Dara’s POV

I planned on making Haejangguk (hangover soup) coz for sure the girls will have headaches when they woke up. I am now looking for ingredients in the fridge when I got startled.

“What are you going to make?” I heard Jiyong asked from behind.

I turned around clutching my chest and saw him holding onto the tray. “Yah~~~ you scared the crap out of me…” I said.

He chuckled before he went to the sink and placed the tray there. “I’m sorry I scared you” he said.

“What are you doing here?” I asked while closing the door of the fridge.

He just shrugged, “I thought you might need a hand” he said calmly. “So… what are you going to make? He asked again.

“Oh… I-I… I’m planning to make a Haejangguk” I stuttered. Gahd! Why do I get nervous whenever he’s near? I don’t know if I’ll survive and be able to make the food without collapsing. Is it because of the coffee? Ahhh… I should lessen my caffeine intake from now on… or maybe I should let myself get checked by a doctor. I might have some sort of heart problem.

“You know how to make one?” he exclaimed, disbelief is written all over his face.

I scoffed with his question. ‘Do I look like I don’t know how to cook?’ I thought for a moment before answering him. “Yeah. Why?” I asked anticipating for his next reaction.

“Well… coz I know you had stayed overseas so… I didn’t think you’d know how to make one” he said in a low voice.

“You think I don’t know how to cook” I stated.

He set one foot forward while moving his hand side by side in a fast motion, “Aniyo… It’s not that… What I’m trying to say is that… I thought you’d only know how to make western foods… that’s… that is what I thought” he defended.

“Ah… Okay” I said and turned around from him to open the fridge once again and start to pick the ingredients out.

I asked him to help me carry some towards the sink and he oblige. I don’t know his intention on coming here in the kitchen and volunteer to help when he can just rest with TOP and watch the movie instead. But somehow, I got this small portion in me that was touched with his sweet acts. He has done nothing but be generous and kind enough for me this past few hours.

I was forced back to reality when he spoke. “So… what can I help you with?” he asked.

“It’s all good now. You can go back to the living room and stay with TOP. I can handle this on my own” I smiled sweetly.

“I don’t want to be the third party…” he faintly said but enough for me to hear.

‘Did I just hear him correctly? Third party? With whom? TOP and Bom?’ I asked myself silently then suddenly, like a bright bulb sparkled right before my eyes when I understood what he meant. I was about to say something but he beats me to it.

“Just let me help you with anything” Gahd! This guy is really persistent. No wonder he’s the leader of their group. He does what he wants and nobody could get in a way with it.

“Okay. You could help me wash this meat then after that, I want you to seat in the stool” I said and he just nodded.

I went to the cabinet and get all the condiments I’ll use and placed it all in the counter beside the stove while Jiyong is busily washing the meat and put it in a pressure cooker. It will somehow lessen the time for it to cook. Our eyes might turn white because of hunger if we’ll wait for two hours just to let it boil. When he was done, I got the pot from him and propped it above the stove.

I ushered him to the stool coz I know now that he will stubbornly refused if I asked him to go back to the living room. I let him peel the radish instead to make him busy which he gladly accepted. I could see that he’s having a hard time doing it and I can’t help but to smile when I saw him pouts as he turned his full attention in what he is doing. I find him very cute at this moment.

“Is there anything you want to eat aside from Haejangguk? Coz it might take awhile” I asked.

He looked up at me still pouting, his left hand gripping to the radish while his other hand held the peeler.  Oh my Gahd! He is so adorable right now I want to snap a picture of him!

“Hmmm… Anything would do” He said after awhile.

“Do you think Bibimbap would do?” I asked since I saw some ingredients in the fridge awhile ago then I saw his face brightened.

He smiled widely before answering, “That sounds pretty appetizing”

“Okay” I said and prepared to get the necessary ingredients.

I was busy putting the soybean sprouts in a pot when I heard him asked, “How did you end up living with Minho hyung?”

I got surprised with his question I almost drop the plate with soybean sprouts in the pan and I abruptly snapped my head to look at him, I saw that he is still focus on peeling.

“W-why? D-did he say something?” I nervously asked.

“Nothing much… He just explained to us that you lived together for a year before you went to New York” he nonchalantly said without tearing his eyes on the radish.

