Jessica was waiting for Yoona. The younger lady asked her to meet. Initially, Jessica refused but Yoona persuaded her.  Jessica agreed because she misses Yoona. It had been 3 days since both just stayed away from each other.

They met at a restaurant and Jessica chose the seat next to the window. She ordered English Tea and waited patiently for Yoona. Jessica took a week off from work and had been staying at the hotel. She couldn’t go back to Tiffany’s place because it was difficult for her to face Irene once again. Taeyeon’s return had scarred her once more.  She didn’t want to be reminded anymore.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

Yoona took out her shawl and sat opposite Jessica. Their eyes met and Jessica could see how tired Yoona was. 

“It’s okay, I just got here.”

“Thanks for agreeing to meet me.”

“You’re good in persuading.”

“Either that or you miss me.”

“Yes, it’s the latter. I miss you.”

Yoona nodded.

“I miss you too.”

Jessica smiled. Yoona leaned forward and kissed her forehead.  Jessica closed her eyes; capturing Yoona’s warmth for as long as she could.

“So why do you need to ask me out?”

Jessica asked casually. Yoona’s coffee came and she thanked the waiter. She stirred her coffee for a bit before looking up to meet Jessica’s eyes. They were sullen.

“I’m here to talk about Taeyeon.”

“What’s there to talk about her?”

“Jessica, it has been 20 years and you told me before that you still love her.”

“But I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“I know. I can sense that but Taeyeon needs you.”

“Why do you keep pushing me away to her? Are you playing with my feelings right now?”

“No, God. I’ll never stop loving you but Taeyeon’s sick. She needs you and Irene at least.”

“So what are you suggesting?”

“I know you’re still adamant not to forgive her for what she did. But she’s still your wife. In the eyes of law, you still have a certain degree of responsibility towards her.”

“Then where was she for the last 20 years?!”

“Jessica, please. Please listen to me. You have to calm down and listen to what she has to say. I know you still care about her. You’re angry because you still care about her.”

“What rubbish are you talking about?”

“I’ll go with you. I’ll meet her with you.”

Jessica stared at Yoona’s face. She wondered what went through Yoona’s mind. She never knew Yoona would still be rationale despite what happened.

“Do you love me, Yoona?”

“I do. I love you so much. But I don’t wish to see you having regrets later on.”

“Is her health really that bad?”

“She’s not taking any treatment; just medication. Her doctor said it’s not enough.”

Jessica thought for a bit and Yoona could see that she was hesitating. Yoona then reached out for Jessica’s hands and held onto them tightly. She smiled when Jessica looked up; she knew she was getting through Jessica’s hardened heart. Yoona always has her ways to persuade Jessica.

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.”

“You seriously have a way with me.”

“It’s for your good. And Taeyeon’s really sorry for what she did. All she wants is to seek your forgiveness and Irene’s as well.”

“Irene?”

“Yes, Irene. And I know you’re avoiding your daughter.”

Jessica looked away and sighed. She was guilty of that.

“I thought you wanted to spend your whole lifetime with Irene? What are you doing now?”

“Irene is avoiding me too. I’m not the only one. I looked for her at her school but apparently she didn’t turn up and she has been staying at Wendy’s place.”

“Wendy? Sunny-shi’s daughter?”

“Yes, Sunny has been updating me.”

“She’s not staying with Tiffany?”

“She would return once in awhile. But Tiffany would inform me and when I return home, Irene will take off citing she has things to do.”

Yoona nodded. Honestly, Irene was the tougher nut. She was really mad at her Omma and felt awkward with her Mommy.

“I’ll find her and talk to her but for now, can we visit Taeyeon?”

“I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Then let’s see her doctor first. Maybe he can tell you more.”

Jessica agreed.

-

 Irene was on her way to class. She finally decided to turn up for her lectures. She made her way up to her classroom and bumped into Professor Choi. She was a little unhappy about the meeting.

“Irene?”

“Morning Professor Choi. I’m late for lectures.”

“Irene, wait!”

But Irene ran off and Professor Choi decided not to chase her. Irene was probably still mad about her relation with Erika. She sighed and then walked in a different direction. Unknown to her, Irene was just hiding behind the pillar. She was tearing up again. The thought of her Omma hurt her so badly. She turned out to be someone Irene used to admire a lot. It was difficult for her to accept. Her Omma was with her all the while.

