24 Tomorrow
The Fool Who Loves You"Don't say that time heals allBecause each moment will be like death for meYes, Receiving love doesn't mean you have itCovering time doesn't mean it passesBreathing doesn't mean you liveNow I knowBaby, there's no, no tomorrowI'm stopped still from that time, that placeIt's the last, lingering momentAlthough for you, it was just a passing dayBaby there's no, no, no no more tomorrowTill you come back, everyday is yesterdayBaby there's no, no, no no more tomorrow"- Tomorrow, Tablo ft. Taeyang
YANG.
Everything was dark for seconds before I regained my sense. Smoke caught me but I fought back the urge to lose my consciousness because I knew for sure I would die if gave up.
Both Hyunjoo and I fell from the staircase and it trapped us at the moment. I found Hyunjoo knelt down with injured knee, "Hyung! Yah! I'll get you out from here. Just wa-"
"Why should I believe in you?" he suddenly asked a ridiculous question at wrong moment. "You're nothing but my little sister's heartbreaker, Yoseob. You should hate me."
I heaved a sigh and took off my golden ring, the one I never let go even when we're performing on stage; it's one of my precious treasures because Soneul and Junhyung gave it to me on my last birthday.
"Here is the proof," I handed it over to him. "You know how I treasure it and I would never give it to someone randomly. Until we get out from here, hold onto it. Now... do you believe me, Hyung?"
There was no time for him to answer because the other part of the staircase kept breaking down. To my surprise, Hyunjoo rushed to me and protected me from the falling wooden staircase, "Argh!"
"H-Hyung!" I couldn't hide my anxiety anymore but he kept holding me as he crashed through everything. He led us through the back door instead of the front one. "Yah! Hyung! You're on fire!"
Hyunjoo pushed me away, telling me to go through the door when we were close to it. I turned around to drag him along but, unfortunately, everything was a mess already; the broken staircase separated me from him.
"H-Hyung!" I coughed due to the smoke. "Yah! I'll wait for you! Come on! We can-"
"Go, Yoseob!" he shouted loudly and I could see him smiling through the raging fire. "I'm your manager, remember?"
"What?!"
Did I just heard what I thought he said to me?
"Besides I don't want to see our beautiful visual to cry if you're trapped here!" he stated as if it's a joke. "You're too nice, Yoseob, and nice people like you deserve to live longer than me."
He was being nonsense. I was going to make my way to him but the fire became worse than before and I almost ran out of breath that the only way I could do now was to escape through the backdoor.
I ran and ran, leaving the burning orphanage with the strength left within me. I didn't know how long I ran. I ran into nowhere, to the abandoned field. The dark cloud hid the sun as I stopped, exhausted.
"Hyung...," a tear ran down on my cheek.
I lost him.
"Hyunjoo Hyung!" I screamed out to the sky, right before the rain poured down, washing my tears away.
Did I still deserve to be here now?
* * *
I opened my eyes, shaking because of the cold. Looked like I lost my consciousness and fainted here, right under the rain.
My head ached and it was really hard for me to stand properly. I sat up and noticed that I had no golden ring on my finger anymore; so it's not a dream.
"Hyung...," I buried my face on hands, regretting everything that had happened. What had I done? What could I do now?
Suddenly Soneul's face crossed my mind. Right. She saved me back there and the ceiling fell on her legs. How was she doing now? Where was Junhyung? I needed to look for them.
It was then I saw a familiar figure nearby. She called out for my name desperately, "Yoseob! Yoseob! Answer me if you're here! Please tell me... Please..."
"Hyunmi...?" I whispered her name and tried to approach her. "Hyunmi?"
Her face beamed and tears rolled down on her face. She hugged me and mumbled, "You're alive! Oh my... You're alive... You are alive... I thought... Then the body... It's Hyunjoo Oppa..."
She loosened her embrace and fell down, crying for one thing I didn't want to believe in. The body. So Hyunjoo couldn't make it. I left him inside to...
...death.
"They thought it was you...," Hyunmi sobbed. "The golden ring... I don't... The fire... I escaped from the car and I... I tried to look for you and Oppa... I was desperate..."
I hugged her, letting her to cry. I closed my eyes as random memories rushed in my thought. It's too much already. This was all too much for us.
"You said they thought it was me," I repeated her words. "They... Hyunmi..."
I held her shoulders firmly and looked into her eyes deeply, "Can we pretend that it's me?"
* * *
It didn't feel good at all, asking Hyunmi to pretend that her dead brother was me. She didn't understand at first but, in the end, she fulfilled my wish willingly.
She brought me to the apartment where she and Hyunjoo lived. Hyunmi covered me from the outer world, letting me to use what her brother had, making sure that no one knew that I was still alive.
Day by day passed and Hyunmi kept updating me about what public knew: Yang Yoseob died in terrible fire incident, the funeral would be held in a week, she would resign from entertainment world, and Soneul suffered bone fracture.
