living contently with Taek-woon and Hong-bin. I will care for you, and make sure you are safe, but I am no longer under any obligation to do any more."

dropped with each word he calmly whispered, her whole body growing colder with each harsh word that fell from his lips. This...this was not how she wanted their reunion to be. She had spent numerous nights imagining N coming back to her, smiling his dazzling smile as he crushed her in his arms, taking her away and living together like they used to. She had dreamt of his warm arms wrapped around her as they slept together like they used to, only sweet words whispered into her ear as he nuzzled into her hair. She had even imagined him kissing her. There was never supposed to be a Hong-bin, and there definitely wasn't supposed to be him standing here telling her that he wanted to continue staying away.

He took the popcorn that she was too stunned to take, leading her back to the others while she meekly followed behind. They didn't get far before N suddenly stopped, her barely noticing in time to avoid running into his back. She peeked around his back to see what he was staring at, following his eyes to see Jae-hwan, Won-shik, and Hong-bin huddled in a hidden corner of the lobby, the three playing what looked like a hand-slapping game. Hong-bin's face scrunched up after Won-shik hit his hands, looking near tears.

N shoved the food into her hands as he quickly ran over to their side, hovering dangerously as he looked to Hong-bin. "Binnie-"

Hong-bin's head snapped up at the sound of his voice, a relieved smile growing on his face as he launched on N in a hug. N blinked before sending the two a glare, though he didn't have a chance to do anything when Hong-bin tugged on his front. "Hak-yeon hyung," he whispered, the smile still on his lips, "hyung taught Bin a game. They said you would play with Bin. Play?"

N ignored his question as he scanned his face. "They didn't hurt you?"

The younger boy shook his head. ”They didn’t touch Bin. Only touched my hands.” N’s face relaxed as he let out a shaky breath, releasing his tight hold around Hong-bin’s waist. He gave Hong-bin a quick promise to play later before they all headed to the theater.

They got looks as they stepped inside, the seats filled with children and their parents who all stared at them as they sat in the back. She watched as N led Hong-bin towards a seat, helping him sit down, and she shot out to make sure she sat between the two of them. Hong-bin let out a chortled cry at the sight of her, attempting to get up only to fall back in his seat when Jae-hwan and Won-shik obliviously scooted by to sit down. She flinched when she felt a hand tighten around hers, and she turned slightly to see N frowning at her. She whimpered, not about to move, forcing her chin up to silently motion that she wanted to stay. He didn’t say anything, just leaning back into his seat, frown still in place.

She heard a small giggle next to her and looked over to see Jae-hwan helping Hong-bin put on a pair of 3D glasses, the latter laughing at one of the faces Jae-hwan made. The movie wasn’t 3D, and she didn’t know where he managed to find the glasses, but she was thankful he was able to somehow distract him.

As the movie played, she slowly leaned her head onto N’s shoulder, waiting before taking her hand in his and waiting even longer before hugging his arm completely. N didn’t move, letting her do as she wished, and for a moment in the darkness of the theater she was able to pretend that everything was as it used to be. At some point he wrapped his other arm over her, and she felt herself fall asleep. He was so warm.

He was always warm.

It was only when she felt something nudging her that she woke from her slumber, blinking rapidly in the bright lights to see people leaving, Hong-bin’s face hovering extremely close as he continuously shoved her. She tried shifting, wincing when she realized the entire side of her face was numb from leaning onto N’s shoulder, her arms asleep from the position she laid in. She struggled untangling herself from N who sat completely still as she did so, and Hong-bin didn’t waste any time latching onto N. She glared as the two hugged, feeling unwanted.

She glanced over to Jae-hwan and Won-shik, the former excitedly retelling the movie to Won-shik who had also fallen asleep, the latter’s unimpressed face showing how much he actually cared. She heard N shift behind her and watched as he took out his phone, a smile on his lips.

“Taek-woon is here.”

“Taek-woon hyung?” Hong-bin asked excitedly, moving to get a glimpse of the phone. “I want to see Taek-woon hyung.”

“Already?” she asked worriedly. It was too short. She didn’t even get to do anything with him. She shouldn’t have picked a movie. The smile still on his face, N reached over and ruffled her hair in that infuriatingly similar way he used to. It made her fill with longing.

“Taek-woonie only has one class today. Don’t worry, next time we can stay longer.”

“Promise?” she whimpered, and he nodded.

That made her feel a little better.

Hong-bin brightened considerably when they stepped out of the dark theater to see Taek-woon waiting for them, breaking away from N to jump in his arms with a loud “Taek-woon hyung!”. While the two of them were distracted, N came over and took her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were soft, his face a little less stiff than before as he cupped her cheeks in the way she saw him do to Hong-bin earlier.

“Don’t be jealous of Hong-bin,” he said, his thumbs dusting her eyelids. “Hong-bin doesn’t understand a lot of things; you should try and understand him.”

