ROSIE’S POV

 

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Should unnie get you aspirins, mevinal?”

“No, really, I’m fine, unnie,” I answered. I know I sounded tired, but I can’t bail this one. I’m strong enough.

“Don’t push yourself too hard. Unnie will call the CEO if you feel too sick, okay?” my coordinator unnie said, in a worried tone, while helping me putting on my microphone.

I nodded, and after I was done putting on the mic, I turned around, giving her a hug. She looked a bit baffled with the hug I gave her, but she pat my back, wishing me a good luck, and still put medicines on the table.

 

Actually, yeah, I got sick. Lately I got sick so easily and I can’t even understand why, because usually I don’t. I assume the sickness, alongside with not having periods, was the side effect of taking birth control pills, and that my body was still getting used to it. My head felt so heavy, and I felt uncomfortable nudges of mysterious pain on my lower stomach, but I ignored it.

 

Today was my first ever solo stage ever since I became a singer, and I was about to do a collaboration with a Block B member, P.O. Our duet song was released a week ago, and today was our first debut stage. I got ready first before Jihoon-oppa (P.O’s real name) arrive. He was quite busy with his own schedule with his sub-unit, BASTARZ of Block B. We agreed to make a debut stage at Mnet.

 

My make-up artists and stylists are busy preparing me. Our title song is called Georgeous Punk, with another filler song called Pretty Rapstar. The concept was hardcore hiphop, it combines elements of pure rock music and hip hop, and I had lots of singing parts. The composer said that he did combined a little bit of Linkin Park’s signature style into the song and was very impressed with our work, because it turned out that my voice with P.O’s raps synchronized with the song well.

 

And my style today resembles my favourite style a lot. I wore a black leather crop top with huge black-and-red tartan coat, black leather pants with metallic embroideries and the usual boots, and my platinum hair was let loose. It had grew longer, a little bit over my shoulders. The make-up artist kept on fixing and adding small things on my make up, while I was letting my voice out, by singing certain parts.

 

Suddenly, the door to my waiting room was opened and a bunch of people came in, along with my duet partner, P.O, or Pyo Jihoon. His hair was also platinum blonde, and being styled a little bit like Wonshik’s hair during VIXX’s Eternity promotion days. He already had his hair, make-up and costume done.

 

“Ah, oppa you came! Hello!” I quickly exchange bows with his crews and himself.

“Rosie-ah! Hi!” Jihoon-oppa walked towards me. After I bowed, we high fived and he embraced me lightly. “How have you been?”

“I’m great! Have you eat? They prepared donuts.”

“Okay. So, are you ready?” He asked, beaming me his usual quirky smile. I giggled.

“Yeah, let’s conquer the stage!”

“That’s the spirit. And you’re very pretty today.”

“Thanks, oppa looks very handsome too today.”

Jihoon laughed. “So today I heard we have two music chart show we have to attend, which left us only about an hour to prepare..”

 

And the chit chat went on about our preparations, the technical matters and anything regarding the performance. P.O was very professional, yet fun, about everything regarding our performance. Soon enough, my mind was filled with every advice he gave me.

 

It felt good, though, to not being able to think about Taekwoon for a while.

 

Soon after that, we were ushered to the stage to have stage check, and then to stand by waiting for our turn. It was a pre-recorded show. After shouting a powerful ‘hwaiting’, we boarded on to the stage. The staff prepared a magnificent, huge stage, quite huge for only the two of us and backdancers. It was set up to resemble an underground hip hop club, and I loved every little details they put.

 

But what was even more shocking was the fact that there were so many fans that came.

 

“Wow..” I unconsciously exclaimed.

“Come on,” P.O held my hand and we bowed to the audience. “You’ve never had a crowd this much?”

“No,” I shook my head, still in a happy-yet-shocked-state.

 

Our fans filled the whole auditorium and they brought all sorts of placards, light sticks, posters. They were politely cheering, waiting, and they were divided in two rows, the left one was filled with fans of my group, while the right one was filled with Block B’s fans. I could identify them from their accessories.

 

And I was more moved, when I saw so many of both of our fans brought posters which said “P.O and Rose, fighting!” Even more, my fans brought posters that said “No matter what happens, Horse jjang!”

 

Okay, I didn’t expect my fans to also nicknamed me as horse.

But they supported me, and I instantly felt a little bit better.

 

P.O and I went into our position, and as music started playing, cameras rolled and backdancers danced in.

 

 

 

 

“Alright, that’s the end of today’s recording!”

“Thank you very much!”

“You’ve work hard!”

 

It was 11 PM and our last music stage, MBC Music Core, was a wrap. Me and P.O did a deep bow while holding hands, appreciating the fans that had their best to come and cheered for us on stage. After that, we stared at each other while laughing, and all of a sudden P.O took his mic again.

