I decided to go out for my dinner. I couldn't cook because I can't. To Q's Beef Restaurant. The waiter was staring at me like a total stranger. As I was eating, he approached me.

"Excuse me sir.."

"Why?"

"I was looking at you all the time since you entered here... And.."

"What?"

"Are you with a girl last time?"

"A girl? No I'm not.."

"But you look familiar to me.. I think it was you?"

I asked him to leave me. Then I remembered that I've been here with EunTae last time. I called him and asked him "Why" again.

"She was here an hour ago, then she left this at the table where you two were".

She pointed at the table then showed me the thing EunTae left. A diary.

"I couldn't bring this back to her because it's already 10 minutes when she left the restaurant". He said.

"Yeah, it's EunTae's. I know her. I'll give this to her. Thank you anyways."

It has a picture of her at the front page. Like a college picture. Ocean as her background. Old. I stand up and go out of the place without finishing the food. I planned to give it to her that night. I was calling her but her phone turned off. I looked at the diary but there was no information about her except the picture. So I called Tiffany on the phone.

"EunTae is not here. I was trying to call her phone but she wasn't answering. I know she's ok. Why?"

I hang up the phone without answering her question. There was one place I know she could be. To the park. So I run, until I reached the park. She was not on the bench, on the riverside neither. I searched the whole place but I didn't see her. I'm worried.

I was like a Father who lost his child. I can't stop searching until I found my son. I almost searched the whole park for 20 minutes. She wasn't on the company neither. It's already 10:00pm and she maybe home. I called Tiffany but she said EunTae was still not there.

"I'm worried." she added.

"I was looking for her since I called you. But I can't see her."

A moment later, Tiffany said EunTae was just got home. I said, "OK. Good..", then I hang up the phone again. I thought I could see her, and talk to her. Appologize. But she's at home already, all I can do is to wait for the next day to give her diary back.

As I was at home, alone. I put EunTae's diary near my bed. I was curioused about it.

"What's written inside?" I asked myself.

I was thinking if I will open her diary. It's personal. I could invade her personal life. But I don't care. I'm alone, no one will know I opened it, read it.

I opened it starting at the middle. Her writings were neat. Black inked writings. But I noticed that the pages were smelled like it stayed on a cabinet for a year. I was skipping every pages going to the last page. Her diary was thick like a dictionary, I wonder if she can write in all of the pages of it. Then as I turned the pages, something fell down. It was many, I thought it was a teared paper. But when I picked it up, it was petals. Rose petals. It was in between the blanked pages, but it has date in it. I can't see the date clearly, so I opened the lights and turned the lamp shade off. When I looked at the writing, I went doubted. The date written there was "April 26, 1979".

"Why does the date like this?" I whispered to myself.

Then I looked at the cover, at the first page. There was still her picture. I thought that I got the wrong diary but I'm not. I rubbed my eyes thinking that I was just illutioning because it's too late. But the date didn't changed even the smell. So I closed it and put it to my closet. Then go to bed.

I was dreaming. A woman is talking to me saying..

"Love her."

"Love who?"

"The one you love.."

"Who.. Who are you?"

"You'll know me soon. Please take care of her."

I was looking around, trying to look for that woman. I couldn't even recognized her voice. I'm shouting. But she is like she doesn't hear me. All I can see is white.

"Am I dead?" I asked myself.

Then she suddenly said..

"Don't waste your time. You'll just hurt. Forever."

"What are you saying?!"

But she didn't made a reply. It was like a horror film for me. Threatened.

The next morning, I'm sweat. It was the feeling opposite to my last dream. Scared. Like nightmare. Then I rushed to the fridge and drink a glass of water. Then..

"The voice seems like an old woman.....

And seems familiar but not...

Love her?...

....maybe.."

I ran at EunTae's diary. I look at some pages. I saw a page, different from others. It has a flower drawn there, also two hearts. And this is the body of that page.
 

