Eunsuh’s POV

No way…

I dropped my glass of water that I held up to drink when I had overheard the news on the TV.

How could I not have known?

My phone vibrated, indicating a text. It was from MinJae.

-NOONA! ARE YOU OKAY?

Then came another one from MinHo not too long afterwards.

-YAH! You weren’t harassed by anyone, right?

I put my phone down and walked back over to the kitchen and bent down to pick up the broken glass shards from the cup I dropped. I knew this day would come, but I just wanted a couple more months to myself. As I let my mind digress, I felt a slight prick on my finger to notice that it was bleeding.

I sighed as I got up and threw the glass shards safely away and grabbed a tissue to wipe off the blood. After putting enough pressure, the bleeding stopped and I walked back over to my phone to text Minjae back.

-I’m fine. Tell MinHo oppa that I’m okay. Is your dad okay? Is our uncle okay?

It took a couple minutes before he texted back.

-Yeah, they’re both fine. But, I think it’ll be time soon…

I put my phone down on the coffee table and fell back on the couch. I knew exactly what that meant. Sooner or later, we have to publicize it. The more I try to get away from it, the more my uncles will have to face the news reporters. It’s only a matter of time…

It was definitely nerveracking for me to go through this amount of pressure, to be renown again and be that public figure everyone looks up to. Plus, it’s been a while. Last time I was a little kid. Everyone had high hopes for me but I was still a kid…

Come on, Eunsuh. You knew this day would come…

I needed to calm down, but I couldn’t. I was debating on whether to call Jonghun oppa but I had just rejected him not too long ago. It would just be rude and awkward. However, he was the only person I could actually talk to…

I dialed the number that came up in my head and held the phone to my ear as I heard the ringing tone.

“Hello?” the other line picked up.

“Hey…” I replied quietly.

“Hi…? Are you okay? You don’t sound so good.” Seunghyun asked on the other line.

This was awkward. I had second thoughts about why I had called him. It’s not like he knows, yet alone would accept me.

“I’m okay…how are you?” I asked a bit awkwardly.

“I’m good. We have a concert tomorrow, which I’m pretty sure you’ve heard already.” He chuckled on the other line. There was a slight pause before he asked, “Will you be able to make it? It’s been a while…” His voice trailed off but my mind was still clouded with what was going to happen that I didn’t catch it.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll be a little late, though.” I sighed as I managed to relax a little bit by now.

He seemed a bit concerned with my lack of attention on the other line. He repeatedly asked if I was okay, in which I apologized and stated that I was perfectly fine. It was now getting to my head.

-If I really like him, I should tell him, right?

-What if he doesn’t like you back? What if you intimidate him, instead? What if he gets the wrong idea?

Insecure thoughts boggled my mind. I did not want to lose the few people that I actually cared about. In a way, I thought I’d ease him into it to see what he thought.

“Hey, have you seen the news recently? I asked cautiously.

I could actually hear the news on the other line but the volume lowered before he answered, “I just caught the news. Apparently, Shinhae’s heiress is back. Or is said to be back.” There was a short pause before he went about joking, “Gosh, this happens right before our concert, too…I hope we don’t lose fans over her arrival.”

I chuckled slightly before I replied back, “Hey, she’s a girl. Your fans are girls. I don’t think girls attract girls. And who knows, maybe she might be a fan of you.”

There was a smirk that was heard on the other line. “You think so? I think she’s way too busy to be a fan of anything.” His voice lowered a bit before continuing, “Besides, I heard she’s young, or around our age. She’s the niece of the head doctor and prosecutor of Shinhae, and that means she’s the grand-daughter of the former President as well.”

I wasn’t surprised he knew this much. I mean, my information is practically on the internet. All except for my name. My family decided that I should introduce myself when I’m ready. Thus, we always used a different name, Kim EunHae, but as always, there were rumors that EunHae wasn’t my real name, and so no one REALLY knew my real name except for my family and Jonghun.

“Says that she goes by Kim EunHae, but it’s believed that it’s not her real name. Well she’s smart in not letting the public know her real name. Can you imagine all that attention” Seunghyun’s observations snapped me out of my thoughts.

Well, we got this far, might as well push further.

“So What do you think of her? Do you think she’s back?” I asked while trying to sound interested.

A couple seconds of thinking later, he responded, “ I can’t say too much but seeing how high up she stands on the society ladder, I would try really hard not to associate myself with her.”

That statement instilled a sharp pain through my chest.

So he is just like the others…

The one person that I had hoped to accept me, just subtly rejected me.

“Why not?” I asked, trying to sound indifferent from the pain.

“ I have trouble talking to people whose life is on TV all the time.” He replied.

I tried to refute by joking around, “Okay, and you’re not always on TV? You’re practically just like her.”

I heard him let out a small laugh before he answered, “Well, I mean, it’s a different vibe. When I, or FT Island in general, go out on TV, you would get the vibe to cheer us on, support us, and whatever fun, creepy things pris think about when they see us. However, when anyone from Shinhae goes on TV, there is a high obligation to show respect since they contributed so much to us and especially their niece, she’s taking on so much.” He let out a breath before continuing, “Besides, she would be way up there compared to me, and here I am being a celebrity when she amounts to like ten celebrities. I can’t deal with that much…I would feel a bit worthless, you know?”

“Oh…I see…” my voice trailed off. I didn’t want to ask anymore. It was enough.

There was an awkward silence before he decided to point it out, “See, now she’s even taken up the topic of our conversation!” He joked to lighten the mood and asked, “Enough about her, how are you?”

“Me? I’m fine. A little tired but I’m okay.” I smiled on the other line, happy that he cared enough to ask me that.

“Why did you ask about her in the first place?” He asked out of curiosity.

I paused for a brief moment trying to come up with an answer before I replied, “Well, I don’t know, I really look up to her. She’s my role model. And with her coming back, I feel more obligated to study harder to catch up to her….bleh, but she’s just so much smarter than I am, better than me, I don’t even know if I’ll ever reach up to her potential.”

I lied, of course. I am her. But what am I going to say? If I tell him that I’m her, he’s probably not going to want to associate himself with me.

“You know, you’re already perfect the way you are.” I heard him whisper on the other line. It was VERY faint, but I caught it.

“Huh, did you say something?” I asked, to see if he’ll say it any louder.

“N-nothing” He stuttered before he changed topics, “Are you coming to our concert? I didn’t hear your answer earlier…”

Thinking about the late shift I had to attend before heading out to their concert, I told him that I’ll be there but I’ll be late since I had to take care of things first. He teased about me being a workaholic and to take a break here and there. I refuted that comment, stating that THEY were workaholics without a choice. We started talking about other random things before I noticed that it was late. I pointed out that I had to go and that he should get some sleep since he was the busy one tomorrow. With that, we transitioned to saying our good nights and hung up.

I dragged myself over to my bed after doing all the night routines. I couldn’t tell him. I was afraid of how he would perceive me if I had told him. I mean, I finally admitted to myself that I like him. Then, this happens. I just don’t have enough time.

I reached over for the puzzle piece strap, distraught, and held it close to me before I let out a deep sigh and eventually fell asleep.

Okie, I promised an update so here it is. Gah, sorry. I'm not sure if I presented things clearly and if this was interesting enough >.< Lately I have no confidence in my writing even though I have an outline set up...

ANYWAYS, sorry about that. I really hope you guys enjoyed it. 

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