I laid in my bed in a child like state, hugging my pillow crying. I could hear Top in the bathroom running a bath for me as I laid there bawling my eyes out. I was tired, I was drained, I was mad...so mad and yet sorry...so sorry for yelling at Jiyong the way I did downstairs. I just wanted to go back in time and fix everything. I wanted to take the pain and the suffering away that we were all feeling, but it wasn't going to happen. Top walked out from the bathroom, his shirt ed and flowing in the breeze as he walked. I smiled through my tears, my strength, my love, he was here and he was all I could possibly need at that time.

"Jagi.." Top sighed as he walked over and sat beside me in the bed, my hair. "Oh Jagi, Jagi, please stop crying now." He positioned himself in the bed and helped to lay my head in his lap. I whimpered as I laid there, the tears were dry now, but the pain was still there. "Jagi, you need rest, I simply can't stand to see you so tired and so sad. It breaks your oppa's heart ya know?" I half smiled laying there, "I know, but what else would I do right now? I'm just so...so...tired...and...I am worried about Karin....and I am so mad at Jiyong and yet I feel so sorry...and I am embarrassed you saw me in such an anger filled moment. Top, I don't know what else to do right now other than be sad and cry."

Top continued to soothe me, gently and sweetly playing with my hair with one hand and holding one of my hands with the other. "Babe, I know, I know you feel all that and I am telling you, you and I, we are not going to leave this room for hours. It's you and me now babe, I am going to get you through all of this." I smiled as he comforted me, he really knew exactly what to say. "Its ok to feel all that, but now, now you must lean on me. And hey, don't be embarrassed about your anger, it was surprising and yet really quite y." I laughed out a little as Top attempted to lighten the mood, then went back to being serious. "Karin will be fine, she's with the boys now, trust them to take care of her. Now, now its about getting you better." I wanted to believe she'd be ok, but it was too hard. "Top...but, Karin, she's so weak...and I am scared she will hurt herself again I can't imagine losing her. I don't want her to die." Top sighed deeply, "Baby, Karin is a like a child. She won't follow through because people like her, that are even afraid of the rain, they are far more afraid of death. You should know that if she truly wanted to die, she would have made it happen. Babe, she simply wanted to feel the pain, like you did all those years ago." He sighed and continued on, "This isn't the first time she's acted like this, ya know?"

I sat up and looked at Top, "What? What happened?" I said leaning my head against his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "Well," he giggled a bit as he started, "You know Karin, she's all about Seungri, no other woman is allowed to touch him, let alone look at him. He was shooting Strong Baby and well, Karin wasn't happy about the girl in the video. Their relationship went into a downward spiral, constantly fighting. Karin wanted to leave and she was in so much pain so she tried cutting herself. Thankfully Seungri came in before she could...he said he would never leave her side and she was relieved. She made him promise to always love her and he made her promise never to hurt herself again." I continued to cuddle into Top's chest, listening to his heart beat...his strong, perfect, steady heartbeat. "You know Top, I never realized how difficult Karin was to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I love her and she's the best sister I could ask for, but it worries me how she gets at times."

Top lifted my head and took my face in his hands, looking me square in the eyes. "You stop that jagi, there is no need to worry. She's in Jiyong's care now and trust me, that man can make sure she is ok." He let go of my face and grabbed my hands. "His personality is such that he will control her and she needs that right now. He won't let anything happen to her. Karin is like a kitten with him, more so than with me...there is no way anything will happen to her. Now...you...babe" He said, tapping the end of my nose. "You must stop this worrying. ok?"

I smiled at him as Jiyong crossed my mind...the guilt I felt for yelling at him was great, but the greater guilt was from the phone call. That damn phone call I should have never made, just thinking about it made me cry, again. Top looked at me and wiped the tears away, pulling me into a warm and comforting embrace. "What is it my love?" He said as he held me tight. I pulled away and looked at him, my eyes welling with tears as I took a deep breath and let it all out. "T....t....top...I, I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you and I am I sorry. You, you don't deserve it and I am so sorry." Top looked at me, grabbing my hands, "What do you mean, lied to me? When did you lie?" I looked at him..."Back in the airport, when I went into the bathroom, it was to call Ji, not to, well you know. I don't know what made me call him, but I just needed his voice and I needed to talk to him. And I couldn't tell you, because I figured you'd be mad that I wanted to talk to him...especially..."

