I smiled as I found myself in our garden. Then, I saw a woman in a white long dress, smiling at me. I stopped in my tracks. A stranger, yet very familiar. “It’s not your fault,” she said.

 

“What are you talking about?” I asked, totally bewildered.

 

“My death,” she smiled again. “It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“I don’t know you,” I said. It sounded rude but it’s half-true. She smiled again. Then, it finally hit me. We had the same smile and the same eyes!

 

“M-mom?” I asked. But she was already gone. Instead, a man was now in her place, a faceless guy.

 

“Stay alive, Kitten,” he said. “Stay alive.”

 

I blinked and he was gone, too. A blurry of images and scenes flashed before my eyes rapidly, making my head spin. I tried to move, but my arms felt heavy, it’s as if they were locked at my side.

 

I gasped then woke up. I saw a white ceiling as I opened my eyes. I frowned. Where am I? Then, I heard a creak. I turned my head to the side. Sooner or later, a woman in white came in. “Oh, you’re awake!” she said, smiling kindly.

 

“Am I in a hospital?”

 

“Yes,” she answered.

 

“What am I doing here?”

 

“You don’t remember anything?” she asked, alarmed.

 

“I’m. . . confused,” I answered truthfully. She smiled again, looking relieved.

 

“It’s normal. You hit your head pretty hard. The confusion will ease, just give it time.”

 

I turned silent as she set to work.

 

“How long have I been here?” I finally asked.

 

“You were brought here yesterday,” she said. “I’ll inform the doctor you’re awake.”

 

 

Later. . .

 

“. . . . .I’m actually surprised your body endured. . . .”

 

The words floated in my mind. I still feel so confused. My head hurts everytime I try to think. I can’t even understand what he’s saying.

 

“. . . and I believe your boyfriend will be back later,” he finished. “He-“

 

“My head hurts.”

 

~o~

 

Drip. Drip. Drip.

 

It was continuous. It doesn’t really bother me. Contrary to it, I felt comfortable. At least it’s not confusing. I found myself somewhere here and there, I’m not really sure. All I know is that I’m letting some nonexistent wind take my body or was it waves? I don’t know. I don’t want to think anymore. I just went to rest and rest and rest.

 

I stayed oblivious to my surroundings. I’m not sure what’s happening around me OR if something’s happening. I don’t really care anymore. I felt peaceful right at this moment. That’s all that matters.

 

That’s all I want, all I need.

 

A tug. I felt something tugging at the corners of my mind. And it’s making my head freakingly burn. I shoved it out, not wanting to disturb the peace I currently have.

 

Peace.

 

Some time later, I’m not sure when, something changed in me. The peace was slipping away. I tried to grab on it but the more I try, the more it seemed to slip away.

 

And then, I gave up.

 

“She’s fine. Though, you have to be really patient with her.”

 

“What does that mean?” a worried voice asked.

 

“She’ll be very confused. But it’ll pass away.”

 

“But how long?”

 

“I can’t say. She’ll get through, she’s a tough one.”

 

“But she’s so small. Look at her.”

 

That voice was so familiar but it’s not the voice I wanted to hear. Why is that?

 

“Being tough is not all about the size, Wooyoung.”

 

“I know that. But she’s. . . she just looked so fragile, so small.”

 

Wooyoung. That’s Wooyoung oppa. A sense of calm and relief came over me. With that, I started dozing off again. It’s like something’s pulling out my consciousness.

 

~o~

 

Something was missing. That’s the first thing that came into my mind as I gained consciousness again. I blinked my eyes open. I saw Wooyoung oppa dozing off in a chair beside my bed. I felt myself smile as I watched him sleep- the steady rise of his chest. I moved my hand and reached out for him. That’s when I noticed the clear tube attached to me. I frowned. Something’s really missing.

 

Oppa must’ve felt something changed because he slowly stirred awake. “Dara!” he breathed.

 

“Where’s my ring?” I asked. The smile on his face froze for a moment but then, it was gone.

 

“I removed it when they-”

 

“Can I have it back?”

 

“Oh, of course,” he smiled again. “Here,” he said as he slid the ring in my finger. “Where did you get that anyways? It’s not your type of ring.”

 

“Someone gave this to me,” I answered, frowning. “An old lady gave this to me,” I added. Yes, I can remember an old lady gave this to me but. . .

 

“Oh!” he mumbled, then chuckled and went to hug me. “I’m so glad you’re finally here now. I’ve been looking for you. You don’t know what I went through just to find you!”

 

I didn’t answer. I wasn’t really listening. I still can’t understand what I’m feeling. Something’s really missing.

 

“I missed you so much!” he whispered.

 

“I missed you too,” I answered quickly, it was like a knee-jerk reaction. He pulled back gently, chuckling. His hands went up to my face and he gazed deeply into my eyes.

 

I saw every emotion that past in his eyes: love, longing, gratefulness. They weren’t the eyes I’m expecting to see. Moreover, they weren’t the eyes I WANTED to see. I want. . . I want eyes that make me think, make me want to discover what’s in them. I want to see eyes that looked hard when directed at others but turn gentle when looking at me. I want to see eyes that are secretly trying to tell me something.

