Karin was now all bandaged up and the paramedics had cleared her to travel back to Seoul with us. Normally in these situations we wouldn't be so lucky, she'd be in the hospital but we had an entourage that consisted of, of all things, a doctor, so the paramedics were fine to allow Karin to travel. She was still in a somewhat unconscious state, her eyes would flutter open from time to time, but mostly she just laid there, Seungri holding her as if her life depended on it.

Top and I cuddled together in the chairs as we waited for the plane. As I rested on his shoulder my mind raced. I should have been completely content there with my love and I was mostly, but I really wanted to talk to Jiyong. I needed to hear his voice and I needed to hear him tell me it was going to be ok. He was, after all, the leader, the great Kwon Jiyong and my best friend besides Karin. I didn't want to upset Top, but I really really wanted to talk to him. I was very conflicted, fighting myself internally. I took a deep breath and sat up, looking at Top. I was about to lie to him, but I really didn't care for some reason.

"Baby, I'll be right back, I need to use the bathroom." Top smiled, kissing my forehead. I knew he didn't want me out of his sight but he couldn't stop me. "Ok jagi, I'll be right here." I smiled standing up and heading to a bathroom where Karin's blood wouldn't be, further away down the hall. As I walked, I grabbed my phone and turned it on. All I could think about was Ji's voice, I just needed to hear his voice. I should have needed Top in that moment, but no, I needed Jiyong. I didn't understand it, but I went with it, because it was the only thing that was on my mind.

I entered the restroom and sat in one of the chairs they had in the lounge area. I looked at my phone trying to reason away why it was ok to call Jiyong. But there was no reasoning it away, it was really simple. In that moment I needed to talk to him whether I understood it or not. I dialed his number and held it up to my ear. I counted the rings, he always answered after the third one. Ring, One. Ring, TWO. Ring, Thr...

"Yoboseyo, hey baby." He answered, my heart raced and I smiled. He'd been calling me baby a lot and I really didn't hate it, even if he shouldn't call me that.

"Ji!" I yelled out beginning to cry. "Omo I am so so glad to hear your voice, I needed to hear it so badly. Ji, tell me that everything is going to be ok? I just need to know it's going to be ok."

"Sweet girl, did I not tell you earlier that it would be ok? Hmmm? Do you not believe me when I say things? What the hell happened that you need to hear it again?"

"Ji, it doesn't matter what happened. I need you to make me feel better, I need you right now. Do you not get that? I NEED YOU."

Jiyong giggled and then sighed. "You, sweet girl, are too complicated sometimes. Baby, take my word, I swear this to you, everything will be ok." I cried, but was relieved all at the same time. Ji could have said it wouldn't be ok and I still would have been content at that moment. "Um, sweetie, shouldn't you be on a plane?"

I wiped my tears away. "Yah, we should, but things have been delayed here. It's been a rough couple of hours."

"What the hell? What happened?" He said very concerned.

"I...I..Ji, I really don't want to talk about it, ok? I can't bear to talk about it or think about it anymore. I just wanna come home, see you, hug you...I miss you so much."

"Aye, I miss you too. I am so very worried about all of you, but you mostly. I want to see you here and know you are safe and sound in my presence. Baby, why aren't you with Top?"

"To be perfectly honest, Ji, I don't know. I really don't know why, but I just, I just...I had to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice so badly. I feel weird about it because Top should be enough, but right now you are the only thought in my head. That, that scares me."

"...I mean..." Jiyong went silent.

"What?" I said, "Go on say it."

"The GDragon leader in me wants to say, 'Don't you dare cheat on Top and have feelings for someone else.' But the Jiyong in me says, "Damn, I think she has feelings...screw Top."

I laughed. "I never said I had feelings for you Jiyong. I just said I wanted to talk to you, hear your voice, be home with....omo!" It hit me, it all hit me at that moment. Maybe there was something there, but there couldn't be, maybe I was too tired and my brain wasn't working. I was clearly losing it.

