The fall breeze blew through the trees of the quiet little neighborhood I lived in for the past 7 months. It was one of those New Jersey neighborhoods that were on the nice side. No, the houses weren’t so big or fancy but they weren’t small either. I wrapped the blanket around myself as I watched the sky slowly turn crimson from the window next to where I was sitting.

Cars passed by once in a while down the street below me and kids were slowly being pulled into their houses by their parents and couples were now exiting their houses to go on their dates. Oh how lucky those people are. How they still had family, how they are in love, how they are able to feel so happy while I feel… nothing.

Nothingness, empty, that’s how I feel. I should be happy and thankful that I have escaped a falling country and move to the great and safe United States but I’m not because I remember just how I had escaped with Seungri, it was because of Seunghyun.

Seunghyun was my fiancé, he was my first love I guess, but most important, he was my protector. I remembered that night as if it was yesterday. Hell, I spent countless hours trying to stop the horrible nightmare that seems to replay itself in my head.

I remembered how I had stepped in between Seungri and Seunghyun’s gun, I remembered seeing that bullet turn on its own a few inches from me only to turn and shoot the shooter, I remember confessing my love for Seunghyun as I pressed a hand onto his bleeding chest, and I remember leaving him to die on the field of Seungri’s old house as Seungri himself dragged me away despite my pleads and screams.

That had to be the worst moment in my life. I remember the silent ride I had to the airport. I remember being half carried half dragged into the private plane that Seunghyun had managed to get us. But sadly the suffering doesn’t stop there, apparently even if I had already woken up from that nightmare, I was still stuck in the mental hell I was in.

Now I could never smile, I could never feel, worst of all I could never love. I found myself living in an empty shell that is my body from that night onwards. I’ve tried, truly tried to smile, to laugh like I used to, to live like I used to but then that memory washes over me and I’m back to that dark place I want so much to escape.

I hate that memory but I cherish it at the same time. I cherish that moment because it was the last time I saw Seunghyun, the last time I heard his voice, the last time I felt his warmth, and as much as I hate that depressing memory I would never want to forget it. But on the other hand I hate that memory so much because the memory of that faithful night killed me.

Sadly, this thing that I’m going through isn’t only affecting me, it also affects Seungri. He smiles and hugs me and tells me that’s it’s alright but I knew he too was dying inside. But at least I knew that Seungri was doing a lot better here than being cooped up in his house and warehouse back in Seoul.

Seungri now works in the New York Police Department as a special investigator. He’s gone from about 5 in the morning until about 3 pm, the working hours were cruel but it was a job that he took because he knew that if Jiyong was in the States or anything he’d be one of the first people to know.

“Vic, can you come down a sec?” I heard Seungri call out to me from downstairs. I sighed and got out from the little couch I was sitting in my room. I got up and straightened up the small tank top and shorts I was wearing and proceeded down the stairs to the kitchen.

“What is this?” I asked with wide eyes as I looked at the dining room before me. The table was covered by a reddish pinkish cloth. The fancy plates and dinnerware that Seungri had bought with the money he somehow brought over from Korea were arranged perfectly on the table. Two candles were lit on the silver candle holders in the middle of the table adding a little more light to the dimly lit room.

“Happy birthday, Vic!” Seungri said happily. I looked up at Seungri who was standing next to one of the chairs. A wide grin was plastered on his face. Seungri had dressed up, his hair was neatly spiked up and he was wearing a black and white tux.

At first I just stared at him in confusion then I saw the calendar placed on one of the shelves in the dining room. August 31^st, it was my 20^th birthday. I can’t believe it’s been a year, so many things have changed. Just last year I was celebrating my birthday with Seunghyun and my family in Seoul but now…

I looked back and saw Seungri smiling hopefully at me, yet I noticed a scared look on his face. I knew that look. This was his please-be-happy-for-once look. I usually get annoyed when he sent me those looks, especially in public. But now, looking at the dinner he prepared for me, I couldn’t be annoyed. I need to be happy, for his sake.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him and I saw the grin reappear on Seungri’s face. He smiled and pulled a chair for me.

“Seungri, I’m not dressed.” I said getting into the mood of this birthday dinner that smells suspiciously like a romantic dinner too.

“Ok, 5 minutes while I get the dishes.” Seungri said with a smile. I nodded and half walked half skipped up the steps of the stairs.

