04 Love Sick
The Fool Who Loves You"Please take it awayThis love that opened my eyes to youYou came to me without caution, without a soundWhy did you shake me up?You make me want you and it hurtsI hope every day for the day you will finally acknowledge meCan't it be fulfilled just once?I've waited for a long timeIt was the first time I got to know love"- Love Sick, TaeTiSeo
YEON.
"Well done," Shinsadong Tiger, the music producer for our new mini album, claps his hands, showing us his wide smile. "That's good... for the first recording. Let's try again."
YYY, or to be exact my group, is in the middle of recording the title track for the upcoming mini album. It's an upbeat track where Yoseob's vocal will be the power, Junhyung's rap will be the main attention, and my dance will be the spotlight during live performances.
Junhyung helped in writing the rap lyrics as usual. The song is about unconditional love and I actually love the lyrics. It's beautiful and I think the fans will also love it.
For me, a song is not all about the beat. Of course it's important but I think the words are also important. I actually want to write lyrics because I want to show my love to the fans through my music.
I envy Junhyung for being such a great musician...
...and maybe that's the very first reason why I wanted to know him better that day.
"Tell me why we should be together."
I rub my forehead and slap myself mentally. I've started to remember memories I don't need to remember.
"We never started anything so why should we call it an end?"
Right. We're not together from the start. There should be nothing left between us but friendship.
I agreed with him so if there is anyone I should blame, it's me and myself. I never could blame him because I know he holds no responsibility for my broken heart.
"It's okay, isn't it, Soneul?"
I bite my bottom lip to prevent myself from remembering the past. My head aches and I don't like the feeling I'm holding inside right now.
"Soneul?" Yoseob puts his hand on my right shoulder with worried tone. He looks at me and asks, "Are you alright?"
I blink and gather my focus back. I shake my head and force a small smile, "Sorry, I just... It's just the rain. I'm sorry."
"Are you tired?" Junhyung takes off his headphone and approaches me. "We can delay the recording if you need a break. It's okay, right, Hyung?"
Shinsadong Tiger nods and announces that we can have thirty minutes for our break before continue with the recording again.
"I'm sorry," I bow to Junhyung and Yoseob. I feel that I burden them with my condition, delaying our progress just because I'm too weak. "I promise I will do better in the next recording."
Junhyung pats my head and gives me a smile, "Don't take it too hard. We're in this together. You've worked really hard already and we can understand that, right, Yoseob?"
"Of course we understand," Yoseob retorts and it makes me feel better. "Why don't we buy something to drink to warm ourselves?"
"I'll go," Junhyung volunteers. "I'll buy hot coffee. What do you want, Yoseob?"
"Green tea," our main vocalist requests with a wide grin as we step out from the recording room. "What do you want, Soneul?"
Junhyung doesn't need to wait for my answer. He knows what my favorite is even before I tell him, "Hot chocolate, right? I'll be right back."
He still remembers.
YANG.
The rain is falling down, hitting the Earth coldly. Lately rainy days become more often and the cold weather strikes us.
However the weather doesn't become an obstacle for our work. We're preparing for our comeback and we don't want to delay it because it will disappoint our fans.
We will have the recording for our MV next week and the launching will be held in one month so we have a lot to prepare.
I turn my gaze from the window to the main dancer of YYY. She is sitting down on the chair, staring at her own intertwined fingers in silence. Her face is somehow pale but she insists that she is alright.
This is the second day I see Soneul in this condition. I seriously think that she has reached her limit already.
Soneul just received a love call to star in a commercial for a new cosmetic brand and she took it right away. Junhyung and I warned her but she told us that everything would be alright.
Which doesn't look that way now.
She is always like this. Forcing smile, faking laughter, acting as if nothing happened.
"There is nothing I can do."
Junhyung's words echo in my mind. I was enraged when I hear his statement. Why did he give up on her without doing anything?
"Soneul," I take a seat next to her and she turns to look at me. "Are you sure you still can continue? I really think you need to go to hospital."
"I'm alright," she replies weakly, resting her head against the wall. "We must finish the recording today, right?"
I look at her pale face and then look away, dropping my gaze reluctantly. My heart beats faster as I remember that I almost told her what I'm feeling for her days ago in the dance practice room.
"He made me wanted him so much. Why didn't he take the pain away when he left?"
Her words when she told me about what happened between her and Junhyung fill my mind.
"Soneul, I...," I clear my throat nervously and take a deep breath, knowing that there is a possibility she will never return my feeling. "I really l-"
I immediately stop when Soneul suddenly leans on my shoulder. At first I become more nervous but I come to the realization that something is wrong.
"Soneul?" I call out her name but she doesn't respond. I carefully straighten my body and check her condition.
Her forehead is burning and she is unconscious.
YONG.
"She is going to be alright," the nurse tells me with an assuring smile. "She just needs to have a good rest for a while."
"Thank you," I bow and Yoseob does the same. She excuses herself and walks away, leaving two of us and Hyunjoo at the corridor of the hospital.
"I'll call the President first to cancel all of Soneul's schedule," our manager speaks and takes out his phone, letting Yoseob and I to enter the ward where Soneul is sleeping.
When I returned from buying drinks for three of us, Yoseob was already in the panic state because Soneul just fainted. She had fever and we ran her to the nearest hospital immediately.
"I should have noticed it," I mumble, her hair. Soneul is still sleeping and I know she is really tired. "I should have stopped her from taking all those contracts."
Yoseob just looks at me without saying anything. I actually want him to blame me instead of saying that it's not my fault or else.
"You're talented, Jun, and I actually like that."
Looking at her like this makes me remember the day she fell sick when I was still so close with her. I stayed next to her all night just to make sure that she would be alright later.
Why didn't I realize it sooner until that day came?
"Is it alright if I take your place?"
I clench my fists secretly when I remember Yoseob's question after I told him everything after our debut. I actually told him that it's not a problem and I regret it now.
Maybe I don't want it to happen. Maybe I just don't want to admit it. Maybe I'm just too late to realize what I really want.
I'm really a fool, aren't I?
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