[Tae Bi's POV]

                After my morning talk with BTS’s manager, we had fried chicken for breakfast. Jin called for delivery because he wasn’t in the mood to cook. Even if we beg for him to cook, he won’t make a delicious and healthy meal. Manager made his way to the company, leaving us eight in the apartment again. He said he had a scheduled meeting about the group’s incoming world tour so he didn’t join us for breakfast. The boys were surprised to see that the manager bid his farewell at me instead of waving a hand at them. That made them very curious of what we had talked over a while ago. We gathered around the round table - my new favorite place in the whole world because I’m surrounded with the boys of Bangtan despite their morning faces – with boxes of chicken at the center. Suga and I were sitting next to each other. On my left was Jungkook and on Suga’s right was Jin. We behaved this time because we didn’t want to get Jin’s attention, although he’s watching us strictly since this morning. I gave my cup of coffee to Suga. I still don’t feel like drinking coffee this morning, I don’t know why.

                “It’s not hot anymore,” he told me. He had no idea that was made by their manager.

                “Should I make a new one for you?” I asked, not looking at his eyes because I was drooling over the chicken.

                “No, it’s fine. Let’s eat,” he placed two pieces of chicken in my plate before serving himself. I noticed J-Hope staring at the drumstick I got. I peeked in the other boxes and didn’t find any drumsticks, so I gave mine to him.

                “Yey! I didn’t even ask for it. Thanks,” he asked for a hi-five, and I couldn’t resist. Then, he gleefully ate his meal but Suga snatched one of the chickens in J-Hope’s plate and transferred it to mine.

                “This is a trade, dope. You can’t take anything for free nowadays.” He said, insulting the poor J-Hope, but the boy didn’t seem to mind.

I slapped Suga’s leg to scold him, “You don’t have to be mean.”

                He, then, took the chicken from me and took a bite, “Not mean to J-Hope? Okay.”

                I narrowed my eyes at him, but he didn’t look back. I didn’t mind and just joined the group of starving people. We all ate quietly for a moment to savor the food. Jungkook handed me a glass of water and I thanked him. I observed the boys eat and I found myself smiling alone because of the happiness boiling inside me. Right after the manager accepted me in this house, I could finally say that this is my second family. I felt more secured here unlike when I was with Peter Woods. Surely, this new family I got would never betray me because sincerity rules over them. I just wish my relationship with Suga would not end. I don’t want that to happen.

                When Rap Monster met my eyes, he smiled at me. I was a bit embarrassed because he might think I’m insane for smiling with no reason. Aside from Suga, I found Rap Mon sweet, too. Or should I say ‘caring’. He’s so kind to me that I couldn’t think of anything that could repay his goodness. No wonder he’s the leader of BTS.

                “Hey,” Suga elbowed me. When I looked at him, he told me to finish my meal. So, I did.

                When all were done devouring breakfast, Jin and Jimin cleaned the table. I was going to help, but Suga asked me to stay next to him. We sat there, with sleepyheads Jungkook and V, and stared at nowhere.

                “I want to know why you did that earlier,” I started, because I didn’t want to sit here doing nothing.

                Suga gave me a confused look.

                “In the car,” I tried to keep my voice low so that the other guys won’t have any idea of what I was talking about or start any misinterpretations.

                Finally, Suga raised his eyebrows and scratched the back of his head. Did he just blush?

                “I have no idea why I did that either. Maybe that’s what they call ‘the urge’? I dunno. I’m sorry,” he tucked my hair behind my ear and gave me a shy smile. That was awkward. I know what he means by that ‘urge’.

                “Let’s not do that in a car,” I said, making his ear red. This naughty boy knows how to get shy. It was obvious that he ran out of words so I left him there and helped Jin with the dishes.

                “So in short, manager and you are now in good terms?” Jin asked me, and his frown got replaced by a smile after I shared with them what the manager and I talked about earlier. We were at the dining area, and I don’t know how we all gathered here. Maybe because Jin, Jimin, Suga, and I were cleaning this area a while ago, so they followed.

                “Surprisingly,” I answered, with my happiest smile.

                “Glad to hear that,” Jungkook, who’s sitting across from me, said. He leaned his chin on his palm. “For now, we don’t have problems. All we have to do is to prepare for the tour.”