I held the urge to rush to the hospital, to find Soneul and apologize to her, to stay by her side and assure her that everything would be alright. I couldn't do that anymore now.
Because I had made a decision.
To pretend that I didn't live in the world anymore.
It's the only way I could make an amend for Hyunjoo. I lost him when I could save him. He sacrificed himself for me and what could I do now for him?
Soneul suffered because of me, because she helped me she needed to suffer the bone fracture, causing her to lose her dream as a dancer. She had Junhyung, right?
But Hyunmi... She had no one now that her brother had gone.
* * *
"Are you sure?" Hyunmi asked me under the umbrella. We were looking at the funeral from afar as rain kept hitting the ground without mercy. "Your family... Your friends... Your fans... Why do you throw them away from life, Yoseob?"
"I'm not throwing them away," I answered with monotone. "I just..."
I stopped, not knowing what I should say to her. The guilt still trapped me, especially because I knew Hyunmi would wake up at midnight, calling for her brother.
"Your brother wanted me to protect you," I lied to her. "And that's what I would do. It's his last wish. Sooner or later they would live their lives again as if nothing happened. It will be alright even without me."
I hoped so. I hoped everything would be alright without me.
* * *
Living under the name Kim Hyunjae, I never really stepped out to the crowd. Hyunmi dyed my hair to brown, helped me with contact lens and glasses. Maybe it doesn't really help but at least it covers me somehow.
Four months already and I feel relieved that both Soneul and Junhyung are still active in music. YYY is disbanded and they are walking their own paths while I try to earn money by helping Hyunmi to design random posters by requests.
That's the only way so I don't need to reveal myself to public and keep living on.
"Yoseob," Hyunmi calls out my name and looks at me with a small smile. "What did my brother actually tell you for the last time?"
I blink upon her question, "I told you. He wanted me to protect you. Why did you as-"
"I know it's just a sweet lie," she shakes her head and sighs. "You're really nice, Yoseob. I... I am really happy that you're willing to be by my side for four months already but... you're not happy, Yoseob. I can see it."
I can't say a word. Her words is nothing but truth.
I pretend that I would be alright but I don't. I breathe but the air suffocates me. It's like I'm stuck in the past, like future is empty and I must admit that I just want the past to fill my days.
Pretending that I don't care about my family, that I don't know my fans are crying for me, that I don't want to talk with Junhyung anymore, and...
...that I don't love Soneul.
It's a torture.
But doesn't Hyunmi feel the same?
"I'll be alright now, Yoseob," she speaks. "I'm not going to keep you with me when you don't want to. Oppa caused a lot of trouble but... I think somewhere, somehow, he cared truly about three of you."
Hyunmi stands up and walks to the door, wearing her coat, "Today is the first snow. I'm going out for a while. See you again, Yoseob."
She leaves me with puzzling thought.
* * *
I stand with hands inside of the pockets, staring at the promotional board with the words "Miracle, You're a Miracle" on it. G.Na's name is on it and "ft. Soneul" is next to her name.
"Soneul...," I murmur the name that I have been missing like crazy. Knowing that she keeps singing, I feel slightly better whenever I hear her voice but it doesn't enough. "Do you miss me?"
It's the second time I come here without any objection today. It's just I want to stare at the board close enough.
I glance at the wristwatch and decide that it's time to return. I cross the road and stop my steps when I walk across a music store.
There is an album produced by Junhyung. It's put on the etalase and I can't help but to smile, feeling proud for him because he is recognized as one of the best music producers now.
I heard that he will direct the music video for G.Na and Soneul will feature in the video.
"Yoseob!"
A very familiar voice calls my name. I turn around as my heart beats faster.
It's not possible.
"Yang Yoseob!" he hugs me and excitement is obvious in his tone.
How could Junhyung recognize me?
No. I slap myself mentally. I can't let him know that I'm still alive. I must pretend that I'm someone else; no one should know that I'm Yang Yoseob except Hyunmi.
Junhyung looks shocked when I tell him that he has mistaken me with someone else. To my surprise he actually asks something from me as he hands a paper of an address to me, "Come to meet me tomorrow. Just for five minutes."
Tomorrow?
"I know you will," he speaks to me with a smile that he always gave when we're going on stage as YYY, to convince me that I would do the best, when I asked him what if I don't come. "I have faith in you."
He walks away through the snow. I stand still with confusion.
My heart clenches upon his faith on me. I shouldn't come. Of course I won't come.
What if Soneul will be there? My heart will never bear the possibility to act cold towards her.
My love for her never vanishes. I love her too much that I'm too scared to meet her now, to know that she is suffering because of me.
I rip the paper and heave a sigh, "I'm sorry, Junhyung. I can't do your favor."
Tomorrow will be just another ordinary day. Without Junhyung. Without Soneul.
It will be.
__________
Author's Note:
Twist enough? Or not?
Please kindly tell me if you feel something is strange, wrong, or not fitting at all.
Feel free to drop comments below or mention me through Twitter @AFFkyuri91
Thank you for reading! :)
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