Irene

Our days after that incident remained the same – as if it never happened at all. Seulgi didn't even mention what happened, nor did I. I am such a fool for running away. I should apologize for it. Seulgi is being meticulous around me since then. I understand – she is trying to draw a line between us. We are in the palace, and if I act rashly like last time, everyone will find out. 

     I have two more weeks left before the wedding. We are almost done with the preparations – all that's left is to inform my family about it. So, I will be returning to the Bae estate. I haven't seen my family since my coronation – I didn't even receive a letter or two from them. I presumed it is because of my father. 

     When I arrive, my father wasn't there. Mother said that he left for a business trip three days prior and will return in a few more days. I cannot return to the palace until I received official consent from my father. I won't be able to get married without the head of the family's mark. 

     I wish that father will delay his return. I only have two weeks left before the wedding. I am not ready.

     So little time. I want to delay the wedding more. Is there no other way for me to become empress aside from marrying the crown prince? I don't want to marry him. I cannot marry Suho. He is not Seulgi – he isn't the one I love. If others can stand with political marriage, I can't when I finally find someone I can love. 

     My mother and my siblings didn't mention Seulgi during my stay – respecting my affection for her. I thought they will assume I no longer love her, but I was wrong. Is it that obvious? Is my love for Seulgi that evident?

     God must be giving me His punishment. Father returned the day after I arrived. 

     "You're here..." Father spoke, seeing me by the door. 

     I curtseyed, "Father, I am home." 

     Father knew the purpose of my return. Usually, in matters like this, he would give his consent without any delay. Surprisingly, he didn't. Instead of attending to the matter, father excused himself to rest. At first, I thought the matters of the duchy were more important – but I am skeptical about his frequent excuses every time I ask for his mark. I cannot conclude answers as to why he is delaying this matter – though a part of me is saying that father plans to delay the marriage for my sake. It is not impossible, rather, it would be surprising. 

     The delay of the consent lead to a week, and the palace sent a notice about it. With that being said, father finally summoned me. 

     "Greetings, your grace." I greeted. I sat on the chair after receiving permission. Father and I are in the gazebo – tea and sweets on the table. It is rare for him to leave his office – or even spend outside to have tea. 

     "How is your life in the palace?" He asked, drinking his coffee. "We haven't received any letter from you." 

     "Forgive me, father. The prince and I were preoccupied with imperial concerns and the wedding. I will remember to write often." 

     "It is fine—you can send us letters any time. You don't have to force yourself. We... thought about sending letters as well but your mother insisted to give you time and not bother you." 

     Father can just place his mark on the official consent and send it to the church, but he bothered to summon me in the garden. If he wanted to talk with me, he could have just asked. As for that matter, I may or may not receive a lecture from him today. 

     "Do you still love her?" His question surprised me. "The saintess—do you still love her?" 

     I lowered my head, assuming another banter with the head of the house. I answered, "Yes... father. I still do..." 

     Another silence followed. I anticipated this kind of talk will happen soon, yet I still couldn't help but feel nervous. 

     "You are my daughter—my firstborn. The heir of the Bae Dukedom." Father placed his cup back on the table. "The moment you were born I decided that you are going to be empress. I held that belief dear—doing everything to give you nothing but the best so that the people will only think that you are the only empress meant for the crown prince. This ambition... instead of bringing happiness to my daughter, it brought her anguish. You carried the responsibility that was decided by me (not yours) and it caused you to lose your right to choose. So, I humbly apologize, Irene." 

     I faced my father – his sincere apology is clear on his face. 

     He added, "I was wrong. A father allowing his daughter set her happiness aside is a failure as a parent. My ambition broke you. I hope you can forgive me. Believe me when I tell you that I am proud of you. It seems that I was unsuccessful in delivering my appreciation. Forgive me for lacking." 

     "You did what you thought is best for me, father," I replied. 

     "I won't sign the consent if you don't want me to. If you will wed the prince but still have the saint in your heart, it will only bring you both destruction. This time, I will do what you want. I will be honest with you, I am still confused with this new kind of relationship (this kind of love) and it might take me a long time to fully understand, but if you love Seulgi and this love brings you happiness, I shall accept that. I accept that my daughter is in love with a woman. This isn't about Seulgi's new title or position, Irene. I've seen how you look at that woman—the same look when I fell in love with you mother." Father chuckled, reminiscing a memory in his mind. "Truly, you are my daughter. The day you gave the threat? That was the first time you stood up against me and expressed your opinion. I've seen the fire in your eyes—the desperation, anxiety, and fear to protect Seulgi. Your passion to protect her moved me. There I knew, my daughter loves this woman that she will risk and stand up against her foolish father." 

     I smiled faintly. "Thank you,"

     The smile on my father's face disappeared. "That night, the night where you broke down in front of me, my heart shattered into pieces." My father clenched the surface off his chest, as i trying to ease the pain in his heart as he replays the moment. "The reason why I don't want to see my children show any sign offf weakness is because I know what it fffeels like, I know how tormenting it is to be helpless—not realizing that I sh