[Kim Tae Bi's POV]

                I had a sore throat after screaming non-stop since the concert began. I couldn’t contain my ‘feels’ anymore specially when my ultimate bias, Suga, takes the spotlight and does rapping effortlessly and in a very swag way. He is a cool guy. My heart always melts whenever he raps because he never fails to showcase his impeccable rapping skill. He does it with aplomb which is very charming. That talent of his is what attracts me the most and makes me love him more. I’m addicted to his rhetoric rap. That’s what makes Suga shine.

                I really thanked So Ah for giving me this once in a lifetime opportunity to witness BTS’ special concert. Even if the show’s close to conclusion, I still can’t believe that I’m here. One of the lucky 35 ARMYs who witnessed the live concert. We’re just 35 here but when you hear the chants, you would think that the audience was composed of 200 ARMYs. We’re crazy. I also shared to Sugar this morning how ecstatic and excited I was. I don’t care if I’m seated on the last row, at least I’m just 10 or 12 meters away from the stage and I could clearly see Suga’s face.

                About my food stall in Namsan Park? I planned to give it a one-day break today, but Peter, my superman, told me that he could take care of it. He explained that he has no business-meeting scheduled today so it’s alright for him to handle my stall while I’m gone and fangirling here. He’s indeed, so sweet. I promised that I’ll treat him for a delicious dinner tonight. I wonder how he’s doing right now. But, I’m sure customers won’t stop buying my hotcakes because of the handsome foreigner vendor who speaks Korean language with a very funny accent. I suddenly smiled because of my thought about him.

                                                 -----------------------------------------

                After Jin and Rap Monster’s comedic dance battle, two fangirls standing beside me caught my attention because they’re talking about Suga.

                “Look at Suga, he seems like he has his own world over there,” the girl who has Jin’s banner said.

                “Why is oppa like that? Wait, is he looking at us?”

                “Oh my gee! He’s looking at me!!! Suga! Suga!”

                Both of them joined the very loud chants which I left because of sore throat. When those ladies said that, I looked for Suga and found him standing alone on the edge of the stage. Doing nothing. But, as I stared at him, it seemed like his eyes were really glued to this direction. I’m not sure if he’s looking straight at me or to these girls who were shouting his name. If it was me, then I’m in danger because, maybe, he familiarized me already as his sasaeng fan.

                Thankfully, the lights went off and I pushed myself down back to my seat. It was a relief. Maybe, I am just paranoid. It’s not me. Suga’s looking at these crazy girls beside me. No worries. I should enjoy the show, not feel guilty or anything negative.

                After I calmed myself, the show proceeded with the second appearance of my dear friend, MC Charmaine. I feel proud watching her doing well with her job and I’m thankful because she can now control herself whenever BTS is around. Seeing her hosting a concert makes her look like a pro already. I told her to try applying as MC for After School Club, one of our favorite shows here in Korea, and join Eric Nam. She said that she has to think of it first or become a K-pop artist to qualify. But right now, she told me that she has to enjoy her job as a radio DJ. As long as she’s happy, I’m fine with that.

                “Time for Q&A. Questions that came from ARMYs all around the world were chosen and BTS must answer each question honestly. Are you guys excited?” So Ah asked both BTS and the audience. Of course, we’re all excited. “No answer means there will be a punishment. We’ll ask the fans for that. Shall we start with pink-lover Jin?”

                There was laughter. We all know that Jin, who’s the visual and most charismatic in the group, likes color pink. It sounds ironic, but for me it’s alright. Pink is for all gender. But to be honest, he’s the first good-looking guy I know who likes pink. It’s cute.

                So Ah walked nest to Jin’s high-chair, but not that close like a while ago. She’s afraid that Jin might snatch something away from her again. I was also surprised of what he did to my friend before the Q&A started. He grabbed the rose that was glued on So Ah’s cue card. Luckily, my friend was able to keep the card from falling. But still, it’s ridiculous, right? Why would he do that without asking for permission and especially to a girl? I really wondered why until Jin showed to us his reason by serenading us and handing the rose to Suga. So that’s why. I thought he’s acting impolite to my friend.

                “Hi again, Jin,” So Ah greeted kindly. He greeted back but his eyes were looking at the camera. His fans screamed when he spoke. Then, I noticed Suga’s hand on his lap. It looked awkward but the two of them seemed fine with it. “A fan from Philippines asked, ‘Jin oppa, may I know who among the members is the most close to you?’”

