[Tae Bi's POV]

                “What? Are you serious? We’re heading there just to see those two people you hate the most?” Suga unleashed his anger after I told him about the current case of Peter and Charmaine. We’re in the backseat of a cab heading to Cha General Hospital in Gangnam. He still has no idea of the other problem that stung me: my homecoming without him. I was thinking of how to say it to him without hurting his feelings. I admit I’m already broken since dad asked me to come back home alone, but I don’t want Suga to feel the same once he hears this. I want him to remain happy and unaffected of my departure. Should I leave without leaving a note?

                Going to the hospital would be one of my delaying tactics. This would give me more time to think of the right words I could say to Suga later. This is also my way to stay by his side while I’m still here. How I wish I could stay longer with him alone. I didn’t mind his anger and just rested my head on his shoulder. I felt his shoulders relaxed, his hand on top of my hand. We both listened to the ballad music playing on the stereo and calmed ourselves despite the tempest in our hearts. I closed my eyes and swallowed all the tears I didn’t want to fall because surely, I won’t stop crying if I started it.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

                 Don’t bring the artist here. Your mom doesn’t like your relationship with the singer.

                 I couldn’t include those words in my dad’s image in my head. Why is it always hard to accept bad things that’s already given to you? What’s so wrong about my relationship with an artist? Aren’t they supposed to be happy because I am happy?

                “We’re here,” Suga whispered to me after what seemed to be a long drive. He paid the driver and we went out the cab. I could now feel the power of the cap we’re wearing. No one seemed to notice us so we walked in the hospital with ease and stopped by the admission section.

                I clenched my fist and thought for a moment if I could utter their names. Just thinking about them made me sick already. I don’t know what to say when I see them.

                “We’re looking for the patient Peter Woods,” I was surprised because Suga said it, not me. His face was serious and I found it scary. What would he do if he sees Peter? Taking him here was a wrong idea. No, going here is the worst idea I’ve ever made.

                The receptionist scanned the monitor hidden under the counter and kept on scrolling down. I got attracted by her curly brown hair flowing down under her shoulders and when I stared at her huge eyes, I realized that she’s a foreigner. I didn’t know what nationality, but her face doesn’t resemble Koreans’.

“He’s admitted in room 2003, 20^th floor, sir,” she smiled at us after speaking, as if being admitted in a hospital would bring joy to everyone.

“I thought he’s in ICU,” I slew her smile through my serious face. I knew it, she’s trying to act cute in front of Suga. Well, no one could do that while I’m alive.

                She got embarrassed and was trying to throw curse at me using her own facial expression, but she couldn’t do it because I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms.

                “Peter Woods and his companion were transferred to private rooms from the recovery room. The operation was successful. They are recommended to take a long and peaceful rest. But visitors are now allowed to see the patients.” There was a big change in the tone of her voice. At least, she’s not pretending to act cute and annoying anymore.

                “Are there visitors in his room right now?” Suga asked, and he seemed more curious than me.

                The nurse shook her head. “His co-workers in suits pay him a visit every evening only. The girl? Ms. Charmaine, is visited by people from a media company.  They just got here an hour ago. She’s in room 2012.”

                I didn’t ask for more or thanked her for entertaining us, I walked straight to the elevator and hit the up button. Suga followed and I didn’t care if he thanked the lady or not.

                “So it sounds like we’re the only visitors for those two this time,” he said, his hands inside his pockets.

                “We’re not visitors,” I replied before entering the elevator.

                We’re outside the door of room 2003. The hospital looked abandoned in this floor because we’re the only ones who walked along the corridor. I stared at my right hand closed around the doorknob. Peter is inside this room, looking pathetic for sure. I’m glad I didn’t feel sorry towards him even a fraction. But why am I not opening this door?

                “Are you alright with this?” Suga put his hand on my shoulder, there’s no anger in his voice anymore. He’s worried about me. He absolutely knows how disgusted I am right now to see these people again who destroyed the old me. And I absolutely understand why he’s furious about this sudden visit.

                “I am,” I tried to sound brave and pushed the door open.

                There he was, lying in his bed like dead, not until he slowly moved his head in our direction. I was aghast by how his face changed due to the accident. I wanted to turn around and ran away and cry. My teeth were clenched, but my eyes continued examining his face. Thick bandage wrapped the top of his head, his left eye was shut and crimson in color, his right ear were obviously cut off despite the bandage covering it. He won’t be recognized as Peter if not because of the sharpness of his nose and thin lips. I felt a sudden jolt in my heart at the view. The accident was really terrible. Part of me wanted to cry for him because a few stubborn memories we both made together emerged in my head. He used to be part of me.

                 He used to.

                That’s in past tense. I am standing in present, I should forget him - everything about him. He’s the cause of the cracks in my heart.

