"I... I'm really sorry... For slapping you.. I didn't mean to.."   

 "It's okay. I probably deserved it."   

 "N-No no no it's not lik-"  

 "Okay." DooJoon gently removed the strands of hair that's blowing into my face. "It's okay."

I averted my eyes from his and concentrated my mind in deep thoughts. We did managed to get away safely, but that still didn't fix the fact that everyone knows what was going on. Everyone knows what was going on between us. DooJoon and I. We're not just friends like they assumed. 

I'm just lost. And I can't seem to find my way out of this war zone. I'm just scared. And I can't hang onto DooJoon longer than I had expected. There's really no help for DooJoon now since he went all out in public.  His phone has been ringing so much that he literally threw it away. He didn't look pissed or angry or worried at all. He's calm. That left me stabbing myself and wondering how is he so composed when this whole mess is going to affect him greatly. 

But DooJoon sure didn't know what to do. None of us know what to do. I mean, we're just standing here, next to each other, under a big tree that shaded parts of us off reality, and staring blankly into the thin, heavy air. 

The surroundings are still which is good, although some people do passes by with weird eyes and brains that asked all over if that person standing there with this other person is the famous actor, Yoon DooJoon. 

I don't know how many feelings are mixed together right now. This is exactly of what I'm afraid of if DooJoon and I get together. I'm afraid of the huge gap between us that's wider than the Universe. I'm afraid of the thick line drawn in between us. I'm afraid of the hard, brick wall built to separate us. I'm afraid of the fact that we're both worlds apart from each other. And it hurts. Both of us are hurt. 

I clenched my fist tight and shut my eyes closed. My thoughts rampaged on. Thoughts and thousands of imaginations flashes in my head. And my brain carved every single scenery.

 "This. Is. Wrong." He suddenly interrupted through my gallery of horrible but possible thoughts. "It's Christmas for Christ's sake! Why are we standing here doing nothing?"  

 "W-Wh-" I opened my eyes and turned to look at him face-to-face.  

 "I said we should go on a date. And here we are, letting strangers ruining our day."   

 "Doo-"  

 "You know what? Whatever. I don't care anyways."  

 "Huh?"  

 "I really can't stand here and try hard to breathe properly cause the thought of me hurting you is suffocating." DooJoon sighed.  

 "What? No. You're no-"  

 "I know this place! And I've been wanting to take you there. So let's go! Let's spend our Christmas with someone special, someone you love."  

 "Are you sure? I mean... I'm-"  

 "Which has to be me right?"  

 "Excuse me?" I blinked a couple of time.   

 "I'm the person you love, right?" DooJoon beamed.  

 "Um.. Uh.. Yea.. Sure.."   

 "What? You "sure"? Come on now~"   

 "Alright. You are." I smiled weakly. "You are my someone special."

DooJoon started grinning like an idiot before covering my hand with his. I dropped my gaze. We're actually trying to break the barrier between us to approach each other. I mentally sighed. There's no helping it I guess. We both have fallen too deep. And there's no way we can get back up without being shattered to pieces. But whatever happens in the future, let it come. Right now, I just wanna forget reality and enter the fantasy. I'll ignore every living creature and go on spending our first Christmas together.   

 "Hey." DooJoon moved the position of his hand and intertwined our fingers.   

 "Hmm." I hummed in response.  

 "Since I first met you, I've always been curious about you. Like why aren't you like others, and why are you so cold." 

I smiled as I scooted closer to DooJoon as we walked out of that peaceful place we were standing in earlier to a busier road.  Well, I'm a natural cold person. Probably I'm like this because the aftermaths of everyone I cared the most in my whole life had stepped out and left me hanging onto nothing.   

 "I want to know you."   

 "But you already know me."  

 "No. I haven't known you enough." DooJoon turned his head and made eye contact with me. "I want to so much about you that I can understand you."

I turned away and chuckled.  

 "What? That didn't make sense?"  

 "No no no. It makes sense." I nodded while still sort of laughing now.

DooJoon shrugged and we continued walking with tons of eyes piercing through our skin. But neither of us cared. I completely shut myself out from the world. All I can see and hear right now is DooJoon. It's enough for me. I don't need to see or hear anything else.   

 "HyunSeung-ah." DooJoon said. "Forget about everything else and only fill your head with images of me, could you do that for me?"

The question sort of taken me back a bit, but like I said, let the future comes by itself and just enjoy our moments together.   

 "Of course. I'm glad to." I leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. "And I'm already doing that. For you. For both of us."

I ignored the pain of thousands of knives scratched and make its way deeper inside my heart. I ignored my insecure  emotions that's boiling inside my veins. I ignored the scared feeling flowing up my head. I pushed the extreme lost and abandon to the back of my mind. 

I bit down harshly on my lip.