Chapter 18: The Start

“I can’t do this.” Jaeun whispered as L’s car parked in front of her condominium unit building.

L looked at her with worried eyes. Somehow, he knew this would happen. He knew Jaeun. It’s hard for her to admit what she feels for him because she has someone else and it’s not easy to just throw away that one person who made her feel special for a long time.

Jaeun sighed and looked at him. “Mr. Kim, you can’t be with me.” She beamed making L flinch. “Please, don’t do this.” She begged.

L sighed and took her hands. “You feel something for me.” He told her with much conviction in his voice. He knows it. She likes him in one way or another. She responded to his kisses. She didn’t slap him or anything. She likes it. She likes him. And he knows it.

Jaeun shut her eyes and sighed. “I don’t.” She denied with her heart beating really fast with every stare that L throws at her.

“You do.” L stated. “I can feel your heart beating really loud when we were close. I can even hear your heartbeat from here.” He pointed out. “You like me. I like you too. End of discussion.”

“But-“

Jaeun’s words were cut when L’s lips caught hers for the hundredth time today. He never let her express her feelings. He never let her speak her mind out.

But somehow, the way that L’s lips are on hers, she could feel this certain spark. She didn’t see this as attraction. Or maybe it is attraction. But it’s not more than that. She’s attracted, she could admit that. But she doesn’t like him. She’s just overwhelmed that someone, other than her boyfriend, is showing interest in her.

It feels really different for Jaeun. But still, she couldn’t say that she likes him.

“You like me,” L stated as she cupped her cheeks and connected their foreheads. “Don’t stop yourself, Kwon Jaeun.”

“I have a boyfriend, Kim Myungsoo.” She replied. She wanted to remove L’s hands on her face but she doesn’t have the strength to do so. L’s drained every single mitochondrion in her body. She’s out of battery.

“I know,” L  breathed. “I know that ing fact and I’m still this drawn to you.” He told her as he smelled her scent. “Don’t you know how hard I tried to stop myself from falling for you? I tried so hard but I couldn’t help but fall. You’re such a strong magnet that you even managed to attract the same pole.”

He kissed her forehead. “I don’t like this as well, Kwon Jaeun.” He told her. “I don’t deserve to be the second choice because nobody ever does. But what can I do when the only best place I could ever achieve from the person I like is second place?” He asked making Jaeun gulp at how deep his speech is starting to go.

“I’d rather be your second than be anyone’s first.” He finished and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “Just don’t push me away, please.” He pleaded.

Jaeun shut her eyes. What has she gotten herself into?

--

“Why do you look like someone robbed your bank account?” Haneul asked Jaeun as the latter walked in their unit.

Jaeun sighed and sat in front of the dining table as Haneul prepared their dinner. “I really wish that it was what happened.” She beamed as she sighed heavily again.

Haneul eyed her friend. “What? Did you fight with Jin?” She asked.

Jaeun sighed. “I wish I just fought with him.”

Haneul’s eyes widened and sat in front of her friend. “Hey, what happened? Did you two break up?” She asked and Jaeun felt this certain stab in her heart.

Jin loved her with his all and now she just kissed her boss. How could she help herself from feeling guilty? She couldn’t. She won’t because she will never stop feeling guilty.

Jaeun sighed and contemplated on telling Haneul what really happened. How would her friend react on this one? She didn’t know. She’s too afraid to admit the fact