*This chapter happens during the events of last chapter, when Taek-woon and Sang-hyuk met

"Come on Hong-bin," Hak-yeon urged sweetly, rubbing circles in Hong-bin's back as he helped him take his first step out of the apartment. Hak-yeon hadn't been sure how cold or warm it was outside so he bundled them up just in case, the two of them more prone to the cold due to their thin bodies. Hong-bin clung onto him, fear written all over his face as he took another step despite every part of him screaming to run back inside. Hak-yeon gave him a kiss on the head and that was enough motivation, Hong-bin finally stepping out enough for Hak-yeon to close the door behind him. "Good job," he praised, and Binnie beamed.  

Hak-yeon had never felt so free, the shackles that had been pressing so heavily onto his body lifting little by little every day. Every day he woke up with a little more mobility, his mind clearing so he was able to think beyond running and hiding. He was elated, having long since resigned himself to being chained to his body as little more than a doll; he was ecstatic to be returning to normal. But more than that, more than anything, he was excited to finally be able to help Taek-woon, to repay him for all the kindness and patience he had given him.  

His little Taek-woonie had been taking such good care of him, and now it was his turn to take care of him.  

He glanced down at the shopping list in his hand before stuffing it in his pocket, linking his arm with Hong-bin's. "We're going to do some shopping for Taek-woonie," he said as he pat the other's hand reassuringly, Hong-bin sending worried glances in every direction as he clung onto Hak-yeon's arm. "Taek-woon will be so proud of you for doing something so big," he added, and that got Hong-bin's attention again, the other's fidgeting pausing as his lip trembled.  

"Taek-woon hyung will like it?" 

"Of course! I'm sure he'll give you a big hug and thank you when he sees it."  

A ghost of a smile grew on Hong-bin's lips, shaking his head as he scrunched his face up playfully. "Taek-woon hyung doesn't like hugs. He wouldn't hug Bin. Bin doesn't want!"  

"You know you do," he snickered, poking Hong-bin in the side and causing the other to break into a fit of giggles. "I bet you secretly like hugging him more than me. I've seen you all over him.” Hong-bin opened his mouth to protest when the supermarket came into view, all traces of mirth vanishing as he clung tightly onto Hak-yeon's arm again. Hak-yeon was quick to comfort him while struggling to hide his own anxiety, not having stepped out into something so crowded on his own in years. He had always had Taek-woon to do things for him, to allow him to cowardly hide away. 

Hak-yeon was ready to step out and be his own man again, to no longer rely on anyone again.  

“It's okay Binnie," he soothed, swallowing away his own fears as he took small steps inside. He was very aware of every brush and touch from people passing by, every one of their voices loud and ringing in his ears. His hold on Hong-bin's hand tightened, taking deep breaths as he shakily grabbed a basket. "Binnie," he said, rambling to keep his mind off how the guy next to him stepped on his foot in an attempt to grab a basket, "why don't you hold this? Can you do that for hyung?" 

While he was managing to keep his anxiety controlled, Hong-bin was a ball of nerves, trembling and crying every time someone touched him. Hak-yeon needed to keep him distracted.  

"Here, hold it like this." He forced one of Hong-bin's hands off of his arm, placing it on the basket handle. "There, just like that. Good Binnie." Hong-bin's one hand on Hak-yeon's arm tightened, shaking so badly that Hak-yeon felt his whole arm start to shake. "It's alright Binnie, I'm right here. Remember hyung is right here." 

"Taek-woon hyung..." Hong-bin whimpered, his eyes locked ahead at the crowded supermarket, "Taek-woon hyung will be proud of Bin?" 

"He will be very proud," Hak-yeon reassured, and Hong-bin's shaking stopped.  

"Okay..." he whispered, pressing himself close to Hak-yeon as they both slowly stepped inside. He immediately headed towards the fresh vegetables, that area far less crowded than others, his clammy hand reaching into his pocket for the shopping list. They made their way over to the back of the stands, each clinging desperately onto to each other, when a man shoved past Hong-bin, effectively ripping him away from Hak-yeon. 

He panicked.  

"H-Hak-yeon hyung!" he cried out, scrambling over and lunging onto Hak-yeon, people in the vicinity all turning to stare at them. Hak-yeon paid them no attention as he soothed Hong-bin the best he could, running his hand over his cheek tenderly. "Hak-yeon hyung...Hak-yeon h-hyung..." 

