+++

Deshi kicked and pushed as Chun tried to slip a clean t-shirt over him. It was already taking over 30 minutes. That morning it had taken Chun 10 minutes to change his diaper and the rest to change him into clean clothes. Deshi was crying loudly as he refused Chun’s assistance. Chun already felt stressed out enough as it was almost time to drop Deshi off at the Day Care and go to work. He didn’t want to be late again.

“Can’t you just wear the damn shirt?” Chun asked about to give up gripping the shirt tightly in his hand and shaking it out of frustration.

Deshi’s teardrops were so large it made Chun think he’d make a puddle on the couch. Chun sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Ok…ok just be a good boy,” Chun said grabbing the chubby Deshi off the couch and onto his lap.

Chun pressed his small head against his chest to comfort him and soon Deshi had stopped sobbing. After calming Deshi down Chun quickly slipped his shirt over his small spherical head, opened the door and headed for the Day Care Center.

He parked his car and grabbed Deshi out of the car seat that Chun had tightly secured in the back. Deshi hugged him tightly with a blue sailing hat on the top of his head. He smiled at the other parents that had come together to drop off their children when they waved at him. Inside he found Genie already playing with the other toddlers. Chun always handed Deshi to Genie. He guessed he trusted her more because she was the in charge of the place. However, that day she had a stern smile on her face, but was friendly as always.

“Just wait right here and I’ll be back,” Genie instructed.

Chun was already aware that Deshi cried the whole day when he wasn’t there but what could he do? He needed to leave Deshi there where someone would at least take care of his son whenever he was out of sight. In a moment Genie came back with a petite lady. She had hair flowing over her shoulders, a chubby face, wide eyes, straight nose, and high cheek bones making a happy face. She was the ideal type of girl he’d wanted to date in high school, but they were always playing around or they already had boyfriends. Something about her seemed very familiar then it came flying back to him.

“You!” he said.

Genie raised her eyebrows.

“You took my baby home last night,” Chun accused.

“Nice to see you again,” Selina greeted.

Chun frowned at her.

“I think Deshi really likes her,” Genie commented, “she’s the only one he enjoys being with.”

“What does that have to do with taking care of him?” asked Chun.

“He doesn’t cry,” Genie happily pointed out. “Aww…see he already wants her.”

Chun looked down to see Deshi smiling at Selina.

“I hope you don’t date him when he gets older,” Chun said.

Selina reached out for Deshi, “Well isn’t your father mean? It’s a good thing you’re cuter than him. Isn’t that right?”

Selina shook Deshi’s little hand. Chun immediately already felt a little happier to see that Deshi wouldn’t be crying though he tried not to show it. Pride was first priority, always.

“Are you sure you’re not a couple?” Genie asked as she eyed them closely.

“Yes!” they half yelled and half said together.

Chun and Selina turned to each other. Chun decided to go back on his words about liking her. Though he had no reason to dislike her Chun felt more comfortable with being mean toward her.

“I hope you can take good care of him,” Chun said and turned around to leave.

“What a stuck up,” Selina remarked. “He must be a person who thinks he’s all this and that.”

“I believe you two will start going out again later,” Genie commented.

“What do you mean again? Are you crazy?” asked Selina.

“That might explain why Deshi is so attached to you,” Genie told.

“I never slept with anyone,” Selina told. “Here take the baby.”

“Wait…” Genie began, but Selina had already shoved Deshi into her arms.

Deshi looked up at her and began to cry immediately.

“Selina! I will fire you if you don’t come take him,” Genie threatened.

Selina bit her lip. She didn’t want to be mentioned as the mother of Deshi. What if a handsome guy came by? He wouldn’t want to ask her out and she didn’t want to lose the chance of getting a boyfriend. She was already slightly getting older already. Selina pressed her lips together and marched back.

“What is wrong with you?” Selina asked Deshi as he calmed down in her arms. “Your dad should also pay me for taking care of you, you stubborn boy.”

Deshi laughed in response. Selina sighed and sat down.

+++

“Do you want to have coffee together?” Kim asked as she stopped by Chun’s desk.

She gave him a flashy “Wanna go out with me?” look. Chun cleared his throat and grabbed the binder out of her arms.

“No thanks,” he told.

“What about your baby? Does he miss me?” Kim questioned.

“Didn’t he cry the whole 3 minutes he was with you?” questioned Chun.

Kim smiled then laughed, “But the little boy’s so cute. Day…dee…um…”

“Deshi,” Chun corrected. “Now if you wouldn’t mind…”

Chun gestured toward his pile of binders. Kim smiled and waved as she walked away. It had been more than a dozen times that his co-workers had tried to date him. He found it impossible to date anymore. Doubts always came flying to him. He couldn’t trust anyone. He was always worried about if that person loved him would she also love his son? Deshi was his whole world and maybe he wasn’t ready to share Deshi yet. However, he was always bothered by the thought. Thoughts of would Deshi be able to grow up without a mother? He knew the world was a cruel place. Deshi would be made fun of if he didn’t have a mother. Would he be bullied? Get into fights?

+++

“I can’t man, I’m sorry,” Jiro apologized over the phone.

He’d been there for Chun always. When Chun needed help Jiro would do his favors. Jiro babysat Deshi, ran errands for Chun, bought milk for Deshi, and even during Chun’s worst time Jiro also provided them with food.

“My grandma’s really sick. I’m at the hospital already,” Jiro told. “No…I’m already out of the city. Sorry.”

+++

Chun sighed as he hung up. Who else would baby sit Deshi? He’d run out of friends a long time ago. It was only Jiro who had stuck with him. Chun slipped on his jacket and walked out of the office.

The Day Care had not closed yet making him feel relieved. He didn’t want to have to run around like yesterday. Inside he found Deshi on Selina’s lap playing with some other toddlers. Deshi was fumbling around with a piece of cube clumsily dropping it onto the ground because of his uncoordinated hands. At first he wasn’t able to sit with other toddlers because of his crying, but Chun felt surprised to find Deshi so clam and happy.

Selina looked up to find a tall figure towering over them.

“Daddy’s here,” Selina said to Deshi, who wasn’t paying any attention to her at all. Selina got up from the ground and walked toward Chun.

“He didn’t cry today?” asked Chun.

“Nope,” came Selina’s response.

“Good boy,” Chun said as he reached for Deshi, but he turned his head away and leaned against Selina.

“Oh no. Come on I’ve got to go home too,” Selina exclaimed wondering if she should pry his hands off her shirt.

“Deshi,” Chun said as he forcefully grabbed Deshi.

He gave a small squeal causing the others in the room to look over. Selina gave a slight shriek and Chun noticed that Deshi had taken a hold of her hair. Chun quickly let go of Deshi as he re-clutched Selina’s shirt again. He felt frustrated, yet glad that Selina hadn’t dropped him just because he grabbed her hair.

“Oh geez…what do I do now?” Chun questioned.

“But you’re his father…you should know,” Selina told.

Chun pressed his lips together, “No choice…I have to take you home with me.”

Selina’s jaw dropped.