*__Part|Z__*

DONGHAE'S POV

Imagine yourself when you keep on thinking about that someone you really want to see right at that moment, and when you close your eyes and open it in a second, there he is, standing in front of yours. What do you expect to happen next?

I'm expecting him to remember me.

"Lee Eunhyuk"

And ask me, 'do you still remember me?'

"Lee Donghae!"

But he just greeted me.

"Nice to meet you Donghae ssi!"

And those word means, he didn't remember me at all.

"He's my cousin, he's Donghai, and he's from China!"

"Dong...hai?"

"You can call him Aiden, his english name!"

"He doesn't have his korean name Kyuhyunie?"

"Nope. It's his first time here in Seoul and he's not staying for so long, so no need to give him his Korean name!"

I can't understand what they were saying but I'm sure that they talking about me and China.

"He's my friend, his name was Eunhyuk!".

He's Eunhyuk

"You can call me Hyukjae!"

and he said, I can call him Hyukjae.

"Hyukkie! I thought I was just the only one who can call you Hyukjae!"

Kyuhyun called him Hyukkie and Hyukjae smiled at him.

"Aiden will be my friend too, so he can call me Hyukjae! Neh Aiden?"

Friend? I understand the word friend so I nodded. He smiled and Kyuhyun pouts.

We talk. We play. And we became friends.

Hyukjae is my friend and I know to myself, I realized I want to treasure him.

What do you do when you lost your treasure,

Search for it?

"I already found him!"

or just let it?

"I want to keep him again!"

"This is Chovy!"

He give me his big fish plushie and hug it. He smiled.

'"Chovy! This is Aiden, our new friend!"

He talked to the plushie, and we both laugh at it.

"I think Chovy like you!" and he give me his plushie. I smiled.

"Keep him for me?" he said.

I eyed him questioningly. "Why?"

"He likes you, and I think he'll cry if you leave!"

I laughed, plushie don't cries. "I'm not leaving yet!"

"But still you are!"

"Yeah!"

"so keep him, neh? and bring him back to me!"

"huh?"

"He'll cry too when he miss me!" he said.

I laughed again.

"I'll bring him back!" I said.

"Together with you!"

"Neh!" I smiled at him. "Let's play!"

"KAJAAAA'!!!!"

_*_

"we're leaving!"

My uncle suddenly told me and I'm not that prepared. I thought I still have plenty of time in Seoul, but realized, it's almost the end of our one month vacation. I didn't notice the time because i'm always have a good time with Hyukjae, and I'm at lost whenever I with him.

"you should tell me if you're going to leave, neh aiden?" he said to me before.

"neh!"

I promise to tell him and I try to reach for him that day, but everything was so sudden and me as a 6 years old kid can't do something about it. My uncle was strict and we really have to leave that day, so I just asked him a favor together with my cousin Kyuhyun.

I waited at the park at the given time my Uncle allowed me while Kyuhyun was trying to reach for Hyukjae to see me and for us to bid goodbye. Time had passed and the given time is over, Hyukjae didn't come. I encourage myself that this is not the last time and it's not the end for us. I promise to myself that I will be back and that, I will see him again that time.

"I hope you'll wait for me! I'll see you again Hyukkie!" I left his favorite strawberry milk at the swing we used to play with and it's supposed to be the my last treat for him, so better if I just left it there and just hoping he can find it there the other day.

We finally left Korea.

"He's going to be your partner at the competition." my Uncle said, and I can't process what he's saying because my focus is with this cute boy in front of me. We're looking at each other, sensing the familiarity that bond us, and I can say or can I say that perhaps, he recognizes me?

"so you're the transfer student? I hope we'll work hard together." he said and smile at me again. He still have that adorable smile I use to adore like before. He didn't change at all, except, he grew beautiful.

"neh! I'm looking forward for that!" I will always looking forward on what will going to happen on us.

Six years of waiting is over when my auntie, Kyuhyun's mom, asked my Uncle for a favor to become one of the teacher on her owned school. Meaning he'll be back to Seoul again to teach there. He break the good news to me when I went back home from school. asking me if I want to go with him in Seoul and continue my studies there for high school. Who am I to refuse on this oppurtunity? They know that I was always anticipating for this day to come. I was sulking for years and now that I have my chance again, i couldn't help myself but to get excited.

