twenty-two
Letting You Go
Yeonhee
Today is the day, D-day. I woke up early to pack my stuff then I started to feel nervous. Will everything go well? Will I get through this?
I lied to everyone that I'm going to Jeju. To Sehun, his parents, Yunho oppa, Jongin and Seulgi, I told them I have an exhibition in Jeju. But to my colleagues, I told them I'm going to Jeju for a vacation. The only one who knows about the surgery is Namjoon oppa and I prefer it that way.
Last night, on our way back home, Sehun and I had a little bit of argument in the car. He keeps on suspecting my relationship with Namjoon. Why can't he just trust me? I know he's worried about his image and reputation but can't he just trust me? He knows how much I'm head over heels for him, how could I have an affair??
While packing my stuff, I'm starting to have a bad feeling. It's like a hunch that something bad is going on. I shake my head and try to ignore the feeling. I'm just being over dramatic I guess.
It's nearing 9 am and I have everything ready. Right then I start to feel thirsty and hungry but I am only allowed to have a sip of plain water because I was told to fast 8 hours before surgery. Since my surgery is at 3pm, I already started fasting at 7am. Oh god this will be a long day.
I go to the kitchen to have a look at anything that I should bring with me. Should I bring my favourite tumbler along? My favourite mug? While I am having a mental discussion alone there, a clanking sound suddenly appears.
I turn around and see Sehun in his office attire, handsome as usual. He keeps his mouth shut, ignoring me like always.
"You're going straight to the site?" I asked, trying to break down the morning silence.
"Nope. I'll go there at 2" he answered nonchalantly. Okay at least there's a response from him.
"Alone?" I asked more.
"With Jongin and other company staffs"
"Be careful there" I said and quickly turn away. I can't look at him right now because I feel so guilty lying to him about Jeju.
I return back to my room to get my luggage and stuff. With a deep sigh and heavy heart, I bring my belongings to the living room. To my surprise, Sehun is still there. I thought he already left to work.
"I thought you already left" I said.
He stares at me, "I was about to, then your phone rang"
I left it on the counter top just now.
Oh no, don't tell me it was Namjoon oppa. I don't want any fight today.
"Who called?" I asked trying to act cool.
"Are you trying to make me look like a fool?"
I sigh. "Is it Namjoon oppa?"
"Wow! Totally right at first guess. So he's your cab" Sehun said mockingly. He's jumping into a ridiculous conclusion here.
"Please. I don't wanna start our day like this. I'm not lying, I'm really waiting for my cab right now"
He scoffs hearing my reply. "Then why he called early in the morning?"
"Are we seriously going to fight over this again? Is it a crime to call a friend to ask how they are doing?"
"Well look at you. Always taking his side" he said sarcastically with crossing arms. "How many times I have to tell you we have a reputation to keep? You are meeting him secretly, aren't you?"
I pinch the bridge of my nose and inhale deeply. What is wrong with Sehun this morning? Why is he being ridiculous? "Can't you trust me? He's just a good friend to me. I will never put you in a bad spot. I will never taint your reputation. Please, trust me"
He scoffs again, "Trust you? How can I trust you after what you did to Hyebin, huh?!"
Oh please, we're not doing this again.
"Oh please, not again. How many times I have to tell you? I know it is my fault but you don't know the whole story!" I replied to him firmly.
"I had enough of your play victim card"
"I am not playing...."
"You are always a trouble in my life Yeonhee" he said to me staring at me straight to the eye. "When you threw away the love letters for Yeri, I can still forgive you. Fine, perhaps it's a puppy love like you said. And when you told Sora you spend the night with me, I can still forgive you..."
"I did not tell her I spend the night with you! I said I spent the night at your house! Your mother invited me" I cut him immediately defending myself. It's true! I never said that!
"Ohhh please Yeonhee it's the same thing! You can just shut your mouth but you purposely said that and made she thought we were together. You led it to our breakup. Come on deny it!"
I stand there couldn't say anything. Why? Because he's right. That was one of the things I did hoping they will fight and end up breaking. Yes, I wasn't a good person back then.
"I still forgive you after all the trouble you brought to me. But when you almost cost Hyebin her life, that's it! You crossed the line Yeonhee. You asked me once why I hate you so much. Do you ever realize that you yourself, your mere existence makes me hate you?" he said with so much hatred in his voice. Was it a question or a statement?
I stand there looking at him without uttering a single word. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I am beyond heartbroken to the point that I don't even realize I am crying. I can't feel my tears, I just stand there watching him leave after the fight. Is this a sign that things won't go well today?
"Press the call button if you need any help. Or you can just call me straight away, okay?" Namjoon oppa said to me and this is the third time he told me the same thing.
Registration process was smooth and now I am resting in my room waiting for the surgery.
"
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