IMPORTANT NOTICE BEFORE READING THE CHAPTER: Crowdfund subscribers, please stop using my "Trash Tier" Crowdfund button FOR NOW since I'm having issues with it. The Auhtor's Choice tier is still up and running though. Please direct to my Ko-fi instead and I'll manually add you to the tiers. NOTE: Please direct to "Membership" to access the tiers and its benefits. If you don't have paypal, Ko-Fi allows card unlike AFF which is solely for Paypal.

I'm having issues with the Trash Tier button here in AFF and your hard-earned money might go to someone else's profile instead of mine; thus, not allowing you to read member's only chapters. I contacted the site owner "Nicheren" about the issue and waiting for a response. Now on with the story:

Irene

She’s not here. Seulgi is not here. I kept looking around – hoping to see Seulgi emerge from the corners of my room, or at least from my door but I knew that would no longer be possible. The saint made it clear that she would only stay by my side until my wedding, and now the day is here – a wedding to be remembered by many.

    A wedding I will forever be bound to.

    With hopelessness, I held the ribbon close to me – not wanting to let it go, not wanting to let Seulgi go. Anxiety, fear, and longing filled my heart to the point it overflowed alongside with tears pouring out of my eyes, and my heart breaking. 

    Oh God above, please let there be divine intervention. I pleaded hopelessly. I am aware that no human can change what God has written for us, but just this once, I pray god hears my desperate plea. I beg you. I never asked you for anything, please… 

    I have faith in our god, but as time passes by with my prayers unanswered, the little faith I have depletes. I never asked god for anything about me: no help during my childhood, no prayer asking to assist me in striving to be the person I am now – none. My prayers all lead to the foundation and prosperity of the empire, the protection of the empire from dangers both in and out, and I never, not once, asked our god for anything that I solely wanted – not until I met Seulgi. For once, I asked god something – someone – that I wished to have and treasure.

    “Your Highness,” a maid entered my room after knocking, “I greet the future moon of the empire. It’s time for us to get ready.”

    I took a deep breath, “Okay,” was the only thing I could mutter.

    I hid the pain and the longing as I got ready for the imperial wedding – the wedding that would keep the Southern Empire strong. I tried to smile and act like I was excited about my wedding to avoid scandals, but deep inside I felt miserable. I don’t love Suho and I don’t want to marry him. My whole being yearns for Kang Seulgi and Seulgi alone. Marrying Suho is a sin that I will forever carry until the day of my death – marrying an emperor that I don’t love, vowing loyalty and honesty in front of God when I have hidden desires that don’t match with the vows. Desires that are seen as taboo, a mistake, a sin.

    Everyone is excited for me, but I am not. I can tell Suho that I don’t want to marry him and that I am in love with Seulgi. Knowing him, he would be surprised and hurt, but he will let me go – that’s how kind he is, and I am taking advantage of that. However, Seulgi… Yeri… I have nothing to return to. My father knows I am in love with Seulgi so taking me back in as the heir of the Bae Duchy will gain nothing as I cannot marry a man to continue our lineage. 

    Maybe I should just become a nun, I thought. However, I made a promise to serve the people. I can’t run away now.

    I hold promises dear, so I must serve the empire. I should stop thinking unnecessary things - even though it's hurting my heart. 

    Since the moment I woke up, I haven’t seen Seulgi. I asked the servants if they saw the saint but they all said the same thing: The saint is with the saint of the East.

    Last night’s story was something I will forever treasure. The sweet, gentle shrieks from Seulgi; the tempting and desperate mien; the taste of and deep entrances, all of this... I will forever remember. It was my first time - our first time - and it was magical. Like we were made for each other, Seulgi knows where to touch, where to taste me, and what words to whisper. How I wish it could last forever but mortals don't have the power to control time nor destiny.

    "Your Highness," one of my attendants spoke while she was fixing my corset, "you have a bug bite on your nape."

    I immediately asked for a mirror so I could see, and there it was - the irresistible urge of Seulgi printing her touch on me: a kiss signifying her moment with me.

    "Leave it as is," I said. "Do mention it to the emperor. I don't want him to feel repulsed with the idea of a bite during our honeymoon. Please conceal it as much as if it's no longer there."

    "You don't want to cure it, your highness?"

    "No need, it's only a bite—it will fade away, naturally."

    The wedding commenced with me feeling guilty. The guilt of last night's event is eating up my consciousness. As I went out of the carriage, seeing the gigantic pillars of the church and the white petals hovering around the area with the people, my stomach churned. I want to puke - I want to run away. But I can't show such emotions - I should only smile and wave.

   The ceremony began and the doors of the church opened - revealing myself. I saw my future husband standing in front of the altar beside the pope, his majesty (the emperor) standing on the left with my family. I marched towards them - children before me throwing petals side my side.

    I searched for Seulgi as I walked, but the veil on my face prevented me from seeing the people around me.

     It didn’t take long for me to reach Suho. We did all the traditional steps before facing the priest. Holy Priest blessed us before allowing us to state our vows. I can feel Suho’s sincerity while expressing his loyalty and respect to me