This time, I was so sure that Winter was avoiding me. It was evident during dinner with Giselle and Soobin – how her eyes couldn’t meet mine, how she couldn’t even utter a single word to me.

The whole night, binigyan lang niya ako ng cold shoulder. 

At first natuwa pa ako that she’d be at dinner because I hadn’t been able to talk to her but she came and she was as cold as her name.

It was awful. It felt so awful. 

Because she was smiling when she entered the place but her face dropped as soon as she saw me. 

And I thought to myself, anong ginawa ko? 

And I tried to get her attention pero she was so hard to break. Pati si Giselle nagtataka why Winter was acting that way kasi just a few days ago, she was okay with us…she was okay with me.

I even told Giselle how the last day of the bet ended. It was good. We had a good time. Pinagtaasan lang ako ng kilay ni Giselle as if asking me what’s going on? I could only shrug and shake my head. 

Wala akong alam. 

When she suddenly left, nawalan na ako ng gana kumain. 

Soobin only looked at me apologetically and I hated it. Because the way he looked at me only made me feel even sadder about it. Ayoko sanang bigyan ng attention because that would make it worse. I could already feel a lump forming in my throat. 

“Sorry,” Soobin looked at Giselle and then at me. “Sorry, Karina. Hindi ko alam bakit yun ginawa ni Winter.” 

I shook my head. “You don’t have to, Soobin. Hindi naman ikaw yung biglang umiiwas.” I smiled bitterly and tried eating again.

Pero hindi ako mapakali. “Does…does she have a problem with me?” I asked, playing with my food. “May nagawa ba ako sa kanya? Kasi this is not the first time she’s done this. And this time, it’s pretty obvious na ako yung iniiwasan niya.”

Tiningnan lang niya ako. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin but couldn’t. So, he only sighed and shook his head. 

“Hindi ko alam.”

I nodded. Giselle rounded the table and sat beside me when she saw me staring at my half-eaten food. Nawalan na ako ng gana ng tuluyan. 

“You okay, KK?” She asked worriedly. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get over it.” 

The night had become sombre. Alam ko Giselle and Soobin were planning to break the news kay Winter over dinner. Dapat pala hindi na ako pumunta. Had I known na ganito mangyayari, I should’ve declined their invitation to join. 

It was supposed to be a happy occasion but somehow ended up a bit depressing dahil sa pagpunta ko. 

My phone rang. Tapos na daw si mommy sa errands niya and wanted to get picked up. It was a relief to say the least. I couldn’t bear to be in the restaurant. The mood was too heavy and Giselle was just sitting beside me worrying instead of enjoying her dinner with Soobin. 

“I have to go,” I grabbed my bag. “I know you were supposed to tell Winter about you guys. I’m sorry nangyari to.”

“KK, don’t be! You didn’t do anything.” Giselle hugged me. “Text me when you get home, okay?” 

“I will. Anyway, congrats you guys.” I smiled. “I’ll see you at school, Gi. Bye Soobin.” 

***

Five days. 

That’s how long I’ve been bumping into Winter and her actively avoiding me. 

I wanted to talk to her, of course. I just had some questions. Pero everytime na makikita ko siya, aalis siya. Or kapag nasa isang lugar lang kami, she always has some excuse para umalis. 

Like nung time na nagpasama ako kay Hyunjin para magpaphotocopy sa CJ’s. We saw Winter and Ning hanging around while waiting for their stuff. Nakita naman ako ni Ate Pinky pagkapasok namin kaya tinawag niya ako. 

“Karina ganda!” Ate Pinky called me. And I could see Winter’s back tense the moment she heard my name. “Halika dito. Ako na bahala sayo.”

We made a beeline towards Ate Pinky. Winter whispered something kay Ning before siya nagmamadaling umalis. She didn’t even acknowledge us or look behind her to just see us coming. Umalis lang siya. 

Hyunjin, who knew nothing of the situation, asked Ning about Winter. “Saan pupunta si Winter?” 

“Ah, hi Kuya Kambal. Hi Karina.” Ning was looking at us back and forth. I could tell na naghahanap siya ng reason for Winter. Pero I didn’t expect her to come up with that excuse. “Ah, kasi…si Winter…may LBM! Oo, may LBM si Winter Kuya.” She chuckled nervously. 

Tumawa lang si Hyunjin but I was a bit concerned lang. That’s how much she didn’t want to see me? At the same time, gusto ko siyang tanungin kung okay lang siya. 

We fell into an awkward silence after. Naghihintay pa rin si Ning sa stuff niya and I could tell she was getting restless kasi she was tapping her foot repeatedly. Until she looked at her phone and picked up a call even though I noticed na hindi naman nag light up phone niya.

“Winter!” Sigaw niya. “Ahh, kailangan mo ng tissue? Sige pupunta na ako.” 

Tawang-tawa ulit si Hyunjin. I was also trying to stop myself from laughing. Kahit na upsetting yung nangyayari, nakakatawa lang kasi yung ginagawa ni Ning for Winter. 

