Hak-yeon’s sporadic outbursts frequented in number since that day, some more violent than others. There were days when he would suddenly head to the front door, and only a small tug on his arm would break the spell and he’d be fine. Others he would frantically fight them off, throwing and breaking things, in order to get out the door. He didn’t seem to have any idea of what was pushing him to get out, his mind curiously blank when asked afterward. They only managed to get out of him that he needed to save ‘her’, and that ‘she’ was in danger, and those were only during his episodes. 

Hong-bin, the poor boy, had no idea what to do when the Hak-yeon that he leaned on for anything and everything would suddenly turn and attack him. He was completely lost, not knowing anything else than to try his best to hold onto his hyung. Hak-yeon in turn would try his best to resist his urge in order to protect his dongsaeng, though in the end Hong-bin grew terrified. He never was good with violence. 

The first thing Taek-woon saw when he went out to make breakfast was Hak-yeon curled up in the corner of the hallway, pulled in on himself until he was only a tiny ball. He sighed softly as he walked over, kneeling down by his side, Hak-yeon’s eyes shifting to look at him briefly. “Hak-yeon,” he said gently, fighting the urge to comfort the other and deciding to just shove his hands in his pockets, “what are you doing out here?”

“Bin,” he said so softly he almost missed it, “I’m afraid I’ll hurt him.” 

They sat in silence for a while, Taek-woon racking his brains to try and say something that would help soothe the older boy’s worries. He had never been good at comforting, and he never really had to do anything like that with the two, as they always did that on their own. Hak-yeon had always been the mitigator, knowing just what to say or do to make anyone happy. He was nothing like that, didn’t know what would make him feel better. 

Hak-yeon was like a different person.

“Bin loves you,” he finally said lamely. “He’ll never hate you.” 

“He’s grown scared of me.” There was a lilt in his voice, a small burst of emotion peeking through as Hak-yeon’s normally placid fingers gripped his pants. “He thinks I don’t notice...but he should be afraid. I’ve hurt him so many times.” 

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’ve hurt you too.” He looked up at him, his dull eyes glistening. “I can’t control myself, and I’ve hurt both of you.” 

“If you want, I can bring someone to come check on you.” At that, Hak-yeon immediately drew back in on himself, his way of saying he didn’t like it, and Taek-woon quickly backtracked. “Alright, I won’t bring anyone. But it won’t go away on its own.” Hak-yeon didn’t respond for the longest time, having retreated into his own world, and Taek-woon waited. He let Hak-yeon work at his own pace, and eventually after a good amount of time passed, he heard a soft whisper,

“Bring me to see her.” 

“What?”

Hak-yeon’s one hand slowly released its grip on his pant leg, his hand shaking as he reached over and placed it over Taek-woon’s own. It took a while for him to get a firm hold, but eventually his fingers closed in, his thumb pressed into his palm. “I’m acting like this because something’s wrong. I...I need to find her and make sure she’s okay.” 

An image of Saet-byul’s bruised face flashed in his mind and he winced. “You wouldn’t even know where to look for her.” 

“You’ve been meeting her.” At that Hak-yeon’s grip tightened viciously, his nails clawing into his skin. He winced, but his mind was more focused on the fact that Hak-yeon knew. How long did he know? He had kept his meeting Saet-byul very secretive, taking great lengths to never mention her or talk to her when he was home. How did he find out? Hak-yeon continued talking, his tone near condescending. “So you should know exactly where to find her.” 

He sighed, shifting his hand slightly in hopes to get him to let go, though that only made him hold harder. “You said you never wanted to see her.” 

“She’s doing something to me. I have to stop her.” 

“She’s not doing it intentionally. She always asks for your wellbeing.” 

“I let her go to get rid of her. I don’t need her.” 

“You used to love her. What happened to you?” At that, Hak-yeon’s hand finally loosened, his eyes for once wide in surprise as he stared at him in horror. Very slowly, almost as if an eternity passed by, tears welled in his eyes and slowly began to trickle down his cheeks. 

“I...Taek-woonie...I don’t know what’s happening to me. My little Byullie...I know she hasn’t done anything but I..I can’t. I’m so scared of what will happen…” His hands began to shake as he struggled to hold something, eventually clutching his sleeves. And when he looked up, Taek-woon felt his heart stop. 

This...looking at him right now was his Hak-yeon. This was the Hak-yeon he knew. 

“Please save me Taek-woon,” he said hurriedly, his voice choking. “Kill me, please. I can’t live like this. Please save me...save me…” Taek-woon didn’t move, couldn’t move, only able to shake his head at the things spewed from his friend’s lips. In the five years he’s been caring for his friend, he had never been this articulate, this emotional. He had no idea how to respond, what to do. So he just sat frozen as his friend broke down in front of him, head hanging and sobs racking his body. “Please...please…”

“Hak-yeon…”

And just like that, his friend’s body went still, stopping mid-cry. He waited with bated breath to see what he would do, looked right into his eyes when he finally sat up, and a part of him broke when he saw the deadened gaze again. He should be used to it by now, had seen it for so long, but after finally, finally seeing the real Hak-yeon underneath it all, it was only disheartening. Hak-yeon slowly looked up at him, his hands lethargically letting go and falling into his lap. Fighting back the own tightening in his chest, he reached over and wiped Hak-yeon’s tears from his face, biting his lip when the other was unresponsive. 
“It’s best not to see her again,” he said gently, knowing that at this point he was merely talking to himself. “But I’ll talk to her."