                A group of fans shouted ‘Rap Monster’ but I joined the other fans who were shouting Suga’s name. It’s so obvious! Look at Jin and Suga right now. They are close to each other like real brothers. Rap Monster likes looking after V, not Jin. And there are more proofs that tell us that Jin’s closer to Suga not their leader, so he must say my bias’ name.

                Everyone waited for his response. Jin held up his microphone and spoke.

                “I’m friendly to my members. We’re all close to one another. We’re like family,” he said and the members agreed. “But to choose the person who’s the closest to me, I’ll choose Suga.”

                And there was loud cheer again. My ears were already dead. I attended concerts in America before but that’s not as wild as this.

                So Ah clapped her hands and smiled, “So for Suga, I guess, Jin is the closest to you as well.”

                Jin answered instead of Suga. He seemed different and hyperactive. Is he mad?

                “Of course! We’re best friends. All of us here are best of friends. BTS is a team. So ARMY, if you want to have a long-lasting friendship like BTS, never betray each other. Never hurt your best friend because he or she is a treasure we must cherish. Never ever betray them. It’s bad. Especially when you’re stealing their man be-”

                “Jin is absolutely right,” Suga cut Jin off by snatching the mic from his talkative seatmate. “He is my best friend, too. Yes. Shall we proceed to the net question? It’s my turn, right?” he asked with a smile. Why did he stop Jin from giving us a very good advice? I was going to voice record his words but Suga suddenly put it to end. That’s a little bit disappointing. At least, I realized that my friendship with So Ah will last long because I never betray her and so is she to me. I always cherish every hour I spend with her because we’re best friends. Jin’s right.

                So Ah nodded and she continued, killing the dead-air. “A question for Suga from Brazil says, ‘Please name a celebrity in your country who’s close to your ideal type.’ Wow, this one’s intriguing yet fun. Are you curious, too, ARMY?”

                The crowd went crazy again and shouted different names of Korean actresses and idol stars. I’m a big fan of Suga but I don’t know what his ideal type is. I’m curious of what he would say so that I’ll have an idea of his ‘qualifications’.

                Suga left us screaming and curious. He’s laughing on his seat and Jin kept on whispering to him. What? Are they telling jokes to each other? The rest of BTS members were happily looking at him. They’re also waiting for Suga to speak just like us.

                “Suga, may we know who that is?” So Ah asked once more. It’s weird because I felt nervous. Am I allowed to feel that kind of feeling? Haha. I have Peter already so why should I be affected when Suga tells a name?

                “Sorry, but I don’t think I can answer that question,” he answered and I was satisfied by that. Some were not because they produced a sound like ‘boo!’ Why? They should be thankful, especially those who are also big fans of Suga, because he didn’t mention a name that could make us all jealous.

                “Oh. The response of the audience is surprising. Why did you say that, may I ask?” So Ah wasn’t on my side either. She’s pushing Suga to say a name.

                I wanted to put on my headphones to keep from listening to what my bias is going to say. However, he held up his microphone to his mouth and smiled before speaking.

                “I cannot compare my ideal type to others. Sorry about that. The girl in my head who’s holding my future is unique,” Suga said and the fans ‘oohed’ as well as the members on the stage. “No one can go with or against her. She’s different. She’s the only girl who can transform me inside out. Actually, she’s the reason why I can say words like this. She inspires me to compose music and write lyrics that’s why I thank her so much for existing. For me, she’s more than ‘ideal type’, she’s love. And, no celebrities or any other ladies can complete me except her.”

                I almost got swooned by his answer. My knees got weak and shaky so I settled down to my seat again and took time to digest every single word my bias has said. The crowd’s cheer turned into silence and the members were just nodding as if they already know what Suga’s going to say. Why? Is Suga secretly dating nowadays? I didn’t know that! Even if he denies it, it’s very obvious that he’s deeply in love with someone. An unique lady? Does she even exist? Where is that girl who is holding Suga’s future? Indeed, she’s the luckiest lady on earth.

                “Wow! Are you dating someone? Is she a non-celebrity? Sounds like you already got your miss right,” So Ah joked.

                But, Suga’s answer didn’t sound like a joke, “Well, let’s just say I’m getting there.”

                I felt like crying. “I should be happy for him,” I told to myself so that I can now stop feeling jealous about nothing. It’s useless to be mad or throw tantrums because that’s Suga’s life. That’s his choice. I can’t do anything about it. I’m just a fan. Maybe, that’s the reason why I felt hurt. I supported the single Suga and everything will change if he’s in a relationship.