“If you guys don’t mind, I’ll sing something.”

 

The fans cheered loudly, and I clapped while giggling, wiping my sweat with tissues. Then P.O sang the reff part of Block B’s Her. Everyone, even me, sang together with him. I waved my hands following the  fun and catchy rythm. And while singing, I noticed that he didn’t take his eyes off me, so I kept on singing with him. I did the famous gesture of Her choreography, and the fans cheered even more.

 

“Thank you guys! Thanks for coming!”

“Don’t get sick, dress warmly!”

 

We waved, then we went off the stage and P.O put his arms around my shoulder. I could hear him catching his breath.

 

“Wow, today’s really fun. Look at the fans who came!”

“I heard more than 300 came,” I said.

“Yeah, that’s something. I hope we could make it, you know. Numero uno!” P.O exclaimed happily, and I laughed.

“Amen to that!”

 

We bowed, bowed and bowed to everyone we met. The staffs, coordinators, CEO, TV reps, fans and everyone else. While walking to the backstage, we walked passed a group of fans, who quickly cheered and chanted our names, so we decided to stop and greet.

 

“Aren’t you guys tired?” I asked, raising my volume so I could be heard.

“No!” they chanted.

“Noona, are you okay?” one of them, a male fan, asked to me. “You don’t look so well.”

I giggled. “I’m fine, thank you for asking. We will try our best to show our great looks, so don’t worry.”

“P.O oppa, you look very handsome!” a girl shouted from the back side, followed by cheers.

“Thank you, you look good too.”

“P.O oppa, have you exchange numbers with Rose unnie?” someone shouted, again from the back.

 

Me and P.O automatically exchanged stare, then both of us scoffed and laughed at the same time.

“That’s a secret,” P.O said, while putting his arm around my shoulder. “But I’m really thinking of doing so.”

“Oppa, this is too much fan service,” I retorted jokingly, while getting his arm off. Our fans cheered yet again.

“Okay, okay. I think that’s enough, guys, please go home and have a good rest. Eat well too, don’t get sick, so you can continue to cheer tomorrow, okay!” P.O warmly said and the fans responded with a long ‘yes’.

 

The crowd had just started to scramble, when suddenly someone shouted.

“But, unnie, how are you doing with Leo-oppa?” yet again the girl from before asked me.

“Yeah, how come you suddenly got close to someone else?”

“Did Leo-oppa dump you?”

“Aish, I don’t want P.O oppa to get into any scandal with her!”

 

 

Even Jihoon didn’t react to this.

 

I was startled, I really was not ready for that.

 

As I fell silent, I notice that Jihoon sort of stared at me from the sides of his eyes.

 

 

 

Why is this happening again?

 

 

“Okay, you guys, time to scramble. The show will continue tomorrow so please go home and take care, okay? Please be dismissed,” a group of staff shooed the fans, while rescuing me with P.O back to the waiting room.

 

 

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked me, in a worried tone.

“Oh, I’m okay oppa, don’t worry. We have practice after this, right?” I said, while sitting down on the sofa, next to him.

“Rosie, we could bail one practice if you don’t feel well,” Jihoon said, while taking off his black suit.

I shook my head. “I’m okay, oppa.”

He sighed. “That’s fine. I’m tired too... do you want to get something to eat?”

“I sort of want tteokpokki. How about you?”

“That sounds great. Tteokochi. Hmmm...” he smacked his lips, and I laughed.

 

 

After half an hour of drive in P.O’s company van, we arrived at the tteokpokki shop that Jihoon said he liked. He finally agreed with me, to have practice right after we eat. The place was at the edges of Han River, and not many young people was there.

Me and Jihoon went off the car. We already got changed, as for me, I wore my usual huge, black parka, with sweater and black jeans and boots, while Jihoon covered his hair with beanie and looked a little bit similar with me. He looked really hungry, as he immediately approached the lady and ordering things.

“Eomonim, can I have tangsuyuk and tteokocchi with sweet sauce? Hey, Rose. What do you want to eat?”

“I want tteokocchi and oden.”

“Right. Don’t worry, I’ll pay. How much is it?”

 

We went busy right away with picking up foods and paying, then we sat around a table at the corner of the tent. Jihoon ordered lots of soju, which I avoid.

 

“You can’t drink?” Jihoon asked while chewing. I quickly shook my head.

“I’d rather not get drunk when going to practice,” I said, having a huge bite of tangsuyuk.

Jihoon scoffed. “Okay... so now I’m the bad influencer here.”

I giggled. “Why are you the bad influencer?”

He swallowed, hard. “Because I’m older than you, so I’m the influencer, and you’re the.. uh.. influencee.”

I laughed louder than I should. But right at that time, my phone rings and VIXX’s song, Time Machine rang loudly. “Oppa, sorry, I have to take this,” I whispered. Jihoon nodded while gulping down his soju.