--

“Stay still Hong-bin,” Taek-woon murmured softly as he scrubbed at the dust and food caked on the boy’s face, the younger boy squirming uncomfortably the whole time. He frustratingly grabbed Hong-bin’s chin, forcing him to stay still as he worked. 

One consequence of Hak-yeon avoiding Hong-bin was the other quickly reverted to his instinctual behavior, in that he hid from everyone and everything. Even when he was hungry, he would grab his food and hide under the bed, preferring to eat hidden away. No matter how much Taek-woon tried to coax him out, he refused to listen. It didn’t help that Hak-yeon also refused helping, in his twisted mind thinking this was somehow better. 

He had only managed to grab the younger boy during one of Hong-bin’s escapades to steal food. He made sure he allowed Hong-bin to eat the cake he’d left out for bait while he cleaned his face, treating him gently so as not to startle him. What he really wanted was to give him a thorough bath, though this would have to do. 

“No,” Hong-bin whined quietly when Taek-woon pressed too hard, shying away. 

“Just let me finish and then you can eat all the cake you want. I promise.” Hong-bin didn’t answer, only glaring at him with a slight pout before picking up the rest of the cake with his fingers and shoving it in his mouth. Taek-woon couldn’t stop the exasperated sigh that escaped his lips, taking the wet rag and wiping away at the boy’s stuffed cheeks. “If you keep eating like that, I’m going to have to keep cleaning your face.” 

“Bin doesn’t want,” Hong-bin muttered, pushing away at him, and Taek-woon used that to grab his hands and start to clean the crumbs away.

“I know.”

“Bin doesn’t want Taek-woon hyung.” 

“I know.”

“Bin wants Hak-yeon hyung.” 

“I know, Hong-bin. I know.” 

“Where is Hak-yeon hyung? Bin...I want to see him.” He didn’t answer right away, his eyes glancing to the locked bedroom door across the room. Hak-yeon had had an episode earlier that morning, before Hong-bin had woken, and it had taken all of his strength to lock him away. Hak-yeon had specifically told him not to let Hong-bin know when he had his fits. He looked back to see Hong-bin staring at him innocently, his large eyes showing him how much trust the boy actually had in him. 

“Hak-yeon is still sleeping.”

“Hyung won’t come near Bin anymore. Does...did Bin do something wrong? Bin didn’t mean to make Hak-yeon hyung angry.” He was no longer squirming, staying very still as Taek-woon cleaned him up. 

“He’s not angry with you Hong-bin.”

“Bin must have done something. Hyung...hyung won’t even sleep with me anymore. I...I want to apologize but...but…”

“Shh, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything.”

“B-but...but...hyung...h-he-”

“He’s just having a lot going on right now. He doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“Hak-yeon hyung doesn’t hurt Bin! Bin is just fine!” 

“No, he’s not doing it on purpose. Until we’re able to figure out what’s going on between him and Saet-byul-” He stopped, blinking in surprise when Hong-bin suddenly stiffened and yanked his hand away, his big eyes hard. 

“Yoon Saet-byul?” he asked, his voice taking an edge he’d never heard from the normally timid boy. Still surprised at the sudden change, he nodded slowly. Hong-bin’s lips turned down into a nasty frown, his fingers curling into shaking fists. “She...is she doing this to Hak-yeon hyung? Is she the one hurting him?”

He didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. 

Hong-bin reached over and grabbed the rag out of his hands, surprisingly cleaning his own face and hands before throwing it to the ground. His hands and face clean, he reached back over and started to feel Taek-woon up, slapping his chest and sides as if searching for something. “H-Hong-bin?” Hong-bin didn’t answer, his face one of pure concentration, until he finally pulled Taek-woon’s phone out of his pocket, easily turning it on. He clicked randomly on the screen for a while, glancing embarrassedly at him before eventually handing it back over. 

“C-can you call her for me hyung? I can’t read…”

“You want to call Saet-byul?”

He nodded seriously. “If you don’t stop her, she will keep hurting hyung. Hak-yeon hyung will get worse.” 

He stared at Hong-bin’s face for a while before looking back down at his phone, Saet-byul’s name shining on the screen. Having seen Hong-bin’s timid and scared personality for so long, he sometimes forgot that Hong-bin had been trapped a lot longer than Hak-yeon. A lot longer than any of the others. And despite him not understanding much about the world, he knew much more about what was going on than anyone. It was easy to forget that. Taek-woon hesitated from hitting the call button, Hong-bin’s intense stare on him. “Hyung!”

