FRIDAY

 

ROSIE'S POV

Even though we had debuted for one year, a performance in front of the whole management and its artists still gives me the chills. I’m still so nervous in thinking about what CEO Hwang will say if I fail to deliver my best, or worst, fail to give anything good at all. I am more particularly intimidated by Sung Sikyung sunbaenim, even more than Park Hyoshin sunbaenim. Hyoshin sunbaenim delivered his judgement directly to the point without looking distant and cold, while Sung Sikyung sunbaenim judged people with this cold stare that I just won’t ever feel comfortable of.

Of course, my group had prepared with all our might to not disappoint them. But then, when I remember that VIXX would be there, I feel like I’m going to shrink.

 

Because, to be honest, I am the one who almost give a bad name to them.

 

But I shrug everything off, and follow Ga In who pulled my arms and we boarded the small stage.

My fears came true.

In front of the stage, a big empty space was marked by black tape for dance performances, and  a table with chairs were filled with the company’s main reps right after. CEO Hwang, Sung Sikyung sunbaenim, one of our head producer and our music director. They all looked friendly and warm as we bow to them and greet them.

Right behind the judging panel, all of the members of VIXX, Brian Joo sunbaenim, Seo In Guk sunbaenim were also present, accompanied by several other artists from our company.

 

“Done counting?” Eunhee suddenly whispered in my ear. I snapped out of my nervousness, gave out an awkward chuckle and stood in line with the members as how we practiced before. I was glad that they prepared a grand piano, a guitar and a drum set on stage. It was clearly set there for us when the reps ask us to show our individual talent, right after our group performance.

 

CEO Hwang stood up, accompanied with applause from the other audience. He gave a little bit of welcoming speech, a cheerful ‘hwaiting’ for us, and sat back down. After that, Sung Sikyung sunbaenim gave us a silent cue.

I took the last glance to VIXX’s row of chairs. Everyone were present. Hongbin, Ravi and Sanghyuk were anticipating us with this excited grin. Ken was talking with one of the models, while Hakyeon and Leo stared at us with this kind of weird look... Hakyeon looked like he stole glances between Leo and me.

I smiled, pretended I don’t care.

 

Music started, and Gain started singing as the main vocal.

We were in love, please don’t make me cry

For me, it’s only you..

My turn came.

When I close my eyes, I see you.

When I block my ears, I hear you.

Please don’t leave me...

(Eunhee and Gain) The person who became a light in my dark life, such as precious person

A day passed, another days passed and I long for you even more

(Eunhee) Even as I sing this song..

 

(Gain) We were in love, please don’t make me cry

For me, it’s only you..

(Rosie) When I close my eyes, I see you.

When I block my ears, I hear you.

Please don’t leave me...

 

(Eunhee) You might come back, because you might return

Again, today, I wait for you.

(Rosie) You don’t know, don’t know how much I’m hurting

Even as I sing this song...

 

(Jihae) If I were to choose between you and the world

Even if everything is taken away from me

If it’s you, I’m okay.

Day and night I’m thirsty for love

My unseemly promises to forget you makes me cry again, can you hear me?

The only thing I want from you is you.

Without you, I can’t do anything.

 

(Rosie) If you hear this song, please come back, come back

To me it’s only you.

We were in love, please don’t make me cry.

Don’t leave me....

 

(Jihae) In the end, you turned away and kept me away

I threw away my pride and like a crazy person, I followed you

But my heart urged me on and told me not to lose you,

Who is the only one in this world.

I pretend to smile, to be fine.

This is the last song I am singing for you.

Please, don’t leave me..

 

 (Rosie) Please, don’t leave me...

 

I unconsciously kept looking at VIXX’s row, and didn’t realize that my gesture went like I was extending my arm to reach something in thin air. I slowly put my hand down.

The whole room suddenly applauded us. Park Hyoshin sunbaenim kept on saying ‘daebak’, and I could hear CEO Hwang saying, “Now this is a high quality girl group, right!”

“Immortal Song should be next!”

“Seijoon-hyung did a great job with them!”

“Should we make a family concert, then, hyung?”

 

I exhaled long, smiling. I was glad that our first performance is done. I pat Gain on the back, and we bowed, waiting to be judged.

Park Hyoshin started judging first. He said that there’s no doubt that we are a group of very talented singers, and we deserve the chance to perform solo if there is a chance. He also stated that my voice sounded very strong and that it was the first time he heard me being so.

