- RE-UPLOADING THE LAST TEN CHAPTERS BACK -  

          Jongdae put down his pen and sighed. He could not seem to focus on what he was writing. He tried to distract himself with other stuff like listening to his iPod, watching movies in his laptop and reading some old novels but still he could not help to think about her all the time. She didn’t go to class today too and that made him felt worst. He wanted to call her, to know whether she was alright or not but he knew that wasn’t a pretty good idea.

                He stood up and walked over to the kitchen. He poured some water into a glass and drank it. He hasn’t been eating anything today and it was already 8.00 pm. He didn’t seem to have the appetite to eat since he was too worried about her. He wondered if she was eating well. But Minki must’ve been taking care of her right? He thought to himself.

                He put the glass on the sink and walked back to his room. He sat down on his chair and opened his book again. I’ll get over with it. It just need some time. Jongdae sighed heavily, picked up his pen and tried as hard as he could to focus on his assignment.

*******************

                “Honey, you should eat something. You haven’t been eating anything since yesterday.” Haera unnie came to my room for the eighth time today, asking me to eat.

                “I’m fine.” I pulled my blanket further until it covered my whole body.

                I could hear Haera unnie sighed as she sat on my bed.

                “You know what, it’s not a good thing to keep all of your problems all by yourself.”

                I did not answer.

                “You know Jungshin and I will always love you no matter what happen right? Whether it was your fault or not, we’re still here to support you.”

                Upon hearing Haera unnie’s words, I cried.

                “Unnie….”

                I pulled down my blanket and hugged Haera unnie tightly. I thought nobody cares about me anymore after yesterday, but I forgot that I still have Haera unnie and Jungshin oppa. She hugged me back and wiped my tears.

                “Now tell me what happen.” She patted my head softly.

                So I spilled out everything to her. Telling her about how I accidently told Minki’s girlfriend about things that I didn’t mean to which eventually made her dumped him, then how Minki went mad at me because of that, and of course lastly about how Jongdae left me. Left me because he still could not forget his late girlfriend. I could not hold my tears when I talked, so I just let it just poured unstoppably.

                “Oh honey. I didn’t know what to say.” Haera unnie stared at me sympathetically.

                “I know. I’m so pathetic right? I screwed up everything! My best friend hated me and my boyfriend left me. No one cares about me anymore. No one! I should just die.” I choked between my sobs.

                “Hey, don’t say that. We still love you remember?” Haera unnie rubbed her palm gently on my wet cheek.  What would I be without them?

                “Unnie, how can I go to class after this? How can I face Jongdae? And Minki? How?”

                “Well, I think you should give some time to Minki. Let him completely calm down first and then you approach him and explain to him clearly what really happened. I think Minki will understand it. He still in the middle of trying to except the fate that he loss of his father, that’s why he reacted that way. Give him time. And for Jongdae—“

                “Jongdae’s a jerk. A total jerk. A jerk that so stupid for leaving you and he wasn’t supposed to do that. If he knew that he could not forget his late girlfriend that why would he accepted you in the first place? He should’ve known better about that.”

                Suddenly I saw Jungshin oppa leaning on the door with arms folded. He smiled at me and walked over to us.

                “You deserve to have someone much better than him pumpkin. So, cheer up okay?” Jungshin oppa put his hand on my shoulder.

                Jungshin oppa was right. I do deserve someone better. But I didn’t like THAT someone, because I love Jongdae. I never fall in love to anyone before, even during high school. He’s the first person that ever stole my heart away. So I can’t just quickly get over him like that. I’ve been watching for four months and then I finally got him but a week after that I lost him. Damn it.

                “Jungshin’s right. Maybe you should just forget him. I know it’s hard to do that because you really love him. But honey, sometime we can’t have what we love.”

                “But I really love him. I really do. Maybe I wasn’t up to his expectation. Maybe I’m not as good as his late girlfriend so that’s why he regretted for accepting me. He thought I can be like her but I can’t. But I love him. I love him very much.”

                “We know that. But we don’t like to see you acting like this. Lock up yourself in the room the whole day and refuse to eat anything, this is not right. Listen, if you really want him to come back at you, you gonna have to show Jongdae that he’s wrong for leaving you. Make him think that he was so stupid for letting you go. Not crying under your blanket the whole day like this.”

                “Then what about Minki? I felt so guilty to him.”

                “I’ll talk to Minki. So don’t worry about him. What I want you to worry about now, is to get on with your life as usual. I know you’re stronger than this aren’t you?” Jungshin oppa patted my back.

                I sighed heavily. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be like this. I have to eat, go to class, help them at the café, and do my assignment as usual.

                “I am.” I answered weakly.

                “Feeling better now?” Haera unnie asked.

                I nodded. “Thanks.”

                “No need to say that. You’re just like our family now. Your problem is our problem too. So now, I want you to come down and let’s have dinner together. Ok?” Jungshin oppa looked at me.

                I smiled. “Ok.”

                So that’s it, I’m going back to my old self again. I didn’t know what’s gonna happen if I see Jongdae or Minki tomorrow. But I don’t care anymore. Minki can hate me as much as he wants because I know I deserve that. And Jongdae……I didn’t even want to think about it. I love him too much and I can’t forget him. But I’ll avoid him after this. So that he can continue to love his dead girlfriend and I can just continue to watch him for a far. Like I always do.