 

I felt, more than saw his face nearing, head angled slightly to the side. I blinked, and then a wave of something I can’t describe pulled me, making me jump away from him. I saw the hurt in his eyes the moment I did that.

 

“I’m sorry,” I quickly said. “I’m. . .” I stopped, unable to find the right word to describe what I’m feeling.

 

“Confused,” he nodded, then smiled. “It’s okay. Anyways, are you hungry?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’ll just go get you food then,” he said.

 

That night, I dreamt of that faceless guy telling me stay alive again.

 

The following morning, a cheery Wooyoung oppa came in the room. But he wasn’t alone. Hyuna, Taeyeon and Jihyun were surprisingly crying in front of me, telling me how sorry they were for everything, how much they got worried over me and how much they missed me.

 

“Thanks,” I smiled at them, shaking my head with all the nonsense drama. “And I forgive all of you.”

 

They spent a little while with me, served me cake while Hyuna started talking about boys again. It was just like before; it was like nothing happened, like we didn’t have a misunderstanding.

 

Time passed. I didn’t know it was already evening when they left, leaving me and Wooyoung oppa behind. He smiled at me, I smiled back. “Thanks for bringing them. I had fun,” I said.

 

“No problem,” he said. “Why don’t you take a rest already?”

 

“Aren’t you going home?”

 

“No, I’m staying for tonight,” he answered.

 

“Oh, you don’t really have to,” I mumbled shyly.

 

“I’m your boyfriend, remember?”

 

I smiled. “Oh, yes you are. And I’m lucky I’ve got you.”

 

I am lucky, right?

 

“I’m luckier. Actually, I’m the luckiest guy to have you,” he said.

 

“Where’s Uncle?” I asked out of nowhere, totally ruining the mood.

 

His face went still for a while. “He’s really busy these days,” he said. “But he’ll probably visit tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, okay,” I nodded. “Ahm, oppa?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can you. . . can you buy me fruits tomorrow?”

 

He chuckled. “Of course,” he said then leaned down to kiss my forehead. “Now, go to sleep.”

 

“You, too. Goodnight.”

 

“Sweetdreams.”

 

I know I should be thinking about things but I was eager to go to sleep tonight. I was eager to dream. I was eager to hear the voice of that faceless guy, however creepy he looked to me.

 

True to what oppa said, Uncle visited me the following day. He still looked the same, but the rings under his eyes were darker and he looked very tired. As I watched him and oppa talked, I can’t help but wonder where Dad is. As soon as the question formed in my mind, it didn’t really bother me. It’s like I know why he’s not here but I can’t form the reason in my head. Why is that? Ugh! This is such a headache!

 

“Dara, I’ll get going,” Uncle said.

 

“Oh, okay, thanks for dropping by.”

 

“My pleasure, dear,” he smiled then turned to oppa. “Take care of here.”

 

“I always do,” oppa quietly said.

 

“Good,” Uncle said. “I’ll go ahead.”

 

Oppa walked to the chair beside my bed and smiled. “I’ve bought you fruits,” he said. “What do you want to eat first?”

 

“What do you have there?” I asked.

 

“I’ve got apples, grapes, oranges-”

 

JIYONG! my mind screamed at me.

 

Jiyong!

 

Jiyong!

 

“Jiyong!” I exclaimed as it all came back to me. Oh my God! How could I forget? Aish!

 

“Jiyong’s not a fruit,” I heard oppa said.

 

“Of course he’s not but he actually taste like- wait. Oppa! Jiyong is in danger! We should help him! Aish! How could I forget this?!”

 

Dara, calm down. Yes, he’s in trouble for-”

 

“Oppa, WE-NEED-TO-HELP-HIM!!” I urgently said, panicking. I climbed out of bed but he stopped me.

 

“Dara, you’re still not well.”

 

“No!” I protested. “Didn’t you hear me?! Jiyong’s in danger! They could be killing him right now!!”

 

Oppa sighed. “Please calm down, just for a moment.”

 

I looked at him impatiently. Can’t he understand what’s happening here? Jiyong is in freaking danger! Oppa then pushed me back to the bed a bit roughly. There was a worried look in his face mixed with hesitation. “Oppa! We need to-” I shrieked.

 

“CALM DOWN!” he yelled. He took a deep breath then released it slowly. “There’s. . .” he hesitated.

 

“What?” I asked, an unexplainable fear making me breathless.

 

“There’s something you need to know about Jiyong.”

 

I sighed in relief. “I already know, he told me.”

 

He gave a start, surprise written all over his face. “H-he told you?”

 

“Yes,” I nodded, confused with his reaction.

 

“And yet, you want to help him?” he aghastly asked, disbelief coloring his cute little voice.

 

“Of course!” I defiantly answered. “Why wouldn’t I? He’s been doing the sameto me for months now.”

 

A look of dismayed understanding lit his face but it was replaced by pity and hatred. To whom? I don’t know. “What did he say to you about himself?” he asked a while later.

 

I froze. I’m not really sure if I should tell him. But his reactions caught the better of me. “He told me he’s my bodyguard,” I whispered.

 

He sighed; his face was now full of pity. “He lied.”

 

I stared at him blankly. “What. . . do . . . you . . . mean?”

 

“Everything was a lie, Dara,” he said. “Everything that happened and is happening was Jiyong’s plan.”