[5:43 pm, Friday] Win❤: hope you feel better karina. Nandito lang naman ako kung kailangan mo ng kausap. Or kung ready ka na makikinig naman ako. Kung may nagawa man ako, I want to say sorry kung ano man yun. Pahinga ka na lang muna kasi malayo pa ang biyahe niyo bukas. Mag-ingat kayo

[5:44 pm, Friday] Win❤: mamimiss kita 

[5:44 pm, Friday] Win❤: see you na lang pagbalik mo? Magkikita pa naman tayo diba?

[5:45 pm, Friday] Win❤: enjoy your trip! 

I felt bad.

 

Right away after reading Winter’s text, guilt washed all over me. Nag Sorry pa siya even though wala naman siyang ginawa. 

 

Ang sama ko for making her feel that way. 

 

I was being unfair to her. I didn’t give her any explanation kung bakit ako naging cold. She deserved to know what was going on with me. 

 

It’s not her at all, it’s me.

 

That’s so cliche pero totoo. 

 

I was jealous. And my inability to voice out yung mga nararamdaman ko hurt her. 

 

I hurt her. 

 

Nakita ko naman how she looked so dejected when I cancelled our date. Hindi ko nga siya matingnan ng maayos otherwise I’d just fall apart. It almost broke me when she kept asking if siya yung problema.

 

I wanted to tell her no.

 

Pero I was too overwhelmed and clouded by jealousy that I couldn’t. Baka may masabi akong mali. I didn’t want that to happen. I was better off thinking things through myself than discussing na wala ako sa wisyo. Kasi alam ko the issue will get bigger if I force myself to open up.

 

It’s already hard for me to be vocal. 

 

But reading Winter’s text…I knew I couldn’t let her think like that. It felt so wrong na aalis ako when she was all confused. Especially when she thought it was her fault. And it would be harder if I don’t fix this before leaving. 

 

It didn’t feel right. And it wasn’t fair for her. She needed to know. 

 

Without even finishing packing up, I went downstairs para kausapin sila Mommy. Hindi na lang ako sasabay sa kanila papuntang Baguio. We were all supposed to leave at 5am. Pero parang hindi ko kaya yun when I have to make things right with Winter first.

 

I needed time. 

 

At first hindi pumayag si Mommy na ako lang mag drive mag-isa to Baguio kasi I haven’t done that before. But I told her that Yuyu would be with me kahit hindi ko pa siya natanong. I’m sure Yuyu would be okay with it. 

 

Mommy was still hard pressed about it.

 

Pero si Ate Marie nag volunteer na sasamahan daw niya ako sa biyahe para hindi kami mawala. She knew the way better. Plus, they trust Ate Marie naman. 

 

Mommy finally agreed and it felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. My chest also felt lighter. Napayakap ako kay Ate Marie sa tuwa. 

 

“Thank you, Ate.” 

 

“Mukha ka na kasing maiiyak kanina eh. Mukhang malaki ang problema mo, Karing. Yung ka-MU mo ba?” There’s a hint of tukso sa boses ni Ate Marie. Alam na niya how I am so I just nodded at her, nahihiya. 

 

I’m way too easy to read. Ate Marie always teases me kapag kausap ko si Winter so I wasn’t surprised that she already knew. Usually kasi I’d linger around the dining area para matext si Winter that I got home pero I went straight to my room this time. 

 

She looked at me knowingly. “Kanina ka pa kasi nakasimangot pagdating mo. Ang weird lang, Karing.” Tumawa siya. “Galingan mo.” She winked at me. I blushed before running away to my room.

 

Tinawagan ko kaagad si Yuyu and explained to her that kailangan siyang sumabay sa akin papuntang Baguio. Hindi na siya nagtanong and immediately went to my house dala yung duffel bag niya. 

 

“Akala ko may date kayo?” Yuyu asked as soon as she walked in. “Is it because yung kanina? Napansin ko hindi ka okay Yuyu.” 

 

I already had a feeling na may alam na si Yuyu because of how she looked at me kanina. It’s as if she read my mind. Hindi ko na lang muna siya sinagot and instead opened my drawer where I stashed Winter’s candy. 

 

“Yuyu, anong ginawa mo kay Winter?” See, she just knows everything. I could feel Yuyu watching me from behind as I put the candies in a box. “Inaway mo ba si Winter? Ang dami naman niyan.” 

 

I looked at her guiltily. “Uhm, kind of?” 

 

“It’s either may sinabi kang mali or nag cold shoulder ka. So alin dun?” 

 

I bit my lip looking away. “I didn’t say anything,” I whispered. 

 

“So you gave her the cold shoulder tapos naguilty ka? Alam mo Yuyu, sa akin lang yan nagwowork yan pagiging cold mo eh. Kasi pareho tayo ayaw magsalita kapag galit.” 

 

“I wasn’t mad at her.” Tinapos ko na ang pag pack ng candies. “I was…jealous.” 

