A/N: I'm really sorry for the slow updates guys~~ Here is a long chapter!! Please keep on commenting so I know what you guys think and for everyone that has been commenting, I want to sincerely thank you!! ^^

I rated it M because the subject is kind of mature. Do pardon any grammatical mistakes :)

Hope you stay tuned for more updates~~

Thanks again.

Love,

 

Somin

---

Boy # 3

Even as Jongup sat on the thin slab of wood–surrounded by guys washing their feet, talking, undressing and dressing–his eyes were glued to one spot and one spot only. Junhong was childishly washing his face while splashing water here and there in the process. When he caught a glimpse of his own face in the mirror, he felt his ears go red with embarrassment. The smile on his face was so blatantly obvious, that it felt like two giant, imaginary hooks were pulling his lips in opposite directions and refusing to let go. It was fairly recent that Jongup realized how much he missed Junhong's absence in his everyday life, how much he wanted to spend all his days with Junhong and how much he liked him. It was partly surprising how Jongup didn't feel the need or desire to get physically closer to the other boy; no urge to kiss or touch or make any physical contact for that matter–no, Junhong seemed too precious for any sort of physical tainting. 

 

As Jongup continued to observe Junhong's tall body, this time making its way to the lockers, he knew what was coming next—undressing. Immediately, he stopped looking–not that he could even if he wanted to, since Junhong was in the next set of lockers–and figuring time was constrained, started to get dressed himself. 

 

It was only when he heard Yongguk's thick voice call Junhong's name that Jongup's ears perked up with interest. He didn't walk over to them for the fear that he would freak Junhong out so while pretending to take his time getting dressed, he listened closely to the voices coming from the next row of lockers. When he heard Yongguk mentioning something about a bruise, Jongup's whole body tensed and he had to really restrain himself from walking over there and demanding to know what they were talking about. Then, as he continued to listen, Jongup caught Junhong speaking rather rudely to Yongguk and demanding to know something which sparked his curiosity even more. He didn't know what to do since asking them now would make it blatantly obvious that he had been eavesdropping and if he were to ask later in the day….well, Jongup didn't know how he would be able to bring the topic up at all. Finally, while the other two continued their somewhat tense conversation, Jongup decided to casually walk past and hoped that somehow, he'd naturally become included in their conversation.

 

"…..it wasn't me, Junhong…" That was Yongguk's voice. 

 

"…..you lie...why were you with her?….playi–…." That was Junhong.

 

"….that's not important right now! I'm try–" That was Yongguk again.

 

"….how can someone known by Taecyeon help me from him? Y–" 

 

It was Junhong again but his voice tone had changed. Hearing him sound so hurt and defeated made Jongup feel really strange and he had to constantly squeeze his hands in and out to release the tense tugging in his stomach.  

 

"Junhong, it's…I know…it has to be–" 

 

That was Yongguk sounding concerned and without realizing it, Jongup was slightly angry. He was angry that it was Yongguk calming Junhong down, that it was Yongguk talking and that it was Yongguk, not him, who knew so much about Junhong.

 

"You're all the same…just…don't pretend to care at all! That's better–" 

 

Junhong's voice was weary and it shook like an old pipe deep within a building's confines. Jongup couldn't take it anymore. He loudly bumped his body into the nearest locker and managed to successfully catch the attention of the two boys. Seizing the opportunity, he nonchalantly wandered to their side but when he noticed Junhong's teary eyes, his act quickly wore away and the earlier concern returned. 

 

"Junhong ah….wha–what's wrong??" 

 

Jongup tried to pretend that he wasn't extremely disturbed and concerned by whatever he had sort of heard and hurried over to his younger friend's side. But it was when Junhong roughly pulled his hands from Jongup's grip and started to walk away, that he clearly saw the bruises Yongguk was talking about. Jongup was so shaken up from the sight and all its implications that instinctively, he found himself making excuses for not being able to see it earlier. He blamed it on Junhong's pants that were held firm by his belt or his shirts and hoodies that covered him so perfectly but still...still, Jongup couldn't shake off the tiny part of him that already knew something was terribly wrong with the brightly smiling boy but didn't have the courage to do anything. 

 

As all these realizations rushed over him, Jongup felt himself weaken and he sat down on the firm wood bench. He was fully aware that Yongguk still watching him but he felt so weak, so ashamed, that he hoped Yongguk would just take pity and leave him alone. When Jongup saw Yongguk take a seat from the corner of his eyes, his heart quickened its beats from anxiety.

 

"How much did you hear?"

 

Yongguk's knowing gaze made Jongup feel even worse and he had to really force himself to speak. He knew Yongguk was only trying to help Junhong but seeing the low-voiced boy so concerned made Jongup dislike him even more.

 

"N…not much…w-w-who did that to Junhongie?…is it that Taecyeon? Who is he?"