“And?” I continued on asking, anticipating on what more could that idiot best friend of mine could’ve further rattled. I got this impression that he revealed more. I was so scared that my body was slightly trembling, that they might know something about my past that I don’t even want to recall anymore.

He suddenly looked at me and for a second I thought I saw his eyes were saddened like he has thought of something that was remorseful but that immediately changed and his eyes were now unreadable, boring holes on me.

“H-he said…” he stopped and lowered his head for a moment before he sighed and looked back at me again. “He said that you went through some difficult times before he… he took you in his care”

“And?” I couldn’t hide the nervousness I’m feeling that my voice croaked.

 “That’s it… He didn’t tell us anything after that…” He softly said.

He might saw my expression changed and he might even saw that I was trembling that he immediately apologized.

“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to pry on your personal life… I-I just got curious and thought that I might ask you instead… but… If you don’t want to tell me it’s okay. I’m just… really sorry” his voice was so low and I could feel the sincerity in it but it is making me feel uncomfortable.

“Why?” I heard my voice asked in a hush tone. I didn’t intend to voice it out but I don’t know why he wants to get into the details of my past. Why does he look so concerned?

“I don’t know… Maybe I just want to get to know you a little more…” his facial expression was so soft that deep inside me felt comforted.

There are so many things that are going through my mind right now. Then my thought went to our current situation as of this moment. There’s a part of me that felt glad that he didn’t pry anymore but there is this awkward and eerie silence between us.

I turned around and ditch his plea and settled the soybean sprouts onto a platter when they were done and put the spinach into a boil. We went silent shortly after. I kept asking myself why… why does he care about me? My past? What are his intentions? I am currently having a mini battle with my mind, confused, scared and I felt uneasy. Why does he want from me? We barely know each other… We only met few weeks ago but why is he stirring up my emotions and my mind? Does he really want to get to know me? Is that really true?

I built myself over again for the past three years. I picked myself up and started anew in New York. I thought I was okay but now, being back in Korea and facing questions unto why I left made me realize that I was not that okay to begin with. I just let myself believe that I had gotten over the past, that the wounds in my heart were healed but I guess I was wrong. My heart maybe healed… but it completely left scars that I will always carry with me.

Then I remember something that Bom have told me before, when I arrived. She told me she’s glad that I’m starting to have new friends. Yeah… that’s right… new friends… they are my new friends and Jiyong was one of them. I met and made a few aside from what I had before I left. Bom was right in the beginning… I should stop worrying about the past and move forward but how can I do that if I will not allow myself to let these people get to know me? Maybe I should try and open a bit but… I am so freaking scared! Because of my openness, this is where it led me… me alone… alone with a scarred past.

I f I really wanted to move forward, maybe this is the best time for that. Time for a change. Face the truth as they say and I now understand why. I must learn to carry on with what life has to offer me from now on. I should start to cast myself outside the shadow of my past and try to take a step instead of taking a leap forward… even if it takes a long time. It would probably help me get the marks disappeared and completely healed me.

I can do this. Yes I can! With the help of the people around me, I know this time, I would be able to survive any hardships that I may have to face.

And as of this moment, maybe I can start opening myself up… starting with Jiyong.

Jiyong’s POV

Why? Why do I have to be so stupid and asked that question! Argh! Now she looks defeated. She might not speak to me ever again! I am mentally beating myself up with my stupidity. Why do I have to be crude every time? Now I remember Minho hyung’s last statement before he disappeared from the club.

-Flashback-

We were back to our usual selves and forced to forget everything Minho hyung have told us about Dara. We where now having a good time and laugh our asses off with Daesung’s re-enactment about how Youngbae got scared for sh*t in the dance floor when a girl s an arm then suddenly grind her body with his.

We were laughing so hard when Minho hyung entered.

“Hey boys, if you need anything just call for any assistance. I have to go in a few minutes and meet with Hyesun. She’s sick right now and I have to go and check on her” he half-yelled through the blasting sound from outside.

We just nodded in respond. That’s when he called for TOP and my attention.

“TOP, Jiyong… can I see you two for a minute in my office?” he said and left the door.

TOP and I looked at each other at the same time wearing the same confused look but we followed none the less.