 

Napatawa naman si Yuyu sa akin. I only glared at her. “Si Taehyun pa rin ba? Ang selosa mo kahit kailan.” 

 

“Shut up,” I hissed at her. “I have to go.” 

 

“Good luck na lang, Yuyu. Galingan mo! Dito ako matutulog ha?” 

I quickly drove to Winter’s house. Sa pagmamadali ko, I didn’t realize na nakapambahay pa rin ako - shorts and an oversized tee. 

 

It was almost 7pm na rin when I got to her house. I texted Winter. I called her pero hindi siya sumasagot.

 

I got worried na baka ayaw pa niya akong kausapin.

 

But I didn’t want to give up so easily. 

 

So, I waited.

 

And then I texted and called her again.

 

Lumabas na lang ako sa kotse and stood in front of their gate. I contemplated if I should ring their doorbell. Hindi ko nga naisip na maybe her whole family was home and nakakahiya lang to ask for Winter when it’s late na. 

 

Nakatayo lang ako in front of their gate feeling hopeless na. It’s been an hour and still nothing from Winter.

 

I was starting to think na ayaw niya akong makita.

 

But Winter’s text showed no hostility naman. That’s what also urged me to talk to her. 

 

Nagulat na lang ako when a smaller version of Winter showed up beside me asking me kung sino ako.

 

Panic.

 

I started panicking. 

 

By the looks of it, she looked like Winter’s Ate. Magkamukha sila. Hindi ko inexpect na mameet ko siya this way. Nakakahiya. Ang pangit naman ng first impression niya sa akin. 

 

I stuttered my words trying to explain why I was there. Pinapasok lang niya ako. Nahihiya pa akong pumasok but she pulled me inside anyway. 

 

She talked to me a bit too. She introduced herself sa akin — Ate Taeyeon. I thought she would ask me questions I couldn’t answer but she didn’t pry. Ang gentle pa niya makipag-usap sa akin. 

 

When Winter finally came down, kinabahan ako ulit.

 

She looked like she just woke up. 

 

I willed myself to ask her if we could talk sa labas. 

 

We were awkward. I was too quiet. I didn’t know how to start until Winter opened .

 

One look lang from her and I immediately put down all my defences and apologized.

 

We cried. Me more than her.

 

We made up.

 

Nag linger pa rin yung guilt sa katawan ko after we talked. Kahit na sabi niya okay na ang lahat, I still felt a little guilty about it. 

 

Even after nag drive thru kami, I wanted to do something more for her. I wanted to assure her na my feelings for her are sincere. I didn’t want her to think na hindi ako sure sa kanya.

 

Because I know I’ve never been more sure about her. 

 

“Can I…can I call you later?” I asked when I dropped her off sa house nila. 

 

Napakunot siya ng noo and looked at the dashboard for the time. “Diba mag-pack ka pa? Late na. May time ka pa ba? Hindi ka ba pagod?” 

 

I shook my head. “I can multitask.” 

 

“Sure ka?” She sounded unconvinced pa rin. 

 

“Yes. I still want to talk to you and uh, make up for…you know.” 

 

“Okay,” she smiled. “Ingat ka sa pag-uwi. Tawagan mo ako ha?” 

 

“I will.” 

I called Winter as soon as I got home. Pinaalis ko muna si Yuyu sa kwarto ko and told her to hang out at Ate Irene’s room since wala siya. Yuna was also here. Sumunod daw siya kay Yuyu when I left earlier. Apparently, nagtampo siya that she’s going to be stuck with the oldies for the Baguio trip instead of coming with us. 

 

“Hi,” I smiled when I saw Winter’s face pop up on my screen. I asked if we could video call since I wanted to see her face. 

 

“Hello.” Nakaupo si Winter in what looks like her computer chair. Maaliwalas na ang mukha niya, hair tied up in a ponytail. She looked like Agnes from Despicable Me. Ang cute lang. “Nagpapack ka na?” 

 

“Yeah, I’m almost done.” I leaned my phone against the foot of the bed while I sat on the floor, packing. “Are you ready for bed?” 

 

Tumango siya and panned her camera from her face to the length of her body, showing me her pjs. “Cute pjs,” I smirked. Nakasuot kasi ng pink pjs na may cupcakes. Agad naman siya nag peace sign and nagpacute sa camera.

 

My gosh.

 

If only I could reach out and pinch her cheeks. She’s way too cute. 

 

I’m going to miss her face. 

 

Madali akong natapos magpack. I only had a little bit to do left. 

 

I excused myself para mag wash up. Pagbalik ko, I saw Winter was already in her bed, nakakumot. Her lights are off na rin and only her bedside lamp was on. 

 

“Inaantok ka na? Do you wanna sleep na?” Winter’s eyes looked heavy na and I could tell she was trying hard to stay awake. It was almost midnight na rin. But she only shook her head and buried