"Hyung is here," he soothed, pulling him away from everyone. "Here, we'll stay back here until-" 

"Cha Hak-yeon?" They both nearly jumped out of their skins at the new voice, Hak-yeon whirling around to stare at a high-schooler. He frowned, wondering how someone as young as this boy was able to know him without any sort of violent reaction following. He was sure he didn't know this boy, his body seemed sure he didn't know this boy, and yet the boy was staring at him with such a wide, bright smile that he felt like he should know him. He could feel Hong-bin press himself into his back and he coughed.  

"Do...do I know you?" 

"You're Cha Hak-yeon, right?" the boy asked, barreling ahead as he stepped forward. Both he and Hong-bin stuttered a few steps back at his advance and the boy took note, hesitating. "...right?" 

"I-I'm Cha Hak-yeon,“ he stammered, his heart hammering as he felt his skin grow damp with sweat. This wasn't supposed to happen- this was supposed to be a quick trip to the supermarket for Taek-woon. He wasn't supposed to meet anyone. He wanted to run home, to hide away- 

No, he was getting better. He wasn't going to hide anymore.  

"I'm Cha Hak-yeon, who are you?" 

The boy's bright smile returned, his eyes crinkling happily. "I knew it was you! I heard someone say your name and knew right away." 

Hak-yeon pursed his lips. "Who are you?" 

"Ah," the boy's cheeks flushed, "my name's Jeon Jung-kook." He paused, as if waiting to see if Hak-yeon remembered and deflating when it was clear he didn't. "I was friends with Seok-jin hyung."  

Hak-yeon didn't realize his legs had given out from under him until he blinked to see the high schooler's face right in front of him, both his and Hong-bin's hands holding him tight. Jung-kook looked terrified as he helped him stand up, worry clear on his face as he held his hands up.  

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you or anything." 

"That..." Hak-yeon felt his mouth was incredibly dry, his body shaking as he stared at the boy. He...he was Seok-jin's...he was Seok-jin's friend... His baby brother who he missed terribly each and every day; this boy was his baby brother's friend. He felt Hong-bin shift beside him, peeking around him.  

"Seok-jin?" Hong-bin asked sheepishly. Jung-kook looked surprised that he spoke before nodding, a hint of a smile on his lips.  

"Yeah. I used to hang out with Seok-jin hyung and the others a lot. I visited his house once or twice, but I guess you wouldn't remember that...hyung would hide me from you." 

"Others...?" Hak-yeon whispered, suddenly remembering clear as day the gang that Seok-jin hung out with running up to him, screaming that Seok-jin had entered the creepy house at the end of the street and hadn't come out. He remembered that it was because of them that Seok-jin always got in fights, always came home late, worried their mother, worried their family, sent him in that house- they were the reason Seok-jin had been turned into a doll. He shoved Hong-bin behind him as he stood at his full height, watching as Jung-kook immediately shrunk back.  

"You...it was all your fault. It was all because of you. If Seok-jin had just stayed away like I told him to, if he had just listened to me-" 

"W-what's my fault? I don't understand-" 

"It's your fault he died!"  

Jung-kook's mouth dropped as Hong-bin let out a sob next to him, tears already blurring Hak-yeon's eyes. He let out a shaky breath, suddenly exhausted, when Jung-kook's face hardened as he reached forward and grabbed Hak-yeon's wrist in a vice-like grip, dragging him away. Hong-bin yelped but only followed, too afraid to do anything as they quickly left the supermarket. They stopped when they came by a small park, Jung-kook throwing his arm away as he turned to glare at him.

There were tears in his eyes.

"What do you mean..." he whispered, looking as if every word hurt him, "what do you mean hyung is dead?"

"Seok-jin," Hak-yeon hissed back, feeling Hong-bin's hold on his hand tightening until it went numb, "died in that house. Because of your dare, Seok-jin was kidnapped and killed. Because of you...I...I..." He felt his chest tightening, every fiber of his being screaming at him to run away, to escape. He was barely aware of Hong-bin holding him, of Jung-kook's own tears as he heaved painfully. The raw memories of Seok-jin holding onto his hand, him promising his baby brother that everything will be okay were seared in his mind, he had never been able to forget; it had been his fault.

It had all been his fault.

No matter how much he blamed others, pointed fingers and cried, he will always have been the one that killed Seok-jin.

Jung-kook, the smart child, seemed to realize he wasn't actually blaming him, wiping his tears fiercely as met his gaze. "We...we had always been worried about what happened to Seok-jin hyung. No one ever told us what happened to him."

"He died," Hak-yeon croaked. "He died years ago."

