Irene

I thought, the moment I sort out my feelings for Seulgi, things will be better for me. I was wrong – the prince had to add up with my emotions. My relationship with the prince gradually improved, and I can tell his feelings for Seulgi is changing. He doesn't hate nor dislike her – it seems the like from his eyes, the favour, vanished. And I wasn't expecting, nor noticed, that the like and the favour were transferred to me. 

      "I am so sorry, Irene." The crown prince said. He is in my chambers, appearing out of the blue. My relationship with him improved like the ones in romance novels; However, this isn't the kind of progress I wanted – it only complicates things. "Irene, is it wrong for me to start loving you after all this time?" 

      Why now?!

      "Crown prince—" 

      The prince pulled me close to him – locking me between his arms. "I am sorry. I hated you—thinking you were the same from the rest of the nobles. I was wrong. Irene, please forgive me. I closed my heart because I thought you are only using me for the sake of the Bae Dukedom. I admit I am a coward. However, because of Seulgi... I finally saw what she saw in you." He said, "I am beginning to love you, Irene. Will you allow me to have these feelings for you?" 

      The prince gave me the time to think about my answer to his confession. I... am not in love with Suho. I am unfair for saying this but I need him to become empress. Wait... if I am in love with Seulgi, I don't need to become empress. It's unfair for Suho. However, my father (the duke) is an obstacle. He is a hard opponent, and I need the power of my faction to support me if I am going to fight the head of the household and the leader of the noble faction.

      I need to find a way to overthrow my father, or at least stop him from doing the unthinkable.

      The second stage of the Regina Selection ended. As expected, Seulgi won. Now, the third stage is all what is left. Only then I felt the sense of panic. Between me and Seulgi, only one can become Regina. If I win, Seulgi will have to leave the palace. Though there is a chance she can be a consort, she doesn't want to be a one nor even stay in the palace any longer – she will go back to her family. 

      I am in a dilemma. I am torn between two choices: become Regina or Seulgi. If I choose Seulgi, how sure am I that she feels the same way? I cannot even tell her what I feel, nor tell if she is alright with me loving her more than just a friend. I am scared she will push me away. My friendship, our friendship, is the most important thing I have – I don't want to ruin it. Other than that, my father won't be pleased or even accept that his daughter is in love with a woman. If I choose to become Regina, it will bring great honour to my family and please my father; however, it will mean I can no longer be with Seulgi, and I will be married to Suho. I will lose someone who meant so much to me, and I have to wed with someone I am not in love with. It will be unfair to the crown prince who holds affection for me. 

      I should be satisfied with my friendship with Seulgi but my selfish heart yearns for more. 

      I ended up overhearing Seulgi and the crown prince when I came to visit the garden. I wasn't expecting the two to visit, and I should have left when I saw them instead of staying. I found out Seulgi wanted to quit as a candidate. It enraged me to the point I stopped talking with Seulgi. 

      "What am really I angry about?" I asked myself. "Am I angry because she is quitting? Or, I am angry because of something else?" I can no longer understand myself. I cannot help but feel angry – and I don't know why I am angry. Maybe this is not rage, maybe it is disapp