                “I’m excited!” V cheered up, raising both his arms and waved. J-Hope joined him and they looked adorable.

                “Are you coming with us?” Jimin asked me excitedly. How I wish I could be as excited as him. But it’s too costly if I follow them around the world.

                “Well sadly, my piggy bank is not yet full. Don’t worry I’ll keep myself posted about your tour,” I positively said. And saying that means I’ll also be positive with a long-distance relationship. Okay, what else could I do? My boyfriend is a K-pop star.

                “Yoon Gi hyung will call you everyday, don’t worry. He’s more passionate than you think.” V made me chuckle. I looked at Suga and we smiled at each other.

                “May I ask,” We fell silent when Jin called everybody’s attention. He pointed at Suga. “Have you ever spoken in English with Tae Bi? Since she’s half-white, right?” he directed that question to me. I nodded.

                We never did that, because I prefer speaking comfortably than speaking with impression. I also know that Suga doesn’t like speaking in English. I’ve read that from so many fansites of BTS. Besides, why would we speak a foreign language in a country where we were born?

                “I don’t show interest in that,” Suga slouched and rested his left arm on the top of my chair’s backrest.

                “Oh come on, at least impress your girl, hyung!” Jungkook clapped a hand on the table, and J-Hope followed it with drumrolls using his own hands as the drumsticks. I began to laugh.

                “I’ve impressed her for so many times,” he rolled his eyes, still fighting for himself alone.

                “Give it a try. I want to hear it, too,” I said, but I wasn’t forcing him to do it unlike the other boys.

                “I know you’re damn good at English, too, bro,” Rap Monster heated up the atmosphere when he spoke in English with his signature rough accent. J-Hope and V showed their amusement and started a noise while Jimin clapped his hands as if we’re starting a hip-hop battle. Jin shrugged when I looked at him and we all waited for Suga to speak.

                “I love Kim Tae Bi,” Suga uttered his English words, then he raised both his hands to tell us he’s done. I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing, but Rap Monster’s laugh was contagious.

                “What?” Suga looked confused, but he remained gladiatorial, which I found adorable.

                “Oh come on! We all know that, hyung,” Jungkook complained, dropping his forehead into his palm. “Say something new.”

                Suga looked at me for a second, like he’s thinking seriously of an English word or phrase he could say perfectly. I just smiled, hoping it would help.

                “Forget it. I’d rather start a dance battle with J-Hope,” he unexpectedly surrendered like that, and our similar expectations about him speaking in English just vanished. This guy’s really hard-headed.

                “Well, I guess that’s more entertaining,” I spoke first before they throw their boos to Suga. This is what a protective girlfriend must do.

                “Alright!” Jin agreed with me, and he slapped Suga’s back. “No one dared to have a dance battle with that kid but you. Let’s see this interesting competition,” he continued and asked J-Hope to stand near the sink where the space was wider. Jimin cheered first and we all joined him. I wasn’t wrong when I said that this was going to be more entertaining. However, the guy beside me looked a bit nervous and more concentrated.

                “You want me to go first?” J-Hope asked, and I was so excited to see him perform up close. I still want to believe that this is reality, not a dream.

                “There’s sink behind you, limit your moves,” V reminded him. “And we’re just one meter close so better be more careful.”

                “No, it’s just your nose,” Suga jested, making V stuck his tongue out. I was the only one who laughed at his joke.

                “Well, I want Yoon Gi hyung to dance here beside me,” J-Hope called out for Suga. He wanted them to dance at the same time so that we could fairly judge who danced best. That’s a good idea. I nodded my head and insisted Suga to join J-Hope. Jungkook transferred to the empty seat beside me because his neck might get stiff if he watched the boys behind him dance.

                “Tae Bi will pick the song,” Jin readied his phone and they waited for me to say one song of their group. I wanted them to  do ‘Boy in Luv’, ‘Danger’, ‘No More Dream’, ‘War of Hormones’, and more, but he was only asking for one. So it’s a hard choice for me. I felt very special when they are all looking at me like that, very friendly and all-smiles. One of the benefits of having a boyfriend from BTS.

                “I’d choose Dope,” I finally said. I enjoyed watching Suga the most when he’s performing those quick dance moves in Dope. He’s so hot.