"Wait, wait, wait...Why on earth would I be mad that you needed your friend, baby? I know you two are close, it never upsets me that you want to talk to him. You need him and I understand that, so why wouldn't you just tell me? And especially what? Continue..." He held my hands tighter.

"You'd be mad because...I..I...I can't help that he loves me and that he wants to be with me....especially, you'd be mad especially because that jealousy he feels is more deep than you think. He confessed his love to me, he told me he wants to be with me. So of course you'd be mad. Right?" I said looking him the eyes. His face went from serious to smiling, to laughing...laughing...why the hell was he laughing. Top took one of his hands and ran it through his hair, laughing. "Deni, what on EARTH are you talking about? Jiyong loves you?" He began to laugh harder, causing me to go speechless. "Jiyong....loves....you? Have you lost your mind jagi?" I looked at him dumbfounded not entirely sure how to react. I looked at him, pulling on the hand I was still holding.

"I am serious Seunghyun." I said, I knew he knew when I used his real name I was serious. "I am serious here..he told me this...I swear." Top just looked at me, trying not to smile and laugh, it was clear he didn't believe me and I honestly didn't feel I could convince him really. "Top, why would I make this up? Hmmm? You can go ask him" I said pointing at the door. "He told me this, ok and I, I, I don't like him like that, ya know, I only love you. I figured knowing this and knowing I didn't tell you I was calling him, that you'd be mad at me." Top realized I was serious finally and looked at me, smiling a sweet smile. "Oh baby." He said as he leaned over and kissed me. "If you say he likes you, he likes you. And of course I know you love me only, I would never ever doubt that, ever." He lifted up my hand with my engagement ring on it, putting it up against his chest. "You feel that?" I looked at him and nodded, "That heart in there, it beats for you only and it belongs to you only....and if you lie to me again it will break."

"I'm so sorry...I am really so sorry." I said putting my head down in shame, "Please, please don't hate me." I began to whimper again. Top scooted closer to me and lifted my head with his hands. I met eyes with him as he smiled and then kissed my forehead. "I could never ever ever hate you beautiful one." He kissed his way down, from my forehead, to my nose, each cheek and finally my lips. "I love you far to much to ever hate you."

"But, I lied to you...you should be mad." I said.

"It takes more than this silly little lie to get me mad babe. I know you are human and you make mistakes and I won't get mad over this. Am I a little disappointed, yes, but I am not mad. I completely forgive you, just promise me in the future...in the future you will tell me EVERYTHING. Ok? No matter what is, talk to me, ok?" I nodded as he again kissed me, this time longer and more passionately. I pulled away after a few moments, "I really only love you you know?"

Top smiled and pulled me into a huge hug. "Never doubted it for a second baby." He kissed the top of my head and laid me down with him in the bed where we cuddled. Top looked over at me and smiled, "So he loves ya huh?"

"Apparently." I said looking at him as we cuddled.

"Well tough luck, you're mine!" He pulled me tighter and squeezed me. "He snoozes he loses."

"You aren't mad at him?"

"Nah, no reason to be. I know Jiyong enough to know he's a stand up guy who would never do anything to come between two people so in love. Plus I'm the hyung...he's too scared of me."

I laughed. "Well whatever you say."

Top smiled, "I say...I say...I love you my sweet baby." Top kissed me again, holding me tightly.

"I love you too, so very much, Seunghyun. I couldn't have gotten through all this without you, you really are my pillar of strength."

Top smiled and kissed me smiling. "Your bath..."

"Forget it right now, I'm not leaving your arms..." I said as I snuggled in closely to him, closing my eyes, enjoying the embrace of the love of my life.