I will see Hyukkie again after long years, i wait too long but i know it all worth it.

It was first day of school and it was my first year in junior high. I was introduced in my korean name Lee Donghae. I was put at the top section because of my passing grade back in Elementary. I was able to top in my first year and I'm slowly adopting my high school life here in Seoul. I can now talk in Hangul fluently, i know how to write too and I can understand it fully. Six years of practicing didn't failed me. I was practicing with all my heart with Hyukkie as my inspiration. I study so hard that gain me on the top, because my Uncle said back then, if I can get the highest grade we will have our vacation again in Seoul and I can see Hyukkie again. all the things I'd done is because of him.

It's was our first encounter after long years of separation. He's still the same after all. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know if he's bothered or somehow he always sees me as a person familiar with him. I'm always waiting that maybe one of this days he'lll come to me and say, "hey! do you remember me? I remember you, you're aiden right? you're my friend back then." I'm always waiting for that day, but it comes nothing.

I'd waited another 3 years, our junior high. Be rarely meet t school and just see each other if it has a competition. I don't have the chance to make friend with him, so I ended up, looking for him from afar. Taking glances of his smile and his cute act that making me fall for him deeply. I really want to approach him and say, i'm his friend back then, the little boy he used to play with before, but something was stopping me to do so.

So I can't do anything but to let things go on its way. I'll start again, I promised myself I'll make friend with him again. I don't care if he remember me or not, the point is, for him to became friend with me. It's hard at first because we rarely meet each other at school, even though I'm always looking for him everyday secretly, it's hard to get close with him.

I told Kyuhyun I want to make friends with Hyukjae again, but he said, maybe it's not a good idea. He said Hyukjae have grown mad at me after those years. He cried and became depressed and Kyuhyun was the one who comfort him, so he knows how much Hyukjae hated me that day.

"You can make friends with him, but don't tell him that you're Aiden!"

"He cried and cried that day until he broke down, he keeps on asking where were you, why you didn't wait for him"

"He's really mad at you that day"

The thought scared me, what if he didn't forgive me when he already know that I was the little aiden before? So I I decided to hide my true identity. I'll stand as Lee Donghae, a korean student living in Seoul. I asked my Uncle Heechul to treat me as a regular student and not as his nephew. I also ask Kyuhyun not to treat me as his cousin in school. Even to my aunt. I want to be simply as Lee Donghae. I'm afraid Hyukkie will find my true identity causing him to go away from me. I don't want that to happen. So I decided to do so, I will not tell him I'm Aiden, which is the main purpose why I want to make friends with him. But I couldn't do anything and I realized, it is for good now, atleast I still can make friends with him.

I started to give him strawberry milk secretly like when we're still young. I know he can't resist strawberry so I try my luck if he still like strawberry milk. I was secretly putting the strawberry milk in his locker by the help of the cleaner ajumma of our locker's room. I always borrowing the duplicate of Eunhyuk's key to have an access to his locker. It all turn easily and I prove that Eunhyuk like strawberry milk too, that concludes Eunhyuk is indeed my Hyukjae. Since then I couldn't stop my self giving him the stawberry milk because I know it makes him happy.

Time passing by and we rarely see each other even on school. We're both on the top section but we're not able to become classmate, the fact that the two of us was always sharing the top spot. I'm happy with that, we're on the same track but still I can't go for him and be close with him. I just stick to my plan that maybe, I just wait for him to remember me though I know it never gonna happened. He hated me that's why he forgot about me.

as time goes by, I manage myself to keep my distance from him. Watching for him everyday in school from afar. To witness his adorable and beautiful smile everyday when he take the strawberry milk from his locker. I became contented with that atleast when we cross our ways accidently he always greet me and talk to me sweetly. It's enough for me.

We're now on our senior high. It's almost three years since I've been watching over him, giving him the strawberry milk he love so much. My feelings for him had grow much stronger than before when we were young. I know i really like him before, but now is different, I think I already love him. My racing heart beats whenever I saw him can explain it. My uncontrollable flushing whenever he's greeting me. My trembling heart whenever I saw him smiling. It all add on the fact that i've been missing him for long time and now that I saw him again but not even get close to him frustrate me. The fact that he's really close now to my cousin Kyuhyun which makes me jealous because of their closeness. I really want to get close to him but I don't know how to approach him properly. I want to tell him that i like him since the first day I laid my eyes on him six years ago. I want to tell him that I waited for long to see him again. I want to express my feeling to him. But I know I can't, I can't manage to lose him again.

