1. Title: [3/5 pts.]
Pretty vague. I’d be okay with the title if it kind of said more about the story, but it’s in my opinion, doesn’t say much. Without you can mean a lot of things, like it could be used for a story about grief and loss or anything, really.

2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [3.5/5 pts.]
The poster is decent. The background kind of clashes with the poster’s colors, but that is just photoshop and tumblr edits obsessed me talking.

3. Foreword/Description: [7/10 pts.]
It describes the story plot well, but if I were you I wouldn’t change the font color because that just takes me out of a story with the sudden color change. You don’t have to follow this really. There are some grammar mistakes in your forward so if you could get someone who knows grammar well, you could ask them to look over the description.

4. Plot: [25/30 pts]
The plot is a little on the cliche side as I’ve seen it done in books and movies I’ve read so I was preparing for the usual to happen but then you turned your story around and made it as your own so it works. It went in a different direction than I expected because I expected her to go divorce and be with the one she loves.

5. Flow: [4.5/5 pts.]
The story went at a decent pace so all is good. You could focus on other things that you could work on in other future stories.

6. Characterization: [3/5 pts.]
It was easy to get to know the characters and their personalities so they didn’t feel one dimensional, but for me, some of their personalities didn’t feel very memorable for me to like them.

7. Grammar/Spelling: [14/20 pts.]
Grammar usually isn’t AFF’s strong suit, I’ve noticed after reading a lot of fics. I won’t go harsh on you since English isn’t your first language and the grammar rules for it are pretty complicated for some people that do and don’t know the language. It’s best if you get someone to read over your mistakes if you want your story to sound clearer. Here are some examples you should fix:

“...and handed me the flower buoquoet.” (Chapter 1 --- the word should be spelled as bouquet.)

I didn’t want someone saw me blushing. -> I didn’t want anyone to see me blushing.

He was the one that suggested taking the ride yet he said that he wouldn’t take the ride. -> He was the one that suggested taking the ride yet he said he wouldn’t go on it. (Better wording so the sentence reads easier.)

Since the evening was coming, the lights on the town were lightened on already on a far. -> Since the evening was coming, the lights on the town were lit already from a far.

8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [14/20 pts.]
This was a decent story with an ending I didn’t expect it would have. Problems aside, it was okay and decent enough for me. Points docked because it’s probably not the type of story I would have wanted to read for myself as enjoyment so I think it’s okay.

Comments/Feedback: Overall it was fine. It deserved the amount of subscribers it has and I can see you improving with your newer stories so that is good. Probably would have been enjoyed more if it was someone else since people’s tastes are different. Still, I liked it.

Total:  [74/100]

*Please always remember that if you make changes, or add to your story, you can always request for another review to better your score. Just send in another application, and we’ll get back with you as soon as possible.*

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