"That dare," Jung-kook's voice was just as unsteady as Hak-yeon's, sniffling noisily, "wasn't meant to be anything. We were just- just playing. We knew Seok-jin hyung was scared of ghosts, so we dared him to go in. W-we didn't think he'd actually go in..." Jung-kook slowly wrapped his arms around himself, face scrunching up as if in an attempt to not cry, and Hak-yeon found himself pulling the younger into a tight hug. It didn't take long for the boy to fall against him, his tears wetting the front of Hak-yeon's jacket.

"We didn't come find you at first because Seok-jin hyung would have been mad," Jung-kook continued, refusing to look at him. "But when he didn't come out we got scared and went to find you. B-but then you went missing, and no one ever said anything and..." his voice trailed off as it dissolved into sobs, and Hak-yeon silently began to run his hand through his hair to calm him down.

This child...he didn't need to know about the dolls. He didn't need to know that Seok-jin had been locked in the basement against his will, attached to a doll that ultimately killed him. He didn't need to know what their harmless prank had caused, what it had brought on. He could already see, could feel, the pain radiating off the other. "I moved to Seoul after I was set free," he said gently, continuing to pat his head, "because I couldn't go home. Seok-jinnie...I blamed you and your gang for what happened to him and didn't even think of telling you. I'm sorry."

"We weren't really a gang," Jung-kook said quietly as they sat down under a tree, disregarding that the thawing snow was soaking their clothes. Hong-bin clung onto Hak-yeon's arm as Jung-kook spoke, finding great interest in the boy who claimed to have been close to Seok-jin. "We were just really close friends. Seok-jin and Nam-joon hyung were best friends, and they took care of us almost like family." Jung-kook grabbed a stick and started to trace patterns into the snow, sniffling.

"We never really liked fighting. There were some of us who came from bad families, and hyung fought to help them. Once, when I got beaten up by my cousin, Seok-jin hyung and the others all came to save me, and beat my cousin so bad he hasn't touched me since." There was a wistful smile on the boy's face, his eyes full of melancholy. "Seok-jin hyung would always protect me."

"Did," Hak-yeon's voice cracked, his fingers shaking, "did Seok-jinnie...with the others...?"

Jung-kook nodded. "We were like a family and all took care of each other. Tae-hyung hyung and I were bullied in school, and Seok-jin hyung would always come to beat them up." He paused, twirling the stick between his fingers sadly. "Seok-jin hyung was always ready to fight if one of us got hurt. It's why..." His eyes widened as he quickly clamped his mouth shut, and Hak-yeon found himself floundering for him to continue, desperate to hear the side of his baby brother that he never heard. Seok-jin had always kept this side of himself hidden from Hak-yeon and their mother, refused to tell either of them what he did outside of the house.

Hak-yeon felt a surge of jealousy run through him; this boy was able to see the side that Hak-yeon had only dreamed Seok-jin would show him.

"Why what?" he snapped, a little harsher than he had meant to, though Jung-kook didn't seem to notice, his eyes trailing down.

"It's why hyung hated you so much." Hak-yeon felt like a bucket of cold ice had been dumped on him, his whole body chilling to the core. He...he had always had a feeling that Seok-jin had hated him to a degree, knew from how Seok-jin would avoid him or flat out announce how much disdain he held for him. But he never would have thought it would have been like that, for Jung-kook to easily tell him without so much as a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Jung-kook winced after glancing at his face. "I didn't mean it like that. Seok-jin hyung always said he hated you, but none of us really believed him. He...always talked about you." 

"...did he?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jung-kook nodded. "We always joked that we knew more about you than we did ourselves. He always complained about you. He complained about how you nagged too much, or tried following him, or lectured him about how to be a better son."  Hak-yeon scratched the back of his head as he remembered doing all that and more, remembering how he had tried desperately to get his brother to stay safe at home. Jung-kook smiled at him, poking him with the stick. "Even though he talked bad about you all the time, no one was ever allowed to say anything about you. One guy insulted you once and we had to drag Seok-jin hyung off before he killed him."

"H-he...Seok-jinnie did that?"

"Seok-jin hyung wasn't actually a good fighter, most of the time he would jump in there and we would have to help him out. Nam-joon hyung would always get angry at him for trying to fight when he only ended up getting beat up. But then Seok-jin hyung would get angry at him for yelling, so then Nam-joon hyung would treat us all to dinner to make him feel better." Hak-yeon watched how Jung-kook's face lit up as he retold the story, saw how happy the memory made him, swallowing heavily.

"Most of the time we did stupid things like playing in abandoned buildings or hang out around the ice-cream parlor. Seok-jin hyung liked ice-cream."

"Where were you last night? Don't tell me you were hanging out with those good-for-nothings again?"