She recalled the time when Erika fainted in her office and she rushed her to the hospital. She already knew Erika was not well and Irene used to worry about her. But after finding out about the truth, Irene’s heart became hardened; just like her Mommy used to be.

Just then, Yuri stepped out from the lecture hall and spotted Irene hiding behind the pillar. Yuri has always been worried about the poor girl. She approached Irene.

“Irene?”

Irene turned to find her god mother looking at her worriedly. She almost burst into tears but she kept them in. She smiled weakly at her god mother.

“Irene, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Mommy Yuri.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I’m avoiding someone.”

Yuri nodded. She knew who it was.

“Irene, it’s not Professor Choi’s fault that she suggested you to work with her. She didn’t know about your relationship with her. She has been feeling bad about it and she really wanted to meet you to apologise.”

Irene bit her lower lip.

“I know. But I cannot bring myself to meet her. I was afraid she would advise me to meet her. I don’t want to meet her. I don’t need her in my life anymore. I’m fine with my life now.”

“Irene, she’s your mother no matter how you want to put it.  But I’m not going to push you since you’re so confused right now. But how about Mommy? Your Mommy Jessica has been looking for you. You told me before that you wanted to spend your lifetime with Mommy. Do you remember how happy you were when she became closer with you?”

“I’m feeling guilty towards Mommy.  The woman who broke her had been with me all the while. I felt like I’ve betrayed Mommy because I got closer to her.”

“Irene ah, your Mommy has never blamed you. Yes, she was too emotional back then but that was all in the past now. Yes, she has returned but she has suffered too. She’s sick now.”

Irene knew but her heart was ruling her mind now. She really didn’t want to meet her Omma anymore.

“I don’t know. I still cannot forgive her for abandoning me for the last 20 years.”

Irene sighed before leaving worried Yuri behind. The girl was not going to forgive Taeyeon.

-

“She has to undergo heart transplant before it gets worse. She refuses to go for treatment and medication alone might not work in the long run.”

“What’s her percentage of survival for heart transplant?”

“I could easily say 70%. But I suggest persuading Miss Kim to undergo treatment to prolong for her survival. At least, it would increase her livelihood for another 20 years.”

Jessica stared at Dr Shim while Yoona was reading the report in front of her. All she saw were percentages and the drugs used during the treatment. It was really frightening and threatening to see the number of medicines one had to take for this illness.

Jessica was still staring at Dr Shim. Her mind was filled with thoughts and memories of Taeyeon came rushing back on rewind mode. Most of her memories were bittersweet especially the one she caught Taeyeon with another woman on the day their daughter was born.

“Miss Jung?”

Dr Shim was calling out to her.

“Yes?”

“I don’t know much about your problems with her but if she could listen to you; maybe you’re the best person to convince her to go for treatment as soon as possible.”

Jessica was perplexed.

-

The couple walked hand in hand; one with thoughts of her wife whiles the other with thoughts of how she could save her friend.  Yoona glanced to her side to find Jessica in deep thoughts. The woman she loves was thinking and that was a good start.

“Sica, what are you thinking of?”

“Hm?”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Nah, I was just thinking some things through.”

“I hope one of the thoughts would be Erika.”

“Yes, she took the junk of it.”

Yoona smiled. She stopped and then turned Jessica to face her. She pulled the woman closer and wrapped her arms around the woman’s petite body tightly. Yoona was a little taller so Jessica took advantage of her height and rested her head against Yoona’s shoulder.

Yoona landed her lips on her forehead tenderly before Jessica cuddled closer to her. She glanced up and Yoona gave her the widest smile.

“You’ll be fine, trust me.”

“How do you know, Yoona?”

“Your heart will let you know the truth eventually.”

“What if the heart chose her?”

“I’d let you go. You love her for 20 years. That would be hard for me to fill it up.”

“You’re doing it now.”

“But I still want you to try to forgive her. She might have done a lot of wrong towards you and Irene but you’re the only bridge that can link Irene with Erika.”

“Why are you so nice towards us, towards my family?”

Yoona gave her the most sincere smile.