 

"I…don't know…I tried to find out but…"

 

"Don't lie…you know this guy, Junhong sai–"

 

"Listen. This Taecyeon guy seems to have hurt Junhong and trust me, from the looks of it, it doesn't seem like this is the first or last time. As for the knowing me part, it's not true….just a misunderstanding…he's probably taken me for my twin brother or something….but, Jongup?"

 

It couldn't be true! No one could hurt Junhong! He would tell me if he was hurt. He wouldn't keep on smil–"Hmm?"

 

"Junhong really needs your help and if you really cared for him, then you'd listen to me…you need to pretend that you don't know anything or you will just make him feel worse and…if he completely stops trusting everyone, then…then he's as good as gone because no one will be able to help him…not even you…so…just remain your normal attitude around him and don't freak him out. I'll try to help him as much as I can…ok? Can you promise that?"

 

"Ye-yea, I got it…but..since when did you become such an expert?"

 

Jongup couldn't deny–as much as he tried–that Yongguk seemed genuinely worried and determined to help Junhong and he didn't know if that was good or bad. He knew Yongguk liked Himchan and was dating Youngjae so he didn't think of Junhong that way but still, Jongup felt this underlying sense that his Junhong was being taken from him. He shook his thoughts away and concentrated on the fact that Junhong's wellbeing took priority over his own insecurities. He watched as Yongguk sighed, grabbed his bag around his arms and started to get up.

 

"Well…time may heal but it certainly doesn't erase your memories….you know, you're a lucky kid…you should thank them every now and then... your family….give them a hug or something....ah...alright, I've said too much. I'm leaving. You should hurry up too or the bus will leave without you."

 

 

---

 

---

 

Boy # 2

 

Taecyeon. Taecyeon…Daehyun knew that name. He had seen it before. Yes, it was listed on the buzzer of the apartment where he had dropped Junhong off before since Junhong had said he was moving there for now. But there's no way he would purposely move with this guy if he was hurting him, right? The bruises. Junhong's smile that hid everything from everyone. The oblivious friends and family. It felt too familiar. All of it reminded him too much of himself. 

 

Daehyun felt so dizzy that he had to stop tying his laces and sit down on his own wooden bench. He wondered if he felt this way because he hadn't taken the pills yet. He wondered if the Doctor was really right and the reason why he had felt so weak for the past couple of weeks, why he fainted at the cafe and on the road, was really because his kidneys were acting up again. It didn't seem possible that even after being in intensive care for three and a half weeks and receiving the appropriate medicine for a year, his insides still weren't healed. How much damage could his father's feet have done exactly? Daehyun, after gulping down a whole bottle of water, hurriedly walked to the entrance of their school bus.

 

All the way back to Seoul, he found that he kept sneaking glances at Junhong and Jongup. He knew that even though he had concocted the whole "boyfriend" scenario with Junhong, he wasn't really all that close with the boy. In fact, now that he thought about it, it seemed like Junhong, being the newly transferred student and all, didn't have any real close friends. Except Junhong had asked for his help over everyone else in finding the apartment and since it was Daehyun who practically escorted the kid to his current predicament, he felt like it was his responsibility to help him. It took Daehyun the entire bus ride to gather up enough courage to even make up his mind about this and by the time, he was ready to speak to him, Junhong had already left the school grounds. He was about to give up and head to his empty home again when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

Yongguk was facing him with his hand out and when Daehyun stared back blankly, threw his hands in the air. "Oh c'mon, you're not still mad at me, are you? I promise I come in peace~"

 

Daehyun continued to look at the blond with a puzzled look. He didn't know what Yongguk wanted and honestly, Daehyun didn't really want to talk to him. After keeping his hand extended for a minute more, Yongguk finally pulled back and shrugged. 

 

"Whatever....wanna eat ramyun?"

 

Daehyun scoffed. "What? Are you hitting on me, now?"

 

Yongguk seemed pleased and slightly chuckled. "So you do know how to joke...yea, well, sorry to say but I'm taken….I wanted to talk about your boyfriend, Junhong–"

 

"Say what you have to here. I don't have time!"

 

"I'm hungry though! Just have ramyun and–"

 

Daehyun didn't bother to hear the rest of Yongguk's sentence and started to walk away. He could hear Yongguk calling after him, "Oh, c'mon! Daehyun, you really hate me that much?"

 

He didn't. Daehyun was scared. Scared of what he might have to hear from Yongguk, scared of what Yongguk might ask of him and scared that he might not be able to fulfill them. However, just as he was about to fasten his pace, Daehyun remembered himself two years ago and realized that he was doing the same thing as Youngjae had: running away. He hated the knowing look on Yongguk's face but Daehyun kept walking towards him anyways.

 

"ONLY because I'm hungry too and the bakery next door has cheesecake!"

 

"Yea Yea~" Yongguk playfully rolled his eyes and to Daehyun's dismay, his ed chuckle accompanied them all the way to the restaurant.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Daehyun sat with his extra thick slices of cheesecake and Yongguk with his bowl of steaming ramyun. As if both of them were scared of opening the subject, it took an additional ten minutes until finally, Yongguk spoke up first. 

