Hongbin bit his lip as he looked at you with those longing eyes. "Hongbin." You muttered in a low voice, with a hint of urgency in it. "Please?" You looked at him with pleading eyes as he sighed and nodded, squeezing your hand one last time before letting it go. 

You closed the door behind you and turned around to look at the boy sitting at the edge of the seat. You could feel his distress even if you were standing far away from him, you didn't know what to do with him. You ran your fingers through your brown hair and inched towards him.

"Jaehwan oppa?" You called out.

Your heart broke and you felt your stomach flip as you tightened your grip on your dress. When he turned around at your call, his eyes were red and b with tears— evident that he was crying before you came in. You just wanted to die, seeing him suffer like this. Jaehwan's chest heaved up and down due to his unsteady breath, his eyes looked so empty, the happiness and joy all dissipating into nothingness, leaving him like a ruined mess. 

It was not long before you broke out in your own tears and went forward, hugging him. The both of you said absolutely nothing, just staying in each other's embrace and crying. You sobbed into Jaehwan's chest as he hold you tight, placing his chin on your shoulder as his hand rested on the back of your head, crying as much. 

"Why did she have to leave so soon?" He croaked out with his raspy voice. "I don't know, oppa, I don't know.." You cried, gripping onto his dress shirt. "I don't understand, I really don't. She didn't deserve all that." Jaehwan continued, shutting his eyes tight and hoping that this was all just a dream.

"She's in a better place, oppa. Grandma was the nicest person ever." You assured him, forcing a smile on your face when all you wanted to do was just lock yourself away from reality and cry yourself to death. You hated doing this but you had to put up a strong front for him, his grandmother was all he had and now she's gone.

The people most affected by Grandma Lee's passing were you and Jaehwan. Jaehwan's grandmother knew you had an interest in flowers, so she always invited you to her orchard to look at flowers, to plant your own and she always gave you flowers ever visit. You lost your grandma when you were very young so she was just like your own grandmother, just like how she treated you as her own granddaughter. 

It pained you so much when you first received the news, you fainted and Hongbin had to bring you to the hospital. But you kept it in well, you wanted to be there for Jaehwan.

But you didn't think that reality would come slapping you in the face so hard. You stumbled out of Jaehwan's house and threw up in the nearby drain before tears streamed down your pale face. Reality was harsh— and it was attacking her, tearing her world apart. 

It knocked the numbness off you and the pain just came at you in just one single blow. It wasn't until your heart broke, nor was it until your whole world was destroyed. You just felt that you were broken beyond repair, you didn't want to face reality anymore. It was ridiculous how the lively, warm woman that welcomed her at this spot a week ago, was now a cold and lifeless body whose soul was stolen by the Grim Reaper.

This wasn't fair.

You let out a painful, blood-curdling scream that echoed in the garden as you pounded your fists onto the cement road. Blood seeped through your cracked knuckles but you didn't care. For this was less painful compared to the truth you were facing.

She was gone.

Your nails were broken, your knuckles were cracked. But none of the pain registered. 

She was never coming back.

"I'm sorry, we tried our best to get her back. But it was too serious and it was too late. Her body will be sent to the mortuary for confirmation later, you will be able to carry forward with the funeral and any procedures soon. I'm sorry for your loss."

No.

No.

No.

You clawed at your face, blood from your knuckles smearing all over as you pulled your hair. You went crazy at the thought that she was gone. 

You were on your way to get some new pots for Grandma Lee when you received the news that she passed on. You were angry. How could she just leave yoi like that? How could she do that to you? It was so so unfair. It was so wrong.

You felt as if you couldn't breath and that someone was choking her. Your heart felt constricted and just numb. Heavy, painful moans escaped your bleeding lips. 

"Lee Minseo. Time of death: 11:53 am. June 25th, 2015."

Wrong.

This was wrong, this must be a mistake.

Wasn't fate done playing around? Wasn't it done messing your life up? 

If it could take anyone's life, shouldn't it be yours? Grandma Lee was innocent, she had nothing to do with this. But you could only scoff at yourself when you realized that it wanted you to suffer as you watch your loved ones leave you, leaving you like a heated mess. 

"Hyomin!" You heard someone's voice and turned your head, taking in the view of the 6 boys rushing towards you with looks of worry on their faces. They must've noticed you were missing and heard your loud cries. Hongbin crouched down in front of you and took your hands in his, it hurt when he held it too tight, but you didn't feel the incoming pain at all. "Why are you so silly? What are you doing to yourself?" He asked, tearing up. 

He couldn't bear watching you broken like a rag doll that was thrown around and stepped on. It hurt him so much that he would give anything to be in your place, to feel your pain and take the burden of it in your place.

