"I keep myself busy with things to do, but everytime i pause, I think of you."

-Arioka Daiki

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Just how Daiki was the last person I saw before I passed out, he was as well, the first one I saw when I opened my eyes on Christmas morning. Heat was beaming into the house, however, at the same time, it can feel the chills of the outside air seeping in. 

On my right, was my best friend who sat on the floor and rested his head on my bed. I tried reaching for my alarm clock to check the time, but as i did, pain shot through my body again making me whimper. 

Guessing my whimper was too loud, Daiki woke up in an instant. "Ah.. You're awake. Daijobu?" 

"Body hurts." I whimpered again. 

"I'll be back." He said, running out of the room leaving me alone again. 

Throughout the minute that he was gone, I tried squirming myself out of bed, the pain was impossible to deal with so I just gave up, even though i was half on and off the bed. 

"what are you doing?" Daiki said, walking in, seeing me in a embarrassing position. 

"shut up.." I uttered, rolling my eyes. 

"hora." He replied, helping me back into the position i was before. 

"here." He then said, blowing on a spoonfull of soup.

I turned my head. "I don't want to eat.."

"You have too! I know you're hungry." 

"I'm not."

"don't be stubborn."

"i'm not!"

"then eat."

"i don't want to!"

"Ayuki!" He yelled, making flinch.

I finally gave in and agreed to let him feed me. 

"Arigatou.." i muttered, lowering my head after he was done.

He shook his head. "I don't deserve a thank you. I did something really bad yesterday that I shouldn't have. gomen."

I stared at him and sighed. "sometimes.. I even wonder.. do you really know the real meaning of an apology."

"what do you mean?"

I widened my eyes and looked down. I didn't realize i said that. "gomen." 

"It's okay. I deserved it."

I didn't know what to say. It was as I felt that he did but he didn't at the same time.

There was just a few things bothering me.. 

1. How did I get into my pajamas?

2. My wounds are treated already?

3. If Daiki is always hanging out with Nao every single day, why is he still here? And on Christmas Day?

"Ahh.. it's snowing." I blurted out without realizing it again. I couldn't help but mention that I saw the little flakes falling down outside my window which was right across my bed. 

"Souka.. it is... white christmas nee" Daiki said.

"un" I nodded.

It was really rare for us to have this silence. It got so quiet that I can hear the heat room in our basement rattling. 

I finally decided to break the silence. "Dai-chan.." I spoke.

"hmm?"

"yesterday... why were you late?" I asked. I knew being this straightfoward would probably worsen our friendship but i needed to know. 

He sighed. "I don't know if right now is the time to say it.."

"what do you mean?" 

"It's just that.. Remember I left a note saying that i would tell you everything on our hangout last night?"

"yeah.."

"I was going to tell you everything after you tell me everything that you've been hiding."

"I'm hiding?"

"Ayuki.. I know you're hiding something from me. I KNOW you. I can tell when you feel upset, lonely, mad, or even fustrated. Hiding it wouldn't change anything."

"I don't think you really knew how i feel these weeks."

"Then how do you feel?"

"To be honest Dai-chan.. I really don't know. But at the most.. confusion."

"Me too."

"ehh?"

"Can you promise to listen to me to the end if i told you what really happened?"

"Should I?"

"You should."

"then I promise."