                Everybody was insane. How could they shout “PENALTY” instead of “WE SUPPORT YOU SUGA”. He didn’t break the rule. He clearly said that his ideal type is unique so why give him punishment?

                “Seems like the fans are not contented with your sincere and heart-melting answer, Suga. They want a name,” So Ah said and she giggled.

                Looks like Jin’s my only companion here because he’s giving Suga a pat on the back and said “It’s alright. You did well.”

                “You’re saying that your ideal type is not a celebrity. Just a typical girl?” So Ah asked. The members all looked at him and it seemed like they were also anticipating for Suga to mention a name, except Jin.

                “She’s unique. Not typical. Unique girl,” my bias repeated the words that were like daggers to my heart. So, this is the feeling when I’m in love with my bias again. Putting myself away from reality and dreaming of Suga as my husband that’s why there’s jealousy. Now, I see. Poor me. I should call Peter now.

                “But the ARMYs are demanding for penalty. What should we do?” So Ah said, not erasing the smile on her face. The fans everywhere were screaming again, showing their excitement, too. Unlike them, I just remained seated and looking at Suga.

                “If that’s what our dear ARMY wants, then I’ll wholeheartedly accept your request,” Suga stood up and the volume went higher. The members laughed and clapped for Suga. He’s the first to receive a penalty. “By the way, I heard your friend’s also here?”

                My blood from the feet has risen up to my head and my heart started to beat rapidly. Despite the noise, I could hear my heart knocking in my ribcage. Did So Ah tell the boys that I’m coming today? Did Suga hear my name? I am the only friend of Charmaine who’s here, fangirling over BTS. There’s no doubt that my bias is asking about me.

                “Of course. I mentioned her to you earlier. Yes, she’s here,” So Ah’s answer gave me the strength to stand up again and be jumpy.

                The heads of the audience looked around, looking for that lucky ARMY who’s me.

                “It’s not wrong to ask her about the penalty, right? I would like her to tell me what to do.”

                I covered my mouth because of shock. My seatmates noticed that I’m acting weirdly so maybe they’re thinking that I was the one whom Suga’s referring to so they stared at me. I didn’t mind.

                Why would Suga choose me? There are so many fans who are closer to the stage. Why did he suddenly think of So Ah’s friend? Does he know that I was the girl who fell to his arm before and stepped on his territory? I don’t know if I should be happy or not. Many ARMYs would think that it’s unfair. In fact, I don’t know what penalty to give.

                So Ah looked up to my direction. To my surprise, Suga also did the same and my heart exploded. The question is, ‘how did he know that I’m Charmaine’s friend?’

                “Sure. Can we hand a mic to the girl over there?” So Ah referred to me.

                Or maybe, everything’s scripted. So Ah already told to everyone that I’ll be here and the place where I’ll be standing because one of the staff knows that I’m the girl So Ah’s referring to.

I took the microphone with shaky hands and there was spotlight. Murmurs and staring eyes were everywhere. And the camera. Both my hands held tight on the very light mic and I just looked straight to the stage.  

                “Tell him to dance to a girl group song,” my seatmate, who’s a supporter of Jin, whispered to me then giggled.

                “No. Tell him to sing any of Jimin’s part. Tell him to sing a high note. That will be more challenging and fun.” Another fangirl suggested. And there were many of them who’s throwing suggestions to me. But, I don’t like any of those penalties because I don’t want my bias to be embarrassed or whatever. So, I listened to my own suggestion and the mic.

                I looked at Suga who’s smiling at me as if I’m a friend of his. I also smiled, of course and time stopped between us. We’re far from each other yet, our smiles make me feel like I’m so close to him. It’s a complete relief because he doesn’t remember me anymore. He now sees me as a typical fan and a friend to MC Charmaine.

                “Actually, Suga’s answer is not wrong but very sincere. It’s not wrong because he didn’t lie about explaining his ideal type. The girl in his head is unique so it’s obvious that she’s incomparable. He doesn’t deserve a punishment so I’ll just request him to rap for all of us here.” I bowed and was very nervous as I spoke and listened to my own voice that was heard in the whole studio. The spotlight on me shut down and someone took the mic from me. That time was memorable because the BTS were all looking at me especially Suga. I thanked the staff and sat down.

                Half of the audience was still staring at me but I didn’t mind. What I said is right. If they want Suga do hilarious things, then they should better request that to the other members, not my bias.

                “That friend of yours is sweet,” Jin complimented and I blushed. I turned red more when each member nodded their head. My smile remained on my face because there’s a camera near to our row and I was recorded smiling.

