[Suga's POV]

                Monday gave us a blast because today’s our 4^th anniversary. So many memorable moments were remembered: Filming of our debut music video No More Dream, birth of ARMY, showcases, reality shows, our first episode of Bangtan Bomb and BTS Kkul FM 06.13, concerts outside Korea, trophies and victories, and many more fantastic events that happened to BTS in the past 4 years. Those will never be forgotten. We’re burgeoning each day and that won’t be possible without our fans’ love of course. BTS is now 4 years old and I wish for more birthdays to come. More days with ARMY…with Stef.

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                Dressing room is occupied. We’re in MBC’s place because our concert will be held at Music Core’s stage with 35 lucky ARMYs as the audience.

                I was holding my phone while the make-up artist is working with my face and the hairstylist with my hair. I am waiting for a call that I’m excited to answer.

                Despite our very hectic schedule, I could still manage to laugh and bring joy to others. Why? Because since last week, I always hear Stef’s voice. Jin hyung told me that he’s happy to see me acting normal again which seemed insulting because I am normal. But, I know what he meant about that. I am acting like the “old” Suga again and that’s all because of Stef. Even if we’re not seeing each other, I still know how she’s doing because everyday she keeps on updating me about herself. I looked like a personal diary to her and I’m glad for that. It’s good to know that she’s always wearing the necklace I gave to her. I’m thankful that she never stops calling me even though I couldn’t answer back. I found that she really loves her new friend Sugar because one day, she told me that she missed Min Yoon Ah so much that she planned to go to LINE’s head office to demand for my presence. She laughed and it’s cute. Listening to her voice and silly plans first in the morning is like waking up in heaven.

                Finally, my phone vibrated.

                “For a while,” I excused myself and the stylists paused from beautifying me. I stood up to head to the restroom when Jin grabbed my wrist. His seat is beside mine. I looked at him but he couldn’t do the same because his hair was being fixed.

                “Make it quick,” he told me in a low voice. He let me go when I nodded. The others didn’t notice me so I hurried outside and answered the call.

                “Hi Sugar!” It’s Stef’s voice. The only voice I consider as my energy-booster. This is the voice I’m waiting to hear since I woke up because she’s my source of strength for the concert later. And, she sounds excited. “Guess what? I’m going to BTS’ anniversary concert today! I’m one of the 35 lucky ARMYs!”

                Because of ecstasy, I wanted to shout “WOW! REALLY?! That’s perfect!” but I couldn’t because she might find out that she’s not talking to Sugar.

                It’s good to know that she’s coming. Yes, I wasn’t expecting of that because I know she’s busy with her work. Hearing her voice is enough, but knowing that she’ll come to our concert makes everything better. Good grace, our 4^th anniversary is the best celebration for me. I’ll see Stef’s face again. This is very exciting.

                “I hope to see your friends there so that I can personally thank them for the polaroids and poster. Are they coming, too? Just text me if they are also coming so that I can meet them.”

                Oh, those imaginary friends of mine? Sorry Stef, but they won’t come to the concert.

                “I closed the stall today because of that special event. So, don’t send snacks for me.”

                I nodded as if she’s just in front of me.

                “Well, I hope you’re also doing fine today. I am so excited, Sugar!! After decades of not seeing BTS, finally I’m going to see them perform live again. And Suga! I miss that guy so much. I hope he won’t remember my face because I’m afraid he’ll see me as the sasaeng fan he encountered before. Haha! Anyway, I’m wearing the necklace, so wear yours, too, okay? Never say goodbye. So Sugar, see you soon!”

                She hung up the phone with a giggle and I couldn’t help but smile too.

                She misunderstands everything. Why would she think that she’s a sasaeng fan? No one would ever think that she’s that kind of fan. I have to tell her that since the first time I saw her, I never consider her a sasaeng fan. I only see her as the love of my life. Stef misunderstands everything.

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                We started the anticipated show with the remix of Boy in Luv and No More Dream. It turned out well because Rap Monster and I made it. The fans gave their loud positive response to the music as well as when Jimin showed off his abs. We followed it with some of our greatest hits like Bulletproof pt. 2, N.O., and Jump. Then, we proceeded to slow music like Haruman, Beautiful and Coffee. Of course, we didn’t miss to interact with the ARMY. J-Hope, V, and Jimin shared jokes and even did hilarious dance moves that aroused laughter from the audience. The most interesting part was when RapMon and Jin competed for a dance battle. Cheers and laughter were present as they dance on the center. They’re both pathetic and funny.

                While everyone’s enjoying the dance battle, I checked the audience again but of course, not in a very obvious way. I waved my hand as I looked at each ARMY’s face so that they won’t notice that I was actually looking for someone.

                It’s hard to find Stef because there were no enough lights at the audience’s corner. The dance battle is going to end so I have to hurry.

                So many people were calling my name and when I looked at them, they would never stop taking pictures.

                Where’s Stef? I don’t want to end this concert without seeing her.

                1^st row. No Stef.

                2^nd row. No Stef.

                3^rd row. Standing and swaying in the aisle along with other fans who were raising banners and lightsticks was Stef. There she is. Shining so bright to my eyes. Like a shining star in the night sky. Very beautiful and it’s fantastic.

                I paused from waving my hands and stared at her. It’s amazing to see her in person once again. She has no idea that I’m crazily anticipating for this time to come because of her alone. Looking at her photos on my camera and listening to her voice every morning are not enough because what will satisfy me is her presence. That presence of her is with me today and I couldn’t contain my excitement. Stef is just so beautiful from a distance. And even more beautiful when she’s closer. If only I could possess Do Min Joon’s superpowers, I would stop the time and come to her. I would walk closer to her and give her my tight embrace without Brown’s costume. I wish to feel her warm body. Well, don’t get me wrong. I just love everything about her and I want to show it by hugging her. I felt like I’m floating right now and the only person I’m seeing is Stef.