                “Thank God, I was not J-Hope,” Jin let out a sigh of relief. I know he found the dance steps of that song as difficult as Danger. I chuckled because of Jin’s reaction. “Okay, I’ll play it now.”

                I looked at Suga and he gave me thumbs-up. Ha, I picked the right song. J-Hope was trying to remember the steps by waving his hands and slowly moving his feet.

                “I have to record this,” Jungkook said in a low voice. He brought out his phone to video the battle. “This is going to be fun.”

                “You’re right,” I agreed and smiled as I waited for them to start.

                Jin pressed the play button and the song was heard. It skipped the first verse that’s why the two of them danced to the chorus already. Even if it’s obvious that J-Hope was the best dancer in this small battle, I still couldn’t take my eyes off Suga. He got the swag feeling while dancing to this and I like it.

                Cameras up, cheers got louder, the song was awesome and the dancers were both cool. This is ecstasy. I found an unfailing reason to smile again. These people provide me the sense of belongingness because we are like siblings having fun under one roof.

                Night came, and everyone’s preparing for a long sleep in this cold weather. Even if it’s my second night in this place, I still found them cute in their PJs, even my own boyfriend. Their bad-boy image just disappeared because of those exaggeratedly adorned and brightly colored nightwear.

                I also changed into my PJs that Suga bought for me, and he’s wearing his that perfectly matched mine. Before I could say my good night to Suga, Jin held me in the elbow.

                “Separate rooms,” he reminded, although it’s already stuck in my head. And where else could we sneak in if the manager drove the car back to its owner?  I nodded and he walked inside the room I was assigned to. Jimin and Jungkook followed Jin inside. V and J-Hope were still changing in the bathroom, while Rap Monster was busy at the kitchen writing stuff, probably he’s composing a new song. I would like to take a peek but that’s the time when he should not be disturbed, or else I would ruin his concentration or imagination. So, I just faced Suga and said my goodnight to him.

                “Let me know if you can’t sleep,” he told me, and he pulled me for a tight embrace.

                When we parted I walked to my room, but I waved a hand at Suga first before going in. I suddenly felt empty, but that feeling has shaken off when I saw how neat the sleeping room was. Is this true, or is it because they know a girl is going to sleep in this room? Whatever these three guys’ reason was, I still appreciated their effort.

                “This is where you will sleep,” Jimin shyly pointed at the pink mattress lying on the right side of the room. Looking at its fluffiness made me want to jump and have a sound sleep. It looked new and unused.

                “Let me guess, is this Jin’s?” I asked, pointing at the air bed. Everyone knows that Jin is a fan of color pink so most probably this is his property.

                Jin nodded, and he spread a blanket over the mattress. “I was actually saving this for my girlfriend. Well, unfortunately, Yoon Gi got a girl first so there you go.”

                A pang of guilt hit me. Then, I immediately stopped Jin from arranging my bed, “Please, you don’t have to do this. This is yours, not mine. I feel like stealing something valuable from you.” I apologized.

                He shook his head, “I could buy a new one and keep it in the cabinet again. No worries,” he pat my shoulder and smiled. “Now go to sleep. Are you okay with lights out?”

                “That makes me fall asleep fast,” I honestly said. Then I walked to my place and lay down. The three of them were sharing a long air bed, but they have different blankets.

                “Good night, Tae Bi!” Jimin waved a hand at me before hiding himself beneath the bed sheet.

                “Good night,” I happily answered back. Jungkook just nodded at me and he started to give himself a quiet slumber. Jin turned off the lights, and the room wasn’t completely dark because of the moonlight crawling in from the window.

                I didn’t turn my back on them because I’m afraid that once I opened my eyes later on, they’d be gone in my dreams. It’s peacefully quiet      but my heart was laughing in gladness. I wasn’t sleeping with Suga but this place made me comfortable, too, because they’re just there. I remembered the time when I wished about seeing these boys in person and have their autographs. But right now, that wish was overly granted. I didn’t just see them in person, but I was also able to have fun chats with them, see them dance, eat with them, and even sleep in the same room as them. I cannot call myself a fan anymore because these memorable moments are similar to what the family members experience. We are family.

