Youngjae’s POV

I wandered on the hallways of the company. My mind filled with different thoughts of what had happened throughout of the day.  As I kept walking I could hear a muffled melody come out of one of the rooms. In my curiosity I walk further to the room where the lights came from but didn’t see anyone there.

I pay more attention to the lyrics of the song that kept playing, which was more like a rock song. I managed to catch a part…

“Back home I always thought I wanted so much more, now I'm not too sure
Cause sometimes I miss knowing someone's there for me and feeling free
Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight”

I do not know a lot of English, but one thing I’m sure I do know what “Back Home” meant.

I open the door carefully, and notice there was someone lying on the floor. It was the new girl, the foreigner that was helping out with the choreography for the group. I hadn’t seen her in a while though. She’s always so lively and active; I’m actually surprised she’s in this state. I get closer to her and she has her eyes closed, but I see that around her eyes it was wet. She must’ve been crying…

I sit next to her lying body not wanting to wake her up, or at least make her open her eyes. The music is loud so I doubt she’s sleeping. When the song finally finishes, she shakes her head, like when you’re feeling drowsy and you want to feel awake. I stay in the same position waiting for her to get up. She looks to her left finally noticing my presence.

“Hey… How long have you been here?” –She asks as she dries her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Long enough to wonder why are you like this today.” –I say sincerely, I am honestly curious. I have never approached her like this before. But there’s something about her tonight that really intrigues me about her, and I feel like I need to do something about it.

She managed to chuckle and try to shake off my question as if nothing happened, quickly showing her bright personality. This made me realize that she may have been hiding her real feelings many times before.

“Like what? I’m fine Youngjae-ssi.” –She punched me slightly on my arm, and flashed me a wide smile making her eyes look smaller.

“_______. Are you missing your home?” –I ask not believing the act she had just played.

“Why are you saying that? Of course not! They never needed me back home, why should I miss them? I’m independent and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” –She said, but I caught quickly her tone was different now. It sounded a little annoyed, and it slowly faded in the last sentence.

“If you miss them, you shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s your home after all.” –I said placing my hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

She gave me a weak smile. And she turned her face to me.

“You really don’t understand do you?” –She said now changing into this expression I hadn’t seen before, worrying me even more.

She paused, and she gave a really deep sigh as she took my hand off her shoulder and massaged the back of her neck.

“Youngjae, how can you miss that place you swore you were never going back to? I thought I didn’t need any one of the people I left behind. They didn’t need me, so why would I? Whenever I think about home… It only brings me sorrow, that feeling of being unloved, unwanted, and unneeded. So why would I love, want or need any of that?” –Her voice broke on that last word, making more tears fall down. Right now I felt really bad for bringing this up. I really wanted to make it better.

I only managed to embrace her, embrace her tightly as I rubbed tenderly her back where her long hair fell. I placed my chin over her head, trying to reassure that she was welcome to cry onto my chest more if she needed to.

I say softly almost in a whisper: “I’m sure not all of those memories are bad… For some reason you’re remembering them.”

She nodded, I was sure that she now felt safe to trust me. She said still on my chest.

“But those good memories only lead to the ones that make me cry. So I can’t even think about them anymore.” –She pulled away from me.

“You can always make new memories, and leave the old ones behind.” –I say confidently.

“What makes you think I can be able to do that?” –She asks unsure.

I take her hand and place her on top of mine as I hold it tightly with my other hand.

“Well, I can’t make you forget them completely… But you can always let me protect you from them whenever they try to come back… You just have to stay with me; I will help you create new ones.”

I paused and looked at my watch, and look back at her.

“10:35 p.m, Thursday, February 21^st of 2013. ______’s first new good memory to treasure, many more to come… Just let me take care of them, I will make sure they happen!”