“I saw Erika over the 20 years. She had nobody. She was a loner and nobody wanted to be her friend. She has lost a lot in her life and that includes her family. She lost you, Irene, her father, her mother, her brother and her sister. Comparing you to her, she has a lot worse than you. God knows how much pain; how much torture and tormented she was living her life alone. And she’s sick now. I’m sure you understand why she refused to take the treatment. To her, since she’s alone, and even if she dies, nobody cares but she’s wrong.”

Yoona cupped Jessica’s cheeks gently in her palms. Their foreheads touched lightly.

“I want her to take responsibility of her mistakes and live her life correcting them. Her biggest mistake is towards Irene. Your daughter deserves something more than just this.”

Jessica could finally see what Yoona was trying to put out to her. And Yoona’s right. It was enough for Jessica to carry the burden all by herself. It was time for Taeyeon to assume her responsibilities as Irene’s Omma.

-

Taeyeon’s chest burned.  She had difficulties in breathing but lucky for her, Tiffany arrived in time to visit her.

“Taeyeon?!”

“Tiffany...”

Taeyeon was pale looking like as though her blood was drained out. But she managed to open the door to let Tiffany in which the latter took no time to hold on to her. Taeyeon almost collapsed.

“Where is your medicine?”

“It’s in the kitchen.”

“Hang on!”

Tiffany rushed to the kitchen and saw bottles of medicine. She took all of them and ran back towards Taeyeon. There was a bottle of water in her bag. She took it out as well. She helped Taeyeon with the medication and placed her down gently on the sofa.

Taeyeon was slowly recovering from her short attack.

“Are you feeling better?”

Taeyeon nodded weakly.

“Do you need anything else?”

“No, it’s okay. Thanks Tiffany.”

“No problem.”

Tiffany sat nervously at the edge of the sofa; glancing down to Taeyeon. The woman she used to hate was in so much pain earlier on and Tiffany suddenly was afraid Taeyeon might just die if she didn’t come earlier.

“Why are you staying alone? You’re sick. You need someone to be with you.”

“Yoona went out. I’m fine. I didn’t eat lunch today.”

“Why didn’t you eat?”

“I don’t have any appetite.”

“You’re still concerned with Soo Yeon and Irene?”

Taeyeon nodded. There was a painful expression in her eyes and they got all teary again. Tiffany felt sorry for her. But Taeyeon’s voice jolted her back to her senses.

“Tiffany?”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m just visiting.”

“Is there a reason?”

“Well, yes I have.”

Tiffany wanted to meet Taeyeon to confront her but seeing the poor woman in that condition; Tiffany felt pitiful instead.

“What is it?”

“You know I hated you, right?”

Taeyeon chuckled softly and nodded.

“Yes, I know you’re so mad at me that you might kill me.”

“That was before.”

“Oh?”

“Now I just feel sorry for you.”

Taeyeon smiled and pulled herself up slowly. Tiffany sprung onto her feet and helped her. Once Taeyeon has settled down comfortably, Tiffany sat next to her.

“You used to be a woman with everything. You used to be confident; proud and people would turn to look at you wherever you went. All the ladies went crazy over you.”

“You were so jealous of me when Soo Yeon got closer to me, right?”

Tiffany nodded.

“How long have you been in love with her, Tiffany?”

“Well, Yuri came around and saved me. I still love Soo Yeon but more like sisterly kind of love.”

Taeyeon nodded.

“I haven’t thank you for watching over them. I can never show how grateful I am towards you for raising Irene up well.”

Tiffany shook her head.

“Your daughter has always been sensible. She seems to be aware of her surroundings since she was a child. You’re lucky to have Irene.”

Taeyeon’s tears fell immediately. She was regretting her actions. Why did she run away? Why didn’t she just be brave and face the music? Whatever it would bring to her; she should try her best to overcome the obstacles. Now, she cannot get them back anymore.

She has lost them.

“Taeyeon, don’t cry. It’s not too late yet.”

“They hate me, Tiff.”

“No, they don’t. They’re just confused and vulnerable. You should give them some time and while you’re doing that, you should get yourself treated.”

“I need a new heart to survive.”

“But you can undergo some treatments right?”

“I’m just scared it would be too painful to bear. I don’t have anyone.”

“Who said so? You have Yoona.”

Taeyeon cried further at the mention of her good friend.

“Yoona has done nothing but the best for me. I feel obliged towards her. I don’t have the heart to steal Soo Yeon away from her.”