“Sige go na Ning,” Hyunjing chuckled. “Ako na lang maghatid ng papers niyo sa room niyo.” 

“Salamat, Kuya kambal. Tawag ng kalikasan kasi si bestfriend eh.”

And mabilis na siyang umalis.

After that, I had already expected that Winter would continue avoiding me. What I didn’t expect, however, was for her to help me.

I was walking towards the comp lab and Winter’s locker was near the room so I wasn’t surprised when I saw her sa may locker niya.

Nag daydream pa ako na papansinin niya ako ulit like that last time I passed by her locker but she merely averted her eyes when I tried catching hers. Yumuko na lang ako when I passed by her locker and dumiretso sa comp lab.

I was supposed to get my thesis proposal printed so I can submit it to my prof pero hindi ko mahanap yung USB ko that had all my research. I usually separate my files so it’s easier for me to organize. Luckily, my actual thesis paper was on another USB. Pero kinaliangan ko yung research files ko to support my proposal. 

And I had finished it all last week para hindi ako mag panic. 

But I was panicking. 

I had to submit it in an hour. Hinalungkat ko yung buong bag ko but I couldn’t find it so I quickly texted everyone if they’d seen a milk tea USB. One by one, dumating sila Yuyu, Lia, and Giselle sa comp lab trying to help me look for my USB. Pati na rin si Chaeryeong and Ning dumating looking worried. I was surprised to see Winter follow after Ning.

Pero I was too preoccupied to even care na nandoon siya. So I just asked Yuyu if she looked in the car. 

“Wala sa car, Yuyu,” she said worriedly. 

“,” I hissed under my breath. I was too distressed sa nangyayari to even be bothered when Winter suddenly left. 

Everyone else left shortly after saying that they would look for it sa library or sa cafeteria or sa mga rooms where I’d been in last. I was pacing back and forth in front of Kuyang nagp-print. Pati yata siya nastress sa akin. 

I just couldn’t not submit it. And wala na rin akong time to compile all the research I did. I should’ve backed it up. Always have back up. 

I had a little over 20 minutes left and wala na akong magawa. Gusto ko na lang umiyak. 

And then Ning’s orgmate came out of nowhere handing me the familiar milk tea USB. I think his name was Jeongin?

“Where did you get this?” Inabot ko yung USB. I was confused and grateful at the same time. 

“Ah, si Winter binigay niya sa akin. Sabi niya nakita daw niya sa car niya tapos ibigay ko daw sayo.” 

I didn’t know how to feel at that time. There were too many things running through my head and to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to hug Winter and thank her. At the same time, I was just conflicted sa mga nangyayari sa aming dalawa. 

Why couldn’t she give this to me? Was that how much she didn’t want to see me lang? 

“Okay thanks,” I whispered to him before ko binigay kay Kuya yung USB. I asked him to check if the files are there and thankfully, nandun lahat at hindi corrupted. I could not afford another corrupt file. 

Kuya quickly printed the rest of my thesis proposal and nagmadali akong pumasok for my class. 

Hindi ko na lang inisip muna si Winter because I didn’t want to get distracted. I could deal with it later…text her my thanks. 

Luckily for me, my prof didn’t have a lot of bad things to say about my thesis proposal. Just a few things to fix lang para mas solid daw ang argument ko. He also praised my thorough research kasi got to the bottom of it daw. 

I was finally able to breathe. I really had to go through all of that first. 

Pagkalabas ko sa room, I immediately texted Winter. I didn’t expect her to reply to me. I didn’t even expect her to read my message. All I wanted to do was relay my thanks to her. Kasi kahit na iniiwasan niya ako, tinulungan niya pa rin ako.

I would’ve failed if not for her. 

After that whole incident though, I had made it my mission to actually talk to Winter. Kasi hindi na ako mapakali. I was just so confused about everything. 

First of all, I wanted to know why? Kasi before niya ako iniiwasan, akala ko friends kami. 

We had fun during our last day. Yuna even invited her to her birthday which was on Saturday na. I doubt she will show up now. With the way she has been acting around me, I don’t think she would go to a party na nandoon ako.

I also haven’t told Yuyu about this whole thing. Ayaw ko kasi na maging awkward sila dahil sa akin. They’re friends and blockmates pa so they’d be seeing each other more than me. I also don’t want Yuyu to stop being friends with Winter just because of me. Because in the end, Yuyu might lose Ning and Chaeryeong too. Just when she has friends her age. 

So, I’ve been keeping it to myself for now. Giselle’s the only one who knows. And I asked her not to say anything. I didn’t want any drama or tension between us.

I’d be okay with Winter avoiding me than having the whole group in such an awkward situation. I know that eventually it’ll blow over, pero I at least want to get answers from Winter first. If I can’t, then I can’t.

I’d get over it. Like I always do. 

It felt like deja vu when I saw Winter struggling to get a book on one of the shelves at the library. Nag tip-toe na siya pero hindi pa rin niya abot. She just sighed in frustration and pouted.

I miss her. Seeing her all annoyed reminded me of the