" off hyung. I can hang out with whoever I want."

"We mostly got our reputation because Yoon-gi hyung would bring a bat to our fights. He would always end it, so we became known as hard fighters."

"Seok-jin ah, will you stop getting into fights? Don't you realize how much Mom is worried about you? Stop hanging out with them!"

"Seok-jin hyung liked cooking, when he was in a good mood he would cook us food. No one ever made me food at home, so I always loved Seok-jin hyung's cooking."

"Are you stealing food from the fridge? What's happening to you Seok-jin? Don't you realize what they're doing to you? What they're turning you into?"

Jung-kook's smile turned bittersweet. "Nam-joon hyung feels terrible cause he was the one that dared Seok-jin hyung to go in the haunted house. He's been waiting the most, though I guess...I guess I should..."

"I'm sorry," Hak-yeon gasped, his hands trembling. "It's...it's not your fault. It's mine."

Jung-kook quickly shook his head as he shifted, hands shooting out to reassure him but pulling back at the last second. That hesitation was too much for Hak-yeon, he scrambled away as he cradled his head in his hands, his whole body shaking. He could hear Hong-bin saying something to him but at this point he could nothing over his own cries, the images of Seok-jin burning to death refusing to leave his eyes.

Seok-jin had been loved; this boy here had obviously loved his brother and Seok-jin had loved them back. Hak-yeon had single-handedly ripped away Seok-jin from these boys, had blamed them for the pain that he alone had caused. They had been suffering from guilt that was not theirs to bear, guilt that he had shoved onto them.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm sorry for blaming you. It was mine, all my fault. I-"

"Stop it," Jung-kook cried, shaking his head. "We heard about what happened, we were there when that woman was arrested. We didn't- didn't know that hyung died, but we heard about what kind of things she did there. She's the monster, she's the one who killed hyung and did those things. You didn't do anything."

No, he didn't know. She hadn't even been in the same room. It was the one thing she had been falsely accused of; he and Saet-byul had been the ones to take the doll apart. He had been the one to tell Saet-byul yes, she wouldn't have done it if he didn't say yes. Hong-bin repeated Jung-kook's words as he hugged him, and Hak-yeon shuddered. His Binnie didn't know either, didn't know who was the one who had taken Seok-jin away.

It had been him and him alone.

"None of us would blame you," Jung-kook continued. "You went through all of that just for hyung. Seok-jin hyung wouldn't blame you either, he knew how much you loved him. We all did."

"You sweet child," Hak-yeon whispered, reaching out and holding the hand Jung-kook offered to him. He took a deep breath, steadying himself before sending the other a shaky smile. "You...how are you and the others? Did you move away?"

Jung-kook's eyes never left their hands. "Everyone graduated, though I'm still in high school. Nam-joon hyung moved to Seoul, to get away from...er, he moved to Seoul a couple years ago. I was visiting him when I heard someone call your name. I recognized your name, any of us would, and...here you are."

"Do you all...do you all still see each other?" He felt a new wave of tears flood his eyes at the hesitant look on the other's face. He couldn't imagine what Seok-jin would think if his friends stopped seeing each other out of guilt, and he couldn't imagine what Seok-jin would think of him that he allowed them to have that guilt in the first place.  

"We try and see each other from time to time, but after Nam-joon hyung moved away, we had a hard time getting together. Seok-jin hyung had always been the one to get us together, and when he was gone..." 

"You should still see each other," he gasped, pleading. "Seok-jin wouldn't want you to stop seeing each other just because of him. Please." 

"Nam-joon hyung will be so hurt," Jung-kook whimpered. "I'm not sure if it would be good to tell him. I'm...I'm afraid at what hyung would do." 

"You should stay together. You have no idea what seeing people who understand your pain will do. There would be no better comfort." At that, Hong-bin snuggled closer to him, and Hak-yeon kissed his head. Jung-kook watched them sadly, his fingers bunching up his school blazer absentmindedly before he asked quietly, 

"Where is hyung now? I think...I think we would want to visit him." 

Hak-yeon's heart sank. "They were never able to find him after..." after he burned to death, "so they weren't able to give him a proper burial. But I was told they put a memorial for him outside the house. I've...never been able to see it myself. You should go, though. All of you. He would like it." Jung-kook nodded, a forced smile on his lips as he glanced down at his watch and jumped to his feet.  

