“Won-shik oppa!” She didn’t give her brother any time before launching on him in a bone crushing hug, crying openly despite how much he tried to push her off of him, his name repeatedly uttered from her lips. She could hear their father shouting her name disapprovingly, hissing at her to let go but she didn’t care, couldn’t care. She had her brother in her arms, had her brother back, and she was not about to let him go. She tightened her arms around his neck, could feel his body rumble with a laugh before hugging her back just as tightly.

“I love you oppa,” she cried, burying her face in his shoulder. “I love you so much, and I’ll never let you disappear again.”

“Won-hye ya…”

“That’s enough Won-hye,” their father growled, grabbing her shoulder and pulling away. She withered under their father’s scrutinizing glare, looking sheepishly back at her brother to see him smiling at her, the white hospital gown so bright against his dark, bandaged skin.

She felt her eyes water as she watched him lie back down on the bed, wincing and grunting as he tried to move without brushing his wounds. It hurt her terribly to see him in so much pain, to even think about what he could possibly have gone through in those weeks he disappeared. Those weeks he had been kidnapped.

When he had run off to save his hyung, she had been hurt and upset that he had gone back to his hyung instead of staying with her. That he had chosen his hyung over her. She had missed him so much when he ran off initially, and was so, so eternally grateful he came back, that it felt like her heart was being ripped to pieces when he left again.

She had always regretted the words she had said to her brother, how she had so easily disowned him as a brother for not approving her marriage all those years ago. She had been so excited to be married, had been so hurt he wasn’t happy for her—she regretted with all her being that she had pushed him away. That day when she had heard his voice on the phone, heard him say he wanted to come home—she had promised herself she would never let him slip away again. And now that it had happened again so soon, to have him returned beaten and scarred, she felt that desire explode tenfold.

“Won-shik…” their father said slowly, his expression vacant as he kept a stiff upper lip, staring down at Won-shik. Her brother stared right back, lip just as upturned, but before he was able to say anything their father shot forward and engulfed him in a crushing hug. “Won-shik, I’m so happy you’re alright.” She could see her brother’s shocked expression before he tentatively hugged back, looking to her for help.

“Dad…we were all really worried about you,” she offered tearfully, their father only hugging tighter. “We’re all thankful you’re okay.”

“Won-hye-”

“Wonnie? Are you-” Both she and their father jumped when the body in the next bed, which she admittedly never noticed until now, rolled over, blinking sleepily. His eyes widened as he shot up, looking absolutely terrified at the sight of them. Her eyes narrowed when Won-shik looked just as alarmed, wheezing as he climbed out of bed to join the other boy, wrapping his arms around him and shushing him gently. She and their father exchanged confused glances, her stomach twisting at the sight. She had never seen her brother speak like that, act like that, around anyone other than her, and even then he hadn’t done that in years.

“W-Won-shik oppa…” she tried, and jumped back at the near livid glare her brother sent her.

“Don’t come near him,” he snarled, his arms around the other boy’s shoulders stiffening. She was near tears when their father cleared his throat, speaking in a slow, controlled tone.

“Won-shik…who is this?”

It took Won-shik a long time to answer, waiting until the boy in his arms calmed slightly, shaking. “This is my hyung.” Realization hit her, and she looked down at the boy in a mixture of wonder and pity. This must be the hyung that her brother had ran away to save, had gotten himself kidnapped for. She watched how the boy’s fingers held onto Won-shik as if he was afraid he would disappear, how he whimpered as he trembled, how her brother acted as if he was holding the world’s greatest treasure. She swallowed as she walked around and sat on the edge of Won-shik’s bed, wincing when the two of them flinched away.

“Hello,” she said in the gentlest voice she could, both pausing to stare at her. “My name is Kim Won-hye, I’m Won-shik’s sister.”

The boy’s eyes opened as he looked up at her, blinking owlishly before turning back to Won-shik. “W-Won-hye?”

“Yeah,” Won-shik said softly, “this is Won-hye. She’s pretty, isn’t she?” The boy nodded, watching her out of the corner of his eye. Won-shik paused for a moment as he grabbed the hospital blanket and wrapped it around the boy’s shoulders, helping him settle before looking back at her. “His name is Ken. He’s always wanted to meet you.”

