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Sehun's qoute:If you're giving your all to someone, and its not enough, you're giving it to the wrong person. Deception is something that can hurt you the most.
Sehun's heart is racing as Kai held him in his arms, he wants to forgive his friend but he don't think he's ready to do that just yet. Kai pulled away after a moment and he cupped Sehun's face, Sehun instinctively leans into the touch without intending to do so. “I’m sorry.” Kai's words are sincere and the apology is thick with remorse, proving with the expression Kai wears. “I’m so ing sorry, Sehun, for doing what I did. I’m not even going to try and justify myself. I did something wrong and I’m really sorry. I hope you can find it within you to forgive me, Hun– I swear to God I've never wanted to keep it a secret from you.”
"Then why did you?" "Your brother wanted to wait a little before telling you, he asked me not to tell you but I swear on my life Sehun I was tired of keeping it from you and I was planning on telling you today– but you already found out and I am so sorry for causing you such pain even if It was never my intention to so, I am so sorry for everything Hun. Please" Kai pleaded desperately and the look on his face almost made Sehun to give in. Sehun heaves a heavy breath at his words. He knows, deep down, that they’re sincere and there’s honesty with every syllable. But it’s hard to be okay with that, it’s hard to accept that they’re okay with just a few apologies and the feeling in his heart is stopping him from forgiving Kai, even if he wanted to do so , he gently pry Kai's hand from his face. "I am sorry too Kai, but I can't forgive you now, even if I wanted to do so" he tells him truthfully. Kai sighed and nodded.
"I understand, I will give you the time you needed" He said and Sehun simply nods. "One thing I know for sure is that even if I forgive you, we won't be how we used to be Kai" Kai blinked away the unshed tears in his eyes "No, no please Sehun, don't do this, tell me how to fix this" "We can't be fixed Kai, you've already damaged a huge part of our friendship.Breaking someone's trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper, you can smooth it over but it's never going to be the same again." "Tell how what you want me to do please, do you want me to break up with Shixun? Will that make you feel better?, I swear I will do anything to make it right." "No Kai, I don't want you to break up with my brother. He makes you happy don't he?"Kai reluctantly nod "then be with him Kai, i want you to be happy. I really do" Sehun place a hand on Kai's shoulder to send his message. "But now I need some time– please go home" Kai was about to bend on his knees when Sehun quickly catches his arm, stoping him from doing so as his eyes widened at the realization of what his friend was about to do
"What are you doing?" Kai let out a broken sob.
"Asking for forgiveness." "Kai I don't want you to kneel before me, where is your dignity, how can you do that for me?" "I will do more than that, if it means I get you to forgive me" Sehun wants to cry, he can't believe Kai is throwing away his dignity for him, how and why will he do that? It feels as if Sehun is more than just a friend to Kai, like his someone Kai can't live without, to go to such extent. The thought only hurt his heart even more."Kai please go home" is all Sehun said before he struts towards his bed and laid on it. Kai stayed rooted for a few minutes and Sehun refused to look his way, he can feel Kai's gaze on his back, but he refused to give in to his desires. To just go and hug him and whispered he's forgiven him. Another minute passed before Sehun heard Kai leaving his room without another word, and the moment Kai walked out Sehun heard his brother calling out for Kai, the foot steps stopped. "Shixun not now please" Sehun heard Kai said to his brother and he could here Kai's foot steps retreating. Then the next thing he knows is brother entering his room. Sehun raised his face and looked at the younger for a brief moment before averting his gaze elsewhere. Shixun stepped closer and sat next to him.
"Sehun" he called. Sehun raised his head and stare at his brother without uttering a word.
"I am sorry, I didn't know–" "Don't give me excuses, you can't do this to me Shixun," he sat up and turned to face his brother properly before he continues "you knew just right how I feel about Kai, you knew the truth xun,, you knew how much I love Kai, I tried telling you many times but you kept cutting me off whenever I tried to talk about it you because you know just right what I was going to say " he took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair "you know I love Kai but still you did this to me. So don't,–Don't shixun– just don't even try to justify your act by playing ignorance, you saw it in my eyes, you knew I had feelings for Kai, you just didn't want to aknowledged it" Sehun's whole body is shaking at this rate. "I saw how you looked at him. true, but I didn't know you had romantic feelings for him, I just thought you're so fond of him as a friend and as your platonic soulmate– I gave it a thought before confessing to Kai, I thought if you really had feelings for him why would you spend a whole eight years with him without letting him know how you truly feel? It doesn't make sense to me" "Well guess what? It does make sense to me too and everyone that knows how I feel about Kai, I was waiting for the right moment to tell him–" "I am sorry" "Your apology won't solve anything, so please stop trying" he turned his head sideway, just looking at his brother is making him angry– so ing angry. "How about I give up Kai for you?" Sehun has never turned his head to look at someone so fast like he did just now to his brother. "Are you kidding me?– no are you mocking me right now? Are you trying to show me how pathetic I am?" Shixun shakes his head a few times.
"No Sehun, I would never do that to you, I just want you to be happy and forgive me for everything and if giving Kai up is what will make it up to you I am ready to do it" He doesn't understand both Kai and Shixun, what is this relationship to them? A joke? Why would they keep saying they'll give up on each other just to earn his forgiveness? Do they even actually love each other? He wondered but he doesn't voice that out. Sehun stared at his brother for a long moment, trying to read the other's sincerity, if Shixun is displaying a faux sincerity then Sehun must say the other is really good at it unless his truly sincere about what he's saying. But Sehun doubt that.
"Do you really think I would be happy knowing I took Kai away from you?" "I took him away first so it just like given something that I took back" "Kai is not a thing Shixun, he's someone and you can't just play with someone's feeling like that, he's not a toy that you can just toss and pick whenever you want– do you even truly love him" he couldn't help but ask. "I know, I love Kai believe me, but you're are my brother, my flesh and blood, your happiness matters a lot" He wants to believe Shixun, but something doesn't feel right, Shixun never truly showed he cares ,"Why the sudden change?" "Huh?" "I mean you never showed you cared about me so why now?" No matter how Sehun do the maths he can't seem to get the perfect solution for why his brother suddenly cared, as far as he knows Shixun never showed an ounce of affection toward him or even care how he'll feel about something. This is strange, weird. "I am sorry I never showed i truly cared, but it doesn't matter because that's what i am trying to do now" "I don't want Kai, you can have him, besides it's you he's likes not me and I am not so desperate to have him even though I truly do love him. just so you know." "True, he loves me, and we've shared a very intimate moments together, but that wouldn't be a problem, I can cope with loosing him, and we can find a way to make Kai fall for you" Sehun used all his will power not slap his brother across the face right now, Shixun is really tasting his patience, what does he take him for, does he look that desperate or what? –Intimate moments? What the hell does that mean? What does Shixun mean by intimate moment?.
"Intimate?" "Yes, I mean the and all" Sehun could have sworn his brother just smirked. "Get out!" He yelled. Shixun looked dumbfounded.
"What why? What did I do? did I say something wrong?" He made a face and blinked a few times and Sehun was glad he just saw through his brother's pretence, it was just an act and Shixun somehow let Sehun see through it without intending to. You can't pretend to be something or someone you're not. "Just get the hell out of my room" "I was just trying to help– I am sorry if I offended you in any way" "Help?" He laughed bitterly "I don't need your help Shixun you go shove it up your " Shixun have the audacity to look offended and Sehun scoffed."It's not wise to turn down someone who only have good intentions." "Good intentions?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Out!" Sehun yelled one more time like he's ready to murde
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