14 Sorry
The Fool Who Loves You"Forgive me for being so badI'm sorry but I need your loveI'm sorry"Baby, I'm sorryI still want to be your everythingBaby, I'm sorryI still want your entire heartI can't let you goI still want your loveWhy did you love such a bad person like me?"- Sorry, Wonder Girls
YEON.
"Ah, I'm sleepy," I whine chidishly, pouting my lips as I swing my feet back and forth. "How long do we need to wait again? One hour?"
Junhyung ruffles my hair and smiles to calm me down, "Yes, one hour, Yeon Soneul. Please be patient. It's raining outside anyway."
It's the day we will do a meeting for our upcoming mini concert. It's a concert based on our fans' request. Our songs are not enough to have a big concert yet but fans want to see us on stage, all by ourselves.
However the event organizer which has been picked can't arrive on time. I hate waiting the most, especially when my schedule is packed up. My good mood has disappeared in a matter of hour.
Not to mention that Yoseob is not with us. He has a schedule for recording since he got an offer to sing for a new drama soundtrack. It feels that something is missing without him now.
Perhaps it's just me being exaggerating but I just realized that Yoseob always makes me feel comfortable. Whenever he is around, it feels like everything will be alright and I like that feeling.
It's not like I don't want to be alone with Junhyung. It does feel awkward sometimes but the feeling fades away as I remember Yoseob.
So this is how it feels to be loved by someone truly.
"What is it?" Junhyung snaps me back to my senses. He puts a curious smile on face. "What's with our maknae until she smiled all by herself so suddenly?"
"You look happier lately," Hyunsoo comments with a teasing smile. "Is our visual in love?"
I am taken aback slightly but I quickly pretend to be mad, "You two are cruel! I'm not going to talk with you two!"
Our manager laughs happily. He stands up and tells us that he is going to buy something for us while we must wait in the meeting room until Yoseob arrives.
"Yah, stop sulking," Junhyung props his chin on palm, looking at me with warm gaze. He my hair with his fingers, "You don't know how cute you are when you're pouting, do you?"
What's with the sudden sweet words?
I glance at him with curiosity and notice that he looks really tired. Now that we're left all alone, I can't help but to remember the night when he confessed to me again.
And looks like it's not just me who thinks of something else but work at the moment.
"I'm sorry, Soneul," Junhyung speaks out. "I'm sorry for being so bold. I'm sorry for being honest at the wrong time but I... I'm sorry, Soneul."
He should be. He should be sorry, shouldn't he? For breaking my heart like it's nothing. For being such an insensitive guy who made me closed my heart from love.
"Forget it," I force a smile, trying hard not to make the situation become awkward. "We're groupmates now so why should we make past as a problem now?"
Please don't say anything stupid, Junhyung. I keep repeating the prayer in my heart but, unfortunately, it doesn't work.
"Should I be sorry for loving you, Soneul?"
YONG.
I didn't expect that I would be alone with Soneul right now but the urge to tell her what I have in mind surfaces, especially when I look at her smile.
Can I ever be the reason for her to smile? Or have I lost my chance to Yoseob?
I don't know. I don't want to know. All I want to do now is to tell her that she still stays in my heart. It may sound stupid and reckless but love is worth fighting for, right?
"Forget it," she tries to shrug off the topic. "We're groupmates now so why should we make past as a problem now?"
That is exactly the problem. The fact that she keeps trying to avoid me as if I will never have a chance to be with her is the problem.
"Should I be sorry for loving you, Soneul?" I reach out my hand to touch her face. "I'm not going to hide what I'm feeling for you, Soneul. I love you and only you."
Soneul quickly stands up, drawing distance from me. She shakes her head and mumbles, "Jun, we never started anything from the first place. You said that. Why do you act like this?"
"Because I still want to be your everything," I clench my fists tight. "Because I still want your love."
I regret what I did to her. I really do but that doesn't stop me from keeping this feeling for her. It might be late but it's better than never... or so I think.
"But I don't love you anymore," her answer pierces me down, breaking my heart into pieces. "I can't, Jun. We're not... My heart has stopped beating for you."
"Then for whom does your heart beat now?"
For an unknown reason, I already have a feeling whose name she will tell.
Soneul closes her eyes and then answers slowly, "Yoseob."
I knew it. I should have known it. It's too obvious that I didn't want to admit how close they are lately; maybe it's just my attempt to avoid the fact.
There are so many questions I want to ask her. Why Yoseob? What should I do to make her look at me again? How will she forgive me? But I couldn't say a word.
Instead I stand up with aching heart. I walk to the door and hold the handle, trying to say something to Soneul or, perhaps, I'm just waiting for her to stop me.
But none of us say a word so I open the door and leave the room, heading to the restroom.
Minute by minute passes by. I don't know how long I lock myself in the restroom until my phone rings. The name appears on the screen is the name I want to see the least at the moment: Yoseob.
As much as I want to ignore it but I finally pick it up, still trying to control my emotion inside, "Yes?"
"Yah, where are you two?" Yoseob asks. "I'm in the meeting room. Are you and Soneul somewhere else? Ah! If you're at the cafetaria, grab something for me to eat!"
Eh?
"Wait. Soneul isn't there?" I walk out from the restroom. I have a bad feeling now. A very bad feeling.
"If she is here, I will not call you," he jokes. "I called her but her phone is off. I bet she forgot to charge her phone last night."
I tell Yoseob to wait for me there and close the phone line. Without wasting for another second, I dial Soneul's number but, like what Yoseob said, I can't reach her.
The moment I arrive at the meeting room, Yoseob asks if something is wrong because I look really pale. I just tell him that I'm alright but I'm actually not.
Where is Soneul?
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