She smiled, making sure to tread carefully, safely. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Won-shik oppa has always talked about you. It made me a little jealous, I feel like he loves you more than me.” She saw how the boy, Ken’s, cheeks flushed and her brother fidgeted uncomfortably, neither meeting her eyes. Her eyes narrowed, understanding clear as she stood up.

“Well, we should be going.”

Their father looked at her strangely, frowning confusedly. “What are you doing Won-hye?” he hissed. “Your brothers aren’t even here yet.”

“We’re obviously scaring his hyung,” she hissed back, sending a sweet smile to her brother, the two of them staring at her strangely as well. “We can come back later, we have all the time in the world now.” She reached over, laughing softly when her brother instinctively yanked Ken away from her, and placed her hand over his. “Rest well oppa, we’ll come back later when you’re feeling better.”

She didn’t give anyone a chance to object when she grabbed their father’s hand and pulled him out of the room. She stole one last glance at her brother, Ken letting out a sigh of relief as he fell back against Won-shik’s chest, Won-shik resting his cheek on the top of the other’s head. She smiled knowingly, shutting the door slow enough to hear Ken whisper in wonder, “Won-shik ah, you were able to touch her.”

--

When she and her husband first realized their son Sang-hyuk had gone missing, they found they weren’t the only ones. There were at least three other families crowded in the police station, all of them in common in that their sons were missing. They discovered that their children were all friends, her squeezing her husband’s hand as she tried to hide how furious she grew at the news. She had never approved of Sang-hyuk’s friends, especially the girl Saet-byul. Sang-hyuk had secretly confided in her how much he loved her, how he thought everything about her was beautiful and he wanted to do whatever he could to make her happy. She had disapproved the friendship, could tell the girl would never return his feelings, but she was never able to stop him. Not when he had turned out to be such a wonderful boy who only wanted the best for the girl he loved.

But she kept quiet, smiled and reciprocated the empty reassurances they all confided in each other. As the days turned to weeks and their children still missing, they all grew close, both desperate and scared for any news on what could possibly have happened to them. With each passing day she found less and less meaning in life, only wanting her Sang-hyukkie back. She just wanted to hold him in her arms again, feel him pressed against her safe and sound. She just wanted her baby back.

When they got the call that their children had been rescued, that they were being brought to the hospital right away, they had all been together. They were all so happy, disregarding how two of them were in critical condition and headed to surgery because they were safe. They were alive.

But then she and her husband got a separate call, asking them instead to head to the morgue. She dropped the phone, wasn’t able to listen to the officer on the other end, and her husband had to finish the call. She could see how her husband’s face twisted and his hands shook, reaching out shakily to grab her hand. She knew what the officer was saying, knew what he was telling them with that aloof tone of his. When her husband hung up, his eyes wet and his breath shaky, she stubbornly looked him in the eye, telling him not to cry.

That couldn’t be their Sang-hyuk.

They mixed him up with one of the other boys. That couldn’t be her baby.

It couldn’t be him.

The drive to the morgue was silent, neither of them talking as their hearts hammered painfully in their chests. Her hands trembled despite how much she tried to convince herself they were wrong.

But no amount of convincing prepared her for the moment the mortician pulled the blanket back, her baby’s horribly disfigured face revealed. She screamed as she fell to her knees, her hands hovering over her baby’s face but so afraid to touch him, to possibly hurt him anymore than he already had. The man had cleaned her Sang-hyukkie up, the stab wounds washed and cleaned so they were only narrow holes in his skin. She forced herself to look up, raised her quivering fingers to run across this cheek.

“Sang-hyukkie...baby...Mom’s here. Mom’s here…”

Her husband put a hand on her shoulder, cried silent tears as she openly sobbed.

“Mom told you...why didn’t you listen to me? I told you they were bad...I told you to stay away from that girl.” Her cries grew louder, gasping horribly, as the realization hit that she was never going to hear her baby tell her good morning again, tell her he loved her. He was never going to ask her for extra money, smile at her, laugh loudly at one of his own jokes, pull her into his bedroom and hide under the blankets as he told her all the things that were bothering him. He was never going to do any of that with her again. That girl...that girl stole away her precious baby, had heartlessly shattered her whole world.