So I decided to make a move again. Topping my priority that I will still hide my self as the little aiden. I use my advantage which is my Uncle Heechul, who used to be their homeroom adviser. I ask my Uncle to give Eunhyuk my letter. It's actually a love letter, obviously. I don't know how to express my feelings for him without giving in my top secret so I used to be his secret admirer. Good thing my Uncle agreed to what I want. He even tease me that Eunhyuk was always anticipating for my letter. I'm really glad he appreciate it. So I continue sending my letter for him everyday, expressing how I was deeply and madly inlove with him.

But who knows, the time comes that God and angels from above favor me a lot this days. It's like they giving me the attention I want from Hyukkie. I know it's always accidentally when we cross our ways at the school corridor and I was thankful that I was giving a chance to talk with him and slowly get close to him. and it started when we became the chosen student for the training summit. I said to myself that I will use this oppurtunity to be close to him again. and it happened in no time. I just find myself holding hands with him. Talking with him like before, eating with him, and ended up sleeping with him at the same bed and cried my heart out for him. Honestly I was afraid that time when he got mad at me. I thought he remembered me as aiden who left him. I thought he will not talk to me anymore which scared me more when he's really not talking to me that night. So I force myself to be brave and ask for his forgiveness. Not only because of our fight that night but also because of not waiting for him six years ago. I'm glad he forgave me.

after that week I use to hang out with him at school. I was trying to let him feel that I care for him because I like him. I really like him and I don't know what will happen to me if I let him go again for the second time. It's scared me also when I knew that my cousin Kyuhyun like him too. I always saw him looking for Hyukkie. I know they're really close to each other and I envy my cousin because of that fact. It urge me to move quickly. I know my cousin is a brat. He used to be a brat ever since we're young. He always get what he wants, and knowing that he's really fond of Hyukkie, i know he wouldn't let me to get Hyukkie, he will fight for him.

So I make my move, being his secret admirer was helping me too, knowing that he didn't know me as his secret admirer at the same time. I manage to get close to him. Embrace myself to him. I will admit, i'm selfish over Hyukjae, but that's how I feel. I want him for me, only mine, I want him to be mine. But my cousin was discouraging me, and he said he'll fight for him too. He will not take the reason that we're cousin to let Hyukkie end up with me.

as far as I want to prolong my secret courting on Hyukkie, I decided to confess to him already. That Christmas night when I say I like him, i thought he understand it all. That I like him, i love him and i want him to be mine, but maybe that's not that right time, i didn't heard his response that night, i was just thinking that maybe he didn't heard it because of the fireworks or he take that as a joke. So I try my luck again. New years eve, on that day of Minnie's birth I decided to confess again, knowing that there's also Kyuhyun who dare me that he will confess to Hyukkie that day too. I'm still afraid, i know that they're closeness was deep compared to mine and I know if Kyuhyun will confess to him the same as mine, i know Hyukkie will still favor him.

So I didn't let my guard off to Hyukkie, I always make sure that he's close to me and away from my cousin. and I succeeded. I know I made it. and I know Hyukkie like me too. I love his reaction that day when I confessed to him. It seems like he doesn't want to believe it. So I assure to him once again. at the bus stop, where's my favorite place of all. I said love him again, i'm willing to say it million times for him to understand and know my feelings for him.

I kissed him with all my heart hoping that it will conclude what i'm feeling towards him. He respond, and i smiled, I now I already hold his answer. He cries, i know he will cry. I know all about him. I know he's not allowed to be in a relationship. His Uncle Teukie told me so. I just confess, i need to confess, I really need to. It's not safe to let him now. I need to concealed my feelings to him. Now that he knows that I love him, I know he will not let anyone to court him anymore. I already hold his heart with my mine. Locking it with my promise that I will wait for him. I'm willing to wait for him even it take so long. I already waited for long before and one year of waiting is nothing to compare with it.