Jaehwan leaded you to his room and made you sit down, he took a good look at you before his hand caressed your cheek, brushing away the stray tears with his thumb. "Hey, look at me." He whispered. You blinked away your tears and in a breath, locking eyes with him before you felt your world collapsing again. Jaehwan just reminded you so much of her, it hurt to look at him. "Baby, you're okay." He tucked a strand of your hair back at your ear and reassured you. "You told me that Grandma's in a better place, so why should we be sad about this?" He smiled softly at you, wiping away your tears once more. 

"She stopped suffering from her illness and she's watching over us, up there." He continued, staring into your eyes. "She may not be with us physically, but she'll always be deep in our hearts, remember that." Jaehwan smiled again at you. "Now, let's get you cleaned up, baby." 

He cleaned and disinfected your wounds carefully before wrapping them in bandages. Smiling, he placed a kiss on them before kissing you on the cheek. "The lips are for Hongbin," He whispered cheekily, ruffling your hair before leading you downstairs again. 

You were mentally drained, just physcially hanging in there. 

You would've given anything to be in grandma's place.

Because it was better off dead than being alive with the pain. With the unbearable pain of having someone important to you torn from you, unforgiving, from your very own hands.

You'd do anything if it meant for her to come back to you. 

"Babe." Hongbin breathed out, pulling you into a hug. He could feel you breathing painfully in his embrace, and there was nothing he could do about it and it was killing him inside. You went limp in his embrace, your legs weakly giving way before he grabbed you and sat you down on the couch. You pushed yourself away from him as everyone looked at you with sympathetic eyes, wanting to help you but they knew it was impossible. You were mentally tortured and they couldn't do anything to help.

You buried your face into your palms and shut your eyes tight— still holding onto that tiny spark of hope that she will come down the stairs and tell you that new flowers blossomed, telling you that you and Jaehwan could go pick one or two back. 

The boys never saw you more broken. Not even when you came crying to them, telling them you had a bad dream about Daehyun years ago. 

If there was something you feared the most, it had to be losing someone you loved. 

"Hyomin-ah," You could hear Hakyeon calling for you. He never used your name unless he was being really serious. 

You couldn't bring yourself to look up at him beside you would just be a crying mess, seeing how much they hurt from seeing you like this. They didn't deserve this. 

You removed your face from your palms and tilted your head back, letting your tears escape, after being bottled up so carefully, to fall down from your face.  

Come back. Please just come back home. Come back to me and Jaehwan, we miss you so much. You can't be like this, you can't just leave me here like this. Who's going to make me a bouquet when I get married? Who's going to be there for me when I lose myself? Are you listening? Come back. Please.

"Hyomin." He said once more, firmly. He stopped calling you baby for a while now, where you'll normally retort back telling him you're no longer a baby anymore, even though you liked that nickname. But it just didn't feel right having to argue with him in this situation, where all lost someone close to your heart, when you wanted to just die away.

You wanted this to end faster. 

"Hyomin, let's go." Jaehwan said quietly, stretching his hand out for you to grab. You were kneeling on the ground, in front of her coffin, dressed in your black hanbok. 

You didn't want to leave.

You didn't even get the chance to say goodbye.

You didn't even get the chance to see her.

You didn't even get the chance to hear her warm voice once more.

How could she just disappear like that?

You didn't move, scooting yourself closer to the coffin, to get a bettter view of her smiling picture with a flower garland hung over it. 

You promised me that you'll always take care of me.

Why did you leave?

Jaehwan sighed and glanced at the coffin.

Grandma, please help her through this. This is going to ruin her.

Jaehwan sat down next to her, rubbing her back and comforting her as much as he could. It made him sick just sitting in the funeral room in the hospital, he just shivered, looking at how torn apart the girl he was holding was. She had so much taken away from her, he couldn't bear to see her this way. Jaehwan swallowed the lump in his throat and kept back his tears. His heart squeezed painfully when he heard her whimpers once again, seeing tears fall from the corners of her eyes. 

"Jaehwan oppa," You called out softly, his turn immediately snapped to you. "Can I stay over tonight?" You asked. "Mhmm," He hummed with a smile on his face, "The house is empty anyway." Pain flashed across his eyes but he immediately shook it off with another small smile. "Let's go." 

You walked into the house with Hongbin's blazer in your hand after Jaehwan. The boys all went back to grab some clothes, Hongbin getting yours too before meeting back at Jaehwan's house. You know they were all doing this for you, they didn't need to come along but they wanted to. Just because they didn't want you and Jaehwan to drown in sadness by yourselves. 

You didn't show it but you were grateful for what they wanted to do for you. 

Nimbly kicking your shoes off, you inched towards the stairs with a blank expression on. "Go take a warm bathe, I'll cook something up for you." Jaehwan said as he locked the door behind him, setting his keys down on the coffeetable before taking his blazer off. You hummed in response, to weak to even reject his offer even though you knew you'll probably feel nauseous if you ate now. 