“What to wear?” I mumbled to myself as I stared at my closet. I strangely felt happy as I tried to find an appropriate outfit to wear. I smiled to myself hoping that this happiness will last for once.

I decided to wear a red fitting knee length dress with black sleeves matched with black ankle boots studded with black crystals. I curled my hair and put on my make up in front of the mirror in my bathroom. I smiled in satisfaction as I examined myself on the head to toe mirror in the corner of my room. It felt good to dress up after such a long time.

I walked down the steps quickly noticing I had spent more than 5 minutes getting ready. When I entered the dining room I saw Seungri sitting on the table with a bored expression as he stared at the 2 bowl of soup on the table.

“Beautiful.” I heard Seungri gasp out as he noticed me standing in the doorway. I tucked my hair behind my ear and look down trying to hide my blushing cheeks. When I looked up I saw him pull out a chair for me.

I walked over and sat down as Seungri sat down across from me. I looked down at the bowl of soup, inhaling the savory aroma.

“Bon appetite.” Seungri said and I took my first sip of soup. I smiled as I finally tasted food. I guess I never really enjoyed anything anymore, and maybe it’s time I pick myself back up and enjoy what’s left of my life.

“It’s delicious Ri, thanks.” I saw a grin spread over his face as he saw me smile the second time after 7 months of gloomy and crying.

Both of us ate happily. I have to say that Seungri’s cooking was better than I thought. I found myself feeling happy and I actually smile and laughed a lot today, thanks to Seungri. Now, I actually feel like I’m out of that hell, I actually feel like I would never go back to that sad place, I actually feel like I could forget everything and just be happy.

“Ok, desert time!” Seungri said happily rubbing his hands together. My eyes widen at the thought of another dish going into my stomach.

“Seriously? Aren’t you full, Ri?” I asked touching my slightly bloated stomach.

“Nope, and don’t you know desert is the best part? Be right back!” Seungri almost jumped out of his seat and skipped into the kitchen. I giggled; he was such a little boy sometime.

I waited for about 5 minutes before Seungri came out, looking nervous as as he held a covered tray in his hands.

“What’s this?” I asked excitedly as Seungri moved the candles and put the tray in the middle of the table.

“Desert.” Seungri said innocently as he opened the lid of the tray to reveal a small jewelry box. It was a ring box, I know, I got one from Seunghyun a long time ago.

Seungri took the ring box and walked around the table in my direction. I turned in my seat so that I was now facing him. He kneeled down on one knee and opens the ring box to reveal a beautiful engagement ring.

The ring wasn’t big but wasn’t small either, it was perfect. It was silver but the band was decorated with small delicate pink diamonds that complimented the medium sized diamond in the middle.

“Victoria Lee. I hate seeing you so unhappy, I hate seeing you sulk, and I want you to be happy. Tonight, you actually smiled and laughed. I missed that so much from you, you know that? But I want that happiness to last and I think I can give you that happiness. Vic, will you let me be your happiness? Vic, will you marry me?” Seungri asked me.

I could only ogle at the scene in front of me. I wanted to speak but I couldn’t open my mouth. I tried to calm my furiously beating heart but I can’t seem to inhale any air. As I looked at Seungri’s hopeful face the image of Seunghyun passes through my head sending a great amount of guilt through me causing my head to spin and for me to hyperventilate slightly.

“I-I… I’m sorry Ri.” I managed to say as tears well up in my eyes and I ran for it. I ran as fast as I can up the steps and into my room, slamming the door behind me.

‘What just happened?’ I asked myself fanning myself as I paced up and down my room. ‘Ok… so Seungri proposed. He freaking proposed!’ I sat on my bed and hugged my knees. “What am I going to do?”

“I want you to forget me; I want you to be happy with Seungri.”

Those words seem to slap me across the face. I cried as I heard some of Seunghyun’s last words for me. Is this what he wanted? I know if I accept this engagement I’ll probably end up forgetting him and killing the feelings I had for him… and I don’t think I want that. Tonight was perfect, hell, I’ve never felt this happy in a long time but I don’t think I’m ready to be engaged… again.

I panicked when I realized what I’ve done. ‘I left Seungri downstairs on his knees.’ I bet he feels like and it’s my entire fault. But what else could I do? I panicked to say the least. I feel so horrible now that I think about what I did. It wasn’t totally my fault though, I mean what was Seungri thinking by throwing a question like that in my face so suddenly?