She was never going to make him dinner again, never able to nag him to come home early. She was never going to be able to tell him to be safe, to listen to his mother, to stop sassing her. She wasn’t going to be able to do that ever again.

“Sang-hyuk, my baby. My baby...my baby…”

Why, why was it only her Sang-hyuk? All the other families, they were able to go to the hospital. Their children were safe. Even the boys in critical condition had successful surgeries, they were going to be alright. Why was her Sang-hyuk the only one that died? She showered her baby’s face with kisses, apologized continuously for being such a terrible mother.

“I should have watched you better. I should have done more. I’m so sorry, your mother should have protected you. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

She wailed when the mortician finally stepped forward to cover her baby’s face, cried desperately to her husband not to let them take Sang-hyuk away. Her baby, her baby needed his mother. The morgue was so cold and lonely, he needed her. She needed to stay with him.

“Let me stay with my baby! Please! He’ll be so scared and lonely without me, please let me stay!”

“Stop it,” her husband pleaded, his face flushed. “Let Sang-hyuk rest. Let him sleep for now. We’ll come back, we’ll make sure to place him where he can rest happily.”

“No, I can’t-”

“Don’t let him see you cry. He’s probably hurting so bad seeing his mother cry. Smile for him, smile...show him your smile and tell him how much you love him.” They were both crying by then, her husband having to support her as she leaned over the table, caressing her baby’s face.

“H-Hyukkie...Mommy loves you...loves you so much. Don’t...d-don’t worry about us. We’ll be okay. We’ll...we’ll come back and give you a large sendoff...so you can rest happily.” Her husband kissed her, running his hand down her back soothingly, and she smiled through her tears. “Just know we love you very much, and we’ll always think of you. We’ll always love you.” She covered to hide her trembling lips as they covered her baby again, didn’t allow herself to cry until they wheeled him out of the room.

--

She burst through the door, breathless, to find both Taek-woon and Hak-yeon placed in adjacent beds, both of them asleep. They had told her that their surgeries had been successful, and that they would heal just fine. She saw Hong-bin sitting between the two of them, his legs drawn up to his chest with the most lost, scared look she had ever seen from him. She glanced over to Hak-yeon’s mother, the woman peeking around the corner but too afraid to go in.

“I’ll wait here,” she whispered, her eyes never looking away from Hak-yeon. “You go check on them.”

She sent the woman a pitying glance, giving her hand a soft squeeze, before running inside, immediately kneeling by Hong-bin’s side. “Hong-bin ah,” she said slowly, carefully. Surprisingly Hong-bin didn’t flinch away from her, instead only looking up at her, so very lost. “Hong-bin sweetie, are you okay?” He shifted, eyes shooting up to look at Hak-yeon.

“Hak-yeon hyung...Taek-woon hyung…”

“They’re going to be okay,” she reassured, hands hovering in wanting to hug him but too afraid of scaring him. “The doctors told me they’re going to be okay.”

Hong-bin fiercely shook his head, his fingers clawing into his knees as he drew in on himself. She noticed his heavily bandaged arms, the casts they had wrapped tightly around them starting to twist. Despite her better judgement, she reached out to soothe him, her hand brushing his arm, and he flew back, screaming. “Don’t touch!” he screamed, scrambling over to the other side of Hak-yeon’s bed and hiding. “Don’t touch Bin!”

“I’m sorry Hong-bin,” she said quickly, flustered as she tried to figure out a way to calm him down. “I won’t touch you, I’m sorry. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” It took a few minutes before Hong-bin calmed down enough to stop crying, took him even longer to quiet enough to listen to her. She made sure to stay out of sight when she asked her questions, made sure to keep her voice nice and sweet.

“Are you watching over them, Hong-binnie?” she asked. She could see him shift, pretended not to see him peek out at her.

“Sleeping...hurt...Bin wants to make sure they’re not hurt.”