 

Wonshik’s name flashed on the caller ID.

 

“Hi, Wonppa!”

“Hello! Hey, has your schedule ended?” Ravi asked.

“No, I still have practice until 2 AM, but now I’m eating with P.O oppa.”

“What? Really?! Hey, can I come by?”

“Wait then, I’ll ask P.O oppa first,” I said, then I turned back to Jihoon. “Oppa, can I have a friend coming now?” I asked.

Jihoon swallowed. “Umm? Who?”

“It’s Ravi from VIXX.”

“Really? Is he on the phone?”

“Yes.”

“Can I speak with him?” Jihoon asked, unexpectedly excited. I hand him the phone. “Ya, Wonshikkie!”

Aaaand the conversation between two of them went along. They seemed to have fun talking, and seeing my curiosity, Jihoon put the call on loud speaker. Wonshik and Jihoon were neighbors back in Jamshil, and they’re the same age, so they talked informally now.

 

“Okay then, wait for me. I’m not far.”

“Fast, okay, or I’ll eat everything!” Jihoon jokingly threated.

“Hey, no! Wait for me, okay? Bye.”

“Yeah, yeah. Careful,” Jihoon ended the phone call. “He’ll be here shortly, he turned out to be near here.”

“Where is he?” I asked.

“Oh, he’s at KBS. He’ll arrive soon.”

I continued eating my tteokochi, which was even more delicious than I expected.

 

While waiting for Wonshik, we talked about a lot of things, mainly me asking things about Jihoon. And he was happy knowing that I had become his fan. Jihoon said he was happy to be able to work with me, that me, him and Wonshik are triple Aquarians and that we have so many things in common. For example, Jihoon said his charisma and Wonshik’s charisma sometimes resembled each other, and that the three of us are the most different member in each of our groups, as we have our own style.

 

Not long after that, a huge Range Rover arrived and parked right behind Jihoon’s van. I noticed it very well.

“Wonshik-oppa is here!” I exclaimed.

 

And Wonshik did ran into the tent, taking off his aviator sunglass and exchanged high fives with Jihoon right away. They speak with a certain satoori that I can’t comprehend, but they really looked close.

“Hi, Rose!” Wonshik pat my shoulder, while taking a seat next to me. “Been here long?”

“Umm.. about half an hour. It’s not that long. What were you doing at KBS?”

“Just a recording for an interview,” Wonshik said. “Wow, I’m hungry. Can’t you buy me something, Pyo-ah?”

“Ya, buy it yourself!”

I laughed. And yes, Wonshik finally bought everything on his own, and eating so diligently.

 

 

What made me happy was that Wonshik acted normally in front of Jihoon, as if me and him had nothing going on a couple of days ago.

 

“Ya, are you really gonna eat all those?!” Jihoon asked in disbelief, with both cheeks stuffed with food.

“Look at yourself!”

“I’m hungry after performing.”

“Well, me too!”

“Let’s fight after this.”

“I don’t know, I might get too sleepy when I’m full.”

“Then we’ll fight on your bed.”

“Yours.”

“Guys, stop! Cheesus.. Hahaha.” I can’t help but to laugh.

Wonshik and Jihoon continued chatting about so many things, bickering about nonsensical jokes, even asked me to judge whose gwiyomi was cuter, until I think I had seen all ten packs of gwiyomi sets that Wonshik had learned from MBLAQ’s Lee Joon.

 

“Okay, you guys should stop, I feel like I could hit something,” I catch my breath after laughing too much, while Wonshik and Jihoon still laughed.

“Whew... okay one last thing! Rosie, choose. Me and Wonshik, who do you like the most?”

I almost choked on my oden. “What?!”

“Choose!” Jihoon asked, his cheeks blossoming in pink. Maybe he drank too much? Wonshik just holding back his giggles.

“Oh, don’t make her choose, Pyo-yah. She won’t be able to.”

“No no no, I wanna know. You know, I like her, she’s like a sister, no, a pal. Choose, dear.”

 

I frown, I really can’t.

 

“Ugh, fine. Wonshik-oppa.”

“Yeheheah,” Wonshik laughed, fist flying high. Jihoon exclaimed an ‘aww, no fun’ while taking another gulp of soju, and at this rate, I don’t think he would be able to practice well.

“But, why do you keep calling us with ‘oppa’? You’re exactly the same age with us both, older than me by one day!” Jihoon asked.

“I don’t know, I just like it, I guess. You’re my sunbae anyway.”

“Just call me Jihoon then.”

“Only if that’s okay.”

“Uh-huh. Gosh, I feel sooo sleepy, I don’t think I wanna practice today. Uff...”

And Jihoon just put his forehead on the table, sighing.

“Ya, you drink too much,” Wonshik nagged.

“No, really. Ayssh, I don’t want to practice. Sorry Rose.” Jihoon continued mumbling.