We started dating. Pouring my love to him every single day we're together. I know he loves me too that is, he's just not allowed. We're in good terms and I know we're both enjoying our company. Until his Uncle approached me. He talked to me about Hyukjae. He told me that Hyukjae's Mom was suspecting his son for being always late from school, and I know that's because we're always dating at that time. He understand our situation, but he told me about Hyukkie's Mom that she's not really favor of it. So he ask me, if it is possible to stop dating with Hyukjae. That's the thing I was scared of. I don't want to let him go. I hate that fact that we're not going to see each other anymore if we've stop our dating. What if Kyuhyun take advantage of that and stole Hyukkie from me. I was afraid. I don't want to but I tried, I still tried even if it so hard for me.

I didn't send him home that night, knowing from his Uncle that he was ordered by Hyukkie's Mom to send him home after class starting that day. I can't do anything about it anymore so i just comply and deal with it. I just watch him from far...again. It was starting from the beginning again. Why it's always end up like that? It's like a loop, when everything seems alright it just end up on the same track. Here I am again and just secretly watching him like before. I don't even have the chance to get close to him, so what will I do? Start again?

I stop sending him my love letter. Until now he didn't know that I'm his secret admirer, which I'm glad because he didn't suspect me for that. We talk and he said that his Mom and him is not in good term. I felt guilty, really guilty. I don't want him to be hurt, I know he really love his Mom. So I decided to end up our dating officially. It was painful for both of us. But it doesn't mean I will give him up.I always telling him that i'm just here and waiting. I will wait again.

I thought everything's gonna be okay after that but another thing came up after what happened. My Uncle informed me before the graduation that we need to go back to China. Like before, it's a sudden decision again from my Uncle and honestly it pissed me off. But when he told me the reason, i can't argue anymore. My parents ask my Uncle that they want to see me and told him that they will going to get me from my Uncle. after long years that I didn't grew up with them, I know they been missing me and I missed them also . They left me to my Uncle when I was 1 because of their work in States. They just visiting me every Christmas and New Year to see me and to remind me they're my parents and someday the three of us will be together again after their contract ended on their work. and I didn't realized that it came already. I was waiting for this day too. To be with my parents and spend my time with them. Having our family day, eat with them and play with them.

It's my choice now whom should I prioritize. at first I choose Hyukkie. I said to my Uncle that it's already my last year in High School, so I asked him if I could stay for another one year. He agreed, but he also asked me to considered my parents. and as a son who's longing for their parents, in the end I know I don't have a choice but to deal with it.

I still to chose to be with my parents, it's not that I like it, but I don't have any choice but to deal with it. They want to send me to States and live with them there. all my papers were done, and I needed to get there immediately to sign my papers, so I really don't have a choice.

The graduation day has come and here I am waiting for someone. We're going to leave this afternoon and I asked my Uncle again to gave me time to say goodbye to Hyukjae. I was originally planning not to tell him I'm leaving. I don't want to see him crying, I know he'll cry if he knew about it and the fact that I don't know too to myself if we still gonna see each other. I hate it and I'm afraid, but I have to do it. Kyuhyun mock me for that. He's totally mad at me. He's mocking me for always hurting Hyukjae's feeling.

"You're selfish and stupid! I don't know why he's always choosing you!"

"Don't you dare to leave him again like before! I swear I'll never gonna give you a chance to get close to him again!"

The thought of hurting Hyukjae was bothering me. I'm trying to balance what's the best thing to do. To leave without him knowing or to tell him the truth that I'm leaving. I can't decide because both will still hurt him.

"Let's make a bet!"

"If you didn't let him know you're leaving, better let go of him forever!'

"Mwo?"

"If you decided to say goodbye to him, i'll let you and him to be still together!"

I think and think, but who am I to let this things happen, and not to mention, my cousin is really sure about it. I know he can get Hyukjae from me, he's in advantage here. No way I gonna give up Hyukjae to him. I know he's trying to help me to decide and his main concern is not to hurt Hyukjae, so I decided to let Hyukjae know that I'm leaving.

"But i will not let you to do it easily!" Kyuhyun said. "let's both send him a letter, it his choice now who's he'll going to meet!"

"I still can't let Hyukjae choose you in the end! He didn't deserve to be with you after all!'

I can't believe Kyuhyun on what saying to me right now.

"Let us let him decide today!"

a/n: It's a random thought of Donghae. Combination of past and present. I hope everyone understand the sequence of this chapter. It is another lame update from me! Forgive me! Sorry. It's the last part, neh? XD Part Z, what's next in Z? Nothing? So it's the end?

THE END | TO BE CONTINUE?

EPILOGUE