Seulgi

The prince and my family found out about my blessing and gift. Even they don't know what to react. His highness cares for me despite not being able to reciprocate his feelings – maybe it is out of compassion instead of love. 

      The third stage is finally over. To everyone's surprise, the crown prince chose Irene instead of me. The imperial court followed. Then it was decided that Irene will become Regina – the future empress of the empire. The crowning, however, was immediately moved when his majesty managed to regain his consciousness. To ensure the emperor's health and in order to avoid any restraint, the crowning was move three days ahead. 

      His majesty found out about the outcome of the evaluation. Knowing about my infertility, his majesty wanted me to spend time with him by the garden. There, I listened to his stories about him and the late empress. I don't know if he decided to meet me to make me feel better, or he just feel like having someone to stay beside him. 

      Evening came. I cannot fall asleep. Somehow, I feel restless. I ended up coming to the imperial garden alone – only to be accompanied by the rustling of leaves and the cold breeze of the night. If the prince or one of the attendants will see me walking here barefoot and only in my nightgown, they will end up giving me a scolding. 

      I sat on the bench. It's cold and I my body is shivering, but the cold breeze felt nothing to me. Did I, at some point, turned numb? 

      I don't know why I chose the garden. Maybe because not everyone goes here, and maybe because I find the silence of the night more alluring in this area, or maybe because I knew this will be the last time I can set foot on this place? 

      I heard a rustling from my right. I turned my head and I saw Irene – in her nightgown, a shoal on her arms. The moon shone directly at her – like a scene that came out of a novel – causing her to shine. 

      How blinding. Like a star.

      I gave Irene a faint smile, "Good evening, your highness." 

      "What are you doing here, Seulgi?" She asked. She noticed my feet and my trembling shoulders. She hastily approached me, covering my shoulders with her shoal, "What are you thinking?! It's cold outside! You're not even wearing something for your feet!" 

      I grabbed the ends of the should to keep them intact. "Why are you here, your highness?" I asked, instead of minding her questions. 

      Irene answered, "I... couldn't sleep. I assume you as well." 

      "Yes, your highness." 

      "You need to go back inside, Seulgi. You're cold as ice." She grabbed my hand, "Let's g—" 

      I didn't move. I just stared at the hand she is holding on – thinking: Is it really my hand she is holding? This warmth is coming from her, correct? How long will she hold my hand like this? What would it feel like if she will release my hand? I want her to keep holding me like this – I don't want to let go. 

      "Seulgi?" 

      I spoke, "Your highness, I should have said this before but..." I took a deep breath before continuing with a smile – meeting her eyes, "Congratulations on becoming Regina." A smile of defeat, of letting go. That's the smile I gave her, and she doesn't know. 

      This unreciprocated love will remain in my heart. I have to let your