When we buzzed in his office, he was sitting on his chair and ushered us to sit in front of him.

“Why do you want to see us?” TOP asked.

Minho hyung propped his elbows above his table and placed his chin above his clutched hands. He looked at the two of us wearing this serious expression. He sighed before he placed his hands down to rest at the table before he spoke, “Can you take the girls home later? I promised Dara that I will take them home but I really got to go to see my girl”

“Sure hyung… We’ll wait for them” I said in assurance although I got confused and for a moment I asked myse if that was all he has to say coz he already said that awhile ago.

“Anything else?” TOP asked.

“Yeah. The reason I called the two of you coz I saw how you two looked at Dara. I know what I have said shock all of you… My guts telling me that you two were the ones who really cared for her given a short amount of time since you met her.”

Me and TOP sat there in silence as we listened to him intently. I nodded at him to let him continue.

“As you all know, Dara is very special not only to me… I’m glad that she’s starting to meet new people… My point here is that I should warn you. Dara is a very fragile girl contrary to her wild and strong appearance. I know you’ll ask her about her past… I’m not stopping you to do so but… please… don’t go overboard. Let her speak for herself and wait for her to open up… don’t force her. I love her dearly that I don’t want her to hide herself any more. Since TOP is the oldest and you Jiyong is the leader, I believe I can trust you two to refrain the others from prying so much about her. Can I trust you two to do that?”

“You can very well trust us hyung. And… thank you for reminding us” I answered.

He stood up and grabbed his bag as he approached us and gave us a handshake. “Please take care of her. I can’t make time for her as I got my hands full so I’m giving you guys my blessing on taking my role” he said.

“Why? Are you her father now?” TOP joked to make the mood lighten.

We all laugh it out and hyung ushered us back to our room.

“Till then boys. Give me a call if anything goes wrong” he bid goodbye and left me and TOP rooted on our spot.

We looked at each other giving silent signals before we enter the room.

-End of Flashback-

Now Minho hyung would probably slit my neck and dumped me in Han River after this!

I was so lost in a moment from thinking on how could I get the mood lightens between us. I don’t want to end up making into the news with me floating in the middle of Han River! That’s not my idea of breaking into the media.

“I…” I thought I heard her speak.

I dropped the peeler that I’m holding and snapped my head towards her direction. Her back was facing me as she stirred into the pan producing sizzling sounds.

Am I hallucinating? Am I getting myself detached with my conscious state now that I’m hearing things? Oh Gahd! This is not good! First, I tried to picture myself getting dumped in the River and now, I am hearing things!

I was staring at her back while lost in my state of mind when she slowly turned her head and looked at me. I was startled for a second that I choked on air. Her face was so gloomy, showing despair. Before I could even identify other emotions she’s showing, she turned her focused back to her cooking.

“I tried to commit suicide…” her voice was so low that I almost missed everything she had said. She quickly glanced back at me then back to her stirring again.

I was so stunned I couldn’t find anything to say. ‘Is she trying to open up to me? Am I still hallucinating or is it for real?’ I pinch my cheeked and felt the sting. ‘Oh my Gahd! It is real! I am still sane! I am not going crazy! Woohooo!’ I was about to jump for joy when her statement played right inside my head.

What should I say? I might say something stupid again. But If I don’t give her a response, she might think that I don’t give a damn. Since I started this conversation might as well pretend not to know about her suicide attempt.

“Why?”

She turned off the stove and walked towards the counter. She pours herself another cup of coffee and sat across me. She didn’t even bother to look at me, “I had experienced something bad four years ago that I thought I couldn’t take it anymore… One time, while my appa took my umma out, I sneaked in to her room and grab her sleeping pills and drowned myself with all the contents of it… I woke up the day after in the hospital and saw Minho, Bom, my Aunt, Bom’s mom and appa all in the room. They were in a frantic mode when I woke up…” she smiled as she recalled but soon her smile faltered. “Minho took the responsibility to look after me after I was discharged while umma stayed with appa” she continued.

