Monday 18^th December

Dear Diary

The week in the Philippines went really quick. It wasn’t that awkward staying in my mother’s house with the girls due to the fact that we are all females.  The news of my pregnancy hit us all hard especially my mother. It was hard watching her accept the fact but she was supportive. So were the other girls.

~ 5^th July ~

‘Dara! Come help me!’ my mother yelled from the kitchen.

‘Arraseo Umma!’ I called back making my way to the other end of the house. My mother was preparing a family tradition for the final meal with all of us. Tomorrow morning we’d all be flying back to Seoul to begin recording for our new album. It was horrible leaving home after  coming back. Its true what they say about not knowing what you have until it’s gone. I didn’t know that I missed my family this much – my brother included. Coming back to all these memories makes it harder accepting what I found out a week ago.  Even though I won’t admit it, I’m shocked. I never thought I’d be one of those get pregnant before marriage type people. But I guess what’s done is done and I can’t wait to welcome my daughters to the world in 6 months time.

Finally it was dinner time. I spent all afternoon couped up in the kitchen gossiping with my mother while the girls enjoyed their final day on the beach. The mood was lively but I knew that my mother was going to find it hard adjusting to the empty house after tomorrow. But I had no choice but to leave.

‘Dara...’ ChaeRin began looking up from her plate.

‘Hmm...’ I replied as I munched on my bread.

‘You know we have your back... So don’t feel bad about anything when we get back, okay?’ she added giving me a smile. I looked at her and the others and found them all smiling

‘And remember I’m always here if any of you need me’ my mother said, ‘you don’t need to call, just show up and I’ll let you in because this is all of your homes now.’ She added with a smile. I knew tears were behind it as she excused herself to the bathroom.

‘Dara...’ Minzy began and all eyes fell on her, ‘erm... you never really answered our question the other night.’ She said looking up but avoiding eye contact.

‘Yeah, we gotta know some day right?’ Bommie added

‘I would tell you, but I seriously don’t know’ I said looking at my half eaten plate. I knew dinner was over as the others began clearing up and leaving the dining area.

That night I didn’t sleep well, thoughts and images plagued my mind. What were people going to say? This was just going to further support the rumours already built up against 2NE1. I have ruined all chances of us making it big as a girl band. I was the reason 3 amazingly talented girls were going to get blacklisted from the industry.

It was all my fault. And things were only going to get worse. With that thought I drifted away to SanDara world. 

This is probably the most boringest chapter I have EVER written. I'm really sorry! I'm going to work on the next chapter right now so it might be up later tonight. More action to come hopefully as we build up to the .

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