Then Sung Sikyung sunbaenim said that he was amazed we could deliver that well. He reminded Eunhee on her breathing technique and power. Same goes with our vocal producer. Our music director said nothing much, other than ‘I should give you more ballad’. CEO Hwang passed, only giving two thumbs up with a big smile.

We thanked them and bowed down. It was solo performances next.

Jihae stayed on the stage and singing solo with a dance, BoA’s Only One. Me and the kids watched her performance from aside. She performed so strongly, I never remember seeing Jihae giving such high note on any performance. I can’t stop applauding hard when she finished.

Jihae came down of the stage, running out of breath. I laughed while patting her back, saying she did a great job. After giving Ga In a huge bear hug, Ga In climbed on to the stage as she was next. She sang Taylor Swift’s Safe and Sound. I was so focused on her singing until I didn’t even notice anything else that happens around me.

Her voice were softer than it normally was, and the way she played the guitar was so calming. I felt so proud of my maknae. The song suits her vocal character so much. And after she did it, the crowd applauded her just as strong as before.

Next up was Eunhee. She never seem to be nervous anyways, so the girls high fived her when she climbed on stage. She was singing something happier, Lee Hi’s 1-2-3-4. She did well, I think. Eunhee’s voice was always a little bit jazzy.  

But I can’t watch her whole performance. In order to prepare my next performance, Jihae, me and Ga In quickly went to the empty room near the stage to change our simple dresses from before to our dance costume. I was wearing tight black leather pants as a base, so it was easier for me. I only covered my tights with a tartan shirt that I tied on my hip, replaced my white sweater with tight croptop that showed my fortunately, toned abs, and put on a black net-tanktop. Jihae and Gain changed into almost-similar costumes, black tight hot pants with black sneakers and white long-sleeve croptop. After we checked our looks, we went out just on time to see Eunhee’s last line.

After Eunhee was done with her performance, Jihae, me and Ga In came on stage. It was a collaborative performance. We decided to also bring up a dance performance. This was rarely done, because public recognized our company to be filled with ballad singers. So I decided to bring something fresh. My friends and I agreed we would perform a cover of Bangtan Boys’ dance routine using Meek Mill’s song. It required 3 person, and they chose me to portray Park Jimin’s part, because apparently I could do backflips and air spins on our training session before. We were also a fan of Bangtan since our training days, and often met the members during outings. Jihae also had met and talked to Bangtan’s Suga before on a radio show.

After a deep breath and cheered ‘fighting!’ together, we walked into the supposed stage. The intro music started as I stepped on the center, facing CEO Hwang. We bowed, and kept our head down waiting for the beat. I notice that the crowd grew closer around us, it was because they were curious what we were going to bring up. I smirked.

 

I’m gonna lit fire on es asses. Wait and see.

 

Then it came. As usual, the fire in me lit up soon as the song started to play. I was the center with opening routine. I put all of my power into it, and even amidst my concentration, the crowd’s already show lots of excitement, and they shrieked and applauded when I do the backflip succesfully. I can’t help smirking all the way during the choreo. The crowd went even more excited during the of our choreo. I could somewhat see Jihae and Gain gave their cold smirks as well.

Then the song ended. The choreo was done and we held our last pose when the crowd gave us standing applause, even CEO Hwang stood and cheered. Some of them cheered really loud. After that, we bowed to them, and as the audience walked back to the seat, the judges started giving their comments.

“Amazing power, Rosie. Jihae and Gain, add more power next time. But Rosie, I know from a long time ago since you were a trainee, that your center point of power is manly dances. Try to put some work on your feminine dance moves,” said Sikyung sunbaenim. I thanked him and moving on.

Turns out the other judges didn’t even have anything to say. I was so happy even though I almost lose my breath, but then I climbed on stage and took the mic while Jo, my pianist helper and my friend, sat on the piano chair, waiting for my cue.

“Are you going to perform your last solo for tonight?” asked Park Hyoshin sunbaenim.

“Yes I am. I dedicate this solo performance to...” I almost stumbled before I finished, but I inhaled deeply and continue, “... I dedicate this song to our VIXX sunbaenim and my team, also to CEO Hwang, as a form of apology for what I did wrong last week. I am sorry to cause you so much inconvenience, so please accept my apology through this song.”

 

There, I said it. I took a glimpse towards CEO Hwang, who sat there looking a little bit surprised, and then to Leo.

I’ve never seen such expression on Leo’s face. He looked.. shocked.

I inhaled deep, giving cue to Jo and he started playing the piano. I started singing even with my dance costume on.

 

Where you are, I will be there too.