                Meanwhile, my daydreaming was cut because of darkness and someone grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the center of the stage. It was Jin. I didn’t realize that their dance battle has ended.

                He winked at me and whispered, “Don’t worry, I saw your Stef, too. It’s exciting, dude. I have a plan,”

                “Plan for what?” I innocently asked. Here we go again, hyung is acting meticulously and no one knows if that’s for good or not at all. I took a glance at the crowd again to check Stef. And she’s still there. Thankfully, the lights are on at the audience’s place. I could still see her.

                “Plan to avenge, I think?” he replied and we took our seats. I know it. He’s planning to do something unpredictable again.

                “To avenge, huh? Are you going to hurt Stef?” the other boys also took their seats. Ho Seok was on my other side.

                Jin hyung didn’t answer me but when the lights went on again, Charmaine, our event’s MC, appeared and I figured out what hyung meant. He’ll avenge Stef?

                “He, don’t do it. Whatever you’re planning,” I held on his left thigh.

                He smirked. “Seems like you know that I’m thinking, Yoon Gi.”

                Charmaine Lee started reintroducing herself to the audience and in front of the camera. The cheers never died down. We’re close to the ending of the show, yet the ARMY were still full of energy.

                “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt that MC who’s wearing a mask right now. I have a better plan, you know, I’m a gentleman.”

                It’s true that I’m angry and felt disgusted towards Charmaine because she’s fake, but Jin here is the most affected and furious. Honestly, after he found out that the DJ he admired was a “mistress” to Stef’s boyfriend, he got appalled and immediately considered her an adversary. Intense, right? He tried to change our MC today through a serious conversation with our PD but sadly, his wish wasn’t granted. Maybe that’s the reason why he has a killer plan today.

                “You’re saying that a ‘better plan’?” I asked. The fans close to us never stopped taking pictures of me and Jin so I shouldn’t show my anxious face.

                “If I’m going to compare my plan with yours, then I should consider mine ‘better’.”

                “My plan?” I pointed myself and still minimized my voice. Everybody has no idea of what we’re talking about here because Charmaine’s currently inviting the viewers t purchase or latest album.

                “Yeah, your plan. You plan to confess to Stef today, right? I knew it. The way you stared at her back there told me that you’re ready to announce to all of us here about your love for that girl,”

                “When did I say that plan? I-”

                “Oh come on,” he patted my shoulder and gave a V-sign for the fans before facing me again. “When are you going to confess, Min Yoon Gi? Next month, our world tour will start. We’ll be away from here for months. You’ll be away from Stef who’s still innocent of your feelings for her. If you don’t do it as early as today, there’s a big possibility that when we return here from our tour, Stef would have a new Peter. One-sided love will attack you again and make you depressed or crazy or whatever. I don’t want that to happen, okay? I’m sick of it.”

                “You’re rushing me,” I replied. But, it’s a good idea and I thank him for helping me. I’m happy to see how supportive hyung now to me unlike before. He has also changed.

                Before we end this concert, we’re going to announce our first world tour that will start next month. Jin’s right. I don’t have much time. I don’t want anyone take Stef away from me again when she and Peter broke up.

                I glimpsed at Stef again, and she’s raising a banner with my name on it. Then, I looked back at Jin.

                “But, hyung, this is our day, not my day of confession. That’s selfish and shocking. Can I do that tomorrow?”

                He wasn’t able to answer because Charmaine walked near to us and Jin hyung’s playful face turned into a serious one. I remained my hand on his thigh for him to calm down. The MC stood beside Jin.

                “Now, let’s proceed to Q&A,” Charmaine started, showing her smiling face. “Hi there Jin and Suga and J-Hope. Since I’m on this side, I’ll ask you three first about your feelings today.” she said, making the fans more excited and loud.

                J-Hope stood up and he’s the firs to answer by voicing out his rap part from Haruman. As expected, everyone went berserk but in a good way.

                While J-Hope’s rapping, I saw Jin hyung grabbed the rose attached on the MC’s cue card. It was really impolite that Charmaine got very surprised, but Jin was able to cover his mean act by standing up and joining Ho Seok to the front. He sang his part from our song ‘Propose’ while waving the rose.

                I heaved a deep sigh and showed my fake smile to the MC who’s still shocked of what just happened.

                The others joined the two and sang their sweetest parts from any of our songs. They didn’t seem to notice how mean Jin was a while ago. So, it’s a relief. But, I’m not sure if the fans noticed it because they’re all crazy over our random singing.

                I stood up, too, and swayed beside Jin. He saw me and handed the rose. The fans in front of us screamed louder and never stopped blinding us with their cameras’ flash. I accepted it with a smile and we acted like a silly couple for the fans. Hyung put his arm on my shoulders and whispered to me.

                “At least, give them a hint. Later, give that rose to Stef while we’re singing Miss Right or anything. Just within this event, okay? What do you think? A better plan of mine, right?”

                I gave him a surprised look but I didn’t erase my smile so that the fans would think that we’re just joking to each other.

                “So that’s your ‘better plan’ huh?” I responded.

                “Nope. It’s just part of my ‘better plan’, you know,” he said.

                It’s more or less a good idea. Maybe giving her this rose will help me to get her love little by little and make it obvious for everyone that I like Stef. This rose will also be the only answer that will solve her misunderstanding about me thinking of her as a sasaeng fan. Right. This is it.

                I held tight on the rose and looked at Stef from afar.