Rubbing his eyes resignedly, he hit the call button and brought the phone to his ear, his heart thumping at the dialing tone. The phone rang for the longest time, and Taek-woon was already ready to give up when the small sound of the call connecting clicked. “...hello?”

“Saet-byul?” he asked, and he could almost hear her shudder on the other end. 

“T-Taek-woon oppa...I...I thought you were never going to call me again.”

He winced, realizing it had been over a month since the last time he’d talked to her, and the last thing he’d said to her had been less than ideal. “I’m sorry. It’s gotten difficult over here, and I haven’t had time.” She didn’t say anything, whimpering. “I’m sorry for what I said to you. I shouldn’t have said it.” 

“N-no, it’s okay. You were worried about N right? That’s fine, as long as he’s okay.” She paused. “He...he’s okay, right?” 

Taek-woon glanced at Hong-bin, the boy watching him seriously. “That’s what I need to talk to you about. Would I be able to meet you sometime?”

“You want to meet me?” She shouldn’t have to be that surprised, though thinking about it, he never did invite her out. She had always been the one to contact him. “U-um, today isn’t that good. Would tomorrow be okay?” 

“Today, today hyung!” Hong-bin hissed at him, tugging at his leg and pointing at her phone. “Tell her today!”

He waved the other boy away. “I understand. Yes, tomorrow will be fine.” 

“I’m really sorry. If I could I would come today.” 

“It’s alright. Take care of yourself until then.” He pointedly ignored Hong-bin’s glare as he put his phone back in his pocket. “I promise I’ll figure this out, okay? Don’t...don’t worry.” Despite Hong-bin’s protests, he did not call her again to demand her to meet that day, thus quickly losing the younger boy’s attention. By the time he finished cleaning the plate Hong-bin had already disappeared. 

--

Sang-hyuk burst through the cafe doors, looking around wildly, letting out a shaky breath at the sight of Saet-byul and Jae-hwan sitting together. Panting heavily, he staggered his way over to their side, eyes running over Saet-byul. He immediately locked onto the fact that she was dressed up, wearing a thick winter dress and her hair styled slightly. He could tell she attempted to cover her bruised face with make-up, though there were patches of black and blue here and there on her cheeks. He tried not to stare too much at that, he had a hard time controlling himself every time he saw her. 

Saet-byul jumped up at the sight of him, wordlessly wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. “Thank you for coming today Hyukkie,” she breathed, her voice shaking. 

“Is...is Woo-jin sunbae really coming today?”

She nodded, pulling away and biting her lip worriedly. “Taek-woon oppa’s never invited me out before, and he said something is wrong with N. He wanted to meet yesterday but I got so nervous...I didn’t want to look bad when N sees me. D-do I look good?” 

“You look great, my little star,” Jae-hwan added genuinely, and Saet-byul turned to give him a grateful smile. 

“Do you think he’ll recognize me?”

“Nope! You’ve gotten so pretty his eyes will probably explode!” That finally got a laugh out of her, and it was enough to distract her from Sang-hyuk’s less than excited expression. He had raced over here the moment she called him to let him know she was going to meet Woo-jin, but it wasn’t because he was excited for her. A part of him didn’t want her meeting him- he abandoned her through and through. There was no way this was going to be a happy reunion. If anything, he didn’t want to see Saet-byul cry again. And he had a feeling Woo-jin was going to make her cry. 

The sound of a phone ringing made the group grow silent, and Saet-byul’s hands shook as she pulled her phone out of her bag. She let out a shaky breath as she answered, forcing a smile on her face as she looked out the window. 

“Are you almost here?” she asked. Both he and Jae-hwan strained their ears to hear the response on the other end, though it was too faint for them to hear. Whatever he did say made her smile grow wider, laughing as she hung up the phone. She started fixing her hair, turning to him. “Do I look okay Hyukkie? I look okay, right?” 

“Calm down,” he said, doing his best to appear just as excited. “You’ll mess your hair up that way.” She stopped moving almost immediately, wringing her hands apprehensively. 

“I...I’m so nervous. What is he going to say? Will he look the same? What if...what I look too different? Ah, I probably shouldn’t have worn this. He won’t recognize me-”

“Saet-byul,” Jae-hwan said slowly as he got up, walking over to put his hands on her shoulders. “That guy’s like a brick wall- scary as hell but he doesn’t change. If he loved you before he’ll love you now.” 

“...that doesn’t really make sense.” 

“What? That made perfect sense! Hyukkie, back your hyung up here-” 

Everything went silent when the front door opened, the small bell ringing, and they all turned expectantly to see who it was. Sang-hyuk recognized Taek-woon almost immediately, the guy still as tall and intimidating as ever. He actually managed to look even more pissed, if that was possible. However, he didn’t recognize the guy behind him; whoever it was, it was definitely not Woo-jin. The second guy clung onto Taek-woon’s arm, peeking out carefully at them. 

Nobody moved, the tension in the air able to be cut with a knife, until Saet-byul’s phone clattered to the floor and a small gasp escaped her lips.