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#GTae

 

 

Taeyeon’s POV

 

 

“Jiyong…” I started off. I know something’s off with him. I could feel it because if he’s fine, he’ll talk about useless things, he would tease me or do random things like running around the grassy field. But look. He’s so silent and it’s weird. The last time he acted like this was when I suddenly cut him off by telling that he’s not my friend.

 

He opened his eyes and his brown orbs were directing into my mine. “Hmm?”

 

I didn’t talk. I knew better. I just looked at him. He’s Kwon Jiyong. The more you ask him, the more he wouldn’t speak. You don’t have other choices but to wait and let him open up itself.

 

He looked away and inhaled the fresh breeze. I just stayed silent. And then finally, after a long period of uncertainty, he sighed, like losing up everything.

 

I looked at our two miniatures who were happily running around. We are just waiting for a the perfect time to go fishing and horse backriding. This place felt more relaxing and alive by the giggles and laughters that echoes to the whole place by the twins.

 

I am his friend. I maybe disagreed at first on his relationship with Kiko ‘cause who would be on their right mind to accept the person who once or many times tainted your life? That was really crazy. But I am his friend and so as crazy as it might sound, I tried to understand him.

 

He was in love…

 

And I don’t have a stop for that.

 

“You know what?” he started. “When I met Kiko, I know I was in for something deep again. What you’ve done left a temporary trauma to me, Taeyeon. I tried to avoid her since the feeling was scary. It was written all over, her face screams danger. But no, I was swayed with the feeling and liked her even though I knew she’s just playing with me.”

 

I leaned back and listened to everything Jiyong had to say. I wanted to listen to this though it sends me flashback from where we started to when we ended up improperly. Some of Jiyong problem’s starting line are on the day I left him, and I can’t help but to blame myself a little.

 

“I was brokenhearted and stupid. I know she was using drugs already. I tried to refused her attempts first but when I accidentally drank her glass of beer, I didn’t knew she poured something into it. Then I continued using. It was like my emotional dumpsite. Everytime I feel sad, lonely and defeated… it all vanished just by its magical powder,” he said and looked up at the sky as if remembering what happened. “Little did I know that it would all backfire to me. A media caught me pouring some powder on my drink one night at the club. The company paid that witness enough to shut him up and have his early retirement. But bulls really do happen. The rumors, or the truth spread out like a fire. The company, my family, my members talked to me and then I realized who really Kiko is. I ended things between her. Crazy, right?”

 

I was trying hard not to show any emotion. I know he doesn’t want to look pitiful to me. He’s a man of pride and confidence. No place for pitying.

 

I thought leaving Jiyong was the best option in life I could offer to him, but what happened was the opposite than what I am expecting.

 

When he refused to marry me, I had no other choice on my mind but to leave him. I was really confident that night that he’ll be so happy to say yes, but no. I was disappointed. I knew it’s unreasonable of me to leave Jiyong but it was for the best. It never came up on my mind even that the twins would meet him ‘cause I planned it all along. I invested it.

 

“And now, history’s repeating itself, Taeyeon.”

 

“Ji…” I said. “Ssshh… Stop it, already.”

 

He smiled. “It’s not that easy, Tae. If falling out of love is as easy as saying stop, then where’s the thrill? That’s the thing with love. When you fall, you fall. There’s no telling when you would be able to stop… or if you would be able to stop at all.”

 

I breathed out and held his cheek. “I’m always right here, okay? When these are all too much to bear, remember, you still have me.”

 

He smiled. “I know.”

 

The twins came running and then pulled us out from the mats.

 

“Mommy! Daddy! Let’s go catch a big fish!”

 

“Thanks, Taeyeon,” I smiled at him. “How can I ever repay you?”

 

“Just be happy. Find yourself a woman who’ll make you happy.”

 

 

 

 

As a child. I always dreamed of the perfect love story. A man who will love me and always be there for me everytime I need him. The one who will cross the ocean ‘cause I called him. I always asked and wished for the most unrestrained love story there is.