"I was on my way to grab some groceries for Nam-joon hyung, he's not very good about making sure to eat. It...it was nice meeting you, Cha Hak-yeon." Hak-yeon smiled, his eyes roving over the younger boy's face as he committed to memory the boy that his younger brother had so deeply cared for. Jeon Jung-kook; he wouldn't forget him. "I'll make sure to visit Seok-jin hyung...and I'll try and bring the others. Will you go?" 

He inhaled sharply as the other's words pierced his heart, his lip trembling as he tried to keep a straight face. "I don't think I could ever go back. Not to where..." he trailed off, his heart racing. "Please visit him for me."  

"I will."  

It wasn't until a good hour had passed after Jung-kook left that either of them stirred, and Hak-yeon wobbled just as terribly as the first time he stood up. Hong-bin helped steady himself, and as he glanced at his Binnie's face he felt the sobs and tears that he'd been suppressing break through, and he clung selfishly onto Hong-bin as he cried. He was selfish, utterly selfish; Hong-bin had loved Seok-jin, possibly more than he loved Hak-yeon, yet he didn't know. All because Hak-yeon was too afraid to see the look of betrayal and hurt to cross his Binnie's face, because Hak-yeon was too much of a coward. He didn't think he would be able to hold up the fragile glue that kept himself together if Hong-bin left him.  

"It's okay, Hak-yeon hyung," Hong-bin reassured, awkwardly patting his back in the way Taek-woon would do to them. "Don't cry." Hak-yeon stopped mid-cry when he felt a hand rake through his hair, and glanced up to see Hong-bin staring determinedly as he ran his hand through Hak-yeon's hair. When he saw he stopped crying, Hong-bin cupped Hak-yeon's cheeks in his hands, smiling.  

"Hak-yeon hyung is very beautiful." 

He froze, face still in his hands as he gaped. "Binnie? I-" 

"Yoon Saet-byul says that about you. Bin can too, right?"  

"O-of course," he whispered, sniffling at how pure his little Bin was as he cupped the younger's face in his own hands, the two standing their holding each other's faces. He couldn't lose Hong-bin. He couldn't. 

"Let's go home Hong-bin," he rushed, suddenly wanting to run home and bury himself away. This was too painful, everything was painful. He would do this another day; he'd try again later. Just not now. 

Hong-bin frowned, his fingernails pressing into Hak-yeon's cheeks. "But, for Taek-woon hyung-" 

"We'll do it later, we'll surprise him another day. Binnie, hyung wants to go home. I want to go home." 

"Okay," Hong-bin agreed easily, pulling away and shoving his hands in Hak-yeon's coat pockets. "Go home, let's go home."  

Hak-yeon didn't waste any time, nearly running as he went straight back to Taek-woon's apartment, his shaking hands scrambling to pull the keys Taek-woon had given him out of his pockets. Keys-- he didn't have them. No, he forgot them. They were on the kitchen table, he remembered putting them there. It had been so long since he left the apartment on his own that he didn't even think of bringing them. They reached the front of the apartment complex, neither having a way to get inside.  

Hong-bin watched Hak-yeon panic, gasping as he fruitlessly searched through his pockets to get inside. He was useless; he was little more than a burden to his Taek-woonie who couldn't even go out without doing something wrong. He was struggling so hard to speak and do even basic things; why was it him that lived, that was freed? What had Seok-jinnie done to be the one punished, the one that died? 

Hong-bin reached into his pocket and pulled out their cell phone, holding it out for him. "Taek-woon hyung. Taek-woon hyung will help." 

He complied, only because he didn't want to keep thinking these painful thoughts.  

Taek-woon's voice was incredibly soothing, just the sound able to calm him, even if only a little. Taek-woon...Seok-jin would have liked Taek-woon. Taek-woon probably would have been a little shy at first, but he would like him too. He should have snuck Seok-jin out more, maybe brought him out to Seoul one day. He should have fought more.  

Taek-woon kept talking, saying how Sang-hyuk was coming to see him too. Seok-jin would have liked Sang-hyuk too. He probably wouldn't have liked that Sang-hyuk liked Saet-byul, but he would probably only have . They would have gotten along well. Hak-yeon imagined what it would have been like if Seok-jin had been with them the day they had all gone to the park, to the days when they would wander around the city. Seok-jin had always wanted to visit Seoul.  

He nearly threw himself into Taek-woon's arms when the other's reassuring presence finally appeared next to him, crushing him close and wishing to never let go.  

Would Taek-woon stay with him too? Would he stay if he knew that he killed his baby brother? 

Would anyone? 

Hello!

Had a little extra time recently and decided to post another update! I might be a little late on the next one though, I fly back home this Friday, so I'll be busy packing and then readjusting once I land. But don't worry, the wait shouldn't be too long!