Where you go, I will go there too.

 

I smile for you every day, I pray for you

With thoughts of you, I fall asleep

I open my eyes as I call for you

You protect me by my side and you embrace me

You are my heaven.

 

I took glances to Leo’s direction. I could see Hakyeon keep holding Leo’s shoulder, and looking at him. But Leo was staring at me with a weird expression, like he was being burned alive.

 

I notice my voice started to shake, so I focused back and sing with more power.

 

You’re my only one way, only for you

I am thankful that I’m next to you

You’re the only one babe

You taught me love in this harsh world

I am happy with you alone

 

Heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven..

If we’re together, we will never cry, never ever cry

Heaven.. forever, together, never gonna be alone…

 

I started to feel my eyes lost its focus as something wet and warm got in its way. But I have no reason to stop singing, and I feel my power in my voice got stronger than ever. I could even sing the high notes with no difficulties.

Just like how Leo sang this song, a long time ago, in his studio when he first let me in.

 

I breathe in your arms, we kiss in your arms

When I hear your voice, it feels like I’m dreaming

I can tell from you eyes, I can tell about your love.

You are my heaven...

 

You’re my only one way, only for you

I am thankful that I’m next to you

You’re the only one babe

You taught me love in this harsh world

I am happy with you alone

 

I noticed something different. As my heart grow painful, my high notes gone even more powerful.

 

Heaven, my only person, yes, the only person who will protect me

Any sadness, any pain..  If only I’m with you,

I’m not jealous of anyone else

Hold my two trembling hands

Because the reason I live is you...

 

I saw Hakyeon held Leo’s shoulder tighter when Leo finally let his head hung down. I saw something that sparkled, fell from his face to his lap.

 

You’re my only one way, only for you

I am thankful that I’m next to you

You’re the only one babe

You taught me love in this harsh world

I am happy with you alone...

 

Heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven..

If we’re together, we will never cry, never ever cry

Heaven.. forever, together, never gonna be alone…

Oh, so alone....

 

In the end, I exhaled so long, and then I bowed deep. The judging panel, once again, applauded and seem to be at loss of words.

I forced myself to smile, but I can’t held back my tears. Without waiting, I put back my mic to its stand, and bowed again to everyone.

“I’m so sorry..” I whispered in a choked voice. CEO Hwang stood up, looking confused.

I left the stage in a hurry as I try to hide my tears, and I saw Leo standing up.

I ran away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HAKYEON’s POV

 

 

Oh, this is NOT going to be comfortable, I thought to myself.

“Taekwoon-ah,” I whispered.

He shot me a blank look.

“I know you’re not going to feel good having to see Rosie. You can go out if you like. I’ll excuse you to the manager,” I offered. I honestly worry that something might happen if the two meet.

But this kid shook his head eagerly.

“I want to see her,” he said.

 

I sighed. There’s no use trying to convince him anyway. So I just put my hand on his back. That way he could still focus.

 

There she was, Rosie Song. Turns up she’s singing tonight, when usually she raps more.

And that.. was one hell of a voice.

She was strong. Maybe even more than their vocal line. Why did she never show her skill on her songs?

 

But their song choice, the lyrics... I can’t help not looking at Taekwoon every once in a while. His expression, I believe, he tried hard to make it look as blank as possible, as usual. But I could tell that he feel uncomfortable. I saw Rosie’s eyes. She looked straight at him. But Taekwoon can’t even look at her for long.

 

“There are two types of people who can’t look at you in the eyes;

Someone trying to hide a lie,

and someone trying to hide a love.”

 

I sighed. What could I possibly do? Taekwoon held back as much as he could.

 

When the song ended, we applauded for them. Sanghyuk clapped too eagerly until Hongbin laughed at them. Then performance after performance was done, and all Taekwoon did was hanging his head low, grabbing his head with both hands from time to time.

“Taekwoon-ah, are you okay? Need me to take you out?” I asked.

He shook his head slowly.

I was about to say something when the other audiences suddenly shrieked and cheered louder. When I focused up ahead, I saw Rosie Song, Lee Jihae and their maknae standing in a dance form.

They’re going to dance.

 

And once the music started, even Taekwoon couldn’t take his eyes off.

 

They were amazing. I am a dancer, and even I couldn’t give that big of power that Rosie performed with. She was strong and stunning. Her expression. Her dedication. Her skill and concentration. You could sense those just by watching her dancing. She has this strong character in her dance that sometimes, leave you thinking if she really is a girl or not. She was sternly and strongly beautiful. She was cool.