“About the relationship, let Soo Yeon decide. But I just want you to know that you still have me, Sunny-shi and many more that are supporting you. Even Yuri is on your side. We’re not going to allow you to sit around and wait for death this way. If you want them back, you have to be tougher than this.”

Taeyeon sat there in silence. She has everyone’s support. They were even rooting for her to win Soo Yeon and Irene back.

So what the hell was she wasting her time for?

-

Soo Young slipped her hands into her pockets. Her encounter with Irene earlier on bothered her a lot. Irene even refused to look at her; let alone talk to her. She sighed softly. If only she knew.

She closed the door behind her as she gripped her bag tightly. She was on the way home but her mind was filled with thoughts of Irene and Erika. She walked towards her car with heavy snow falling from the sky. It was a beautiful view but Soo Young was too focused on her worries that she didn’t realize someone else was waiting for her.

It was when she looked up, she realized Irene was waiting for her; standing beside her car.

“Irene?”

“Hi Professor Choi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I – I was waiting for you.”

“What? It’s freezing cold out here. Come, let’s get inside the car. Your lips are purplish!”

Soo Young grabbed her car keys and quickly unlocked her car. She opened the passenger door for Irene before gently hoisted her in. She dumped her bags in the back seat and ran towards her driver seat. Without hesitation, she the heater and even took her gloves to put on Irene’s. She then proceeded to remove her shawl and wrapped it around Irene’s neck.

“There, are you feeling better? You were shivering just now!”

“Professor Choi....”

Soo Young saw the pain in Irene’s eyes. It was so heart-wrenching to watch a smart and jovial Irene turned into a big mess; a confused and heartbroken Irene was not what Soo Young was expecting. It hurt her a lot too.

“Irene, what is it?”

“Professor Choi, I – I’m sorry for what I said earlier on.”

Soo Young shook her head and assured Irene that she was not offended.

“I can understand why you reacted like that.”

“I was really confused and probably half mad at her for turning up only after 20 years.”

“I know, Irene. I know you are.”

“It’s too difficult to accept it. She was really nice; caring and warm towards me when I was doing internship at her company. I’ve always thought she was the nicest woman I’ve ever met after my god mothers and Mommy. I was impressive with her and admired her so much.”

Irene started tearing up and Soo Young’s heart ached when she saw tears falling. She gently wiped them away; Irene was sniffing and sobbing.

“I was so crushed; my heart sank when I overheard their conversation that night. Mommy was right beside me and she was too shocked to move. She just stared into the house while my mind was twirling and whirling; hoping it would just be a nightmare for me. But I couldn’t shake it off when I realized it was the truth that I cannot avoid or erase.”

Soo Young nodded. She understood. And she was keeping quiet; taking her time to listen to whatever Irene wanted to lash out.

“I hate her. But yet I don’t. You know what I mean?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a love-hate relationship that I have with her. I’ve been fighting with my conscience and sometimes I wanted to forgive her for Mommy’s sake but then again, I suddenly thought of the pain and tormented childhood I had because of her; because she broke Mommy into two; I just couldn’t do it. I felt it was so unfair that she got away and I had to deal with Mommy’s wrath for almost 20 years.”

“Irene..”

“Please tell me if this is unfair for me.”

“It is. I won’t lie about that.”

“Then why did she return now? What does she want from me?”

“She doesn’t want anything except for your forgiveness.”

Irene then spat out.

“That is the hardest thing for me to give it to her so easily.”

Soo Young noted that mentally. She knew Taeyeon had to do more than just seeking for her daughter’s forgiveness. She had to prove to Irene that she wants her back in her life.

-

Taeyeon was sleeping on the sofa. Tiffany had left after the long talk. She needed rest anyway. While she was sleeping, someone came to visit her. The person was staring down at her before settling next to her.

That fateful person gently caressed Taeyeon’s cheeks before running her fingers through Taeyeon’s hair. Her soft gentle touch lulled Taeyeon into a deep slumber. It was extremely difficult for that person to express her feelings but she knew she had to.

With her quivering lips, she softly uttered her first few words.

“Kim Taeyeon, I miss you.”

A soft kiss landed on Taeyeon’s forehead.

It was comforting enough for Taeyeon to sleep with a smile on her face; thinking it was just a dream; a one sweet dream with Soo Yeon in it.

-