“I was so stupid at that time not bothering of what my loved ones would think. I became selfish and thought of myself only. Minho was so mad that he could beat me to a pulp but didn’t… he controlled himself from doing so since we’re still in the hospital but he eventually cried a river… so frustrated… angry… because of my stupidity. If given a choice at that time, I wished he could’ve just beat me up coz it kills me more seeing him cry like that. But that’s not all… I thought the world is closing in on me when I saw not only Minho but everyone else’s in the room cried. I thought I would die because of the pain… the burden of hurting the people I love…”

I couldn’t help but to grab and hold her hand. Letting her feel how sorry I am with what had happened. She looked at me with tears about to fall from her eyes. I didn’t know that my curiosity would bring me much pain. It’s like thousands of needles pricking my heart along with her. I know I should be glad that she’s trying to open up but I why can’t I be happy?

“But… If you don’t mind me asking, what is the cause for you to think of taking your own life?”

She sighed and hanged her head low again. “It all started when my umma became sick… Everything went hard for me since I depended on her my whole life… I never see myself without her… I’m so scared of losing her… then after a few months, I learned that my ex- boyfriend used me just to get the songs I made and made it their own… I felt so betrayed at that time… I thought he loved me… I thought I could lean on him in the darkest moment of my life… but it turns out, he was just using me… I felt defeated and weak because of my mom’s situation and he used that time to ploy and stole my worksheets…” She sobbed in between. Her tears were now flowing nonstop and my heart sank seeing her like this.

I want to beat the life out of that bastard who made Dara experienced every pain and sorrow she had encountered. From the time I got to know Dara for the past weeks, I could say that her life is all about music. She dedicated her life with passion. So, how could someone be as ing shallow and selfish and low to deceive a girl and stole her life from her? Now I understand why she sang before that she’s so lonely… she wouldn’t feel lonely now that she has us! I won’t let her experience the same misfortune she had dealt with in the past. I want to convey her that message but how can I?

She removed her hand from my hold and wiped her tears away. I pulled a roll of tissue besides me and gave it to her. She stopped from crying after awhile but continued to sniff. Her eyes went all puffy and red now.

“After his group made way to stardom, I claimed my rights to my songs… I’ve worked hard for that… All the songs I wrote where my life story… that was my life… There were also some which my umma and I wrote so I wanted to claim everything back. But his company sued me of defamation and accused me of being their stalker. They filed a restraining order for me to stay away from them so I wasn’t that successful on getting back what’s supposedly mine right from the beginning.” She continued trying not to cry.

It was ing unbelievable! They sued her and gave her a restraining order?! What the was that?! I was enraged by this new information. How could this petite girl go through with all this absurd things? But wait… did she said his group? Stardom? So it means he’s in the entertainment business?

“Did you just say that he is in a group? And that they had made to stardom?” I asked to clarify things and she nodded.

“So who is that ing bastard who has caused you all these chaos?” I asked furiously and she looked up at me with wide eyes.

“Hey… I am not going to apologize for calling your ex a bastard coz he really is”

“I know he is… I just got surprised… coz you swear…” She sniffed.

I chuckled at her answer. She got surprised because I swear… I thought she got surprised because I called her ex a ing bastard. For a moment there, I thought that she might have still feelings for him. Good thing that wasn’t the case though.

“So, who is he?” I can’t stop from being curious now.

“Jaejoong… JYJ’s Kim Jaejoong”

“What?!” My eyes popped out from its socket and flew over to the sink.

That bastard who crushed her world was the renowned Kim Jaejoong of JYJ?! That bastard! I even idolized that guy for making great songs and now that I have found out, it was all lies… that he was a fraud! And! What was most shocking is that Dara dated him! This girl right here is a chic-guy magnet!

“Wow! But how come that didn’t get into the news? The defamation case and all?”

“I don’t know. They were signed in a big company so I guess they tried to cover everything up”

“So did your parents know about that?” I asked.

“Yes… ” she muttered.

“How did they feel when they found out?”

“Appa hired me a lawyer that time but the case was dropped later on but the restraining order didn’t” She said.

“Good. But how come you’re living all by yourself? And I thought your father left you before you before you were born?” This girl right here has a complicated life! I am getting more confused as she is slowly revealing herself more to me.

“Yes that’s true. My biological father left me and I never met him. My umma… Well she is somewhere else since she is sick… so I can’t live with her .The one I’m calling my appa is my stepfather but he was never married to my mother. He has his own family now that’s why I can’t live with them either. My appa’s current wife, my step mom was actually the one who got this apartment for me.” She explained.