 

True enough, I got my prince charming. But our love wasn’t the most charming love I could have.

 

There were days when I wished that I’m in love with different person, so we wouldn’t have the complicated relationship like I have with Baekhyun. I love him, I know that much but I also knew I didn’t have that much patience within me. I understand, we are both busy, people doesn’t like us to be together and all.

 

It’s been a month since our comeback of Mister Mister and I only got a chance to see Baekhyun twice a month every SM Town concert since December and now, it’s already March!

 

It may sound absurd but Jiyong and I spent the holidays together. Since Jiyong still doesn’t want me to take the kids from him—which I found maddening ‘cause it still makes me think that he still doesn’t trust me—we spent Christmas on their house… as in with Kwon Eomma, Appa and Dami-eonnie, then celebrated New Year at Jeonju with my family though I didn’t let the three went outside the house.

 

Have I told you that Jiyong won the artist of the year at MAMA? Maybe he won by his yellow hair and all. He still looks handsome but funny at the same time. He really pulled off that sushi hair. EXO also won the song of the year. I saw them interacted on the stage. And thanks ‘cause the Sunbae-Hoobae relationship didn’t broke just because I am Baek’s girlfriend.

 

“When will you coming back here?” I asked him. After begging and pleading, finally. I get to talk to him. His manager always answers my call.

 

“In three days, Noona. Please be patient. I, too, doesn’t want to be away from you but I have to finish everything…” he said.

 

And now the table turned. I felt guilty. Why do I love him so much?

 

I sighed. “Sorry,” I muttered. “Sorry for being so needy, Baek.”

 

“No, no,” he said. “I promise to make it up to you when I get back. Sorry for always being absent, Taeks. I just have too much on my plate right now,” he expounded. “When I get back, we will start again for the comeback and the world tour.”

 

“Alright, Baek. Finish everything there. Celebrate my birthday with me, alright?”

 

“Of course, I will.”

 

“Can’t wait to see you,” I said.

 

“See you in three days, Taeks.”

 

And then we bid our good byes.

 

Every second we’re apart, my heart yearns for him. Even though everyone around me is telling me that there’s more guy aside from him, in the end, it’s beside him where I wanted to be the most.

 

I should be happy ‘cause I’m in love, but look, I can feel the problem more than our love. It wasn’t fun at all.

 

I went out of my room after I talked to Baekhyun and then there, I found Jiyong sitting on the sofa like he owns it. While the twins were on the floor.

 

“Why are you here? How did you get here? I was about to go to your place,” I said.

 

“I bumped with Hyoyeon at the parking lot. Then gave me the passcode,” he said. “She said they’ll be home late.”

 

I shook my head and headed towards the kitchen as I took the bags they brought. Of course, foods.

 

“For a change, Taeyeon. I’ll bring the twins to you,” he said and leaned back on the sofa then put his feet on the table.

 

I looked at him.

 

And laughed.

 

“I don’t know what’s with Kiko, Tae. She said she’s here, but she doesn’t want me to come to her.”

 

Should I talk to Kiko?

 

Of course, I don’t want it. It’s not that I am afraid to be slapped again. It’s just. Her face, her presence is nerving already. And what she was doing to Jiyong is improper. I might not just slap her. I might punch her face and make her lips bleed.

 

“Why don’t you follow her around? Just ask her if where she was and tell her that you are away from town, but the truth is you will follow her around and discover on what makes her so busy,” I suggested, to make me sound like I am interested in Kiko's issue.

 

“That’s what I’m planning to do. Anyway, I haven’t seen your boyfriend. Where is he? When will he come back?”

 

“In three days, he’ll come home for my birthday,” I beamed. Though Baek’s is as busy as an ant, he’ll still try to make it on my birthday! He’s still the best.

 

He nodded. “Right.”

 

“Come on my birthday, alright? After the concert birthday, there’ll be an after party at the bar,” I invited him. “It’s small party with my closest friends.”

 

I sat next to him and placed the bowl of jelly beans on the table.

 

He placed his hand on my head. “I can’t, Taeyeo