                I awoke to see that it’s still dark outside. I thought I already had a long sleep, but it seemed like I only took a nap because my eyes were still sleepy, but I couldn’t sleep anymore no matter how hard I kept my eyes closed and covered my whole face with the pillow. I suddenly thought of calling Suga and sleeping beside him and maybe that would help me to sleep again. But I don’t want Jin to get mad again like last time. He lend me his pink air bed, I should not repay him with my stubbornness.

                I got up carefully because I didn’t want to disturb any of these three from their sleep. I couldn’t help but smile at Jimin’s wide opened mouth and Jungkook’s leg above his tummy. Only Jin was sleeping like a prince. I would like to capture this moment but I remembered I didn’t have a phone.

                I tiptoed outside the room. It was darker because all the lights were off, but I could still see the outline of some objects. Then, I spotted Suga’s anorak hanging on the coat racks near the front door. I took it because I’ve just decided to take a stroll outside the apartment, and look for gifts I could buy for the boys. I wore the thick jacket and silently walked outside. Thankfully, I didn’t make a loud noise and I made it outside without waking anyone. I have to be back before the sun is up; otherwise, Suga would nag at me. Well, I don’t have any idea what time it is but looking at the sky’s color, it seemed like it’s just midnight.

                My foot took me to a night market. It’s not that far from the dorm, but the atmosphere here gave me a feeling that I was so far from the apartment; the people around were wide awake; there’s noise everywhere; and a lot of bright stores. Most stalls in the bazaar were selling cheap products but the quality looked good and chic. I was surprised to see a few branded stores like Converse, Crocs, Nine West, Guess, and others.

                I was heading to this particular shop named Tribal Gear where the clothes displayed at the front perfectly reflect the hip-hop style. I saw snapbacks inside so I walked in, but before I could open the door, someone put a cap on my head. I was surprised to see Rap Monster standing behind me, also wearing a black cap and a mask to disguise himself.

                “Hi,” I said, still unmoved because I couldn’t believe he’s here.

                He just waved a hand and winked.

                “Venturing out, huh?” I told him. And we went inside the store.

                “I just thought a burglar tried to break in the dorm,” he said, reminding me of my surreptitious move a while ago. So my quiet footsteps were nothing to Rap Monster.

                I looked up to him, because he’s pretty tall. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just couldn’t sleep.” Now that he’s here, my plan to buy gifts was done.

                “It’s alright,” he patted my head like I’m a puppy to him. “I wasn’t sleeping anyway. I was writing lyrics and went to the bathroom. When I walked out, I was shocked to see a figure opening the front door slowly,” he chuckled. “Man, I thought you’re a criminal but when you successful got outside, the light illuminated your face. You’re amazing.” So I was right that he’s writing a song a while ago. He’s the one who’s amazing, not me. I saw him poked his cap and continued, “Don’t forget to bring a cap with you next time. You’re a celebrity now, someone might notice you.”

                I nodded to his friendly advice and smiled, “Thanks.” His presence made me feel safe. It’s like hanging out with a brother. “Is this the reason why you came here?”

                “No. I have to keep an eye on the burglar.” He said, and we both laughed to his joke.

We walked around the whole store and checked each product we instantly liked because it really seemed like this store was established for BTS and ARMY. We tried on different snapbacks and coats and shades that gave us the swag feeling.

I burst out laughing when Rap Mon wore a dreadlocks wig and matched it with red glasses.

                “You don’t look like you,” I chuckled. “You look like a beggar.”

                He also laughed and took his phone from his pants-pocket, “Take a picture of me.” he gave me the phone and I captured his hilarious image.

                “You just killed hip-hop image,” I couldn’t say him that he looked like a monkey with that style because he might get offended. He looked really funny.

                After checking his photo, he asked me to come closer so that we could have a selca together. My smile was so wide because I was still laughing when he pressed the shutter button. He joined me in making fun of his new image until the store staff called our attention to keep quiet. Our laughter was way louder than the music being played over the speakers. It was really funny. Rap Monster is really funny, both on-cam and off-cam.

                “I should not buy this one or we’re going to wake those guys up when we get back home,” Rap Monster told me, and there was a tear on the corner of his eye due to laughing hard.

                “Yeah right, we have to go.” I helped him bring the wig back to its place and we headed outside without buying anything. We’re so bad.

                “Want to visit Converse?” He asked me. Looking at his half-covered face reminded me of someone familiar.