                 I replaced all those memories by recalling what I saw in Charmaine’s unit – the two of them lying in the same bed. Betrayal. Both of them are the definition of betrayal. I could feel my anger rising up in my head.

                “Stef,” he spoke, and I almost fall hearing his voice and my English name. His voice was pulling me back to our past. He sounded so weak, like he’s dying.

                I took Suga’s hand to give myself more amount of bravery and to fight this urge to attend to Peter. We walked closer to him, who was now looking at our holding hands. I kept my head high to show him I’m doing better than those days we spent together. Don’t call me bad because he deserves this.

                “Hi Peter,” I greeted, making my voice as much calm as possible. Thankfully, Suga wasn’t bothered by how tight I was holding his hand. He remained quiet beside me, but his eyes were seriously fixed on Peter, like he’s thinking of how to avenge me. “I have to say, it’s nice to see you like this.”

                Despite the pain his face was experiencing, he still managed to smirk at me and he closed his right eye, “You’ve changed, Stef. I don’t think it’s my fault that you became bad like that.”

                “You’re the bad here, not her,” Suga made his first move in the battlefield. I was ready for that. I couldn’t stop him because what he says is what I also say. “She didn’t change. She just learned how to be brave and stronger.”

                Peter’s smirk turned into a chuckle, like he’s insulting our words. He should keep on doing that because my compassion is quickly melting.

                “It’s your fault why your life ended up like this,” I said. He stopped from smiling and looked at me again with his right eye. I couldn’t see love anymore in his eye. He’s like a stranger to me again, and I hope it would stay like that forever. I’m sick of thinking of him. 

                “Did you come here to spit your rudeness at me?” he asked, his eyebrows were furrowed like he’s going to tear up. I’m surprised I couldn’t feel a percentage of pity towards him. So what if he cries like a baby? I would never dare to touch him or say a sweet word. He’s a monster, no matter how damaged his face or body is.

                “Yes, and to wish you a miserable life,” I showed a smile. “And by the way, I would like to thank you because you became the bridgeway for me to meet Min Yoon Gi.”

                I didn’t wait for his response and turned around to the door. Suga opened the door and he was the first to get out of the room. Before I could step out, Peter called me. I halted because his voice was like a hand on my wrist, stopping me from going.

                “I was the one who terminated your stall in Namsan,” he said, like he just stabbed a dagger in my back. I turned to look him in the eye with my fists clenched. “I ordered United Korea to finish your job in Namsan. I was the one who did it. I paid them.”

                “You moron!” I was going to kick his face but Suga grabbed me in the waist. My eyes were burning with anger after this revelation Peter made. How dare he? He just made his reputation worse. He didn’t just cheat on me, but he’s also the man behind the unexpected termination of my business. “You’re a monster, Peter Woods! Don’t ever call yourself a human because you don’t have a heart! You deserve more than those fractures, injuries, pains! I’ll bash your head!” My feet were flying and if Suga wasn’t strong enough to hold me, I’m pretty sure I could send Peter’s head away from this place.

                “Tae Bi, please, control your anger,” Suga whispered, and his voice begged me to stop because he’s hurting, too. I stamped my feet on the floor and removed his arms from me.

                “Just so you know,” Peter continued with his appalling show, he didn’t look at me and closed his eye again. If gouging out his other eye is not a sin, I would already have done that after entering this room. “I started dating Charmaine in secret a week after my dad died, that’s 4 years ago.” This is getting worse. I spent 4 years of my life in a dirty world. “You didn’t attend my father’s funeral; instead, you prioritize that useless volunteer work! There’s no one to comfort me that time, but Charmaine. Now, I wish you a frustrating life forever.”  

                I was ready to jump at him and strangle him with my own hands until he couldn’t breathe anymore. He just threw an insult at me, and I didn’t want it to pass unanswered. I took a step forward, but Suga held my hand. His touch brought out the bad intentions from me. If I kill Peter, it’s also the end for me. I’m not going to be bad, I would be a monster as well.

                I calmed my breathing before saying my last words to Peter Woods, “How sad to know that your wish will remain ungranted,” my voice was insulting and I managed a small smile. “And just so you know, I’m living a comfortable and happy life right now as you can see. What a pathetic life you have, spending your whole life remembering this meeting.”

                Peter’s eye opened, and that’s the last thing I saw before I walked out of the room.

                We were heading to room 2012, and it’s on the other side of the 20^th floor, far from Peter’s room. We happened to pass by the restroom, and I decided to take a break.

                “For a sec,” I told Suga and hurried in the restroom. I surrendered all the tears I kept since we arrived in this hospital. I was crouching in front of the sink, but I didn’t look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t want to see the brokenhearted Tae Bi. My eyes were completely shut due to my long cry. My dress’s bodice was drenched because of my tears and the water I used to wash my face.

