Feeling Your Warm Again

Chapter 14

“I missed you, Sica. A lot.”

Yul finally found a courage to utter it out to the girl next to him. The latter was frozen there upon hearing his words. She didn’t know how to react right there. Her feelings were all mixed up. She did miss him too, but she was also feeling sad and guilty. He shouldn’t feel this way anymore to her. She would only bring a wound to him.

“Do you know how miserable these past six months for me?”

Yul turned his head and looked at the brunette girl. After realizing he was staring on herself, the latter immediately avoided his gaze. She didn’t dare to look at him and gaze into those sad eyes. It would only play her emotion even more.

“Look at me, Sica.” Yul said softly yet the girl still didn’t want to face him.

“Sica…” He put his hands on her cheeks, holding her face and lifted it up. The hands on her face sent a warm feeling to her body that she had never felt for months. She finally looked at his eyes. The brown orb eyes that she used to adore so much, that always sent a comfortable and cheerful feeling now looked very sad and lonely. She couldn’t hold her tears anymore.

“I’m sorry, Yul. I’m sorry.”

“Hey…Sica...don’t cry…” he tried to wipe her tears with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry, Yul…” She broke into cry.

Yul wrapped his arms around her and brought her head to his chest. He her hair gently, trying to soothe her. “Don’t cry, Sica. It’s okay. Don’t cry,” he said as he kept comforting her.

“I’m sorry.” In her cries, all Sica could mumble was sorry. She was really sorry for leaving him, for making him like this, but she couldn’t do anything about it, or rather didn’t do anything about it. There, she realized what she had done. That her decision was a wrong one that only brought pain, not only for her to bear, but for him too.

Yul’s shirt was already wet from her cries but he still hugged her tightly as the girl was still crying too. He kept her until finally she stopped crying. He unwrapped his arms from around her. He lowered his head to look at the shorter girl.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry anymore, hmm?”

“Sorry, your shirt is wet because of me,” Sica said between her sniff. Her eyes were swollen red, face was messy with her drenched make-up.

“Don’t worry,” he ruffled her hair. “Are you okay now?”

Sica nodded shyly. She missed how he put his hand on her head and moved her hair along, although it would become messy but his touch was something that she loved.

“Good as long as you’re okay.”

Sica nodded again as she combed her messy hair with her fingers and then she brushed her hands against her cheeks that was drained by her unstoppable cry before.

“How is umma…Yul?” She was hesitate to speak his name.

Yul smiled at the girl’s effort to start the conversation again.

“She is alright, only needs constant medicine consumption.”

“I heard she was hospitalized again. What happened?”

“She was stressed and it got bad on her health. She was worried about me I suppose. Fortunately she could be saved.”

“Oh, it’s relieving.”

“Yeah. I was really scared that she would leave me.”

“She won’t, Yul. She will live for a long time,” Sica tried to cheer him.

“I hope.”

“Believe it.” Sica said firmly.

Yul looked at her and smiled again. He was thankful that despite their relationship was already over, the girls still cared about his mother.

“Anyway…just forget what I said,” Yul spoke again.

Sica furrowed her brows.

“Just pretend that you’ve never heard it.”

“Huh?”

“I should not say that.”

“W-why?” Sica didn’t understand it. Did he not mean it?

“I don’t want to force my feeling for you. And you don’t have to be sorry. We already break up anyway. It just me that can’t move on from you,” he let out a shallow chuckle. “Yeah, pathetic me.”

“…”

“We should go home now. It’s already night. Umma will be worry.” And your husband too, Yul continued in his heart. He looked at her for the last time, she looked like she was thinking about something. But he shouldn’t prolonged this meeting. It would only hurt both of them.

“Come on.”

He just walked away a few steps when suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. It was so tight.

“Sica?”

“I missed you too, Yul.”

He didn’t respond anything but stood there like a statue.

“I really missed you, Yul.”

“…”

“I never want any of these, Yul. I never want to hurt you.” Sica said with her hoarse voice caused by her crying before.

“Sica…” Yul said softly.

“I’m so sorry, Yul. I’m really sorry.” Her tears started to escape from her eyes for the second time that night.

“So why did you leave me?”

“I…I have to, Yul. I’m sorry,” she spoke between her sobs.

He loosened her hands from his body and turned back, now face to face. “Do you still love me then?”

“W-what?”

She couldn’t answer it. She knew what she felt. She was conscious about her feeling for him. But although she knew she loved him, she couldn’t say it, she wouldn’t dare to tell the truth. Because it would just hurt him.

“You hear me. Do you still love me?”

“…”

“Answer me, Sica.”

“…”

“Please tell me,” he pleaded.

But still no answer.

He heaved a sigh.

But then Sica could feel a warm feeling on her chin that made her face lifted up. Soon the warm hands moved to cup her cheeks. Without realize a pair of soft lips already met hers. It was so soft and gentle. She had longed this warm lips for so long. The feeling that would tri