                “How about cotton candy first?” I suggested, and it’s so stupid of me to babytalk.

                His eyes smiled, “If I’m not mistaken you’re a year older than me, and yet you’re acting like a child.” He showed his thumb-up and we just walked to the mini-stall selling colorful cotton candies. This sight suddenly squeezed my heart because the image of my stall in Namsan Park came to me. Now, it’s gone. I missed giving smiles to my customers. I missed the relaxing view of the park and the tower. I missed the smell of my pancakes. I missed those times I played with Brown. I swallowed the thought of crying.

                Meanwhile, two big cotton candies, blue and pink, were handed to me by Rap Monster. I looked at him, “This one’s for you,” I gave the blue one to him but the vendor just handed another one to Rap Mon.

                “I thought you might cry if I only give you one,” he said, making me smile. “You got two cotton candies, so smile!”

                “Thank you, Rap Mon,” I said, giving him a weak punch on the shoulder. Now, it’s easy to erase those sad memories in my head again.

                “Nam Joon,” he corrected me. “Call me Nam Joon.”

                “Okay, Nam Joon,” I winked at him, and we headed straight to Converse store. It’s true that I’m one year older than him, but for me he’s still like a protective big brother I will always respect.

                When we got inside the one-story store, I saw a lot of well-designed shoes. Everything’s attractively organized and luxurious. This store is good at giving customers the I’m-a-superstar feeling especially when they’re trying any Chuck Taylor shoes on. All of their offers were gorgeous; the texture, the color, the design, and the quality are the best. I remembered having pink Converse sneakers when I was 12, a birthday gift from my aunt in Maryland. That time, I wasn’t yet a liker of Converse shoes because I found the style boring. My dream shoe when I was a kid was a pair of flats from Jimmy Choo. When I grew up, I started admiring Converse’s models. I realized that their styles are always perfect in any season. Plus, BTS had a song about Converse shoes.

                We roamed and stopped, and roamed again until we separated because Nam Joon stayed at the men’s section. I left him and continued to commend every shoe, and then I saw this pair of red sneakers that outshined all the products in the store. It’s like the shoes of Hermes because it caught my attention despite the distance and lots of pretty shoes on my way. I walked closer to it and read the description on its tag.

                Chuck Taylor All Star Dainty

                KRW 65,716

                “Wow,” I exhaled the word, and inspected the shoes. It’s so beautiful, and I badly want to buy it. However, I’m short in budget and I wasn’t sure if mom deposited money to my card. I looked for a seat and tried the shoes. After tying the laces, I looked at myself in the mirror. Even if I was in my PJs, the sneakers still looked good on me. It’s amazing.

                “It suits you,” I saw Nam Joon in the mirror, standing behind me, with his hands inside the pockets of his pants.

                I turned around and shook my foot, “Thanks. I like it, too.”

                “Gonna buy it?” he asked.

                I shook my head, and started untying the shoelaces. “Maybe next time. Hopefully, this won’t get sold out.”

                He didn’t answer and helped me removed the shoes from my feet like a gentleman. I thanked him again and he helped me to get up. A sudden chill came to me, and it’s weird. I should not be feeling that. Nam Joon is like a brother to me, it’s not right to treat him beyond that.   

                “What time is it, by the way?” I tried to distract myself from thinking too much of Nam Joon’s kindness.

                He rolled up the right sleeve of his jacket and checked his watch, “It’s 2.”

                Two in the morning. We still have a lot of time to amble and check out the other stores, but I didn’t feel like going anymore.

                “Oh, maybe that’s why I feel sleepy already.” I pretended yawning, and started to the door. He followed without saying anything. We left the night market and headed back home.

                When we’re far from the noise of the market, I started to feel uneasy because the street was empty and quiet, not considering the cold. I was afraid a real criminal might attack us or some crazy guy walked on our way. I walked closer to Nam Joon, and he noticed me.

                “This place knows me, so don’t worry, a monster won’t show up,” he assured me, and he stayed close to me, too.

                “It’s just my first time to walk in a street of Korea at a time like this,” I honestly admitted. I could feel him smiling.

                We’re a few blocks away from the dorm and I could see the front gate of it. I felt somehow relieved because if ever someone really scared us, I would scream and the boys would definitely hear me.

