05 Severely
The Fool Who Loves You"Foolishly, I must have loved you too foolishlyIt's only you, I can't even dream of loving another personI'm a fool that only knows youWhat am I supposed to do?Cruelly, I am growing apart from you too cruellyWhat's so hard about saying goodbye?I can't even open my mouthCruelly, I am growing apart from you too cruellyBecause you'll be left in my heart deeper than a scarI don't think I'll be able to erase you"- Severely, FT Island
YONG.
Yoseob stirs in his sleep and I heave a sigh at the scene. I come to his side and pat his shoulders, "Yoseob? If you're tired, return first to the apartment. Soneul will be alright."
He rubs his eyes slowly as he regains his consciousness. "I'm alright... I'm just sleepy..."
"You need a good rest," I ruffle his hair playfully. "I don't want to visit another ward just because you force yourself. The weather is not friendly lately so you better take care of yourself, Yoseob."
I don't feel really well too actually but I can't make him worried about me. I'm the leader and I need to make sure that we're in a good shape to continue our activities, especially because we're going to have our comeback stage pretty soon.
An hour has passed but Soneul is still sleeping quietly. I spent the past hour just by looking at her while Yoseob fell asleep after thirty minutes.
"I'll find something to eat," Yoseob chooses to speak. He stands up and asks me if I want to eat something which I kindly refuse since I don't feel hungry at all.
Yoseob walks out from the ward, closing the door behind, leaving me and Soneul alone. The silence fills the room and I can't help but to lock my gaze on her sleeping face.
"So we just need to pretend nothing happened."
My heart clenches when I remember Soneul's expression during our conversation seven months ago. Now that I think of it, maybe I'm the one who made the very first mistake.
If only I didn't ask her at the first place, maybe we would just be groupmates now and I don't need to think too much whenever I look at her.
"Soneul," I take her hand with mine carefully, "what if I tell you I've changed my mind now?"
Because the distance between us is too cruel. I can't forget how special she was for me back then and she is even more special now.
It's so painful that I don't know what I should do.
YEON.
"Soneul, what do you think about having a boyfriend?"
I blinked for numerous times and then turned to see Junhyung who sat right next to me. He looked at me with a smirk, waiting for my answer.
This must be a dream. I remembered it exactly. It was five months before our debut. The agency just announced to us, the trainees, that they would select some trainees to be put in one group.
We just finished our dance practice and decided to stay behind after the practice was over. We discussed about our possibility to be picked in the future group.
The conversation led to nowhere when he suddenly asked me the surprising question. I asked him what's up with the question but he only gave me a smile, "Don't you think a boyfriend will give you motivation?"
"Maybe," I frowned and I remembered exactly what he said to me after that. He said that it's been a while since the last time he was in a relationship, thanks to our busy trainee days.
"Why don't we support each other that way, Soneul?" he rested his arm on his knee, never looking away from me. "I'll treat you as my girlfriend and... well, it's just a random idea."
I was not thinking properly at the moment. We were friends and I actually admired him somehow. I took it as a joke and played along with him.
Unfortunately I was getting so into it that I couldn't help but to fall for him.
"I guess...," Junhyung leaned closer to me and whispered right to my ear, "...we can start from now."
I open my eyes and the sudden bright actually hurts my eyes. I close them again before trying to adjust my sight with the bright lamp.
"You're awake," Yoseob greets me with a smile. He sighs in relief, "You fainted because of high fever. Do you feel better now?"
"I think so...," I answer weakly and look around. There is no one else in the room but Yoseob. "Junhyung..."
Is it wrong for me that I still look for him?
YANG.
The rain has stopped and finally the hot tea has made me feel a lot better than before. I returned to Soneul's ward with a can of cola which is Junhyung's favorite.
I must admit that the weather gave us bad impact somehow even though I try to ignore it. It's the first time Soneul fainted because of sickness ever since our debut.
I should have known that our way will not be as smooth as what we want. There are a lot of things we need to be prepared if we want to become a better idol group.
"Ah, Junhyung," I stop when Junhyung opens the door from inside. He closes the door and tells me that he is going back first because there is something he need to take care with our CEO.
"If the doctor has confirmed it's alright for her to return, can you please accompany her, Yoseob?" Junhyung gives me a warm smile. "I'll leave her with you then."
He pats my shoulder and then walks away, heading out from the hospital. I return to the ward and wait for Soneul to wake up.
"There is nothing between me and Junhyung."
Soneul always tries to convince me about that whenever I ask about their relationship. Ironically I know the truth already, that they happened to be in a relationship.
Well, more or less. It's not really a relationship. It's more like friends with benefit or things like that.
Junhyung said that it's just a game but, from what I see since we are in one group, I don't believe if Junhyung doesn't harbor special feeling towards Soneul.
I return to my senses when Soneul's hand moves slightly. She opens her eyes slowly and I sigh in relief to know that she's alright, "You're awake. You fainted because of high fever. Do you feel better now?"
"I think so...," she answers softly and her gaze wanders around. A name slips her lips, "Junhyung..."
My heart aches when I hear she mentions the name. It's hurt and painful but, still, I can't stop myself to yearn for her.
"He needs to meet the CEO," I force a smile, clenching my fists tight. "He is really worried about you, Soneul."
"Is he?" Soneul replies with a sad smile on her face. "I bet he is. What will happen to our comeback if I keep lying down on hospital bed like this?"
"I'm also worried about you," I take her hand and, ignoring my rapid heartbeat, I plant a kiss on the back of her hand. "And not as a groupmate."
Should I tell her?
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