"Aye, see...told ya." He laughed as I fell to the floor putting my head in the chair. I couldn't allow this to happen, I wouldn't. I loved him, but not not that way...or at least I thought so. Suddenly I snapped and yelled.

"Kwon Jiyong, I will never love you the way you want me to, but...DAMN! Why are you complicating my life? Huh? I was totally content being friends, spending time talking, laughing, like a brother and sister. Why'd you have to confess your feelings? Huh? WHHHHY!"

"Wait a minute! Wait a damn minute! Don't you DARE yell at me for this. You, baby, you pushed me to tell you, Do you not remember that? Huh?  I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to complicate things. I would have been just fine holding it in, but no you pushed so don't put this all on me. "

"I'm not." I yelled. "I just...I just....I'm confused and I am tired and I want you right now and not Top and that scares the hell out of me. Don't you understand that? I should be out there with him right now, not locked in a bathroom talking to you."

"Then go out to your fiance Denise, go the out to him."

"I....I....I don't want to. I want to talk to you for some stupid reason Jiyong. I want YOU right now. And would you stop calling me baby!!! God you are making this too difficult."

"How the hell am I making it difficult? huh? You called me, you, baby, called me. YOU CALLED ME."

"Yah but you didn't have to pick up the phone..."

"Baby, I'd never not pick up where you are concerned." Like that the yelling stopped. I was mad at myself, not him, and to make it worse, I was exhausted, drained and totally emotional.

"Don't stop calling me that - baby,...I didn't mean it I actually like when you do." I said, I loved it when he did, the way he said it made me love it.

"Ok baaaaaaby." He said almost giggling.

"Aye, Ji, I don't know what to think. I love Top more than anything and I want more than anything to marry him, but since that confession, I don't know, I can't shake this weird feeling about you."

"So now I'm weird?"

I laughed, "No not anymore than usual. I think, I really think that everything has caught up to me, I am exhausted and just ready to sleep in my bed and not be here dealing with all the that has happened."

"Baby, don't you dare leave Top, ok?"

"What, what are you talking about?!"

"As much as I love you and as much as I want you to choose me, don't leave him. Ok? I won't allow you to do that, do you hear me?"

"I really hadn't planned to Ji, I was just really emotional."

"Listen to me right now sweet girl, ok?" I shut my mouth and listened. "That man loves you more than anything in this world, more than his mom and I REFUSE to be the reason you two aren't together. You've changed him like...like...you don't even know. I love you and I always will, but you need him and he needs you. You got that?"

"Yah I got it, Ji." Sighing.

Jiyong took in a deep breath and let it out. "This ends right here! I am telling you right now, baby, that I, I, I want to be just friends, we are simply friends."

"But Ji....you can't..."

"I know I can't just turn off my feelings, but I am not going to allow you to not be with the guy you need to be with. I am always here for you, always, I have said that from the beginning and I mean it. But he, Top, he is your life. You don't love me the way I want you to, I know that, even if you are emotional and confused. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you love him and him only. I knew it day one and I know it even now because if you loved me you wouldn't mention his name over and over. I am telling you as your friend, your brother, your leader...It's Top. It. Is. TOP."

I listened to Jiyong carefully. He was right...it was Top! It had always been Top and it would always be Top. "You're right Jiyong and I am sorry for yelling. I am just tired and ready to be out of this damn airport."

And like perfect timing I heard Top knock on the door. "Baby, you ok? The plane is here, its time to go." I smiled, yelling out. "Yah, I'm fine, be right there." I stood up and listened to Jiyong breathing on the other end of the phone. "I'm sorry Ji, I need to go..."

He stopped me. "Go, go be with him. I'll see you when you come home sweet girl. Go please go!" He was crying, he had just more or less sacrificed his love for me to make sure both his friends were happy.

"Ji, you and me, we are ok, right?"

"Always sweet girl, always."