                “Thanks about that, Jin,” So Ah replied. She, too, was happy like me. I thank her so much and I owe her for giving me another opportunity to speak to Suga.

                Jin looked at the camera and started speaking like a counselor again. “Never hurt your friend, okay? Remember my advice a while ago, ARMY,” Some fans clapped their hands and others laughed. Then, he looked at So Ah. “If you hurt your friend, I’ll-”

                “We’ll come to help you solve your problems through our music,” Suga, for the second time, grabbed Jin’s microphone and stood up.

                Why didn’t he let Jin finish his sentence again?

                The ARMY cheered because of Suga’s rebuttal, but I got puzzled.

                “Rap you said? J-Hope, give me a beat.”

                J-Hope started his amazing beatbox skill and we all headbanged smoothly with the beat. I joined the others who were clapping to the tempo. Then, Suga completed all of it when he started his rap from Haruman.

                Haruman naege sigani itdamyeon…

                I couldn’t help but scream with ARMY despite my burning throat and exhausted knees. I jumped happily as I raised Suga’s banner. My husband in dreamland showed off his rapping skill again that I really love to hear. He’s so charming. Why didn’t I meet him before he debuted as a BTS member? How I wish to hear him rap live like this on my birthday. If a genie will appear before me, I would spend all the 3 wishes saying, ‘Take me back to BTS’ special 4^th anniversary concert.’ Haha!

                I thought only his part from Haruman will be heard, but Suga surprised all of us with his never-heard remix of his rap from Haruman, Boy in Luv, Balck & White, and Miss Right with J-Hope’s company.

                Yes. I am super duper enjoying the show right now because of Suga. He’s the best. I did the right thing. I could see how happy and jumpy everyone is just because of what I’ve had requested. Great job, Kim Tae Bi.

                The securities gathered when Suga walked down from the stage to the audience.

                “AAAHH!!!” I’m sorry I couldn’t contain my feels again. I screamed and jumped like I’m really a sasaeng fan when Suga took his way to the aisle. The Stef who has a very good educational background and decent personality has been washed out and got replaced by an insane fangirl. I am crying. If Peter’s here, he would tell me that I’m so corny. Thankfully, he’s not here and no one could stop me from shouting Suga’s name.

                Oh eojjeom sarami geurae sesangeul honja saneun deutan chakgagi deune eh!

                My dying heart stopped from beating when Suga stopped right in front of me. I shut my mouth and had trouble in breathing. Min Yoon Gi, the best rapper in the whole universe, is rapping in front of me and looking straight into my eyes! The way he did his hand motions and body sway are all perfect. I couldn’t move anymore or even think clearly because I got overwhelmed, so I just cried. I cried like a kid and that’s so stupid of me. Oh gods, this is embarrassing. I couldn’t help but think back of our first eye contact that happened in KBS’ lair. This is like a fantasy.

                But, very far from both expectation and reality, Suga took my hand and showed his friendly smile that every creature will love to see. I died mentally when he gave me a wink as he rapped. Waaah! I can’t take it anymore. What should I do? His hands! His hands! I’m holding his hand! I am not dreaming. This is reality. Suga’s making me crazy inside out.

                “Suga, you’re the best,” I told him while tears continued devastating my face. I want to hide my ugly red face, but I don’t want to look away from him because this will never happen again so I have to grasp it no matter what.

                The cheers around me got louder and wilder. I could feel how jealous they are.

                He nodded and took the red rose from his chest-pocket to give it to me. The floor vibrated because of the noise and my heart beat.

                Oh my goodness. I was already drained from crying. Why do I feel so special today? Am I betraying my boyfriend right now who’s in Namsan Park, selling pancakes? I hope Peter won’t get mad when we watch this episode on Saturday. This is just for fun and a gift for myself for working hard. I guess. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, okay? I have to embrace it.

                And speaking of embrace, I planned to do it to Suga before he goes back to the stage.

                I held tight on his soft and cold hand and walked closer to hug him, but then, something clinging on his silver necklace stopped me.

                Questions and curiosities bombarded my head. My nerves, facial expression and heart suddenly went back to normal. A metal puzzle piece is hanging on his necklace and it’s the same kind of pendant as mine! I asked myself, “Did Sugar know that Suga has the same design of necklace as mine?” Or…

                Sugar minus ‘r’ is Suga

                Suga stopped from rapping with a gasp and I looked up to his eyes.

                I killed the silence between us.

                “Sugar?”