                “Hey, thank you for today,” Nam Joon suddenly spoke, slowing me down from walking. “I really had fun.”

                “I should be the one saying that,” I shyly replied, taking off his cap from my head. “Thank you for this. You just saved me from the paparazzis. And for the cotton candies!” It’s just a short ride with him, but we made a lot of fun memories already. There are so many things I have to thank for, actually.

                “Glad to hear that,” he nodded. Then, I stopped from walking when I realized he wasn’t following anymore. I looked back and saw him standing still. I returned to him and smiled.

                “Only three jumps and we’re home. Come on,” I took his wrist, but instead of pulling him, I was the one who got pulled by him. I bumped against his body and he embraced me. I could feel his chin on the top of my head. His heart and mine beating in synchrony. My mind went blank, but I let my arms wrapped him, too.

                “Thank you,” he said, and he sounded like he’s going to cry. “Everyday, I wonder what she’s doing or how she is. Thank you because you remind me of her.” He hugged me tighter, and I started patting his back although I had no idea who that ‘her’ is. This is why I believe that embrace is the best medicine to a wounded heart. It’s good to give the brokenhearted a tight hug and pat on the back to comfort them. “When I saw you, I couldn’t take my eyes off you because I’m afraid her image would disappear again. You look exactly like her. Thank you for coming. I’m grateful for your presence because I feel like she’s close to me.”

                We both let go and I saw him crying. It broke my heart, too. This matter is really important to him because he cried. I wanted to embrace him again but he seemed fine.

                “Is she a special friend?” I asked, not erasing the smile on my face so that it could influence him.

                “She’s my first love,” he straightforwardly responded, and I was shocked to hear it. No one in the ARMY but me knows this fact about the leader of BTS.

                “Is she here?” I was going to ask ‘Is she dead?’ but that would only sound impolite.

                He shook his head, and I got anxious. Maybe she’s dead. “She’s in New Zealand. Her name’s Sabrina.”

                I let out a sigh of relief, and smiled again. Rap Monster used to live in that country so probably that’s where they met. “Okay, that’s pretty far from here. But come on big guy,” I slapped his arm jokingly. “You can still contact her. Or maybe, stopped by their country during your world tour break.”

                He wiped off tears from his cheeks, and showed his small smile. “Up to now, I’m still struggling to find her online. She doesn’t have any social media account, and I don’t have her number. My only hope is her home address. Let’s pray that it’s still her current address when I get there.”

                “Of course, she’s still there,” I said, as if I had an idea about that girl. I was just trying to throw hopes to this man and brighten up his mood.

                His smile got wide and he put the cap on my head again, “This is yours now. Let’s say it’s my gift of gratitude. For making me hopeful for a bit.”

                I laughed to that, and we continued walking. So, this is the reason why he treats me so kind. I looked like Rap Monster’s first love. I felt flattered because my appearance makes him happy. I love making people happy. I would also pray for their reunion soon, so that he won’t get miserable anymore.

                The gate flew open before I could even do it. My face would definitely be damaged and deformed if Nam Joon didn’t pull me back. Suga came out, and he was panicking, not until he saw us. His eyes were wide opened and he’s catching his breath as if a monster was chasing him inside. He closed his eyes in relief and hugged me. I could feel sweat on his back.

                “Nightmare?” I asked, caressing his back. He didn’t speak because he’s still out of breath. I saw Nam Joon walked inside without saying anything to us. He didn’t even bother asking Suga what happened. I hope Nam Joon gets a good dawn sleep.

                “You were gone,” he uttered the words at the same time exhaled. I felt guilty for leaving the place without telling him. I should not do that next time.

                “I’m here,” I let go and patted his cheeks. “Now let’s go in. It’s cold out here.”

                He didn’t listen and handed me his phone, “Your mom called.” my feet stopped from taking another step and stared at his phone. My mom called, I couldn’t be any happier. The thought of meeting my family and introducing Suga to them excites me so much. “I didn’t answer it. You should call her back.”

                I didn’t hesitate to take his phone, then I dialed her number. When I heard the ring, I was nervous but at the same time glad to hear mom’s voice. I couldn’t guess what she’s going to say now that she knew Peter and I broke up. Plus, I don’t have my phone with me. We stayed in the garage because I didn’t want to cause such noise inside the dorm. I know the boys were having quiet sleep. I’m grateful that Suga wasn’t leaving my side.