“It’s fine, if you don’t feel well,” I said, while signalling Jihoon’s road manager politely to come pick him up.

“I did this on purpose anyway, I really don’t want to practice. I wanna sleeeep~~”

 

Then Jihoon’s manager came, and with Wonshik’s help, he was transported into the van. After that, with apologies, I thank the manager and he drove Jihoon home.

 

“Well, now it’s just you and me,” Wonshik finally sat in front of me.

I took a glimpse on my wrist watch, it was already 1 PM.

“Wow, it’s this late, huh,” I mutter.

“What time is it?”

“1 AM.”

“I can drive you home if you want to,” Wonshik said.

“I want to go somewhere else,” I said.

“Where?”

“Umm... Han River.”

 

 

 

 

RAVI’s POV

 

 

 

The air was cold, piercing the skin right through the bones, but I really enjoy walking around Han River like this with Rosie. We both had our parka on, and I played some songs on my phone, as we listen to it with my earphones and walking side by side. I played Bangtan Sonyeondan’s song from their newest album, Jabajweo (Hold Me Tight).

 

“I like this song,” Rosie said, while looking straight up front.

“Nice, huh.”

“They delivered the emotion of the song very well.”

“Rosie.”

 

 

I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped walking, and under a dim street light, we stood facing each other.

 

 

How long had I dreamed for this scene to happen? This flower in my arms, right in front of me. Her red lips, her flowy hair, her pale skin, pink cheeks, her grey eyes..

 

I held her hands. They were frozen cold.

 

 

“You know how I feel about you, right?” I asked her, almost desperately.

She nodded, hesitantly, as if she was trying to look away.

“Rose, please look at me.”

And she did. Although I knew, that in those eyes, she didn’t see me, didn’t look for me.

“I love you, no matter what. So please, don’t be sad... Stop hiding everything behind your smile, and just... just come to me, please, ” I begged her, caressing her cheeks.

 

Rosie stayed quiet, which made my heart hurt even more.

“I... I promise if you ever want to make me yours... I will never hurt you... So.. Will you look at me, just once..?”

 

 

 

But she turned her face away, and taking her hands off me.

“I want to sit,” she shortly said while walking towards a nearby bench, then she quietly sat down. I quickly followed and sat next to her, as she took something out of her pocket.

 

Cigarette, and a lighter.

 

 

My eyes felt like it was going to jump out of its socket as she put the cigarette between her lips, lit it, and smoked.

 

I was a smoker myself, and still am. But I never knew that she was a smoker too. Even if she made it up and pretend to smoke, she didn’t seem like an amateur. And her choice of cigarette was quite heavy for newbie smokers.

 

She turned her face to me.

 

“Why do you look so surprised?” she asked, confused.

“I.. I never know that you smoked.”

She chuckled. “I smoked since I was 19. And I’m a fully legal adult now, so don’t worry.”

I fell silent, and I started to smoke too after she offered me her cigarettes.

 

“I like this,” she said, while exhaling a long trace of smoke.

“What?”

“In this weather, in private at night, smoking. It sort of... took my mind off things.”

 

I couldn’t respond to her, only inhaling the smoke of her heavy, magnum black cigarette.

 

“I had fell in love with an older man, way before I came to Korea,” Rosie suddenly said. “You know what? His lips tasted a lot like yours. His breath was heavy with smoke and coffee stains, and his body was big. He was my first, and he took away my most precious. He left me alone with no reason, and you know how long it took me to forget my love for him? A full two years,” she ended.

 

I, once again, fell speechless. I could only look at her. She was smiling bitterly.

 

“I went into a stressed state in the first year, and got bit-by-bit better in the second. So, yes, right before I met Taekwoon sunbaenim and you, I had just recovered from a severe heart-break condition.”

“I never knew that,” I said, as my eyes fell to the ground around my feet, which was stained by the cigarette’s smoke.

 

Rosie chuckled.

 

“I guess that’s why I couldn’t fall in love just as easy as everyone else... I’m still scared of what love could bring me. And my fear came alive a couple weeks ago, right... So, please...”

 

I raise my eyes to face Rosie, who quietly, fell weak in tears,

 

“.. Please... don’t force me to love just yet...”

 

“Rosie...” I held her chin softly, my fingers wet with her tears.

 

“Please.. don’t ask me to love... or to forget Taekwoon... because I don’t know how... because... it hurts...”

 

 

I threw away my cigarette and embraced her, bringing her face to my chest. Her cigarette still burns in her fingers, as she quietly cry, as she stared at it.

 

 

 

 

“..And the reason why I smoke... Is that the scent of the smoke... made me feel so safe and secure, once... and I have no power to stay away from it...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I honestly don't understand why my story went even more angst-y than . -,-

Anyway, comment and subscribe please ^_^