This scandal was eating us all up, even as we all attempted to sleep. Seungri was desperately trying to sleep, but nothing was really working. He wanted to do as he did every night, hold his baby in his arms and breathe in time with her as they slept. Tonight, though, that wasn't going to happen. He couldn't touch her and risk waking her up. She was finally somewhat peacefully asleep and he did not want to cause her to wake up and be a mess again. He wanted to fix everything for her and knew he couldn't. He did his best to sleep because he was very very tired. Top, who was good at being strong, had, that night, also began to breakdown. Karin was his little sister and he wanted to protect her. It was his job to be the protector for his band, his little sister and his love. But that wore him thin, because he was, just like anyone else, human. The worse for him was to see the love of his life stuck in the middle, taking the weight of the world on her shoulders to protect her sister. That, that broke him to the point of tears.

Then there was me, my life hadn't been the easiest and prior to being with Top, I was simply a single mom working her off to keep things together at home. BigBang had saved my life, literally, when I found them. I tried so hard to sleep there in the lap of my love, but my mind was loud. I missed my son and worried for him, I missed my family back in the states, I wanted to go back in time and erase the scandal. I wanted it all to be perfect. Karin hated that word, perfect. Life shouldn't be perfect she once told me, there has to be problems or life would be boring. Maybe she was right, but I didn't like this, watching my friends suffer as I withered away into nothing trying in vain to take the pain away. It was too much, far too much.

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Karin suddenly jolted awake, her eyes staring straight ahead of her. She woke up as she fell asleep, wanting to end it all. If she was honest, it was only because of Deni that she was still here. Deni was the one thing in her life that she knew she had and this made it hard for her to actually follow through. Deni had truly saved her, even before she needed it. Karin was numb as she woke up, emotionless, a body full of nothing. She felt...she felt, she felt an arm on her. Karin turned her head and saw Seungri laying there sleeping, a tight grip on her body, as if had he let go, she'd be gone. Karin didn't know what to do, she just laid there staring at him. It didn't really matter if he hugged her, it would be last time anyways. Karin turned her head and looked over at the clock, 6 am it read. Karin didn't move as she laid in Seungri's arms, she couldn't admit it, but it was calming.

I woke up with pain in my neck from sleeping on Top all night. Sitting up I rubbed my eyes and gathered my thoughts. I looked around at the room, nearly forgetting why I was there, until I saw Karin, who was awake. I knew she still loved him, I could tell from the calm look on her face. The calm before the storm I thought, as I looked on at Karin. I stood up , placing the blanket on Top who was sleeping peacefully, walking over towards the bed, I called for her. "Karin." I said hoping I'd see my silly Karin. Karin shot up, pushing Seungri's arms off of her, he remained asleep. Karin stood up walking to me and as she did I noticed the look in her eyes. She was still the shell of the person I loved. A cold gaze, emotionless, a walking zombie almost. I watched as Karin pushed past me and walked towards the washroom. She went in and shut the door.

I went to follow her when I heard my phone ring and grabbed it, noticing the caller ID read, Kwon Ji. I answered quietly, walking out to the balcony. "Hello Ji" I said sadly.

"Hey sweetie, how....how is everything." I didn't realize he knew what had happened as I began to blurt it all out.

"Jiyong, it . Everything ! There's a scandal involving Seungri, Karin believes it, Top and I are trying to support them, but our relationship is now leaked. Oh Jiyong" I began to cry as I continued. "I can't do this, I am NOT strong enough for this, there's so much written about them, about us." I began to cry.

"Oh my sweet Deni." Jiyong said in his calming voice. "I hate to see you hurting, I hate to see Karin hurting, Seungri...its just not right. Baby, I know this is hard. I am calling because I am the leader and I wanted you to know the plans."

"What plans?" I sniffled.

"You four of you will return today. YG has arranged a private jet to pick you up, ok? There are already many more bodyguards there for you. You will leave at 2pm and all fly back here. Everyone is going crazy prepping for the storm that is about to hit. This is like a command center."

"Ji, Ji.." I began to cry harder. "I love you! I don't know what I'd do without you guys, not just you and the boys, but YG, the staff. I couldn't go on without you all in my life." I stopped for a moment sobbing. "And Karin, Jiyong, I love her so much and she is so empty, I am scared Ji, I am so scared. Ji, I need you to tell me everything is going to be ok...please."

"Deni, I swear to you, as the leader that everything will work out. Will it be a quick fix, no, no it won't. But I will not allow our family to fall apart. You and Karin are family now and I will do anything and everything to keep this family together. YG will not allow this either. Sweetie, is there more you aren't telling me?"

"Y...y...yes." I wasn't sure how to tell Ji about Karin wanting to end her life. He was so protective of her that I knew he'd freak out. "It's just, well...she wants to die. When her and Seungri got back last night to the hotel, he found her preparing to jump off the balcony. He stopped her and she wanted to take pills, but he stopped her again. I haven't allowed her out of my sight, well not until now, right now she's in the bathroom."

"Deni" Jiyong yelled in the phone. He sounded worried. "You go to that bathroom and break that door down. Don't let her leave your sight for one second. Go...go check on her now." He went on. I ran to the door and tried to open it was locked. I knocked on the door, "Karin, Karin its me...please Kar, let me in." Karin opened the door.

"Let me talk to her Deni." Jiyong said over the phone. I held the phone out..."Karin, Jiyong wants to talk to you." Karin pushed the phone away. "I am not going to talk to him, or anyone...leave me alone." She yelled out. These were the first words I had heard her utter in hours. I looked at her. "Listen, sweetie, I know you are upset, but you need to talk to him. He is the leader of this family and it's not ok to be mean to him. Now, take the phone." Karin didn't argue, she grabbed the phone putting it up to her ear.

"H...h...hello." She whispered out.

Jiyong was loud enough I could hear every word. "Karin, don't you dare hurt yourself, do you understand me? You have an entire family, an entire company behind you, loving and supporting you. You WILL NOT hurt my little sister, do you understand?" Karin just stood there, the phone up to her ear. "I need you to come back to YGE, ok. You have to come back here and we are going to fix all of this, ok? You will not walk through this alone...none of you will." Karin listened as Jiyong finished up. She looked at me and handed me the phone.

I held the phone back up to my ear as Jiyong went on. "I need you to be strong right now Deni, ok? She needs you more than ever. I know you are worried for her and Seungri, I know you are worried about the leaking of your relationship, but I need I really need for you to be strong baby girl, ok? Do not, do not let her out of your sight, don't allow her to read anything posted online. Got that?"

"I, I'm trying Ji" I said as Karin walked out of the room. I followed her out, noticing that Top was now awake. I went back into the washroom to finish the conversation, knowing Top would watch her. "I will do everything I can to protect her Ji."

"I know baby girl, I know. Listen I gotta go, ok. I am trusting you to get you guys back here safely. I will see you soon, ok? Sweet girl, I love you, I love my family, it will all be ok. It will be ok!"