August 3, 1979
7:39 pm

Good evening Diary,

This is my happiest day since I was graduated! You know what? I saw him, my Mr. Cute, at a shop on the mall this afternoon. I thought he already has a girlfriend that time. He is walking with a woman, and I was sad because I couldn't even call him. And then he saw me from where I was standing. At an ice cream stand. He called my name and wave at me. I don't know what to do. I can't move my feet, nor eat my ice cream that is melting from the cone. I can't smile, too.

Then he walks towards me. Every step he make makes me shaking. I was like, "OH MY GOD. HE'S NEAR...", that time. Until he stopped in front of me. He tap me in my forehead, my weakness. He asked me why I was there. I answered him why but my voice is like I am riding on a horse. He told me that I was like I saw a freaky monster. It was a joke but I can't smile. I looked at the girl, behind her. He introduced her to me. I said "No, it's ok. I have to go". Then as I made 4 steps away from them, he asked me. "You want to meet my cousin, don't you?"

I stopped from walking and looked at him and asked him to repeat his question again. "My cousin..", he said. I don't know how to smile that time. Should I yell, or not? Should I scream, or not? So I chose to yell. He and his cousin was shocked.

After he introduced her cousin, she left us immediately. I don't know why but I felt happy. He asked me to walk around. We ride on a train there. It was really enjoying.

And after that he invited me to eat dinner, with him. I still can't believe it, diary! It's extraordinary! Like a dream. I went to a comfort room just to scream with a handkerchief in my mouth. But it was all real. He changed a lot you know? I can't believe it happened until now.

When we are walking, he asked me if he could walk with me until I reached my house. Of course, I accepted it. He was telling me lots of stories when we are on our way. Then the most unforgetable moment today, is when he said..

"I like you, you know? I wanna be with you again, wanna?"

I have may freak out that time. My crush? Is asking me to go out again? I really can't believe it. It's like heave fells at me today. I'm so lucky. And I can't wait to be with him tomorrow. And I should write it in my history. Right? Diary? Well, let's see. Good night!

I finished reading that when I was on the office. It was a two-paged story anyways. I didn't noticed it from the start. After I read that, I looked at the picture again. Now I know, it was EunTae's mother. I was staring at the whole diary. Thinking of EunTae.

"This diary is not hers. Her mother's. Why did I opened it?"

I was blaming myself for opening a diary of someone I haven't met before. Only in my dream. But still I am guilty because of it.

"Mr. Lee! You're too early. Coffee?"

Yoona arrived at her office 15 minutes after me. She was wearing like she'll go on a party. And carrying five folders.

"I have lots of work to finish, right?"

"Oh, I see. Well, good for you."

"Oh! I just want to remind you about next week." She added.

"I know.. Don't worry."

She was looking at me like seduced. I'm keeping my eyes not to look at her because I'm bothered. But she keeps on asking questions.

"I'll just go to the C.R."

"You can use my office's comfort room. It's better."

"No, it's ok. I used to use the one outside."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"OK! Just be back after ok?"

Actually, I want to take some fresh air at the roof top. And then while I was walking heading there, I was looking around to see EunTae. But she's not around. Maybe she is hiding from me. I reached the rooftop effortless. Just one step there. Until I saw her, the one I was looking for, yesterday, EunTae. She was drinking coffee or milk that time. I was panic so I hide at the back of the door. Just looking her from the small, horizontal glass window of it. She was just standing. Looking straight ahead. Maybe thinking of something.. Someone.

I checked myself. Her diary was left in Yoona's office. It should be my time to appologize to her but I 'm not with the diary. So I just called her. On the phone.

"Where are you?"

"Why?"

"..Just asking."

"I'm here at the roof top."

"..Me, too." I replied.

She looked at the door and saw me stepping from inside.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Fresh air... You?"

"Same."

There was silence after. She still drinking her cup of coffee, still looking at afar.

"Uhm.. About what happened yesterday, I..."

"I don't want to talk 'bout that. I'm sorry. Let's forget it."

"I'm sorry..."