She swallowed heavily as she found her Taek-woon’s hand, tears in her eyes as she held it like a lifeline. She didn’t want to think about what could have happened that her baby was stabbed in the back, nearly cutting right through his lung and making him choke on his own blood. She didn’t want to think about how close her Taek-woon had been to dying. She didn’t want to think about any of that. He was here, he was alive, he was safe. That was all that mattered to her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, leaning forward and kissing her baby’s cheek. She knew this was the only time Taek-woon would ever let her kiss him, would ever let her care for him, and she smiled through her tears. “Thank you Binnie for taking care of them.”

Hong-bin didn’t answer right away, his voice tentative when he did, “Bin loves Taek-woon hyung. Taek-woon hyung saved Bin, Bin will make sure no one ever touches him. Bin won’t let anyone touch Taek-woon hyung again.”

She smiled over at him, could see his head peeking out over Hak-yeon’s bed as he watched her carefully. “Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.”

Hong-bin’s face flushed, ducking back down, when Hak-yeon stirred, eyes opening, and she barely was able to register anything before Hak-yeon’s mother suddenly burst in the room and showered her son with frantic kisses.

--

She knew it was dangerous, could vividly remember the day when he almost bit his tongue off at the sight of her. She knew she was supposed to stay away, knew just her presence was enough to put her precious Hak-yeon in danger of hurting himself. But after hearing about what happened, after waiting hours outside the surgery room, she couldn’t hold back when she saw her baby open his eyes. She kissed his eyes, nose, face, hair; she ran her hands all over him, just feeling him, desperate to touch and love her son before he could realize what was happening.  

“Hak-yeonnie...Hak-yeonnie, Mom’s here. You’re safe now.”  

She could feel him shift under her, growling at her as he tried to move his arms, and she held him harder, refusing to let him push her away. This was her one chance; she wouldn’t be able to do this again. He could wait a couple more minutes, could let her love him for just a couple more minutes. As she cradled his head, she could feel Hong-bin try to push her away, could hear Taek-woon's mother try and pull her away, but she couldn't move. She was crying, Hak-yeon's name the only thing she could manage to say.  

She just wanted her son. She just wanted Hak-yeon. They took both her babies away, took Seok-jin forever, and kept Hak-yeon far away from her. She was so alone, so heartbroken; why couldn't anyone just let her have her son back?  

"Hak-yeon, I love you so much. I love you so, so much." 

Hak-yeon tried pushing her again, growling louder, and she started sobbing. Not yet, she didn't want to let him go yet. He was here, so warm and real, she didn't want to let him leave her again. "My baby, I love you so, so much. My baby..." 

"Let go of Hak-yeon hyung!" Hong-bin snapped, pushing at her shoulder, but she refused to let go. "You're hurting hyung!"  

"Hong-bin, don't yell-" 

"Mom..." Everyone fell silent at the sound of the first intelligible word Hak-yeon managed to say, her pulling away to see him gasp out a large breath. After a couple seconds, his face twisted in a grimace, he smiled at her. "You were leaning on my wound, silly."  

She blinked incomprehensibly at him, her hands hovering over his face, suddenly afraid to touch him. "B-baby? Are you...are you okay?" 

His smile never left his face, his eyes never moving away from her, as he reached up and took her hand in his. "I'm here Mom, you don't have to worry."  

She was starting to cry again, her baby's face warped from her tears. She clasped his hands in hers, staring in disbelief and wonderful hope. "You're not afraid? You're not scared of me?"  

His brow furrowed thoughtfully, his fingers running curiously over her own, staring at her face for the longest time. He moved his hands away, bewilderment in his eyes as he felt up her arms, touched her stomach and waist. He turned his head to look at Hong-bin, one hand pulling away to brush the boy's cheek. "Hong-binnie...Saet-byul...what happened to her? How did we...how did we get here?"  

"Saet-byul's dead hyung. She killed herself."  

Hak-yeon didn't move for the longest time, both her and Taek-woon's mother waiting worriedly at how he would react. But instead of shock, grief, or any other terrible reaction to the news, he laughed, laughed so loudly as he turned back to her. "Mom," he cried, grabbing her hands and yanking her down, wrapping his arms around her neck and hugging her the best he could. "Mom, I can hug you again. I can be with you again."  

