Chapter 34

Some testified that they know that someone they love is coming when their heartbeat goes wild. The heart is where the love is.

Heartbeat says we are alive.

Being alive means we can love.

Therefore, a heartbeat means/says love.

Hyun Joong stopped from writing to hold his heart, stop it from sending him false hopes. “Please…I’m tired of chasing. I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of all of this.” His heart says, give it a try, but his brain says, enough.

Whom should he follow?

The logical brain who will lead him to peace or the emotional heart who will lead him to his happiness? If he will choose, to be in peace, he won’t be happy. He’ll just live in peace and what ifs. But, if he will choose his happiness, wait, the question is, will his happiness choose him?

Just like in dramas, the strong downpour of rain gives a feeling of sadness and fear. “The sky is crying for me,” he said as he closed the windows. He plumped down on the couch and opened the wide set of television to drive himself away from the sad thoughts.

“The government advices that everyone should just stay home or stay wherever you are right now. The rain we are all experiencing is strong. I repeat, stay where you are right now and be safe,” the anchorman blabs.

His heartbeat went wilder when his phone vibrated on the side table. He will lie if he says that at that moment he wishes that it was her sending him a message to be safe because she will be there waiting for him.

Son, be safe.  

“Mom,” he smiled.

I am. You too.

He turned his phone off to stop him from wishing, that she will send him a message.

“Are you sure of this?” Mark asked as he watches his friend stare at the papers in front of them.

“Hyun Joong, think of it. Think of it again and again. If it’s still not enough then think about it again and again.” Jack said. “HYUN JOONG! IF you sign this paper, there would be no more chance.”

“Jack is right. Signing this means giving up. Answer me, do you love her? Because if you do, you won’t even think of divorcing her!”

“I’m just tired of reaching out. I love her. If love will be the base of my decision, I won’t even think of signing this damn paper. But, I’m so tired of being selfless,” Hyun Joong closed his eyes and sighed before he continued, “Even Batman takes a break, to think that he is a superhero. Don’t you guys get it? Even superhero gets tired!” Hyun Joong shouted. Tears run down when he continued, “What more of me? A mere human being, of course I’ll be tired. I have a heart that has been shattered since the day I fell in love with her.”

“So do you regret falling in love with So Min?”

Hyun Joong didn’t answer, he just signed the divorce paper.

It still haunts him; the moment he set her free. It has been like this since the day he signed the paper. Every time he closes his eyes, his mind asks him what must’ve happened if he didn’t do it. Will he still be with So Min and be selfless?

There would be times that he would regret but he always smiles before he sleeps, a sign that he made the right choice. Why? Because another day has passed without her making an effort to bring him back to his life. A single message will do. Deep in his heart, he knows that the smallest effort she’ll do will eventually make him run back to her.

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So Min can just stare at the divorce paper Hyun Joong sent to her. She has been quiet since she got out of the hospital because there wasn’t a single trace of Hyun Joong.

Absence makes the heart go fonder.

If it’s true, then it’s time for her to experience hurt, regret, and loneliness.

“I am selfish,” So Min cried.

“Yes, you are! You destroyed your marriage because of ing first love! How can you do that?! I thought of you as someone who is sweet won’t be able to hurt anyone. So, after all, the saying is right. Not because someone looks like an angel, he/she won’t be able to commit evil.”

“Helena, please! Get the hell out of here!” Tricia shouted at Helena. Yes, Helena is back.

Helena smirked, “I have no intentions of being a b*tch because So Min has been now. It just happened that I saw everything at the lobby. So Min, you got a good show back there.”

So Min remained immersed in tears.

“As I know back there, you have been a good girl, a very nice angel. That’s why when Hyun Joong chose you; I kept cool because I believed that you are better than me. FYI, Hyun Joong and Woo Bin already had the same situation before I even came in their life.” Helena met So Min’s eyes before she continues, “Hyun Joong was beaten by Woo Bin twice. I wonder what’s with Woo Bin that he’s always chosen over Hyun Joong.”

“What do you mean?”

“You just made Hyun Joong believe that he isn’t good enough for anyone. You just pushed him away from you.” With that, Helena took his way out of the hospital room leaving So Min drenched in tears and guilt.

The divorce paper is the proof of all the things Helena said.

“Aigoo…this rain,” grandpa growled.

“Grandpa, they already called. We’ll have our flight as soon as the rain stops,” So Min informed her grandfather.

“Aigoo. So Min dear, please hand me my phone. I need to give our associates in California a call.”

So Min walked to the window to see how the rain washes the whole city. She traced a rain drop in the window using her index finger. Unknown to her, teardrops soon followed.

‘Hyun Joong, where are you?’

That is one of the questions she avoids asking because she knows that they will bring her back to him. And that’s what she’s afraid of. Be back to him. Because she knows, she’s selfish and she isn’t good enough for him.

He deserves someone better.

Someone who will bring back his confidence.

“I hope you’re safe,” she whispered.

She was afraid to hurt someone, to lose everything she has, that’s whys he chose to run away. But, still she loses it and hurt them.

Cruel fate.

There will be a point in your life where you just have to choose without thinking much, just live with your choice.

Be spontaneous. Be selfish. Be happy.

There is one thing that we should learn; it’s that we won’t be able to live like an angel. The moment you fall in love is the same moment you will open yourself to evil.

Love makes the world go crazy.

“So Min, get a rest. They need to see us as soon as we step in California. I guess they missed me that much.” Grandpa tried to pull a joke. So Min replied with a faint smile. “My So Min, you don’t say a thing. I know. Drop all the principles and ignore everything, just follow your heart, ‘cause it’s the only thing that could free you from all the pain.”

So Min smiled to her grandfather and showed the divorce paper to her grandfather, “I just got this which means it's over.”

The prominent Mr. Jung smiled, a mocking one, “But, you haven’t signed it which means you are still Mrs. Kim Hyun Joong, the one and only.”

So Min’s eyes focused on the one and only signature over that paper, Kim Hyun Joong’s signature. “His signature says it all, it’s over.”

“You just fell in love twice, I fell in love a million times,” Mr. Jung paused to look at his granddaughter, “to the 5 different women in my life. From them, I realized that a decision for a relationship takes 2 parties. Your marriage contract has a signature of the two of you, meaning you both decided to marry. Look at the divorce paper, it requires two signatures. A couple is composed of two people, two different people bounded by love, but still they are different individuals who can work alone and decide alone. But, at the end of the day, those 2 different individual needs to agree on one thing. Now So Min, do you agree with him? Will you sign that paper? Or…” Grandpa didn’t have to continue. He already saw the answer in his granddaughter’s eyes. 

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Okay, I just wanna share my experience. I reread almost all of my stories for the past few days, 'cause you know I'm not busy (note the sarcasm) and  I was laughing my off. I was like, "WATDAPAK!" HAHAHA. Epic. I was so crazy to write such stuffs. Hahaha! Okay, enough of the rambles.

You can laugh at my mistakes, you're free to do it. As long as you can prove to me that you haven't done the same thing. 

Last one or two chapters :)

Violent reactions? Drop it now.  I know I didn't update for a long time. Bare with me. Fourth year college student here.