“I...I will.“

He squished her cheeks together, shaking her face. “Besides, he’s my little Binnie while you’re my Byullie. Despite what I may say, you’ll always be my Byullie.” He gave her face one last squeeze before moving back to Taek-woon, his hand immediately taking Taek-woon’s in his own.

“They were alright?” Taek-woon asked, eyes darting from her to Jae-hwan and Won-shik behind her. His brow crinkled slightly but he didn't question anything.

“Yes,” she said softly, her mind still whirling from N’s words before. She didn’t know how much she missed just that nickname. Her heart fluttered, hammering hard against her chest. Taek-woon nodded contently, squeezing N’s hand.

“If they’re alright with it, I’ll see when the next time I’ll bring them out is.” True to his nature, Taek-woon didn’t say anything else as he led them out, and she felt her feet glued to the floor as she merely waved back. She sniffled, staring at the door until they were no longer visible through the glass. She was still lost in her thoughts when Jae-hwan lazily put his arms on Won-shik's shoulders, head resting in the crook of his neck, clicking his tongue.

“How did that scary guy manage to find someone even scarier than him?”

"Hey, hey, calm down," Jae-hwan soothed when Hong-bin started crying as he watched Saet-byul lead Hak-yeon away, hesitating before laying a comforing hand on the other's shoulder. Hong-bin jumped at the touch, his eyes wide and scared as his red locks dangled in his face, and Jae-hwan hissed beratedly at himself. "Hey, they're going to come back, okay? Hak-yeon's going to come back, promise." 

Hong-bin's lower lip quivered as he looked back towards Hak-yeon, his breathing calming slightly as his brows furrowed confusedly, looking as if he was trying his hardest to understand. "Hak-yeon hyung...hyung will come back?"

"Of course, right Wonnie?" he asked hurriedly, slapping Won-shik's chest when he noticed the younger staring off into space. He made a face at Won-shik before glancing pointedly at Hong-bin with his eyes, smiling as he repeated his question. 

"O-oh, yeah, of course," Won-shik mumbled, and Jae-hwan grinned wider as he slapped Won-shik hard on the back, the younger coughing and sending him an angry glare. 

"See? Wonnie here never lies, so he'll come back. Until then, you get to hang out with us!" Hong-bin flinched at his shout, looking back at Hak-yeon and starting to cry again, his hands starting to pick at the zipper of his jacket. "Hey, it's okay. We won't hurt you-" He reached out to stop him before he hurt himself and Hong-bin panicked, backing away and running straight into a man who snapped annoyingly at him. Hong-bin stumbled back in fear, bumping into more people and growing more worked up until he was crying loudly, tears running down his cheeks. Jae-hwan broke into panic mode, flying over and pulling Hong-bin close to his chest and taking him to a secluded corner of the theater, turning around so Hong-bin wouldn't be able to see anyone else. 

"Hey," he said softly, pushing Hong-bin's hair from his eyes to see him trembling, his eyes still wide in fear as his hands trembled against Jae-hwan's chest. "Hey there, it's okay. Everything's okay."

"Hyung...I-I want...want Hak-yeon hyung." Hong-bin's voice was shaking, and despite being scared out of his mind, his fingers gripped onto Jae-hwan tightly as if afraid to let go. "Home...want to go home. Home...scared....hyung, I'm scared..."

"Shh, it's okay. Jae-hwan hyung here will keep you safe until your hyung comes back, okay? And Won-shik hyung here will fight any big bad guys who come to try and hurt you." Hong-bin's trembling calmed slightly, his wide eyes glancing to Won-shik, pressing closer to Jae-hwan when Won-shik nodded reassuringly. "See? No scary guys can touch you when you're with us." He tried to pull away but Hong-bin's hands shot out and wrapped tightly around his waist, holding him still. He pressed his face firm against Jae-hwan, his breath warm and coming out in short bursts. As Jae-hwan pat Hong-bin's head comfortingly, he looked over at Won-shik and mouthed at him to do something. Won-shik's face twisted in horror before he looked down at Hong-bin's shaking form, scratching the back of his head before clearing his throat. 

"H-hey...do you, uh, wanna play a game while we wait?" 

Hong-bin peeked out at him at that and Jae-hwan's face lit up, pushing Hong-bin's hair away so he could look at the other's eyes. "A game would be fun, you could teach it to Hak-yeon later. How does that sound?"

Hong-bin slowly pulled away, his arms still tight around Jae-hwan's waist. "Play...with Hak-yeon hyung? Play?"

"Yeah! I'm sure he would love if you taught him, how about it?" An embarrassed smile grew on the younger's lips as he nodded, just the idea of doing anything for the other bringing a flushed red to his cheeks. Jae-hwan gently peeled Hong-bin's arms off of him as he held his hands up, shaking them until Hong-bin looked at them. "Make sure to pay extra attention so that you know all the rules. You want to make sure you teach it right to Hak-yeon later, right?" Hong-bin stared at their hands in arrested fascination, his eyes following every movement. Jae-hwan wasn't sure the other was really listening, but it was enough to keep him from crying until they came back.