“Arghh!” I grunted in frustration. Why is this happening to me? Out of all the people in the world why am I the one that has these problems? Why am I the one who have to make these kinds of decisions?

I got up from my bed and started to pace up and down my room again while I bit my fingernails. What am I going to do? I can’t face Seungri ever again after… that! I just can’t. My eyes landed on a traveling bag placed in the corner of the room. Could I just run away?

Knock Knock Knock

“Vic, it’s me, can I come in?” I heard Seungri say as he slowly opens the door.

“Yeah, I guess.” I say despite the fact that Seungri already let’s himself in.

“I’m sorry, did I freak you out back there.” Seungri said with a concerned face.

“I- well, yeah…” I sighed and looked down in guilt. “I mean… I didn’t expect you to… I’m really sorry, Seungri.” I said stuttering like a kid as tears started to well up in my eyes. I expect him to yell at me, to say how I was an ungrateful brat… to tell me to leave his house immediately, more tears slipped out of my eyes as I thought about the possibilities.

What I didn’t expect was Seungri to hug me. He wrapped his arms around me tightly embracing me in a hug. My eyes widened as I felt myself slowly melt under his heat. He rested his head on my shoulder and stayed there for a while.

“S-Seungri?” I croaked out after I found the air that Seungri knocked out of me earlier. He let go of me but held me by my shoulders instead.

“Look, it’s not your fault, ok? I know it was surprising…”

“Really surprising.” I interjected Seungri and he stared at me. “Sorry, oppa. Please continue.” I said like a punished kid and he smiled.

“I know it was surprising but I just loved seeing you so happy and I guess I got carried away in the moment. I didn’t mean to freak you out but I just wanted you to know I’m here for you. I hate seeing you sulking, I know if Seunghyun hyung was here he’d hate seeing you like this.”

The atmosphere changed in an instant when Seungri mentioned Seunghyun. Both of us never really talked about him, or what happened that night. It was just too painful to talk about for both of us. A tear rolled down my eye as that depressing feeling crashed over me.

“Vic, I’m so sorry.” Seungri said stepping forward towards me. He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears gently with his thumb. He smiled comfortingly and I found myself embracing him in a hug.

“Thank you oppa, for making me smile, making me laugh, thank you so much.” I whispered in his ear.

“Any time, Vic.” He said in my ear before breaking the hug. “Now, how about we get that desert?” He offered me a hand which I took gratefully.

No One’s POV

The cute couple made their way out of their house and into the streets where Seungri had parked his car. Seungri being the gentleman he is opened the door for his girlfriend. Vic smiled and climbed into the car, a big smile on her face. Seungri closed Vic’s door and jogged to the driver’s side and entered. Seungri started the car as he listened intently to a story Vic was telling him about. Both of them laughed, huge grins on their faces as Seungri finally pulled out of the parking space and drove down the street making his way to the ice cream parlor.

Blinded by their happiness the couple didn’t notice the mysterious man watching them from across the street. The man put down the binoculars he had used to spy on the happy couple back in his backpack.

“They’re really happy.” The man mumbled, his deep voice breaking the silence in his car. The man ran his hand through his brown highlighted hair as he thought of the couple.

They looked so happy, the happiest he’d seen them in a long time. The image of Victoria smiling like that burned itself in his mind: ‘She sure looked happy.’ The man thought as he smiled bitterly. ‘Guess she really loves Seungri after all.’

The man touched the small scar on his chest through the t-shirt he was wearing. It had healed over time but the skin has yet to set properly. It was because of them, that happy couple that he himself caused such a scar on his flawless skin… but what he did paid off seeing Seungri and Vic so happy now.

‘I guess you’re really happy now, Vic. I’m really glad you’ve forgotten the past, you’ve forgotten the sadness, you’ve forgotten the pain, and you’ve forgotten me. I’m just glad that you’re now happy. I love seeing you smile, even if I’m not the one making you smile.’ Seunghyun said despite the pain he felt in his chest and it wasn’t caused by the bullet that was in his chest 7 months ago, no it definitely wasn’t caused by that.

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Guys... TOP Is Very Much Alive!! I hated killing him in my other fic (check it out if you haven't, please *pouts*) Ok, so I'm like half way through the story, Yay! *happy dance*  But still a long way to go! Please COMMENT & SUBSCRIBE!