The Truth

Chapter 17B - Jessica

“You refused it?” My voice raised a bit. I couldn’t believe in what I just heard from him. How could something like this happened? My father actually didn’t refuse him in the first place. But…

Yul refused it.

For being a musician.

He nodded. “Or we won’t be like this now,” He said apologetically. “I’m young and so passionate about my dream back then. I couldn’t think well because he looked down on it. Music is my passion, Sica.”

“I know. You don’t have to explain it, Yul. It’s just too...” I didn’t know what to say and only sighed in the end.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could go to the past. I will unhesitantly take his offer,” he said.

“You shouldn’t, Yul.”

It wouldn’t change anything either. Past is in the past. And I knew. I had been in his position either, forced to choose between love and dream.

“Huh, why? I think you too want us to last.” I saw his raising eyebrow.

“I do. But music is all your passion, Yul. You’re a prodigy. You shouldn’t waste your talent only for a stack of paper sheets. Beside it’s all in the past.”

“I know that. But it really irks me, Sica.”

I moved closer to him and held his hands. “You do nothing wrong, Yul. I first started it. The first reason we’re like this now is because my dream.”

“Your dream?”

“Umm…hmm… I always want to be a fashion designer, Yul. Ever since I was just a teenager.”

“Okay,” he took his hands and positioned himself so he could see me better. “But I don’t get it, Sica. What’s the relation between your dream and our relationship? I told you how I first ruined it and I’ve known about your deal with your father too. Am I wrong?”

“No…no...no...No you’re right. All what you say is true. Only that’s not the beginning.”

“When is the beginning then?”

“It happened long before I met you.”

“What happened?” He looked at me.

***

“I’ve decided, Dad! I won’t do business!” All in my life, I always respected my father and that was the first time I shouted at my father in a high note.

“Is that your decision? Refuse all my suggestions and choose your ridiculous idea?” My father looked in disbelief.

“It’s not ridiculous.”

“It’s ridiculous to me. I’ve prepared everything for you, Sica. Everything! And now you want to throw it away? Isn’t it so ridiculous?”

“Is this about your company?”

My father didn’t answered immediately. I didn’t expect I would fight with my father like this. I imagined that he would go with my decision and support me like what he always did before. But it didn’t appear like what I thought it would be.

I was telling my father that I didn’t want to enter business major my father suggested but to enroll in fashion design instead. But my father didn’t seem listening to me instead starting to talk everything about business and his company. I was shouting because feeling so ignored and unappreciated about my opinion.

“Just tell me, Dad. Is it all about your company?”

“I just want the best for you, Sica.” My father’s voice softened. “Everything’s gonna be alright if you follow my suggestion.”

"No Dad. I have my own dream.”

“There are better things for you, Sica.”

“Maybe there is, Dad. But I want to pursue my dream and I’m willing take every risk and challenge to reach my dream. Everything."

He let out a sigh and sat on the chair.

“Sometimes you have to let go your dream for a bigger and better purpose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you understand how big our company is? How much people depends on us?”

“Don’t do this, Dad.” I understood what this conversation would lead to.

“I built and raised this company since I was young, Sica. Together with your Mom. I can’t let it go easily. And who I can trust it with? I want to trust you, Sica. You’re my oldest daughter. The only one I can trust.”

“There must be someone else,” I started to sweat, thinking every possible things I could do to persuade my father.

“Who?” He looked at me with his intensive look. “I only have two daughters.”

My mind immediately thought about my only sister. No. Not Krystal. I would not let my little sister carried the burden that wasn’t hers and gave up on her dream because of that. She have dreamed about being a singer for such a long time. It would be really unfair if she lost it because of my problem.

“You know Krystal always wants to be a singer. You won’t think about pushing your sister to this matter, right?”

“No. Of course not. Don’t bring up Krystal on this, Dad!”

“Then?”

“How about your relatives?”

“No,” he answered short and firm. “There are too many of them. It will only cause a chaos if I choose one of them.”

I sighed. I didn’t know anymore.

“So?”

“I don’t know, Dad! I don’t know!” I yelled in frustration. “I just want to reach my dream. Why you have to be this cruel to me? Why, Dad?” I started to tear up.

My father stood up, his hands on the back and approached the windows that showed the backyard.

“Stop crying. I have two choices for you.” He said after awhile.

I looked up at my father. “What is it?”

“Do the business and forget about your dream. Or.” He hesitated for a bit.

“Or what?”

“You can go for your dream only if you could find a man who is able to run the company later. If you couldn’t find the right person then you have to agree to marry the man I choose. This is the only way to leave the company safely,” he said matter-of-factly.

My eyes widened hearing my father’s words. It was hard for me to believe he gave those hard choices. Did he really have to go that far, I thought.

“I’ve said, Dad. I won’t take my own words.”

“Okay, then. Do anything you want. You can leave now.”

What I thought at that time was I had to reach my dream, no matter what. Because it will be such a waste if we have the ability but no willingness from the heart to sacrifice and struggle to reach the success we dreamed for.

***

“Do you still remember what I told you on our first anniversary?”

“Hmm? Yes, why?”

“I didn’t care about love before I met you. I didn’t believe it. Yet I was so obsessed to study fashion. My will to be a fashion designer was too big that I would do anything to reach it. I knew he wanted me to follow his step in business world, but just like you. I’ve never been interested in taking over a multinational company that he owns. So I have to refuse it. I told him about my choice.”

“And he disagreed?”

I exhaled tiredly. “Yes.”

“So what did you do?” he asked.

“Like I said, I would do anything at that time. I tried to persuade him but basically it failed. He kept talking about my responsibility to the company he built with Mom. Until he let me choose. To forget about my dream or to reach my dream only in one condition.” I paused and bit my lips.

I was not sure whether I should tell him about this. It would only make him blaming himself even more if he knew that even from the start my father would agree at anyone as long as he’s capable to handle his company.

“What is the condition, Sica?”

“I have to marry his choice.” I chose to lie. It wasn’t completely a lie at all, part of it was true. What happened now was like that anyway.

“Oh, right. And you chose the latter?”

I nodded.

“We are even then,” he laughed shallowly.

Not really, Yul. I almost completely disregarded about it at the time he forbid me to meet Yul anymore.

But then I chose the hell itself.

***

I had never felt something like this in my life before, not even with my ex-boyfriend. I loved my family and best friends of course, but that kind of love wasn’t something that could make me feeling butterflies on my stomach or make my heart beating much more faster than I could imagine. Only one person that made me like that. My boyfriend. Yeah, I liked to say it like that. A reminder that I was his and he was mine.

That, only this particular guy could make me like that.

Kwon Yul.

We started our relationship smoothly and continued making little memories day by day together. We were actually different. Both backgroun