"W-what?" she asked, stuttering. She was confused, but underneath that confusion was a flowering warmth that exploded at the feeling of her son holding her.  

"It's gone...it's gone, Mom. I can be with you again. I can be with you."  

She let out a strangled noise as she hugged him back just as tightly, the two of them sobbing uncontrollably, happily. She wasn't sure what exactly happened, wasn't sure what was supposed to be gone, but all that mattered was her son was hugging her and telling her he was coming back. She felt a tug under her, looked up to see Hong-bin's devastated face as he frantically pulled on Hak-yeon's sleeve.  

"H-Hak-yeon hyung, w-what? L-leave...Hak-yeon hyung will leave Bin?"  

Hak-yeon pulled away as he turned over to Hong-bin, wincing before cupping the younger boy's cheeks in his hands. She bit her lip at the sight, her heart clenching when she remembered the thousands of times Hak-yeon used to do the very same thing to Seok-jin when they were younger.  

"No Binnie," he said soothingly, "I will never leave you." A wave of relief passed over Hong-bin's face as he leaned into Hak-yeon's touch, Hak-yeon chuckling fondly. "Binnie, where is Taek-woonie? Is he outside?"  

Hong-bin froze, them all holding their breath. Hak-yeon's face clouded, shoving them all away as he struggled to sit up, refusing to let them help him. "Where is Taek-woon?" 

"Hak-yeon..." Taek-woon's mother said quietly, stepping away so Hak-yeon could see Taek-woon's still body in the other hospital bed. Hak-yeon didn't move, didn't breathe, his eyes wide as they stared at the other boy. Taek-woon's mother spoke carefully, bracing herself. "He's going to be alright, the doctor said he'll be fine-" 

"What happened?" Hak-yeon's voice was so low, it chilled her how empty he sounded. When none of them answered, his face darkened, glaring. "What. Happened?" Hong-bin made a noise, tugged at Hak-yeon's arm to try and appease him, and the younger boy mewled when Hak-yeon seethed at him. “What happened to him? What happened to my Taek-woonie?”

“Hak-yeon, calm down-”

“What did she do to him? What did she do to my Taek-woonie?” She panicked when Hak-yeon started screaming, the machines hooked up to his body starting to whir loudly. She and Taek-woon’s mother jumped forward and held him down when he tried getting up, her son crying frustratingly when he couldn’t move, so weak. “What happened? What did she do? What did she do to him? Taek-woon ah! Let me see him!”

“Hak-yeon ah,” Taek-woon’s mother spoke up when she was unable to, shaken up when she saw her son flailing like this. It hurt her that Taek-woon’s mother was more adept at handling Hak-yeon like this, that she had more experience. She should have been the one to help Hak-yeon through those times. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep trying to move. Calm down, Taek-woon will be fine.”

“I should have saved him,” Hak-yeon blubbered as he felt limp under their hands, the machines calming down as his heartrate slowed. She took his hand, lovingly pushed his sweaty bangs from his eyes. Hak-yeon looked up at her brokenly, clung to her. “Because of me…he got hurt because of me…all because of me…”

“Shh, none of this was your fault,” she soothed, kissing him repeatedly, feeling him push against her hands and whine at her touch. “None of us blame you, and I’m sure Taek-woon wouldn’t either. You did nothing wrong.”

“Mom…” He shivered, eyes closed as his hands shakily lifted up to hover over her own. “Mom…” Taek-woon’s mother gave her shoulder a squeeze before stepping away, leaving her and Hak-yeon alone as she went back to her own son. But she couldn’t pay attention to that, her everything focused on her baby’s sad eyes staring at her, holding her hand as if afraid she would disappear. She held on just as tightly, just as afraid, and time seemed to freeze in that very moment, allowing her an eternity of happiness and gratitude.

Hello!

There's only one more chapter after this to wrap up the story; it's bittersweet to have gotten to this point. I've spent so many hours writing this; when I first started writing My Special Doll, I actually had no intention of posting it online. To have gotten as big a reception for it, for both it and the sequel, is more amazing than I could ever have imagined. Hopefully you have all had as much enjoyment reading this as I did writing it.