I really love Bom so much. I admit when she rejected me it hurted me so much. I was depressed for months. I'm not the type to drink nor was I legal to drink but, I did. I would go to my parents liquor room and drink every bottle I see every night. There was no time I didn't get wasted. It hurted so much, yes. Instead of going to school, I stayed in my room. I would only go out to get liquor and as much as I want to starve myself to death, Jiyong would always come around to get me to eat. He was one of the people besides my parents and the maids that got to witness how much I broke down. I would cut myself often and cry myself most of the time. Ji got mad at Bom a lot. It was safe to say that almost all the love he had for her turned to hate. I did say almost, right? I knew Ji was just as confused as I was. I know that he himself could not believe Bom would do that. I mean who would? that is Bom for Christ's sake. She's one of the sweetest girls in the world. That's Bom. Our Bom.

I wonder what happend. I wonder why she did that. Am I really that hateable? Am I not worth loving? Why can't she love me back. Why did she have to reject me like that... Yes, my mind was filled with questions and my heart was filled with pain. I was hurt, clearly. But, I could never bring myself to hate Bom no matter what. Even if she turned into an evil witch with two heads, I'd still love her. That's why I need to know the reason. I want to know the reason. But, I can't... I can't even face Bom. And I'm far too weak to even move out of this cage I trapped myself in.

4 months. That's how long I stayed like that. After 4 months of being like that, I was practically living on medicines and all the other hospital materials I needed. I'm weak, literally and dying would be the perfect word. I needed to move on, but I couldn't. And there I was, bed ridden and nearing a coma. I wish I did have a coma but, if I did. I wouldn't know the truth that I know now. 

My parents thought that me staying in Korea wouldn't be healthy for me. I needed better medical work and better doctors. They decided that we should move to America and we did. We moved to Los Angeles. The adjustment wasn't easy for me and so was moving on. I went into operations due to a lot of digestive organ malfunction. Must've been the alcohol and the not eating properly. After 2 years, that's how long it got me back on track. After 2 years, I decided to live my life again. After 2 years that's when I decided to start new.

I started new. Met new friends and went out more often. But, have I moved on? No, I haven't. I still pretty much love Bom but I know I have to move on sooner or later. I'm using going out a lot as one of my distractions so I wouldn't think of her. One of the people I met while on my stay here was Dara. Yes, dara. The very same Dara Ji was dating back then. She's a sweet girl or so I thought. Everything was going well between me and Dara. We actually got together. And I think because of her I moved on from Bom. I liked Dara but she could never compare to Bom. 

I couldn't tell Dara the real reason why I moved to LA. But, I knew she had the rights to know. She was my girlfriend after all. After 4 months of dating her, I finally told her. I told her everything about what happened to me. My breakdown and how my life went crashing down. I expected her to cry out of pity or something like that but instead I spotted guilt in her eyes. She couldn't look at me straight she seems as though she was hiding something from me. It got me very much curious. But seeing how she wasnt ready to tell me that time, I didn't push in the subject.

Ever since I told her what I've been through she became sweeter, more sensitive towards me and more considerate. As though she was trying to repay for something. I appreciated it a lot and I fancy her for that. But, I really want to know why she was doing that and oh boy, I got the answers to my question one night. It was at a party, Dara's bestfriend yoona got drunk. And yeah, this girl surely likes me, I know that. From the moment I met her, she couldn't get her hands off of me. She was drunk. But she was drunk to my benefits and no I dont mean it in a dirty way. I'm not that type of guy. She was so drunk that she was sprouting nonsense but she sprouted nonsense that surely got my attention. She was saying stuff why I was dating Dara and that I should be with her. Then at some point she blurted out what Dara did to Bom. She threatened Bom to reject me. She only dated Ji to get close to me. She hated how me and Bom were so close. And she knew why I moved her in LA in the first place. She was following me all along.

After that night. I broke up with Dara and trust me she made it so hard for me. But, I had to. I hated her. I hated every single moment I spent with her. After like 5 months of breaking up she wouldnt stop stalking me or following me around. Instead of throwing a restraining order at her, I decided to move to London. I met a lot of people there and had a great time. When I got my act together and got over with the truth that was in me. I decided to tell Ji the truth. I wrote him a letter and I don't know why but years passed by I got no reply. I wonder if he even got it. Seeing how him and Bom are now, I really wonder if he got it.