Wait! What? Her stepfather but not really married to her mother? That was so confusing! This girl… is she for real?! I thought my life was messed up but now, hearing her stories, I could say that she was so messed up than me. Is she telling me the truth?

I gave up! My head is starting to throb because of all the thinking. “You’re confusing me here…” I said, defeated.

She chuckled, “My life is in shambles. You don’t have to force yourself to understand… But thank you Jiyong”

I arched a brow, still confused. “For what?” I asked

She got up and said, “Let us call for TOP and invite him to eat”

We both got up and went to the living room with me still processing everything that she has said but still couldn’t figure out. I was still in dazed when she halted so I also stopped abruptly since I’m behind her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked when I saw her eyes widen and jaw dropped.

She didn’t answer instead she raised her arm and points somewhere. I followed to where she’s pointing and I gasped with what I saw.

There on the sofa was Bom snuggling to TOP while the latter rests his head with hers, hugging her at the same time.

I looked at Dara and so did she. Then our gazed went back to the couple looking so close and sweet that I suddenly felt jealous. ‘Wah~~~! TOP was really fast!’ I thought.

---

Dara runs back to her room and grab her camera. She went back to where Jiyong is and smiled evilly showing him the camera.

Jiyong on the other hand didn’t know her intention for her action but once Dara snapped a good few photos in different angle, he somehow understood and smirked. He pulled his phone from his pants’ side pocket and snapped a picture of the couple and saved it.

Jiyong went closer to wake TOP up and when the latter opened his eyes, he was hovered by the two grinning while their arms are crossed in their chests. He was not yet fully awake to understand what was going on and was about to go back to sleep.

His eyes snapped open with the sudden realization that he was not in his room. He shot the two a look and felt something lying on his chest. He lowered his gazed and flustered when he realized that he was hugging Bom. He slowly pulls himself away from Bom and followed the two in the dining room.

TOP felt like he couldn’t digest the food he was eating because the two kept on teasing him while they were eating. As soon as the two boys finished helping Dara with the dishes, they bid their goodbyes since the sun is starting to showed up and make their way home.

While they were on their way, Jiyong relayed the things Dara opened up to him to TOP. He also got surprised with the revelation most especially with regards to Kim Jaejoong’s part. He himself couldn’t believe that the man they used to look up to could do something horrendous like stealing songs from a girl. Jiyong made TOP to promise not to tell everyone yet. They decided to tell everything with the rest of the boys in due time. 

Jiyong went straight to his house after dropping TOP off and his mind drifted back to Dara. When he arrived home, he fished his phone out and dialed Dara’s number which he got before they left.

It took 4 rings before she answered.

“Did I wake you up?” The first thing Jiyong asked.

“Aniyo. I just finished making the girls their soup. Are you already at your house?”

“Yeah. I just called you to tell you I just arrived safely” Jiyong thought that it was good she was not around to see him blushed at that moment.

He heard her chuckled, “You should go and rest now”

“I was supposed to be the one saying that. You worked all night till dawn. You must be tired. I apologize for making you do all the cooking” he can’t help but to smile as he was feeling elated that he was having a conversation with her on the phone. It’s like they haven’t had enough. He wouldn’t mind if Dara would like to talk more. He could endure his sleepiness just to talk to her and hear her enchanting voice.

“Thank you Jiyong” she said which brought him back from his thoughts.

“Again, what’s with all the thank you?”

Dara smiled to herself, “Thanks for giving us a ride… and thanks for listening. It’s like I’ve been freed from the chain that was holding me up for ages… Thanks to you I’ve started to move on.”

She felt that the burden was lifted off from her shoulders. She could look ahead with a brighter side of things. She didn’t give it a thought that talking about her past would make her feel revived. She would’ve done it in the past if only she knew it would decrease the pain she’s carrying.

“It’s my pleasure that I was able to help. You can run up to me now… if you felt like running away”

“I’ll take that in mind…So, good morning Jiyong. Have a good sleep…”

He smiled, “Good morning to you too. And! Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

He will surely have a good sleep knowing that he was one step closer to Dara.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This chapter was a little bit sad than the previous chapters isn't it???

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