Empty was the best word to explain the current state of my life. My sister was empty and broken over a scandal, my mankae was empty and broken over Karin, my strong pillar of fiance had to be wearing thin worrying about all three of us and then there was me, I was broken and empty from trying to fix it all. Top, our mankae and I, we all wanted to fix this, to fix Karin, to fix our life, but it wouldn't happen quickly. I cried as I pondered this all, suddenly being knocked out of that state by a knock on the door. Karin was asleep and so to not disturb her I placed a pillow under her head as I went to the door, tears still fresh in my eyes and on my face I opened the door to see Top and Seungri standing there. I looked at them, still crying, completely frail. "He wanted to be here with her." Top said looking at Seungri. I moved out of the way as the two of them walked in the room. I closed the door behind me, locking it and heading into the room too.

Seungri's cheeks were just a tear stained as mine and Karin's. I couldn't stand to see him like that, it wasn't right. My mankae was not supposed to be sad, he was supposed to annoy me and drive me insane. I walked over to him and took his face in my hands, wiping the tears away from his eyes. It didn't matter how completely tired and broken I was, I loved my friends more than life and I, being the deeply caring person I was, I was going to be there. I tried to smile as I held his face and wiped the tears away. "Mankae, oh my sweet sweet mankae..." I said finally just hugging him tight. He wrapped his arms around me as we hugged each other. Both of us crying, both of us exhausted, both needing the hug. "Deni." Seungri began talking and sobbing, "Thank....thank...thank you for being here for her." I just hugged him tighter, finally managing to get out, "Of course mankae..." We finally stopped hugging and Seungri stood there, staring at Karin as she slept.

"Go, be with her. She needs you even if she won't admit it." I said. "But don't you dare wake her up, ok? It took me so long to get her to finally rest." Seungri nodded his head as he slowly entered the room, sitting on the floor just staring at her. He just wanted to make sure she was still breathing, he'd watch her sleep all night if he had to. Even in the midst of all of this he loved her more than anything, more than his career, more than his band brothers. She was his life now. He felt guilty even though he knew he'd done nothing wrong. Karin was frail, a child a lot of the time, so much so that she could even be afraid of the rain. He had always done everything he could to protect and look after her, especially after her family stopped talking to her. He knew he was the reason and had truly hoped to mend that relationship for her, over time. He wanted nothing more to hug her and hold her in his arms.

And whether she'd admit it or not, Karin wanted it to. Those two still wanted each other more than anything, but they're relationship was shattered into a million pieces. As Seungri sat there trying not to jump in bed to hold his sleeping beauty his head was filled with lyrics from a band Karin liked, 4Men. There were two of their songs that Karin liked best, "I Can't" and "Couldn't Do It." Both ran through Seungri's mind as the words filled his heart, "I couldn't do it without you, I couldn't live without you. In me, inside of me you remained just the same...Without you I can't go on, without you, there's no point. In me, inside of me, you just grow bigger." Seungri began to cry as more and more of the words flooded is mind. "Without you I can't smile, I can't move without you, anything, I can't do anything. I can't bear dying because you may come back. You may find me someday, I can't do anything today or tomorrow too, I only want you."

Meanwhile Top and I were in the other room, I was franticly going through stuff to hide anything that could cause Karin harm. I couldn't risk it, I just couldn't allow her to harm herself. I needed her and Seungri needed her. I was crying as I worked hard to remove anything she could harm herself with. Top couldn't take it anymore. He was tired from the long day, he was drained from supporting Seungri and it wasn't helping that his fiance was running around like a crazy person. "Jagi, for gods sake, stop it." He said as he grabbed me holding me in his arms. "Jagi, you need to stop this, you need to rest now, Karin needs you to be strong for her." I tightly held on to him crying. "I can't sleep, I can't Top. My friend is practically dead, mankae is shattered and the world hates her. Top you don't know what they said about her. It's all over twitter, it's all over facebook. They blame her, HER, Top, her." I continued on until Top finally stopped me. "Baby, I know, I saw. We've already been in contact with YG. He is sending more bodyguards here tonight, they are working to figure out how they will approach and discuss the scandal as well as us, we've been found out too." I sighed. I knew we were now exposed but I didn't care, my mind was only on Karin and Seungri and their disaster.

"Baby, you're so broken aren't you?" He said, still holding me in his arms tightly, kissing the top of my head. "You have no idea my love. I am so lost, I am so broken, I'm tired. So so tired." I said to him as I began to go weak. He walked me over to the couch and we sat down, him continuing to hold me. He broke the hold to lift my head up and wipe away my tears that I felt had been falling from my eyes for hours now. He smiled at me as he leaned in and kissed me, pulling away to look me in the eyes, "Baby you are not alone. I am here, ok, I know you feel so lost and so tired. I am here to be your pillar of strength." He kissed me again and then held me. As I sat there I could see into the bedroom, Seungri was on the floor still, just hugging his legs, crying, watching Karin. I couldn't bare to watch so I got up and went in to him.

"Mankae." I whispered as I entered. He looked up at me, trying to smile, but not able to. "Can I join you?" He nodded as I sat down beside him on the floor. I put my arm around him and pulled him over to me, holding him in my arms. "It's going to be ok, mankae. I swear this will all work out and it will be ok." I said this to him, trying to believe it, but really not. Seungri's eyes got heavy as I held him in my arms, trying to comfort that sweet boy. "Ri, you can sleep here, ok. She needs you...you need her, go on now, get up there and sleep, ok?" Seungri nodded and we stood up. I kissed his forehead and began to leave..."Don't wake her, ok? Top and I will be in the other room. I won't leave you, he won't leave you." Seungri climbed carefully into bed with Karin as I made my way out to Top, who was waiting for me on the couch.

"Come now jagi, please sleep." He said motioning me over to him. I sat down beside him, grabbing his hand. "I love you" I said kissing him gently on the lips.I tried to get comfortable putting my head on Top's lap to sleep. He placed a pillow behind his head and got as comfortable as possible as we covered up. He my hair as I began to drift off to sleep. It had been a hell of a night and I knew it would only get worse. Much worse.