                “Hello?” I heard dad’s voice instead of mom’s. I was happy to hear him speak to me, I could picture his brave image and loving smile. For me, he’s the kindest man I ever met because of his considerate heart and patience. However, his voice didn’t sound good, and it made me worry.

                “Dad,” I answered back. Suga gave me a look, he also didn’t expect that it is dad who called. “It’s me, Stef. How are you guys? Where’s mom?”

                “Your mom,” he paused, and tears were so fast in forming in the corners of my eyes. I felt a sudden rush of sadness even though dad’s not yet done speaking. I know something bad was going on, just hearing dad’s sad voice. “Your mom, she’s in the hospital.”

                “Hospital? Why, dad? What happened to mom?” I covered my mouth this time, because I didn’t want him to hear that I started sobbing. Suga held me in the back, but I didn’t look at him. I was thinking of the instances that brought mom to the hospital. She has healthy body. Even if she doesn’t feel well, she would insist not going to the hospital and prefer lying down in her bed for two days straight. After two days of break, she would be well again. What kind of sickness is this that made her go to hospital? Or was she involved in an accident? God please, no.

                “She read your last text message about your relationship with Peter. I knew it, too. That sudden news about your break-up gave headache to your mom. What made it worse was the tragic news we watched here from Korea. Your mom collapsed due to great shock. Haven’t you heard about the news?”

                I shook my head, though dad couldn’t see me doing it. “What news, dad?” The news about me and Suga dating in public is never considered a tragic news, right? So what is?

                “A car flew off a cliff, and we’re so aghast to know that the passengers were identified as Peter and Charmaine.” Dad continued, his voice remained steady but sad. I just stopped from crying and my chest tightened of the news. “That caused heart attack to your mom that’s why we’re here since Monday.”

                “Are they dead?” I didn’t wish for those two to die, I only wished for them to vanish from my sight. Why did I suddenly feel like it’s my fault that they got into a terrible accident? I was worried most for Charmaine. She used to be my best friend. 

                “The last report about them said they’re in the ICU, Cha General Hospital,” dad said, and I had no idea where that hospital is. I covered the phone’s mic for a moment to look at Suga.

                “Where is Cha General Hospital?” I asked him.

                He thought for a second, and mouthed Gangnam.

                “Stephanie Kim,” only my dad calls me by my whole name, and whenever he calls me that way, it means he’s serious and I have to listen carefully. No one calls me Stephanie because I don’t like that name. I prefer Stef. Nobody in this world, including Peter, Charmaine, and Suga, knows my real name except for my mom and dad. Hearing that name is one of my greatest flaws. The last time my dad called me Stephanie Kim was when I didn’t share my food with homeless waifs when we came across them. I was eight back then. “At least pay them a visit. They used to be your friends.” Those words prompted me to cry again. But I bit my lips and looked up the ceiling to keep my tears from falling. I have to be strong. For me, those people are like typical citizens the world doesn’t care about. “And go back here. Your mom wants to see you.” I took Suga’s hand and he smiled at me. I wanted to tell dad that I would bring my boyfriend with me, but dad wasn’t yet done talking. “Don’t bring the artist here. Your mom doesn’t like your relationship with the singer. That may be the other reason that made her illness worse. We will wait for you, my child. Come back here in Maryland in two days.”

                He said his goodbye but I didn’t answer back anymore. I put down the phone and the cracks on my heart were starting to break again.

                “Tae Bi, are you alright?” Suga touched my cheek, and we just stared at each other’s eyes. I didn’t have the courage to say what my mom wants me to do.

                I was so speechless. I’m running out of energy to think of how to fix this problem with permanent solution. I was starting a happy life, but my family who gave me life was trying to replace this happiness with their own version of happiness. I cannot leave Suga, but I don’t want to oppose my parents. I love them both. Suga and my parents are my priorities now, but how could I put these priorities in equilibrium if they give me different choices to take? 

                I leaned on Suga and he wrapped his arms around me. I started to cry, although I perfectly knew crying won’t solve a thing. This burden was excruciatingly heavier than before. I thought everything’s flowing well after I met Suga.

               But then, I realized that every fairytale must meet its own conclusion. My relationship with Suga is exactly a fairytale – it has to end.