                There’s no one to comfort me that time, but Charmaine.

                Somehow, I felt guilty after hearing those words. It’s my fault why Peter fell out of love and planned to leave me. I clearly remembered that day his father died and my job interview at United Korea. I texted Peter I would attend his father’s burial after my interview in the morning, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t tell me either that the burial was also scheduled in the morning, so it turned out that I missed the ceremony. He thought I prioritized the job over his father’s funeral. All of this because of misinterpretations. We are all to blame.

                I sat on the floor and continued sobbing. Thankfully, no one’s inside this quiet place but the sound of my cry.

                I started dating Charmaine in secret a week after my dad died, that’s 4 years ago.

                I covered my ears, hoping that this would help me ignore those sharp words from Peter. But it couldn’t because those words weren’t floating in the air, it’s stuck in my head already.

                “Hey,”

                I suddenly paused from crying when I heard Suga’s voice. His appearance just provided me hope. My mind suddenly thought of good things. He crouched in front of me and handed his handkerchief. I wondered what girls would do if they saw him here. It’s better not to care.

                “Come here,” he pulled me for a comforting hug and I continued to sob.

We stayed like that for a long time until my eyes grew tired of crying. The last tears containing my memories with Peter had fallen down to the ground. There will be no possibilities that it would return in my head. He is the one to blame, not me. If he’s a real man, he would discuss with me my absence in his father’s funeral, he shouldn’t have cheated because cowards do that. I told myself it’s the end for him.

We separated and stood on our feet. I kept his hankie in my pocket and tried to show a smile. I feel my strength coming from my anger again and Suga’s presence.

                “Are you alright?” he asked, patting my shoulder. His voice sounded worried.

                I just nodded. I didn’t know what to say.

                “Hey, what you did back there? It’s cool,” he said, trying to brighten up my mood. “I never knew you’re that brave and courageous. Even dragons would get scared of your words.”

                My smile got wider because of him, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I would never say those words to a dragon or any hideous creatures but Peter. Those came from my heart not from my mind. I’m surprised to know that my feelings are smarter than my own intelligence.

                We walked outside without being noticed by anyone because the floor was still empty, but we could hear noise from other floors.

                “Are we going home?” Suga asked me, but I shook my head and stopped from walking. He did too and watched me as I composed my own thoughts.

                “Thank you. Because of you I totally recovered that fast. I want you to know that I was able to say those words because of my love for you. You gave me the courage to fight and stand for myself.” I wanted to say next about my departure to States, but I think it’s not yet the right time. Besides, if I say that right now, I would cry again. I have to make myself look strong again because my next destination is Charmaine’s room.

                Suga hugged me again, and we would never get sick of embracing each other because it’s like transferring energy to the one who’s running out of strength.

                “I’m going to Charmaine,” I bluntly said, not showing a speck of weakness. “After that, we’ll leave this place.” And my remaining memories with those two people who caused contamination both in my brain and my heart.

                Suga held my hand and cheered for me silently. His face never failed to make me feel lighter.

                Before I opened the door to Charmaine’s room, I asked Suga a favor, “Can you wait here for 10 minutes?”

                “Yeah sure,” he agreed right away with no follow-up questions.

                “But in 10 minutes, come inside, okay?” I added. “And may I borrow your phone? I want to show her something.” I didn’t sound like I was giving orders to a servant. I would never see and treat him like that. He understands me regardless of my flaws and disorganized personality sometimes.

                “Yeah sure,” he said it again and handed me his phone with a sincere smile. “Just call my name if you need me even before 10 minutes pass.”

                I tiptoed to give him a kiss then, I went inside the room. I closed the door behind me carefully and walked to her. This time, I didn’t feel pity or sorrow after seeing her well-composed body unlike Peter’s. An Ace bandage was wrapped around her right leg, the only damaged part on her body. She saw me and her eyes clearly told me how surprised she was, or frightened.

                “Stef,” she said my name, as if she ran out of breath. The last time I saw her looking as afraid as that was when she failed a subject in our junior year.

                “Hi Charmaine,” I raised an eyebrow and faked a smile. She would know that I’m here not for good. She knows when I am showing a fake smile. She knows when I’m in a bad mood. She knows when I’m pissed off. She knows me because we used to be friends. But she never knows the real me.

                “Why are you here?” She didn’t let her guard down by getting up and leaning on her back. Apparently, she’s stronger than Peter. Looking at her clean face pissed me off because it reminded me of what I saw in her condominium unit. 

                “Come on, you know why I’m here,” I told her, not erasing my fake smile. “Well it would be boring if I harm you. So I came here to thank you.”