 

"So…are you really dating him? Junhong...I thought it was all for show but seeing as you care so much for him, I gue–"

 

"Oooh, you want to order some tea while we gossip about our love lives! How about getting some cupcakes too?!" 

 

Daehyun waved his hands around and blinked multiple times to emphasize his sarcasm and watched  Yongguk's earlier smile immediately vanish.

 

"Whatever. I know you're not really dating…..besides, what were you going to tell Junhong earlier? Did you know about his situation?"

 

"Well, for your information, the relationship between Junhong and me is as real as you and Youngjae," Daehyun threw a knowing smirk at Yongguk, "Besides...I-I don't know what I was going to say to him…I just felt like I had to do something–"

 

Yongguk slurped his ramyun and nodded. "Doeu oiudf know Taedgioun?" 

 

"Eww…don't talk with your mouth full!"

 

"I said, do you know this Taecyeon?"

 

Daehyun took a large piece of his cake to muffle his voice, "niowet exacxftly"

 

"Now who's talking with their mouth full?" 

 

"N-not exactly….I dropped Junhong off at this address and after Junhong went in the building, I checked the name on the apartment and it said Ok Taecyeon…I didn't know though…"

 

When Daehyun pulled out the crumbled piece of paper, both of them agreed to walk to the place later and quietly ate their respective dishes. Daehyun was almost done with his third and last slice when he saw Yongguk looking at him strangely. He raised his eyebrow, "What?"

 

"I can tell, you know…who was it?…the person tha–"

 

Daehyun knew what Yongguk was asking about and even though he hadn't talked about it to anyone for so long, he felt a strange desire to tell Yongguk. "My dad"

 

"Why?"

 

"I don't know….do they have a reason? Ha…I don't even remember but apparently, the story goes that I fainted from the internal bleeding caused by my father's beating and had to be taken to the emergency room…my broken ribs had pierced through my kidney so I stayed in hospital for a couple of weeks…they fixed me up and here I am!"

 

Daehyun faked an overly happy smile and took a big spoonful of his cake. Yongguk drank a big gulp of the soup before speaking.

 

"No wonder you were assigned to the easy job today on the beach...so now, you feel strangely responsible to help Junhong because no one helped you..."

 

"Ha, sounds to me like you're speaking for yourself?"

 

"Will it be really funny if I say my dad ually assaulted me?" Now it looked like Yongguk was trying to use the ramyun soup to push down his tears as he bitterly smiled. Daehyun believed him. He concluded that even though Yongguk might not look like the typical victim, something about him clearly made it evident that he wasn't lying.

 

"....W-was it?"

 

"I was eight when he first touched me….he said it was okay because I was his son and when I told my mother….well, she said it was okay because my father was stressed and my brother….he….he said I deserved it for being a retard and not being able to talk like all the other kids…."

 

"...While I was getting beaten, from the slightly open door, I saw Youngjae staring back at me….just staring while I called for him…just watching and then, he ran away…such a good friend right?" 

 

"Everyone in my family….they're really good at pretending nothing happens, so much so that I also started to think perhaps, I thought it all up and it was just a dream–"

 

Daehyun stretched his arms and nodded,"We sure are messed up, huh? I guess it's true what they say about birds of the same herd flocking together…"

 

"It's birds of the same flock, you babo...Let's go."

 

Yongguk was the first to get up while Daehyun followed with a frown on his face. However, even as he made a face, it was strange how he didn't exactly feel offended by Yongguk's words nor did he feel awkward with the blond anymore. It was weird how both of them could easily share such drastic and personal secrets about themselves without being affected at all. Daehyun wondered if just like him, Yongguk was just pretending to be okay and strong. He wondered if Yongguk also had nightmares every night. He wondered if Yongguk's dad had ever said sorry or promised not to do it again. He wondered if he, Yongguk, and now, Junhong, would be able to come to terms with their pasts. 

 

"Yah, hurry up or Himchan will eat my brains for coming home late!!"

 

Daehyun saw that Yongguk was way ahead of him and he smiled as he jogged to catch up. It seemed nice that Yongguk had someone like Himchan to care so much about him. For the first time, he wasn't jealous or envious but rather glad that Yongguk had Himchan to welcome him home. Daehyun thought about how nice it must be to always have company and not be so lonely all the time. When he neared Yongguk, Daehyun casually bumped his shoulder against him and declared, "Well, you're going to buy the subway tickets since you made me run!"

 

When Yongguk looked at him questioningly, Daehyun huffed and raised his shoulders, "What?"

 

"Fine, but you're going to have to be nicer to me! And start calling me hyung!! I'm like way older than you!" 

 

Daehyun made a face and lightly ran ahead, "Meh...we'll see about that~"

 

Hyung….hyung...Yongguk hyung..

 

He had never had a hyung before. The word felt incredibly foreign but still, he couldn't stop repeating it to himself. Just like a familiar name, it seemed to roll off his tongue and Daehyun couldn't bring himself to say that he hated it.