 

No wonder she was first put in men’s dance class while training.

No wonder she charmed Wonshik.

 

I stole glances at how Taekwoon and Wonshik react. Wonshik watched her with full attention. He was standing up, his mouth parted a little as he moved his body a little bit to the beat, some sort of proud expression crossed his face every once in a while as he grinned and cheered, and Hongbin and Sanghyuk was there to accompany him cheering her.

 

While Taekwoon... he was just sitting there with intense stare.

 

When they finished performing, I couldn’t help clapping so hard until my palms hurt. Wonshik, with the maknae line, cheered and clapped so loudly. But I stopped clapping and sat back when I saw that Taekwoon didn’t react at all. He only sat there, still staring at her intensely.

I sighed, decided to avert my attention at Rosie’s final performance. But what she said on the stage made me even more panicked than before and I can’t even understand why.

 

“... I dedicate this solo performance to.. err.. I dedicate this song to our VIXX sunbaenim and my team, also to CEO Hwang, as a form of... apology... for what I did wrong last week. I am sorry to cause you so much inconvenience, so please accept my apology through this song.”

 

I can’t held back my jaw from dropping. I first looked at Wonshik, who looked like he’s just as confused as Jaehwan, Hongbin and anyone else sitting next to me. But Taekwoon... I sense Taekwoon tensed up next to me, like he was going to stand up, but he wasn’t.

 

Eventually, Rosie sang Ailee’s Heaven. And again, I sunk in her voice. Oh, surely, her vocal quality got way, way better than before. I actually think she’s really good. This song suit her vocal character very much. I actually have never heard her singing for long in any of their song, but this is some high-quality vocal... and she definitely put her soul into the song.

 

But right in the middle of the song, I saw that she had a bit difficulty in breathing... and that she never took her eyes off Taekwoon. The stiffened Taekwoon, who also didn’t take his eyes of her.

 

I sighed. Not this again.

Looks like tonight, everything she sang was everything she wanted to say to Taekwoon. But something in this song sparked a memory.

 

Taekwoon had practiced this song before in the dorm, about a year ago when he first bought the electric piano, the annoying piano he always played in his room.. and that I heard him singing this song while crying.

I didn’t have the courage to open his door and check whether or not he was crying, but his voice was out of the usual.

 

At the moment I can only think that Rosie’s choice of song tonight was of no coincidence.

And my theory was proven when she suddenly left the stage running, and Taekwoon stood up from his chair.

I immediately stood up to held him back, grabbing his arm.

“Taekwoonie, don’t—“

 

He threw my hand away.

He ran outside the auditorium.

Everybody went on a rampage....

And the look on CEO Hwang’s face was something I have never seen before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

LEO’S POV

 

 

That’s it. This has to stop. I can’t...

 

There’s an unusual ringing noise on my ears, and I couldn’t even focus on anything else anymore, other than the images flashing as Rosie ran out of the auditorium. I honestly couldn’t comprehend anything.

“Taekwoonie, don’t!”

 

Rosie.

Rosie.

 

I have to see her.

Where did she go?

 

“Rosie!” the only word that could escape my mouth, in the form of a shout.

I ran. As fast as I could. Outside of the auditorium, into the halls, into the dim corridors.

 

There she was, sitting on the stairs.

I exhaled in relief, as I walked towards her.

“Rose,” I whispered.

 

The beautiful girl raised her face, finally. I reached forward, caressed her cheeks, kissing her eyes. All I know is to wipe her tears away.

“Don’t cry. Don’t. Please,” I kept whispering in her ears. She leaned in and hugged me, tight.

 

“I love you,” she sobbed into my chest.

“I love you even more,” I whispered, trying as hard as I could not to cry.

“Don’t push me away, jebal..”

“I’m not going to. I won’t do it anymore.”

“Don’t you know how much it hurts..” she sobbed.

 

This time, it stings. The tears. My eyes got hot.

“You don’t know how much it hurt me, Rose..” my voice got shaken, as she raised her face.

 

Now, it’s my turn to cry. But I still want to touch her.

She leaned in, and she kissed me first.

 

This kiss felt like it was our first, but also last, kiss.

It was out of love, desperation, need.

 

And right at that moment, I knew, I will be forever wed to this girl.

 

I don’t have the strength to stay away from her anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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First of all, I'M SORRY!!!! *bows deeply*

I'm doing my thesis and I don't have much time on the internet, ottokaji TT__TT

 

I'll give you a treat next time!