“Ella,” Hebe said putting her hands on both Ella’s shoulders looking directly into her eyes, “you’re thinking too much.”

With that Hebe turned around and grabbed a cookie out of the cookie jar and started to chew it.

Ella thought for a moment and all the thoughts swirled into her head. Deshi, Chun, and from the time she’d left them. Also the time they’d re-entered her life because of Selina. Why had everything been linked to Selina? Was she feeling resentment toward her own friend? What kind of a friend was she to hate another friend of hers that had always been by her side? Ella came to the short conclusion that she was not a good person. Then thought Chun would have done better without her being with Deshi. He had been strong in raising her son. He’d a done a job she’d given up. What was she to herself? She was so confused about what she wanted and the kind of person she was.

“Ella why are you zoning out?” Hebe questioned.

“I’m not sure if I want to marry Calvin anymore,” Ella stated.

“What? Are you crazy? But he’s everything you’ve been looking for,” Hebe told. “You aren’t just going to leave him behind because of some doubt you’re having.”

Before she could go on Selina opened the apartment door and closed it behind her. Her face looked flushed.

“Look who’s here,” Hebe said.

Selina smiled as she looked over.

“What’s going on?” asked Selina going over to them and taking a seat.

“Calvin’s mom took me to look at the hotel room reserved for our engagement banquet,” Ella told quickly before Hebe could explain.

“Really? How was it?” asked Selina. “Does it look like one of those huge rooms you’ve always wanted to celebrate in?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t go without one of those rooms,” Ella told then turned to look at Hebe.

Hebe could see the pleading look in Ella’s eyes telling her not to tell Selina what they’d just talked about. Hebe wanted to ask why, but knew better than to do so.

“And what’s gotten our princess looking miserable?” Ella asked diverting the subject.

“I look miserable?” Selina asked.

“Of course you do. Your face looks like a glum plum that’s been stepped on,” Hebe joked.

Selina made a face.

“Do you like someone?” Ella asked then slapped herself inside her head.

Why did she ask that? She felt she didn’t want to hear the answer that would be coming from Selina.

Selina was silent then started, “Well I guess it’s no used not talking about it. That baby they’re making me take care of…I know Hebe you said to stay away from his father, but I can’t help it. I really like him, but I’m sure he dislikes me.”

Ella looked up from the table a small smile curving her lips. She’d felt Selina had attraction toward Chun, but now hearing that Chun could dislike her gave her a small hope. In what? In winning him back? In breaking Selina’s heart? Was that a good or bad thing for her? Ella’s smile died.

“Did you tell him?” asked Hebe.

“Yea…but I have a feeling he wants to ignore me,” Selina told.

“Why would he?” Ella asked anxiously.

Was it because of her? Was it because she was Selina’s friend?

“Oh well it doesn’t matter. I can still count on his friend,” Selina told.

“His friend?” Hebe repeated. “What friend?”

“Jiro,” Selina answered. “He already told me he fancies me so if things don’t quite go the way I want then I can turn to him.”

Ella could tell the smile on Selina’s face was a mistreated one. Selina didn’t want to smile was what Ella realized. The thought of Jiro scared her. What if Jiro liked Selina and Chun liked Selina? Just like how it had happened to her? If Selina chose Jiro in the end then maybe Ella could quietly go back to Chun…wouldn’t that work just right? In any way everything that would happen sounded wrong.

+++

Chun turned around to make sure Deshi was sitting on the ground then turned around and opened the door. Jiro stood there smiling with some take outs.

They ate silently in the kitchen with Deshi sitting in his high chair. Some cooked noodles sat on a plate in front of him. His fingers were messy with a color of brown and his mouth was smeared. Chun sat quietly eating his food and Jiro glanced at him every so often. As Chun finished up he grabbed a napkin and reached over wiping Deshi’s mouth then his fingers.

“You’re itching to talk. What is it this time?” asked Chun.

“You know me well don’t you?” Jiro questioned.

Chun gave Jiro an amused look then turned back to Deshi.

“Regarding Selina…” Jiro said emphasizing each word.

Jiro watched as Chun stopped what he was doing, but had not yet turned to face him. Glad that he’d caught Chun’s attention Jiro decided to go on.

“I heard Selina’s going back to Hong Kong,” Jiro told.

Chun turned around to look at Jiro. Jiro could tell that there was a sense of hurt in Chun’s eyes.

“Well…she might go,” Jiro restated. “Who’s going to watch Deshi?”

Chun hadn’t moved an inch.

Jiro smiled and patted Chun’s shoulder, “I’m just kidding. You don’t have to look so serious.”

Chun took a gulp of air and looked away as if annoyed.

“Chun I know what Selina feels. I don’t have to be a girl to understand it,” Jiro explained. “If you don’t hurry up and Selina turns to me don’t regret it later on. You have what it takes to get her. Unless you want your past to come back and haunt you forever right now Selina’s thinking you hate her.”

“Me? Hate her?” Chun asked surprised.

Jiro smiled, “Of course you don’t. You’re as much attached to her as Deshi is. Don’t compare your handsomeness to me because you can’t beat me, but anyway before you lose this chance that even Deshi wouldn’t give up pull yourself together.”

Chun couldn’t bring himself to think of anything to say. Everything was so sudden, so unexpected. Jiro was always so good to him.

“Are you an angel from heaven in disguise as a man?” Chun questioned.

Jiro burst out in laughter.