You didn't spare a glance at Grandma's room and walked forth to Jaehwan's room, closing the door behind you. You looked down at Hongbin's blazer in your hand and tightened your grip on it. You were thankful for all of them, they were always here for you in the hard times. You stripped yourself off your blank hanbok and stepped into the shower, making it quick since Jaehwan might want to use it. 

You dried yourself and took a look at yourself in the mirror that was fogged up. You could still see your pale face in it, your eyes red and swollen, eyebags being really noticeable. Sighing, you threw on an oversized dress shirt from Jaehwan and a pair of his boxers because you knew he wouldn't mind. You walked out with the towel over your head and hanbok in your arms, just to see Jaehwan sitting at the edge of his bed, loosening his tie. 

"Better?" He asked, but you looked at him with sad eyes and shook your head no. "Come here," He gestured for you to walk over. He took the hanbok from your hands and dumped them in the laundry basket, walking back to you and pulling you into his embrace, rocking you a little. Releasing himself from you, he held you by the shoulders and sat you down on the bed. "It's going to be alright." He muttered, drying your hair with the towel. 

You were convinced that you cried too much that nothing came out of your eyes even if you wanted to just cry your eyes out. "Baby, trust me." He squeezed your hand and said, nodding his head with a slight smile.

You went downstairs and made yourself some tea with the tea leaves you had planted with Grandma, sitting by the window in the little sofa chair Jaehwan got for you. You looked out at the porch, the sky was dark, but you could see the little potted plants sitting at the edge of the window. You looked around outside, the stars weren't that visible tonight, the clouds were all around, it looked like it was going to rain soon. 

"Hyomin?" Jaehwan jumped down the stairs panicked when he didn't see you in sight, but let out a relieved sigh when he caught you staring outside the window, all curled up in the chair. You heard him and turned to look at him, his hair was dripping wet. He probably was too worried about you to just leave you alone longer to dry his hair. You managed to chuckle a little, "You'll catch a cold, oppa." You pointed at his hair, saying. "Take care of yourself before you take care of me." You mumbled, picking up the mug and taking small sips from it. 

The doorbell rang and Jaehwan opened the door, revealing a bunch of boys that held bags of clothes you supposed. "Hey babe," Hongbin placed his paper bag on the floor as he crouched down and gave you a kiss on your forehead. It warmed you up, knowing that you still had him although you were sometimes this melancholic piece of wasted . "Hey back." You said, a smile forming. Hongbin grinned back, his dimples appearing. "I love you, I'm going to take a shower first." He turned and was about to leave, "Do you want to change into your clothes?" He asked, lifting the paper bag that contained your clothes. "It's okay, Jaehwan oppa's clothes are nice." You smiled, secretly liking the smell of his clothes. In a friendly way, you supposed. 

"Alright then." Hongbin wrinkled his nose uneasily, "Are you jealous?" You giggled, seeing him like this. It was nice to finally take your mind off the nasty stuff and focus on what you had then— a loving, silly boyfriend and a bunch of friends that cared for you more than anything. 

"No?" He answered cheekily, pinching your cheek. "See you later," He pecked the tip of your nose and let go of your hand, walking off to take a nice shower he deserved after this long day. 

"I'm so full!" Sanghyuk said, rubbing his tummy. "Hyung, this was awesome." He gave Jaehwan a thumbs up for his chicken noodle soup, earning nods from every one around the room. "Thanks, my grandma taught me how to.." He trailed off, a hint of sadness in his voice. Everyone froze and you just stopped staring at the bowl, which was untouched until now. "Baby, you have to eat something." Hakyeon mumbled in worry, loud enough for you to hear. 

You pushed the bowl away, "Not today." 

"Hyomin-ah, you can't keep on being like this.." He urged as Hongbin looked at you, sadness taking over his beautiful brown orbs again. "You'll ruin yourself." "She wouldn't want you to be like this, right?" Wonshik asked,in hopes of making you feel better. 

"No, if she was still here. But she's not, is she?" You glanced at him with cold eyes, making him look away sadly. 

You didn't want to be like this, but it was all so tiring and burdensome for you. You didn't want to make life any harder than it is anymore for them, but you couldn't control yourself anymore. The sadness was taking over you like waves claiming lives in a tsunami. 

"Sorry," You stood up abruptly from your seat, making the chair screech. Holding the back of your hand to your face, you quickly went upstairs despite the calls for you from the boys. 

Jaehwan thought a little bit about it before opening his mouth to ask for the ridiculous request.

"Hongbin, can I sleep with her for tonight? I promise I won't touch her inappropriately."

"Yah, are you insane?" Wonshik asked, almost slapping the back of his head. "I'm serious." 

Hongbin kept mum and thought about it for a while.

They need each other the most now.

"As long as you don't touch her inappropriately, okay." 

"Thank you so much." He squeeze Hongbin's shoulder as he walked up to find you.

"Hyung.." Sanghyuk trailed off as he noticed Hongbin's bitter expression. "What? I can't do anything to help her, so might as well have someone that can relate to her pain be with her." He sighed.