                She seemed confused, as expected. Before she could say a word, I continued speaking.

                “Thanks because through you, I was able to meet BTS. Your gruesomeness became the way for me to get closer to the man who knows how to love. How pathetic you are, you still don’t learn the true meaning of love, Charmaine Lee. All you know in this world is treachery which is really bad for your soul.” I spoke like I was giving her a lesson, but in a soft way. Well, that soft way comes with poisonous lectures of course. I saw her gulping her unsteadiness. With that, I walked closer to her and showed Suga’s phone.

                “Since you’re a fan too, I believe you already followed my boyfriend’s Instagram account.”

                “Boyfriend?” her brows furrowed, and I couldn’t help but wonder because of her reaction. She seemed like she had no idea Suga and I were dating. “You have a boyfriend already? I didn’t hear news from you because Peter and I took a long trip to Jeolla after you rampaged at Hansol.”

                My nerves boiled after she said that, it’s like telling me they really didn’t care about me after I saw them sleeping together. Both of them are worthy to be called wretches. I wanted to pull all her hair off because she just attacked me with a knife, but I should remain calm because I have my own weapon saved for later.

                “Oh really? I bet you didn’t enjoy your trip because both of you were worried about me. I was with you in your futile trip. I already haunted you two, obviously. Worse is, you didn’t get back home safe and flew off a cliff.” I let out a short laugh and showed her the screen of the phone. “Sorry but I wasn’t as depressed as you thought after that incident because I am with him.”

                Charmaine’s eyes widened and she clenched her teeth. She stared at my photo with Suga for a long second before she could look back at me. I gave her an insulting shrug. “Would you like to see more? His first IG post had me and him in one photo. He’s really a sweet guy, you know. It’s really a dream come true. So this is real happiness. How come I didn’t feel this when I was with you.”

                “Stef, you terrible ,” her voice started to sound angry. She was going to slap me, but I was quick at tossing it away. She’s the one who changed here. I’m not seeing her as my friend anymore because of her cruelty. She really annoyed me to the bone. How dare she calling me that?

                “Don’t call me that because it’s your name,” I rebutted. “Your jealousy is slowly exposing. Why? You realized that you love the boys of Bangtan than Peter? That’s what a real does, and you’re doing it right now, Charmaine.”

                “HOW?” she has already gone mad after seeing the photo. “How did this happen to you? WHY?”

                My smile got wider which turned out like a smirk, “Don’t ask me why or how. Good things happen to those who are good. No wonder this happened to you and Peter.”

                “GET OUT! I don’t want to see you anymore!” She threw her pillow at me but I grasped it fast and threw it back at her face. I wanted to slap her face but I heard the door opened.

Even if I didn’t look behind, I knew it was Suga because of Charmaine’s surprised face. I’ve been waiting for that expression – to see her confused and jealous at the same time. I’m sure she’s regretting leaving me. This will signify the suffocating cage she’ll be living in forever.

                “Hi Yoon Gi,” I greeted him, and he gave me a small smile. His eyes moved curiously between me and Charmaine. “Here’s your phone. Thanks.”

                Charmaine watched as I gave back the phone to Suga, she had no idea that it’s not my phone until I did it. I knew she’s already boiling inside. It’s my first time to enjoy seeing a hurt and burdened person.

                “Sure thing, Charmaine. I won’t ever see you too again because I’ll be really far from your filthy world.” I linked my arm with Suga and stepped back. “If I were you, I would spend the rest of my life here instead of going outside and be reminded of the evilness you did to me.”

                We made our way outside but Charmaine kept on shouting my name. I looked back before closing the door, “Goodbye, Lee So Ah.”

                Suga and I walked outside the hospital after wearing our caps. We were greeted by a bunch of reporters and fans waiting for us to appear. They cheered and never stopped calling our names despite our disguise. I got surprised because of the noise here after the solemn silence we encountered back at the 20^th floor. Securities of the hospital did their best to block the people from entering the hospital grounds. Both Suga and I waved a hand for them and we took a taxi cab right away, leaving them suspicious of our sudden visit at the hospital.

                “That was close,” he said, taking off his cap and fixing his hair. I also took off mine and quietly stared at my lap.

                What I did in the hospital will never be done again. It’s true that anger can transform a person into an evil no matter how hard you resist. I’ve had said a thousand sharp words in just a day that could kill people and I felt somehow bad for myself. In spite of that, I also felt like walking in the clouds right now because I’ve vomited out all I want to say to those two people. Finally, I officially ended my tie with those two callous creatures. I won’t care anymore of how they are doing or if they’re still alive. What matters now is we’re living in different worlds that would never ever meet again in the future.

                But leaving those two would also mean leaving this country. Leaving Suga.