+++

Ella lay in bed on her side staring at the dark wall. Was this regret she was feeling now? Something she was sure would never come to her, but now was feeling it? Looking back know she could see all the mistakes she’d made. She was never committed to having a child, but being with Chun. After having the baby her view of the world changed. Everything just got harder all of a sudden and she couldn’t face it. The shame and the embarrassment of having a child before marrying. She wouldn’t be able to face her parents or her family. But at least Chun had taken responsibility. Wasn’t that enough for her? Ella felt angry at herself and felt hot tears slide down her cheek.

+++

Chun sat quietly on the cement while the other guys sat down for their breaks. Chun stared at the starlit sky and thought maybe Selina would like star gazing too. He recalled back to the memories of when Genie had thought they were a couple and they both had shouted at her. From the start after he’d started teasing her, having her stay to baby sit, having her cook for him, when Selina was able to dress Deshi, and all the moments he’d been so close to her he could feel her warm breath. Maybe from all those endless moments he’d already let himself fall. Jiro was right. He should really pull himself together. It wasn’t a girl’s job to confess, yet Selina had had the guts to do it. Before he would lose his chance to hold her he knew he would think of something to bring Selina back.

Chun rushed back to the apartment after work, took a three hour nap, woke up, finding that Jiro was gone Chun dressed Deshi, and found a cool looking outfit for himself. It didn’t matter if Selina arrived late or early to the Day Care he would wait for her and meet her.   

+++

Selina got up lazily making sure to take all the time she had. She shouldn’t be in a hurry anymore. Hebe opened the door slightly to find that Selina was still combing her hair in front of the mirror. Hebe rolled her eyes and closed the door.

“How long has she been combing her hair?” Ella asked from the table still eating her breakfast.

“It’s been exactly 8 minutes,” Hebe replied glancing at her watch.

“Does she like…him that much?” Ella asked making sure Chun’s name wouldn’t come out of .

“I don’t know,” Hebe replied then eyed Ella, “you don’t have anything with him do you?”

“What?” Ella sat up straight. “Why would you ask me that?”

From Ella’s laugh Hebe could tell that she was a bit nervous, but hid it well.

“Make sure Selina doesn’t make you late,” Ella told as she got up and set the dishes in the sink, “I’ll be going now.”

Hebe watched as the door closed. Ella was weird. Did she think Hebe had not seen the strange smile on her face yesterday? Hebe found Ella’s decision to not getting engaged with Calvin anymore suspicious. He gave her everything she wanted and now she was backing out? It wasn’t just some simple doubt that was filling her. Hebe figured Ella was facing something more serious. Was it something that would destroy her?  

+++

Genie frowned at Chun as he stood in front of her holding onto Deshi. He’d come quite early to drop Deshi off and yet he had not gone for work.

“You look…different today,” Genie commented.

Chun smiled hoping Genie wouldn’t be able to read him like a book.

“Shouldn’t you be going to work?” Genie asked.

“Well,” Chun cleared his throat, “I want to stay with Deshi for a while.”

“I guess that’s a good idea,” Genie told then glanced at her watch.

It had gotten later than usual and Chun hadn’t left. She decided on the fact that he was up to something.

“Selina you’re here!” Genie exclaimed a few minutes later as the door gently opened and closed.

Chun turned around abruptly. He could feel Selina’s eyes land on him and watched as she reluctantly walked over. Deshi wailed happily reaching his arms out. Selina reached for him silently and Chun watched as Deshi turned around to smile at him. Chun smiled back and his hair.

“Wait for me until I come back,” Chun told.

Selina wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or to Deshi. She decided he was talking to Deshi because why would she wait for him?

“I’m talking to you,” Chun said.

Selina turned and their eyes locked.

“Make sure Selina doesn’t go anywhere,” Chun told as he turned to Genie who nodded then Chun turned back to Selina. “I’ll see you later.”

Selina watched with a questioning expression as Chun walked through the door. What did he want with her now? Did he want her to babysit Deshi?

“Got something going on?” Genie asked with a smirk.

“What’s going on?” Selina asked.

Genie shrugged and walked off. Deshi clutched onto Selina’s shirt with his thick fingers and laughed.

“What’s gotten into you?” Selina frowned.

+++

Jiro did not visit as usual that day. Instead he sat inside his office staring out the window into the street. Cars passed by every few seconds. Couples and individuals crossed the street going on dates or heading for work. He’d put all his hopes on Chun, he always did. Chun and Ella now Chun and Selina. There was something about Chun that drew you to him.

There was a knock on the door.

“Yes?” Jiro asked.

“Are you not going out today?” asked his assistant.

“I’m not,” Jiro replied.

“Would you like me to order lunch for you?” asked the assistant.

“Why not,” Jiro told.

+++

Selina and Deshi passed the soft cushioned ball back and forth between them. Selina laughed each time Deshi gave a high pitch squeal when the ball reached him. He was just so cute Selina thought. Time had neared to when Chun would be coming back. She wanted to know why he wanted her to wait. Was he angry because she’d left yesterday leaving Deshi behind? Selina turned to look at the door then turned back around to Deshi. Selina put her thumb under his mouth to wipe the saliva that was dripping down his chin. Selina sighed and rubbed the top of his head gently.

“Hi baby!” Chun said from behind.

Selina turned around to look at him surprised.

“I was talking to Deshi,” Chun explained.

“Well…obviously,” Selina replied and got up.

“You carry him,” was more of an order from Chun than a request.

“But…” Selina began.

“We’re going back to my apartment,” Chun replied.

“Who says I’m going?” Selina asked.

“You don’t want to celebrate Deshi’s birthday?” Chun asked.

Chun gleamed at how gullible Selina was. He was partially glad that she was already pouring so much love on his little boy.